Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Virus |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance." On the face of it I agree with you, is there a particular reason your daughter wants him to move in? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance. On the face of it I agree with you, is there a particular reason your daughter wants him to move in?" Well that's probably very obvious | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If I was happy to have him move in, without covid 19, then I would allow him to stay now. Obviously moving all his stuff right now is not advisable but he is allowed to change households, even at this time. The last thing I would want to do is cause them extra stress by trying to keep them separated but that's me. My daughter is an adult. " This is the exact same stance Mrs N is taking. The person who asked does she work, she has been furloughed, she works in a restaurant so could be a long time before she returns, she's also at university and studying at home. For me it's the increased risk, he will be mixing in close contact with others at work, I am as well as mother but why introduce another who does the same? There isn't for me a logical reason why he should be in this house, I'm taking it the daughter is missing him terribly which I understand, afterall myself and mother have each other but their situation is different, they have to be separate to keep their households safe. Almost feel like they're being quite selfish but also questioning myself hence the thread. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If she's that desperate, ask her to move in with him. Definitely a no if it were us, I haven't seen my family in 5 weeks " She's seriously considering that which I don't want, the status quo is what I reccomend and as far as I know is the stance we should all be taking. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We are meant to be in lockdown, not even allowed to visit family members. Having someone move in during this time goes against the guidelines set out and risk putting you and your family at risk. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't move him in now or anytime for that matter. " Now I understand but anytime is a different matter, it would depend upon the situation at the time. Just to add, he's a nice person with a family we know, it's a long term relationship. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would definitely say NO! I live alone, I am now working from home, I am feeling totally isolated, I have had a few mini breakdowns from lack of contact, but why risk your entire family? You daughter is asking for too much on unreasonable terms! Yes we are in lockdown, but it isn't going to last forever, so tell her to grow up and get over her own selfishness, if she wants to be treated like an adult then act like one! " My stance precisely. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would definitely say NO! I live alone, I am now working from home, I am feeling totally isolated, I have had a few mini breakdowns from lack of contact, but why risk your entire family? You daughter is asking for too much on unreasonable terms! Yes we are in lockdown, but it isn't going to last forever, so tell her to grow up and get over her own selfishness, if she wants to be treated like an adult then act like one! My stance precisely." Then stand by it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't move him in now or anytime for that matter. Now I understand but anytime is a different matter, it would depend upon the situation at the time. Just to add, he's a nice person with a family we know, it's a long term relationship. " Yeah but you said he had a job so they should really get their own place imho | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Our daughter went to stay with her bf just before lockdown. She hasn't been home since. It's been difficult to deal with. Why is it so important that he moves in right now op?" Enjoy your thread inputs. I don't know is the honest answer but guessing they are missing each other. For me it isn't important at all and the the social distancing is paramount as well as not mixing household even though I get where she's coming from feelings wise. We both feel for you about not seeing your daughter for five weeks. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't move him in now or anytime for that matter. Now I understand but anytime is a different matter, it would depend upon the situation at the time. Just to add, he's a nice person with a family we know, it's a long term relationship. Yeah but you said he had a job so they should really get their own place imho" Too young for that, he's an apprentice, she's a first year university student. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would definitely say NO! I live alone, I am now working from home, I am feeling totally isolated, I have had a few mini breakdowns from lack of contact, but why risk your entire family? You daughter is asking for too much on unreasonable terms! Yes we are in lockdown, but it isn't going to last forever, so tell her to grow up and get over her own selfishness, if she wants to be treated like an adult then act like one! My stance precisely. Then stand by it " Yep! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If it is a long term relationship why didn't they move in together just before the lockdown ?" Hindsight is a great thing. As I've said they're too young. Apprentice and a first test university student financially it isn't wise. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If it is a long term relationship why didn't they move in together just before the lockdown ? Hindsight is a great thing. As I've said they're too young. Apprentice and a first test university student financially it isn't wise." No but the time to do it was at the start of the lockdown in March not now. The government even said this at the time that couples living apart either stay apart or one moved in with the other ASAP | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If it is a long term relationship why didn't they move in together just before the lockdown ? Hindsight is a great thing. As I've said they're too young. Apprentice and a first test university student financially it isn't wise." would you not rather they move in with you than her decide to move out to be with him? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If it is a long term relationship why didn't they move in together just before the lockdown ? Hindsight is a great thing. As I've said they're too young. Apprentice and a first test university student financially it isn't wise. would you not rather they move in with you than her decide to move out to be with him? " I (he) personally think it would be safer for her to move into his as he is the only one coming in and out of the house as opposed to me and her Mum who are I contact with people every single day. Him moving in here makes it three people doing that increasing the risk. Truth is I want it to remain as it is and keep the households separate. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"How could he safely isolate in the house if he is coming in and out from work every day ?" That's my argument. Neither can I or Mrs N but we have no choice but to go to work, he for me increases the risk. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So if she moved in with him she would be sitting with his parents all day while he was at work ?" Yes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would she want to do that ?" You tell me. Bonkers! Can only say she terribly misses him but for me it's crazy. I remember being a young teenager, me and Mrs N were together as school kids so I get that but this is a whole lot different. I really do feel for her but will not encourage it. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"[Removed by poster at 18/04/20 22:12:01]" They're working from home. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"As you said it's a risk with him going out to work mixing with potentially people who are asymptomatic (sp?). It's just not worth the risk. Does your daughter understand that? We had to tell our 18yr old son that he couldn't go out to the snooker club literally the day before lockdown, he took it wuite badly. Blanked us for a few days but soon got over it. She would probably rather stay at yours rather than go to his especially if his parents are going to be there. She's obviously won the wife over so feels like she's on side so will probably go on and on until you cave in but really you know you should stick to your guns." Thank you. Absolutely sticking to it, it's just not going to happen. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance." Well you did ask for consensus | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance." I wouldn't need to justify or seek approval of who I allowed to live in my house. If you'd have said yes prior to the lockdown, what's the problem? If you just don't want to be the bad guys and be besties instead of parents: not my monkeys, not my circus. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance. I wouldn't need to justify or seek approval of who I allowed to live in my house. If you'd have said yes prior to the lockdown, what's the problem? If you just don't want to be the bad guys and be besties instead of parents: not my monkeys, not my circus." Calm down a bit, lol. I was questioning myself yesterday thinking I was losing the plot and not getting why we were even having that particular conversation. Put a thread up which as I expected the consensus is exactly the stance I'm at. No approval needed, just curious. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would definitely say NO! I live alone, I am now working from home, I am feeling totally isolated, I have had a few mini breakdowns from lack of contact, but why risk your entire family? You daughter is asking for too much on unreasonable terms! Yes we are in lockdown, but it isn't going to last forever, so tell her to grow up and get over her own selfishness, if she wants to be treated like an adult then act like one! " far too harsh saying her behaviour smacks of acting like a child. If you don't ask, you don't get - I don't see a problem in her asking at all. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We wouldn't do it. Not for any great moral grounds but it is a bit of a rod for your own back. They will get too comfortable and ask yourself do you really want to be woken up in the middle of the night to the noises of them banging away at it, Your daughters boyfriend using your home like it was his. I bet he wont pay his way either. £ 100/week minimum as you are about to take on the roll of landlady. They need to pay for it. Daughter too if you ask me. Good luck. " I believe in children paying their way but if a stranger told me how much and a uni student to pay also, I'd have strong words to say, especially as it wasn't asked for. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I know this will piss people off just by asking but hear me out please. Daughter wants her boyfriend to move in, he works in construction so there's a possibility he could bring in the virus at any time. I (he) also work in the same field and at work daily, Mum is a key worker and is out working every day. I'm getting serious earache for not letting him move in but in my mind he's from another household, he's an extra danger interms of bringing in the virus, am I wrong in saying 'no way can he be part of our home?'. To give credence, we think we've all had it, had a rough time did we all but we couldn't be tested as not hospitalised so in my opinion we carry on as if we haven't (no proof) hence my stance." Don't let him move in till afterwards. Better safe then sorry, he may not have it but you may pass it on to him if you have and if he goes to work he could pass it on to anyone he works with which is the point of self isolating and just because you have had it doesn't mean you won't get it again with worst symptoms. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We wouldn't do it. Not for any great moral grounds but it is a bit of a rod for your own back. They will get too comfortable and ask yourself do you really want to be woken up in the middle of the night to the noises of them banging away at it, Your daughters boyfriend using your home like it was his. I bet he wont pay his way either. £ 100/week minimum as you are about to take on the roll of landlady. They need to pay for it. Daughter too if you ask me. Good luck. I believe in children paying their way but if a stranger told me how much and a uni student to pay also, I'd have strong words to say, especially as it wasn't asked for. " Ha ha, I learnt this lesson the hard way I'm afraid. My old man did exactly the same thing to me. It's hard but in the long run does you good to be told no. It's what being a parent is all about. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We wouldn't do it. Not for any great moral grounds but it is a bit of a rod for your own back. They will get too comfortable and ask yourself do you really want to be woken up in the middle of the night to the noises of them banging away at it, Your daughters boyfriend using your home like it was his. I bet he wont pay his way either. £ 100/week minimum as you are about to take on the roll of landlady. They need to pay for it. Daughter too if you ask me. Good luck. I believe in children paying their way but if a stranger told me how much and a uni student to pay also, I'd have strong words to say, especially as it wasn't asked for. Ha ha, I learnt this lesson the hard way I'm afraid. My old man did exactly the same thing to me. It's hard but in the long run does you good to be told no. It's what being a parent is all about. " I agree - children have to learn responsibility and the exact value of money, but to be told by a stranger the amount, errrrmm, unless asked for, is a no! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Fair enough. I stand chided " Good, now sit on the naughty step - one minute per year of your age | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think its sad the number of people that have mentioned the daughter missing sex Are we all so jaded that we can’t believe she loves him and is missing the emotional connection of having someone close Even the OP said it was a long term relationship and, and he and his wife had been together since teens That said if the OP feels the risk is too high then so be it, but perhaps if that is the real reason then by the same logic it is actually safer for the daughter to move to his where only one person leaves the house daily " Totally hit the nail on the head for me with your post and her moving in with him is the only option if she was to make the wrong decision to move out. I have an inkling she's decided that her moving out or him moving in (which isn't an option) is the wrong decision either way. But yes, I totally get where she's coming from, must be like a bereavement, probably get hammered for using that word but it'll definitely feel like a loss for her. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would definitely say NO! I live alone, I am now working from home, I am feeling totally isolated, I have had a few mini breakdowns from lack of contact, but why risk your entire family? You daughter is asking for too much on unreasonable terms! Yes we are in lockdown, but it isn't going to last forever, so tell her to grow up and get over her own selfishness, if she wants to be treated like an adult then act like one! far too harsh saying her behaviour smacks of acting like a child. If you don't ask, you don't get - I don't see a problem in her asking at all. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think its sad the number of people that have mentioned the daughter missing sex Are we all so jaded that we can’t believe she loves him and is missing the emotional connection of having someone close Even the OP said it was a long term relationship and, and he and his wife had been together since teens That said if the OP feels the risk is too high then so be it, but perhaps if that is the real reason then by the same logic it is actually safer for the daughter to move to his where only one person leaves the house daily " Oh fuck it, you've swung me. Let him in OP. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think its sad the number of people that have mentioned the daughter missing sex Are we all so jaded that we can’t believe she loves him and is missing the emotional connection of having someone close Even the OP said it was a long term relationship and, and he and his wife had been together since teens That said if the OP feels the risk is too high then so be it, but perhaps if that is the real reason then by the same logic it is actually safer for the daughter to move to his where only one person leaves the house daily Oh fuck it, you've swung me. Let him in OP. " Name's not down, so he ain't coming in. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think its sad the number of people that have mentioned the daughter missing sex Are we all so jaded that we can’t believe she loves him and is missing the emotional connection of having someone close Even the OP said it was a long term relationship and, and he and his wife had been together since teens That said if the OP feels the risk is too high then so be it, but perhaps if that is the real reason then by the same logic it is actually safer for the daughter to move to his where only one person leaves the house daily Totally hit the nail on the head for me with your post and her moving in with him is the only option if she was to make the wrong decision to move out. I have an inkling she's decided that her moving out or him moving in (which isn't an option) is the wrong decision either way. But yes, I totally get where she's coming from, must be like a bereavement, probably get hammered for using that word but it'll definitely feel like a loss for her. " Its hard and just because she is young her feelings and emotional needs shouldn’t be belittled, but with all the technology they should be able to stay in close contact at least and hopefully she will not hold it against you guys when you are just trying to do what you can to protect the family I imagine she wants nothing more than to curl up in the arms of someone she loves right now while going through this weird time ... those cuddles just now might just have to come from mum and dad | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |