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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

OK..... I have a problem which drives home absolutely to the crux of the problem with this new lockdown and wonder what people's thoughts are.

Mrs N's daughter has a business that has been closed. Normally on a Thursday we have our grand daughter to care for her. So tomorrow we'd normally have her. However Her mum will be at home, but Mrs N says she wants to have her grand daughter round anyway. Part of me says oh well it's just a little infringement, not going to do any harm. No one will know. Seen neighbours constantly too ing and froing during past lockdown. We've been seeing her for months now. I think I've had it. Bla Bla Bla

On the other hand I'm thinking. Hey this is wrong, It's breaking the law. I should say no here. What if I didn't have it, A child who goes to nursery at the moment is putting us at risk. Why risk it. Is Mrs N and the daughter just being selfish.

If I say no it'll cause resentment and an unnecessary argument.

I think what I will do and wait and see what the daughter, who is fairly sensible says and hopefully I will be let off the hook but I'm not comfortable with it, particularly as I've had to give up sporting activity that I love for next 4 weeks.

I am one of those people that thinks these lockdowns are pretty futile anyway, particularly with schools and Uni's staying open so can't see much point in it but I do follow the rules to my best so wonder what other people would do. Is it just too minor an infringement to just say Hey........ Whatever.

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford


"OK..... I have a problem which drives home absolutely to the crux of the problem with this new lockdown and wonder what people's thoughts are.

Mrs N's daughter has a business that has been closed. Normally on a Thursday we have our grand daughter to care for her. So tomorrow we'd normally have her. However Her mum will be at home, but Mrs N says she wants to have her grand daughter round anyway. Part of me says oh well it's just a little infringement, not going to do any harm. No one will know. Seen neighbours constantly too ing and froing during past lockdown. We've been seeing her for months now. I think I've had it. Bla Bla Bla

On the other hand I'm thinking. Hey this is wrong, It's breaking the law. I should say no here. What if I didn't have it, A child who goes to nursery at the moment is putting us at risk. Why risk it. Is Mrs N and the daughter just being selfish.

If I say no it'll cause resentment and an unnecessary argument.

I think what I will do and wait and see what the daughter, who is fairly sensible says and hopefully I will be let off the hook but I'm not comfortable with it, particularly as I've had to give up sporting activity that I love for next 4 weeks.

I am one of those people that thinks these lockdowns are pretty futile anyway, particularly with schools and Uni's staying open so can't see much point in it but I do follow the rules to my best so wonder what other people would do. Is it just too minor an infringement to just say Hey........ Whatever."

If we all make minor infringements, the numbers will not improve and never mind 4 weeks, we will still be in lockdown on New Year’s Eve... though with the holes in this lockdown you mention, that will probably be the case anyway

Grand parents shouldn’t be caring for grand children but I know that creates very difficult challenges.

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By *incskittenWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so."

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

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By *pursChick aka ShortieWoman
over a year ago

On a mooch

If the child is under five the wife can see her daughter & grandchild in the park.

If the daughter is a single parent, living alone with the child you can have that as your support bubble

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to. "

They can, but the adult daughter would not be able to stay in the house while the child visited (unless single parent bubble etc). It's drop off at the door, or it's supposed to be, like at a nursery or childminder.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to. "

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

Honestly it's just a small problem which may not materialise but just wondering what other people would do in my position. It sort of goes all the way to the problem that families face day in day out trying to live by these rules.

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By *tace 309TV/TS
over a year ago

durham

Well my daughter is a key worker. If I dont look after my grandson then she can't go into work. If there is no alternative. I don't see any problem. Everyone's, circumstances are different

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

They can, but the adult daughter would not be able to stay in the house while the child visited (unless single parent bubble etc). It's drop off at the door, or it's supposed to be, like at a nursery or childminder."

Seems fair to me.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

Honestly it's just a small problem which may not materialise but just wondering what other people would do in my position. It sort of goes all the way to the problem that families face day in day out trying to live by these rules."

I think we with all these things, that it's down to interpretation. It's something you're going to have to resolve with your wife.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

"

Do the right thing. Let's not be one of those who thinks the rules are for other people and Im too clever / selfish / strong to follow them. As mentioned already. If everyone did the same thing it defeats the purpose and efforts entirely. Just 4 weeks... Stay strong and hopefully we all come out in a better place than going in. Stronger together.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

Do the right thing. Let's not be one of those who thinks the rules are for other people and Im too clever / selfish / strong to follow them. As mentioned already. If everyone did the same thing it defeats the purpose and efforts entirely. Just 4 weeks... Stay strong and hopefully we all come out in a better place than going in. Stronger together. "

I agree with you but being strong in this case will be me expressing the view that our grand daughter should not be visiting. Mrs N and I are very good communicators though. What I intend to do is wait and see if arrangements are made and then I will have to say, I really don't think we should be doing this and see what she says. Probably she'll say that if I don't want the grand daughter here then she will cancel the arrangement so as not to cause problems but........ it's not very nice to have to do that and I think the best thing for me to do is keep Stummmmmm for the time being as common sense may prevail and no problem occurs naturally.

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By *inCity BluesMan
over a year ago

London

Hi Naughtystaffs

I may not be up on the rules regarding childcare, but your dilemma appears to be a moral and ethical one rather than a legal one. From the Hull Live website:

"Updated government guidance states: "Parents are able to form a childcare bubble with another household for the purposes of informal childcare.."

However, the childcare bubble is restricted to be only between the same two households. People can only form one childcare bubble. The government website states: "For any given childcare bubble, this must always be between the same 2 households."

This means the same grandparents have to look after the same grandchildren every time - you are not allowed to swap households."

So you wouldn't be breaking the rules, as long as you're the only set of grandparents providing childcare.

Is this right?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hi Naughtystaffs

I may not be up on the rules regarding childcare, but your dilemma appears to be a moral and ethical one rather than a legal one. From the Hull Live website:

"Updated government guidance states: "Parents are able to form a childcare bubble with another household for the purposes of informal childcare.."

However, the childcare bubble is restricted to be only between the same two households. People can only form one childcare bubble. The government website states: "For any given childcare bubble, this must always be between the same 2 households."

This means the same grandparents have to look after the same grandchildren every time - you are not allowed to swap households."

So you wouldn't be breaking the rules, as long as you're the only set of grandparents providing childcare.

Is this right?

"

Thanks for that but to be fair I think the problem is more moral than legal. Is it one of those situations of interpreting rules to suit oneself ?There is no need for us to provide Child care for next 4 weeks. So are we in reality just having the child round for a recreational visit ?

Some would say it is good for the child to maintain her routines and it's good to see Granny and Grand dad but the fact of the matter is the child goes to nursery where no matter how hard they try there is risk of infection. Are we putting ourselves at unnecessary risk.

Up until now I've been pretty good at following the rules, no matter how ridiculous they seem and have perhaps avoided infection or maybe I haven't. Who knows ? I'm not one of those for bothering the testing stations every time I cough or sniff so what's the answer here ?

Probably keep Stummm for the time being and see how it pans out. I think that is the answer at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say have the conversation about it with your wife now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to. "

Yes, they can

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

Do the right thing. Let's not be one of those who thinks the rules are for other people and Im too clever / selfish / strong to follow them. As mentioned already. If everyone did the same thing it defeats the purpose and efforts entirely. Just 4 weeks... Stay strong and hopefully we all come out in a better place than going in. Stronger together.

I agree with you but being strong in this case will be me expressing the view that our grand daughter should not be visiting. Mrs N and I are very good communicators though. What I intend to do is wait and see if arrangements are made and then I will have to say, I really don't think we should be doing this and see what she says. Probably she'll say that if I don't want the grand daughter here then she will cancel the arrangement so as not to cause problems but........ it's not very nice to have to do that and I think the best thing for me to do is keep Stummmmmm for the time being as common sense may prevail and no problem occurs naturally.

"

It is a tough time for all of us, put in situations we haven't imagined before. But at least we cN look in the mirror and think we've done our best to reduce the spread.

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By *incskittenWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

Honestly it's just a small problem which may not materialise but just wondering what other people would do in my position. It sort of goes all the way to the problem that families face day in day out trying to live by these rules.

I think we with all these things, that it's down to interpretation. It's something you're going to have to resolve with your wife.

"

I disagree.

It's not down to interpretation. The daughter isnt working during lockdown, therefore they are not needed for childcare.

It's clear no interpretation needed.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Does your wife's daughter need an eye test op? I suspect you could legitimately look after your step granddaughter if she did.

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By *incskittenWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

It's people twisting the rules to suit themselves that keeps those of us abiding by them frustrated.

At least i can look at myself in the mirror and know im a good person because i havent broken lockdown rules or interpreted them to suit myself. I have family i cant see and havent seen for months and its killing me.

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By *ensualtouch15Man
over a year ago

ashby de la zouch


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol"

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"It's people twisting the rules to suit themselves that keeps those of us abiding by them frustrated.

At least i can look at myself in the mirror and know im a good person because i havent broken lockdown rules or interpreted them to suit myself. I have family i cant see and havent seen for months and its killing me."

Me too.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to. "

They can buy the child’s mother isn’t working so doesn’t need childcare. Childcare bubbles only exist while childcare is needed

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"It's people twisting the rules to suit themselves that keeps those of us abiding by them frustrated.

At least i can look at myself in the mirror and know im a good person because i havent broken lockdown rules or interpreted them to suit myself. I have family i cant see and havent seen for months and its killing me."

Me too ... annoys me tbh

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Hi Naughtystaffs

I may not be up on the rules regarding childcare, but your dilemma appears to be a moral and ethical one rather than a legal one. From the Hull Live website:

"Updated government guidance states: "Parents are able to form a childcare bubble with another household for the purposes of informal childcare.."

However, the childcare bubble is restricted to be only between the same two households. People can only form one childcare bubble. The government website states: "For any given childcare bubble, this must always be between the same 2 households."

This means the same grandparents have to look after the same grandchildren every time - you are not allowed to swap households."

So you wouldn't be breaking the rules, as long as you're the only set of grandparents providing childcare.

Is this right?

"

This is right but they don’t need childcare as child’s mother isn’t working ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

"

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work."

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter."

It could be economic but for whatever reason the guidlines say grandparents can provide childcare. I have provided childcare since he was 9 months old, i do it because i enjoy it, nowadays it's good to provide some stability for him in this very different world. However the government wouldn't have provided finacial help for the childcare anyway and that's another reason that i do it. If i didn't do it then she couldn't work (she's an essential keyworker)and if she couldn't work she would be getting benefits from the government

I don't think it's a trival matter at all.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

A lot of teachers who are also grandparents find themselves in the strange position of being able to spend their working days with other people's grandchildren but not being able to spend leisure time with their own. It's a funny old world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of teachers who are also grandparents find themselves in the strange position of being able to spend their working days with other people's grandchildren but not being able to spend leisure time with their own. It's a funny old world. "

It's very strange indeed.

I work partime in Early Years Education so i can't see my grandchildren (unless i am providing childcare for them, which i do on a part time basis) but i am looking after lots of other children of the same age in my workplace !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A lot of teachers who are also grandparents find themselves in the strange position of being able to spend their working days with other people's grandchildren but not being able to spend leisure time with their own. It's a funny old world. "

That's true but then if we don't provide an education for children we are failing them and denying them a potential education and a future.

With grandchildren they can skype or zoom with them there is no point putting their own grandchildren at risk.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter.

It could be economic but for whatever reason the guidlines say grandparents can provide childcare. I have provided childcare since he was 9 months old, i do it because i enjoy it, nowadays it's good to provide some stability for him in this very different world. However the government wouldn't have provided finacial help for the childcare anyway and that's another reason that i do it. If i didn't do it then she couldn't work (she's an essential keyworker)and if she couldn't work she would be getting benefits from the government

I don't think it's a trival matter at all."

No one is disputing that grandparents can provide childcare (I personally wouldn’t risk my mum but there you go) the issue to the op is that childcare isn’t needed but they’re doing it anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter.

It could be economic but for whatever reason the guidlines say grandparents can provide childcare. I have provided childcare since he was 9 months old, i do it because i enjoy it, nowadays it's good to provide some stability for him in this very different world. However the government wouldn't have provided finacial help for the childcare anyway and that's another reason that i do it. If i didn't do it then she couldn't work (she's an essential keyworker)and if she couldn't work she would be getting benefits from the government

I don't think it's a trival matter at all.

