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spades

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

I'm with you my friend. Can't understand how this terminology gets accepted in the fetish world when there is clearly racism around it. Same applies for 'BBC' in my opinion. Totally objectifies black people. Not fair at all

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

glad someone understands.there are a lot of weak brothers out there who have no pride in themselves x steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep im part of a cuckold couple and hate the terms bbc and queen of ... if i go with a black guy its because i fancy him no other reason as with anybody else

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By *orflondonerMan
over a year ago

Wood Green

I have been in club situations where the lady at the centre of the scene, totally destroyed it by using the BBC term.

Personally,I think the QoS term

is even worse. Some see it different though.

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By *ain and sortedMan
over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex

I'm pleased to hear this thread, I'd often thought that these terms were used in the 70s not apoeoiate then and certainly not now. there's many lovely sexy people out there regardless of there colour

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I completely agree that any term that’s taken as racist by anyone is unacceptable, how should people approach it if they do have an attraction towards a specific group of people ie white, Chinese, black etc. Just curious as to what would be deemed as acceptable not provoke a debate

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

you obviously are not intelligent enough to read between the lines .SPADE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"you obviously are not intelligent enough to read between the lines .SPADE"

Is this aimed at me?

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say"

Okay, I'll bite.

"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism".

I find that train of thought far too simplistic, a very narrow conclusion. I (he) have known a Dr on here who is a self confessed QOS, she's not racist, like I said a good friend of ours. She gets off on race play, not my thing, has the tattoos, the whole shabang. Very submissive and likes to give herself entirely to black men sexually especially in fantasy play for which I see nothing wrong with. Obviously, op, she isn't going to attract black guys the likes of you but there are black guys out there on her wavelength who she plays with, no harm done. The key factor for me is the 'fantasy' element which detaches the act from reality allowing people to explore subjects otherwise unacceptable in the real world. 'It's a fantasy' not meant to offend but it will offend those who cannot separate it from reality.

The fact you say I'm unintelligent for not accepting said person is a racist I find issue with. I have listened to their reasons and am satisfied (given my own life experiences with racism) they're as true as their word, that's my emotional intelligence talking to me. If you're talking post grad academic intelligence well, I have that too.

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

Mind you Steve, not everyone is aware the the term 'Spade' was used in a very racist way by white people towards blacks, back in the day. Especially if English is not their native language.

Further, I think no black brothers here support your arguments cause they probably think the satisfaction they get from 'black cock starved girls' is more important than their integrity and pride.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say

Okay, I'll bite.

"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism".

I find that train of thought far too simplistic, a very narrow conclusion. I (he) have known a Dr on here who is a self confessed QOS, she's not racist, like I said a good friend of ours. She gets off on race play, not my thing, has the tattoos, the whole shabang. Very submissive and likes to give herself entirely to black men sexually especially in fantasy play for which I see nothing wrong with. Obviously, op, she isn't going to attract black guys the likes of you but there are black guys out there on her wavelength who she plays with, no harm done. The key factor for me is the 'fantasy' element which detaches the act from reality allowing people to explore subjects otherwise unacceptable in the real world. 'It's a fantasy' not meant to offend but it will offend those who cannot separate it from reality.

The fact you say I'm unintelligent for not accepting said person is a racist I find issue with. I have listened to their reasons and am satisfied (given my own life experiences with racism) they're as true as their word, that's my emotional intelligence talking to me. If you're talking post grad academic intelligence well, I have that too."

Beautiful post. There are plenty of fantasies within fetish world which can be considered racist/wrong in real life. I don't see a point in calling people racist just because it offends someone.

Racism is prejudice/discrimination against people based on their race. BBC means big black cock. It doesn't mean all black men have big cocks.

Queen of spade means women who prefer black men.

Either of these do not fall under the category of racism.

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

I do not have kids but if I would, I would rather them understand that BBC stands for British Broadcasting Corporation. Any other use is just nonsense and also quite dangerous

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say

Okay, I'll bite.

"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism".

I find that train of thought far too simplistic, a very narrow conclusion. I (he) have known a Dr on here who is a self confessed QOS, she's not racist, like I said a good friend of ours. She gets off on race play, not my thing, has the tattoos, the whole shabang. Very submissive and likes to give herself entirely to black men sexually especially in fantasy play for which I see nothing wrong with. Obviously, op, she isn't going to attract black guys the likes of you but there are black guys out there on her wavelength who she plays with, no harm done. The key factor for me is the 'fantasy' element which detaches the act from reality allowing people to explore subjects otherwise unacceptable in the real world. 'It's a fantasy' not meant to offend but it will offend those who cannot separate it from reality.

The fact you say I'm unintelligent for not accepting said person is a racist I find issue with. I have listened to their reasons and am satisfied (given my own life experiences with racism) they're as true as their word, that's my emotional intelligence talking to me. If you're talking post grad academic intelligence well, I have that too.

Beautiful post. There are plenty of fantasies within fetish world which can be considered racist/wrong in real life. I don't see a point in calling people racist just because it offends someone.

Racism is prejudice/discrimination against people based on their race. BBC means big black cock. It doesn't mean all black men have big cocks.

Queen of spade means women who prefer black men.

Either of these do not fall under the category of racism."

So eloquently put (both posters).

OP: there’s no intention by most people when using those terms to be racist or discriminative. It’s what some people like to use. Just like how some women love to be called sluts, bitches, etc. during sexual play. There’s no intention to be abusive, as long as it’s consensual and kept within the fetish scene.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

so mrmakemeacuck black men are refered to as spades and that's cool

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE "

And your brain thought it was useful to spend time finding terms which people find offensive in the fetish scene while there are bigger problems faced by these people in real world? What's the difference?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive genuinely never heard of the term spade in reference to black people. If historically this has been used in a derogatory towards block people then I’ve to sympathise with the OP.

Don’t think it’s racist for one race to be attracted to another tho

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By *ovejay711Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

Well said!!

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE "
. Do you think it’s possible that the younger generation do not know that spade is a English term for for black people. I grew up watching Minder , The Sweeney and The Proffesionals and it was used in those programs and even now when repeated on ITV4 they don’t edit those words out which I think is wrong there is no place for that word in society then and no place in society for it now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had sex with black men and it's because I found them attractive. Racism is real but only when the user means to offend or when the recipient is offended.

Use in fantasy role plays is not racist, it's a way for people to be free with their wants, needs and desires. If that offends then you dont need to be apart of that roleplay/fantasy and look for someone more on your wavelength.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE . Do you think it’s possible that the younger generation do not know that spade is a English term for for black people. I grew up watching Minder , The Sweeney and The Proffesionals and it was used in those programs and even now when repeated on ITV4 they don’t edit those words out which I think is wrong there is no place for that word in society then and no place in society for it now."

Censoring words never solved any problems. It only creates more problems. How about removing the terms "blacklist" or associating the word "dark" with things that are bad? If you go down that slope, you will only end up removing the words from dictionary while the real problems still persist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE . Do you think it’s possible that the younger generation do not know that spade is a English term for for black people. I grew up watching Minder , The Sweeney and The Proffesionals and it was used in those programs and even now when repeated on ITV4 they don’t edit those words out which I think is wrong there is no place for that word in society then and no place in society for it now.

Censoring words never solved any problems. It only creates more problems. How about removing the terms "blacklist" or associating the word "dark" with things that are bad? If you go down that slope, you will only end up removing the words from dictionary while the real problems still persist."

While I don't like censorship, picking out words that are slurs and censoring them is okay. Words like 'dark' and 'blacklist' are typically neutral in that they aren't attributed to an individual. Awareness is the key to this I feel and most people who know a word has negative connotations know not to use them.

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

To this I will agree with you my friend.

Please don't take offence but I use the word 'niggah' with my white friends instead of 'mate' or 'pal'. In front of a black friend I would probably never use it. Isn't this stupid?

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

that's right costa. And I repeat here so Steve knows that I only found out that 'Spade' was a racist word just a fe weeks ago. I was raised in Greece you see so how would I possibly know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got to be honest never heard the expression but it does sound a tad ill thought out

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

Nothing wrong with that of course. However if you look at cuckolding porn with black bulls doing the white hotwife, most of them come from the US states where slavery was big and segregation was intense even during recent years [kentucky, alabama, carolina etc]

So I think there is some degree of connection between interracial sex and racism. Therefore we need to be cautious in order not to cross the line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nothing wrong with that of course. However if you look at cuckolding porn with black bulls doing the white hotwife, most of them come from the US states where slavery was big and segregation was intense even during recent years [kentucky, alabama, carolina etc]

So I think there is some degree of connection between interracial sex and racism. Therefore we need to be cautious in order not to cross the line.

"

Think your sentiments are well intentioned but think your over thinking it. In what context do you link interracial cuckold and racism?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting post. Would like to mention we had to block the op as he regular bombarded us with messages to meet. As you can see from our pics Mrs reg puts the ace of spades tattoo on when she is out. We find it fun in ‘normal bars’ to see what attention she can get from it. I’ve seen real racism on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think some of you should stick to shagging your brain obviously doesn't work SPADE IS A ENGLISH TERM FOR BLACK PEOPLE . Do you think it’s possible that the younger generation do not know that spade is a English term for for black people. I grew up watching Minder , The Sweeney and The Proffesionals and it was used in those programs and even now when repeated on ITV4 they don’t edit those words out which I think is wrong there is no place for that word in society then and no place in society for it now.

Censoring words never solved any problems. It only creates more problems. How about removing the terms "blacklist" or associating the word "dark" with things that are bad? If you go down that slope, you will only end up removing the words from dictionary while the real problems still persist.

While I don't like censorship, picking out words that are slurs and censoring them is okay. Words like 'dark' and 'blacklist' are typically neutral in that they aren't attributed to an individual. Awareness is the key to this I feel and most people who know a word has negative connotations know not to use them."

I understand that. But there is a problem with it. Who decides which words to censor? Even spade is a neutral word. 'Calling spade a spade' is a line regularly used by people which is actually a slur in itself. You feel that 'blacklist' is ok. I have known people who get angry with that term. Even master/slave terminology in fetish scene could be seen as derogatory and some people could take offense out of it. This is a completely subjective matter. Different people find different things offensive. The best thing to do it if someone finds something I say offensive and tells me they are finding it offensive, I won't speak those words to that person. I still have the right to use it with others. In public platforms, you are given controls to block someone who speaks things which are offensive to you. Going down the route of censorship will open up a can of worms.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say"

a).... sorry didn't get the memo that the "black brothers" had to be online all the time to answer every single thread...

b) if you put "spade" into the search box, you see that its been discussed... alot!!!

you aren't the first, you wont be the last!!!!

me.... people know my views, I'm done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting post. Would like to mention we had to block the op as he regular bombarded us with messages to meet. As you can see from our pics Mrs reg puts the ace of spades tattoo on when she is out. We find it fun in ‘normal bars’ to see what attention she can get from it. I’ve seen real racism on fab "

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

ok maybe it is a bit of an over-analysis, but I think that the fetish some whites may have with black people roots from the slavery era where it was a huge taboo a white woman to date a black man. [while in the meantime white colonialists would abuse black women like there is no tomorrow]

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Interesting post. Would like to mention we had to block the op as he regular bombarded us with messages to meet. As you can see from our pics Mrs reg puts the ace of spades tattoo on when she is out. We find it fun in ‘normal bars’ to see what attention she can get from it. I’ve seen real racism on fab "

I've see real racism on fab as well... the all time classic being a couple that said that not only did they not been black people, but would also not meet with people who had verifications from black people!

okay... now i'll bite... a little...

lets have a conversation...

what if i was to say, that the irony is by wearing it you are putting off a lot of the very people that you are potentially looking for.... in essence you are cutting your own potential talent pool

how would you feel.... just curious...

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"that's right costa. And I repeat here so Steve knows that I only found out that 'Spade' was a racist word just a fe weeks ago. I was raised in Greece you see so how would I possibly know?"
. I can understand you been raised in another country and thinking that a word means one thing when in fact it can have more than one meaning.

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

I started a thread on this a while back, just titled qos so worth checking that as some folk dont respond to same type threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok maybe it is a bit of an over-analysis, but I think that the fetish some whites may have with black people roots from the slavery era where it was a huge taboo a white woman to date a black man. [while in the meantime white colonialists would abuse black women like there is no tomorrow]"

That's true. Many fetishes have such reasons behind it. A similar explanation could be given for femdom fetish too. But in the end, its a fetish. As long as there is consent between the people involved, I don't see a problem with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Interesting post. Would like to mention we had to block the op as he regular bombarded us with messages to meet. As you can see from our pics Mrs reg puts the ace of spades tattoo on when she is out. We find it fun in ‘normal bars’ to see what attention she can get from it. I’ve seen real racism on fab

I've see real racism on fab as well... the all time classic being a couple that said that not only did they not been black people, but would also not meet with people who had verifications from black people!

okay... now i'll bite... a little...

lets have a conversation...

what if i was to say, that the irony is by wearing it you are putting off a lot of the very people that you are potentially looking for.... in essence you are cutting your own potential talent pool

how would you feel.... just curious...

"
without sounding big headed we don’t swing much but Mrs is never short of offers when the tattoo is on and showing. I am a mixed race guy too for the record.

We mean no offence to anyone just to be clear. Like I said earlier the op had to be blocked as he bombarded us with messages. I don’t think he is to offended do you?

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

I agree with you. In regards to Femdom, we need a separate thread to analyse that! LoL

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By *oulioCouple
over a year ago

London Islington

I have to say the OP messaged us as well, but not in a sexual or rude way at all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people "

But you met and played with queenofspades123 and verified it was meet you're looking forward to repeating. Did you not have an issue then, OP?

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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people

But you met and played with queenofspades123 and verified it was meet you're looking forward to repeating. Did you not have an issue then, OP?"

The irony you are right also someone who attended chocolate parties? I would say that terminology is border line racist too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people

But you met and played with queenofspades123 and verified it was meet you're looking forward to repeating. Did you not have an issue then, OP?

The irony you are right also someone who attended chocolate parties? I would say that terminology is border line racist too. "

Gone quiet now he has been pulled up on his inconsistency

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

i was going to say i agree with the last couple of posts...

If you are going to pull people up on it OP, than you have practice what you preach!!!

at the moment... the "moral high ground" aint with ya, dare i say you are looking like a bit of a hypocrite.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i was going to say i agree with the last couple of posts...

If you are going to pull people up on it OP, than you have practice what you preach!!!

at the moment... the "moral high ground" aint with ya, dare i say you are looking like a bit of a hypocrite..... "

End of forum discussion......Next.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people

But you met and played with queenofspades123 and verified it was meet you're looking forward to repeating. Did you not have an issue then, OP?

The irony you are right also someone who attended chocolate parties? I would say that terminology is border line racist too. "
not if it was cadburys give him a break have a kitkat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"well this certainly touched a few .id just like to say whatever your colour or race learn your history about yourself .learn about the rights and the wrongsdifferent races do.im intelligent enough to see any form of racism .depends how deep you want to go .and this is from someone who is challenged in finding a cure for this virus as a toxicologist and medicine developer .stay safe people

But you met and played with queenofspades123 and verified it was meet you're looking forward to repeating. Did you not have an issue then, OP?

The irony you are right also someone who attended chocolate parties? I would say that terminology is border line racist too.

Gone quiet now he has been pulled up on his inconsistency "

And hidden all his verifications. Think you guys touched a nerve

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

At first I could understand what the OP was trying to say and even though using the word the in the forum title is not the word I would use to describe a black guy if someone wants to use it in their profile name and other black guys don’t have a problem with it If a lady wants to use it as part of her profile name then I am not going to argue after all this site to my way of thinking is about turning fantasy into reality , preference , and respecting other members choices.However as the thread has gone on it appears that the OP is one of the guys that he felt was unintelligent to recognise racism.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"

Gone quiet now he has been pulled up on his inconsistency

And hidden all his verifications. Think you guys touched a nerve"

in which case i will go one further than what i said earlier....

since this was his reaction to being called out, rather than holding his hand up and explaining, that is a Weasel move!

sorry... calling it like i see it.... weasel!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

mr Gateshead say your peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"mr Gateshead say your peace"
wye aye mon

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"yep im part of a cuckold couple and hate the terms bbc and queen of ... if i go with a black guy its because i fancy him no other reason as with anybody else"

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say

Okay, I'll bite.

"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism".

I find that train of thought far too simplistic, a very narrow conclusion. I (he) have known a Dr on here who is a self confessed QOS, she's not racist, like I said a good friend of ours. She gets off on race play, not my thing, has the tattoos, the whole shabang. Very submissive and likes to give herself entirely to black men sexually especially in fantasy play for which I see nothing wrong with. Obviously, op, she isn't going to attract black guys the likes of you but there are black guys out there on her wavelength who she plays with, no harm done. The key factor for me is the 'fantasy' element which detaches the act from reality allowing people to explore subjects otherwise unacceptable in the real world. 'It's a fantasy' not meant to offend but it will offend those who cannot separate it from reality.

The fact you say I'm unintelligent for not accepting said person is a racist I find issue with. I have listened to their reasons and am satisfied (given my own life experiences with racism) they're as true as their word, that's my emotional intelligence talking to me. If you're talking post grad academic intelligence well, I have that too."

Personally I think the problem arises when such terms are accepted into mainstream lingo..suddenly all black men are commoditised, reduced to the BBC (Big Black Cock), and the white women who like them as Queens of Spades-wow!

Totally get how in an intimate situation the fetish can be attractive and compelling but there are too many witless observers who think it's ok to stereotype all black men and all white women who have an interest in them that way. I blame American porn!!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"

BBC means big black cock. It doesn't mean all black men have big cocks.

Queen of spade means women who prefer black men.

Either of these do not fall under the category of racism."

But increasingly the term BBC is used to describe the man, not his genitalia.

I remember an hilarious post where a black guy had messaged a couple who stated they weren't looking for "BBC", he asked if he'd be ok as he had a small cock..the couple weren't bright enough to get the joke

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"mr Gateshead say your peace"

i did.. which was if you aren't practicing what you are preaching to others... then why should anyone listen to you?

glass houses and all that!

you (rightly) got called out.... your response to being called out was to pretend all the evidence didn't exist!

thats a BS move..... sorry... but it is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"thank you guys notice not one black brother has something to say

Okay, I'll bite.

"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism".

I find that train of thought far too simplistic, a very narrow conclusion. I (he) have known a Dr on here who is a self confessed QOS, she's not racist, like I said a good friend of ours. She gets off on race play, not my thing, has the tattoos, the whole shabang. Very submissive and likes to give herself entirely to black men sexually especially in fantasy play for which I see nothing wrong with. Obviously, op, she isn't going to attract black guys the likes of you but there are black guys out there on her wavelength who she plays with, no harm done. The key factor for me is the 'fantasy' element which detaches the act from reality allowing people to explore subjects otherwise unacceptable in the real world. 'It's a fantasy' not meant to offend but it will offend those who cannot separate it from reality.

The fact you say I'm unintelligent for not accepting said person is a racist I find issue with. I have listened to their reasons and am satisfied (given my own life experiences with racism) they're as true as their word, that's my emotional intelligence talking to me. If you're talking post grad academic intelligence well, I have that too.

Beautiful post. There are plenty of fantasies within fetish world which can be considered racist/wrong in real life. I don't see a point in calling people racist just because it offends someone.

Racism is prejudice/discrimination against people based on their race. BBC means big black cock. It doesn't mean all black men have big cocks.

Queen of spade means women who prefer black men.

Either of these do not fall under the category of racism.

So eloquently put (both posters).

OP: there’s no intention by most people when using those terms to be racist or discriminative. It’s what some people like to use. Just like how some women love to be called sluts, bitches, etc. during sexual play. There’s no intention to be abusive, as long as it’s consensual and kept within the fetish scene."

