Don’t consider myself a seasoned swinger, nor do I claim to be the best person to advise you on how to be successful with the ladies, cos fuck knows I’m not haha. But I know about etiquette, politeness, respect and looking at things from a genuine perspective. Now if you consider yourself to be an “alpha” male arrogant and all about “lads lads lads” even though you probably need to read it more than anyone, you probably won’t.
Along the lines of the fact “you learn from your mistakes” I thought I would do this post on the basis that I should be FULL of wisdom as I’ve made loads of them.
It will probably be appreciated by ladies more than blokes TBH, However I am writing this as it needs to be said NOT for “likes” or shares or anything else. I couldn’t give a flying fuck what peoples opinion of me is.
If you are at the club and the door is shut or the curtains closed leave well alone. If the door or the curtain is open watch, Fairplay verbalise you want to enter from outside “chance you’re arm” but NEVER walk in. What’s happened to common courtesy? So when you go to club and complain about no one being there you have to acknowledge that you are part of the problem and that behaviour like this contributes to single ladies and couples choosing to frequent clubs less often due to not feeling as comfortable. In simple terms unless invited fuck off “you are literally owed nothing”. If you are not part of the solution you are almost guaranteed to be part of the problem. This is about people enjoying themselves with or without others as is their prerogative during their valuable recreational time away from work children responsibilities and real life in general. Also blatantly just following one person around everywhere they go, room to room etc “you wouldn’t do it outside would you?”. In my experiences the staff are amazing and there is only so much they can do and we as members understand they are busy. Take ownership of your own behaviour and they won’t have to. Respect is the minimum expectation that we should be able to muster for another human. Knocking on closed doors, not taking heed when asked nicely or not respecting peoples personal space/boundaries - if someone’s absolute unit of a partner floors you be aware, I will say I saw nothing at all.
Just imagine whether they are a seasoned swinger or an anxious Newbie you were in a room with the door closed being in a vulnerable position and being intimate with someone you care about and a stranger just invites themselves in you don’t want to be responsible for making someone feel like this do you? If you have done it and this thought has not even occurred to you maybe you should not be in a swinging club..... just a thought..... Nobody says don’t get ratarsed, believe me I get requiring one for dutch courage, BUT if you get ratarsed and start being an annoyance don’t be surprised if people tell you that you are a cunt.... quickly
There is a difference between persuasive endeavour as you believe someone to be worth the effort, and someone being beaten down by persistent advances that they eventually do something they don’t want to just due to the fact they see no other potential outcome. I personally would rather be slept with due to the fact that a person chooses to (either for physical/ aesthetic or personality reasons) NOT due to a temporary lapse of judgement they later regret. (Which can happen regardless) but let’s try to at least minimise the likelihood.
Swinging clubs SHOULD, are CORRECT to, and will ALWAYS cater first and foremost to single ladies and couples.
If you walked into a sexclub and said hello to a lady you find attractive you would not say “hi” and then whop your schlong out, would you? So why do it online in message form?
I can hear male voices out there saying I am polite, genuine, I write messages and they don’t even get read, let alone replied to and “I get you I have been there” I thought similar things but what I would say is I get it from the single females point of view also that they get hundreds of messages every day, they have to deal with fakes, time wasters, arrogance, petulance &in worst cases outright abuse, if the percentage of potential interaction is already low due to the needless to be confirmed difference in ratio of men to women, a message which clearly shows no effort whatsoever “Hi, *insert dickpic*”, or the arduous nature of repeating themselves over and over again answering the same Q’s in various forms, it’s no surprise they lose their patience, everyone does eventually, as you did when the messages were not read..... it’s a self fulfilling prophecy unless you empathise.
NOTHING gives you the right to get abusive, why not just stop messaging them and move on?
I know I will probably get some hate for writing this but I will probably just say “thanks”  haha
Also as I found out the hard way it’s probably best not to try and locate people on other forms of social media with handles/usernames/names or details unless requested to or having asked first. As I did once through naivety, she went batshit btw (which I understand) lesson learned, I have been reliably informed this comes across as desperate/stalker-ish....
In a world consisting of a plethora of potential interactions and/or outcomes, choose to be funny, failing that at minimum be pleasant....
Toodle pip
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