No one is disputing that grandparents can provide childcare (I personally wouldn’t risk my mum but there you go) the issue to the op is that childcare isn’t needed but they’re doing it anyway. "

I was replying to whoever said its an economic reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter.

It could be economic but for whatever reason the guidlines say grandparents can provide childcare. I have provided childcare since he was 9 months old, i do it because i enjoy it, nowadays it's good to provide some stability for him in this very different world. However the government wouldn't have provided finacial help for the childcare anyway and that's another reason that i do it. If i didn't do it then she couldn't work (she's an essential keyworker)and if she couldn't work she would be getting benefits from the government

I don't think it's a trival matter at all.

No one is disputing that grandparents can provide childcare (I personally wouldn’t risk my mum but there you go) the issue to the op is that childcare isn’t needed but they’re doing it anyway. "

My daughter has no choice about me providing childcare. She can't afford to pay childcare fees so she would be out of a job. Im willing to provide childcare. I am in more danger at work where i look after a large group of children the same age as my grandchild

There was one poster who said grandparents shouldnt mix

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"A lot of teachers who are also grandparents find themselves in the strange position of being able to spend their working days with other people's grandchildren but not being able to spend leisure time with their own. It's a funny old world.

That's true but then if we don't provide an education for children we are failing them and denying them a potential education and a future.

With grandchildren they can skype or zoom with them there is no point putting their own grandchildren at risk."

So it's not a decision based partly on financial considerations? If children aren't in school or being somehow cared for their parents aren't able to work very easily.

Whichever way you look at this the older person in the equation must be protected on some cases but not others. It just seems odd to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If their daughter isn't working then she has no reason to ask them for childcare though.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"Don't get between a Mother and her babies, be it grown babies or grandchildren. You will loose lol

Sadly that will have to happen

Forget law or guidelines just as cov SARS 19 does

Simple fact

Children and grand parents must NOT MIX to prevent death and suffering

That's it

Sad I know

Oh what's that it cant be avoided??

Could it be avoided if the children were carrying a disease you could see and caused instant skin melting death ?

Yes of course

Whilst the generations mix death figures and hospital admissions will climb

It's not law to avoid bareback sex with randoms however!!!!!!!!

We CANNOT prevent our under 15s getting it we CANNOT expect the kids not to get it we must expect parents of these kids to get it

And the only way to actually prevent death is to totally remove the contact of the two groups

Anything else is hope , lip service and denial

So no it matters not the law or how inconvenient not permitting grandparents to help the virus dont care

Mix and statistically more death will follow

Now if the grandparents want to sign a DNR and have their choice to die that's fine

In the guidlines it says that grandparents can provide childcare for their grandchildren. I provide childcare for one of my grandchildren so their mum (who is an essential key worker) can continue to work. Otherwise she couldnt work.

Isn't that an economic argument though rather than legal or moral. In that case Nan and grandad are providing the child care, possibly free of charge and at no cost to the state so that is why that is being allowed. Do you see the subtlety of how this pans out once you start digging into such a small trivial matter.

It could be economic but for whatever reason the guidlines say grandparents can provide childcare. I have provided childcare since he was 9 months old, i do it because i enjoy it, nowadays it's good to provide some stability for him in this very different world. However the government wouldn't have provided finacial help for the childcare anyway and that's another reason that i do it. If i didn't do it then she couldn't work (she's an essential keyworker)and if she couldn't work she would be getting benefits from the government

I don't think it's a trival matter at all.

No one is disputing that grandparents can provide childcare (I personally wouldn’t risk my mum but there you go) the issue to the op is that childcare isn’t needed but they’re doing it anyway.

I was replying to whoever said its an economic reason"

Well it is an economic reason - you provide childcare so your daughter can work, if you were not allowed to do that your daughter couldn’t work: couldn’t pay taxes and couldn’t make purchases that weren’t wssential herself. She may lost her hone and the state may need to house her, child may need free schoo meals. Bojo isn’t letting you do it for your or her sake - it’s to save money. For me my mums life is worth more than saving the state money.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

My mum is in her 70s though - were she in her fifties I may think differently.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

"

There is an exception for child care which makes a mockery of it but there you go. Although I think it is more babysitting if the adult has to go to work

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/new-national-restrictions-from-5-november#childcare-and-childrens-activities

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I cant see my son , i wont break lockdown rules to do so.

Yes I rather hope Mrs N's daughter will do the right thing and politely say that she can handle child care for next 4 weeks.

It is a tough one and goes all the way to the heart of the ultimate sacrifices we make. And the longer it goes on the more and more resentful one becomes of those that have no regard or respect whatsoever.

There is an exception for child care which makes a mockery of it but there you go. Although I think it is more babysitting if the adult has to go to work

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/new-national-restrictions-from-5-november#childcare-and-childrens-activities"

Thanks for this. I had to laugh ( it pays to at the moment). The next paragraph down is about people over 60 and how they should avoid all contact. Does that mean at 59 I can knock myself out for another 10 months

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My mum is in her 70s though - were she in her fifties I may think differently. "

My mum is also in her 70s, i wouldnt be providing childcare if i was that age but im a young 59, i also work part time in a job that puts me at risk far more than looking after one young child.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

"

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this"

It's the same for me however I'm far more at risk at work as i daily mix with approx 30 different households each day, with no PPE.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Whichever way you look at this the older person in the equation must be protected on some cases but not others. It just seems odd to me"

This

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this

It's the same for me however I'm far more at risk at work as i daily mix with approx 30 different households each day, with no PPE."

School? My relative has PPE in school and the Grandchildrens school has it too. Maybe ask why you can't have it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this

It's the same for me however I'm far more at risk at work as i daily mix with approx 30 different households each day, with no PPE.

School? My relative has PPE in school and the Grandchildrens school has it too. Maybe ask why you can't have it?"

I work in Early Years Education. We don't wear PPE unless changing a nappy and i work in preschool so it's rare we have a child in nappies

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By *incskittenWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

[Removed by poster at 04/11/20 14:40:31]

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By *inCity BluesMan
over a year ago

London

If you've ever wondered what it is that Whitehall civil servants do for their money, this thread sums it up.

The difficulty in shaping policy into laws is epitomised by exactly this kind of discussion, with every minute possibility* being considered. The thing is, you usually have many months of consultation to discuss and dissect the issues repeatedly with all the major players as well as public submissions to consider.

Currently the Government has to come up with these rules in just weeks. I don't envy them or their civil servants one bit, it is an impossible task to get it completely right.

*I remember one policy discussion being derailed by the question "How would this apply to asexuals?" I was younger then and didn't even know what an asexual was and had to look it up lol. But it gives you an idea into how deeply things are considered in normal times (and that's before the bastard lawyers get involved.) But these ain't normal times, so mistakes are going to be made, sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand your predicament OP, I had a pretty bad argument with my parents about letting my brother and niece in the house while we were in the midst of the last lockdown and things were still pretty dire.

It later transpired he had had a blazing row with his wife and needed to escape for a bit so I became a bit more understanding; it's not always black and white, unfortunately.

If she is really and truly set on breaking the rules, why not try to mitigate the damage and offer an alternative? Instead of having the little one round why not spend the day outdoors at the park, or even having fun in the garden (weather permitting). Transmission risks are greatly reduced outside after all. However, wouldn't it be better to go 4 Thursdays without seeing her in exchange for many more Thursdays in the future?

I will say though that you should talk to her about it now instead of waiting until the last minute like you've mentioned. Don't let her look forward to seeing her grandbaby all evening only to dash her hopes tomorrow morning.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this"

Yeah we didn't see our little angel during the last lockdown so now worries about us being hardened covidiots, And we do take this seriously. it's just that we've been looking after her on thursdays for last few months as normal and permitted, but suddenly she has become a source of risk and danger again both from point of view of law (fines) and safety from this disease. Gets on your nerves and is a bit stressful. I suppose alot of people would just say "Welcome to my world". As I said my gut feeling is Mum will just not expect us to have her again. Keeping my fingers crossed here to be honest that the issue will not have to be addressed.

It is a really really small problem but one of the issues a lot of people are putting up with I daresay.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I understand your predicament OP, I had a pretty bad argument with my parents about letting my brother and niece in the house while we were in the midst of the last lockdown and things were still pretty dire.

It later transpired he had had a blazing row with his wife and needed to escape for a bit so I became a bit more understanding; it's not always black and white, unfortunately.

If she is really and truly set on breaking the rules, why not try to mitigate the damage and offer an alternative? Instead of having the little one round why not spend the day outdoors at the park, or even having fun in the garden (weather permitting). Transmission risks are greatly reduced outside after all. However, wouldn't it be better to go 4 Thursdays without seeing her in exchange for many more Thursdays in the future?

I will say though that you should talk to her about it now instead of waiting until the last minute like you've mentioned. Don't let her look forward to seeing her grandbaby all evening only to dash her hopes tomorrow morning. "

Sound advice. Thankyou

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By *incskittenWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this

Yeah we didn't see our little angel during the last lockdown so now worries about us being hardened covidiots, And we do take this seriously. it's just that we've been looking after her on thursdays for last few months as normal and permitted, but suddenly she has become a source of risk and danger again both from point of view of law (fines) and safety from this disease. Gets on your nerves and is a bit stressful. I suppose alot of people would just say "Welcome to my world". As I said my gut feeling is Mum will just not expect us to have her again. Keeping my fingers crossed here to be honest that the issue will not have to be addressed.

It is a really really small problem but one of the issues a lot of people are putting up with I daresay.

"

Be grateful to have spent time with her .Some of us havent seen our grandchildren for months.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Don't be swayed by what others do, or whether you disagree with lockdown. Go by the rules and emergency needs only.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I could be very wrong here but I thought grandparents who were doing childcare could continue to.

Yes but......... there is no need for us to do it as the daughters business is closed for duration. So there is no specific need for us to care for the child.

This is a reason of why it shouldn't be done. All of us went for months not seeing Grandchildren in the first lock down. It is really hard but this has to be done and I know a month is a long time not to see family but it is a piece of cake compared to the first one.( assuming it stays for just a month )

I am lucky I am the babysitter so will see mine, however it still makes a mockery of it as there is still mixing going on from different households for me to do this

Yeah we didn't see our little angel during the last lockdown so now worries about us being hardened covidiots, And we do take this seriously. it's just that we've been looking after her on thursdays for last few months as normal and permitted, but suddenly she has become a source of risk and danger again both from point of view of law (fines) and safety from this disease. Gets on your nerves and is a bit stressful. I suppose alot of people would just say "Welcome to my world". As I said my gut feeling is Mum will just not expect us to have her again. Keeping my fingers crossed here to be honest that the issue will not have to be addressed.

It is a really really small problem but one of the issues a lot of people are putting up with I daresay.

"

To be fair it is going to be a hard conversation but one that needs to be done. As much as I love my Grandchildren if it was against the rules I wouldn't be babysitting. At the moment their mum is trying to get alternative arrangements like she did in lockdown to save us doing it, I wouldn't be doing it if she wasn't in work though.

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By *ancsduoCouple
over a year ago

Morecambe


"OK..... I have a problem which drives home absolutely to the crux of the problem with this new lockdown and wonder what people's thoughts are.

Mrs N's daughter has a business that has been closed. Normally on a Thursday we have our grand daughter to care for her. So tomorrow we'd normally have her. However Her mum will be at home, but Mrs N says she wants to have her grand daughter round anyway. Part of me says oh well it's just a little infringement, not going to do any harm. No one will know. Seen neighbours constantly too ing and froing during past lockdown. We've been seeing her for months now. I think I've had it. Bla Bla Bla

On the other hand I'm thinking. Hey this is wrong, It's breaking the law. I should say no here. What if I didn't have it, A child who goes to nursery at the moment is putting us at risk. Why risk it. Is Mrs N and the daughter just being selfish.

If I say no it'll cause resentment and an unnecessary argument.

I think what I will do and wait and see what the daughter, who is fairly sensible says and hopefully I will be let off the hook but I'm not comfortable with it, particularly as I've had to give up sporting activity that I love for next 4 weeks.

I am one of those people that thinks these lockdowns are pretty futile anyway, particularly with schools and Uni's staying open so can't see much point in it but I do follow the rules to my best so wonder what other people would do. Is it just too minor an infringement to just say Hey........ Whatever."

If they are in your bubble,your allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit to seeing my daughter and grandchild even when not allowed and despite me being highly vulnerable, it was to preserve her mental health, she was finding it very hard when furloughed in part of the first lockdown, it helped my mental health too. We limited exposure by being socially distanced outside. It was my suggestion and my choice, not hers.

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