It's not intentional, but racism doesn't have to be, it can be subtle, discreet and unintended, but I do wonder whether the people who express their preference in this way aren't mortified when the negative aspects of it are pointed out to them, the usual response is that their right to express their preference how they want trumps polite discourse!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"I have had sex with black men and it's because I found them attractive. Racism is real but only when the user means to offend or when the recipient is offended.

Use in fantasy role plays is not racist, it's a way for people to be free with their wants, needs and desires. If that offends then you dont need to be apart of that roleplay/fantasy and look for someone more on your wavelength. "

But some people get offended when the negative aspects of these phrases is pointed out.

By the way I don't believe racism exists only when someone means to cause offence.

Through my life I've often made inadvertently inappropriate references to people of various persuasions, but more than happy to change my language when this has been pointed out, why would anyone want to dig their heels in when something is considered offensive? I dont get it!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. "

... because subconsciously that's the antithesis of what they want in real life

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???"

PS I'm in a similar position to you, my hubby's black but it's incidental to who he is as a human being..he isn't a BBC, a sexual play thing nor does he laugh like Ainsley!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

I always thought the queen of spades was an indication of being submissive and nothing to do with race?

If i had a pound for every time i heard the word ebony....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Gone quiet now he has been pulled up on his inconsistency

And hidden all his verifications. Think you guys touched a nerve

in which case i will go one further than what i said earlier....

since this was his reaction to being called out, rather than holding his hand up and explaining, that is a Weasel move!

sorry... calling it like i see it.... weasel! "

If anything he is the exact reason why racism still exist. He used the race card to provoke anger in others when there was no need to. I am 100% supportive of equal rights for but people like him is what drives racism

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By *ommenhimCouple
over a year ago

wigan


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

Sorry was this a question? A statement? Your black brothers might not understand the post!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

PS I'm in a similar position to you, my hubby's black but it's incidental to who he is as a human being..he isn't a BBC, a sexual play thing nor does he laugh like Ainsley! "

I guess as it’s just the norm for us we don’t get the fetish/kink thing. I find the QoS tattoo thing just cringy I mean ffs lol

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"

If anything he is the exact reason why racism still exist. He used the race card to provoke anger in others when there was no need to. I am 100% supportive of equal rights for but people like him is what drives racism "

"He is the exact reason why racism still exists"?

Really? I don't believe you are 100% supportive of equal rights by making a crass statement like that.

His thread may be ill conceived, he may be a troll, but racism exists only in the minds and actions of racists-there's little that contributes to that way of thinking, it's like blaming women who have disagreeable opinions for the proliferation of domestic abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/04/20 08:26:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???"

Sexual preference is not objectification. Some people have one set of expectations when it comes to emotional relationships and a different set of expectations when it comes to sex. For them, these expectations are so incompatible that it is hard to find a person who is both. I have known women who want a man who takes lead in family life and controls everything. But the same women want to keep in touch with their dominant side on bed. They normally have a relationship with one guy while having fun with other submissive guys. I have talked with men whose relationships failed because they chose their partners purely based on their sexual needs and later found that they were not emotionally compatible.

So being a partner of a white guy while looking for sex with a black guy is neither hypocrisy nor objectification. They just know how to differentiate their sexual and emotional needs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have had sex with black men and it's because I found them attractive. Racism is real but only when the user means to offend or when the recipient is offended.

Use in fantasy role plays is not racist, it's a way for people to be free with their wants, needs and desires. If that offends then you dont need to be apart of that roleplay/fantasy and look for someone more on your wavelength.

But some people get offended when the negative aspects of these phrases is pointed out.

By the way I don't believe racism exists only when someone means to cause offence.

Through my life I've often made inadvertently inappropriate references to people of various persuasions, but more than happy to change my language when this has been pointed out, why would anyone want to dig their heels in when something is considered offensive? I dont get it!"

I believe racism exists only if it is meant to cause offense. If you go down the path of what other people consider offensive, there will be no end to it. Hindus consider cows as holy and take offense if it is associated to anything bad. So we should stop using the words "holy cow" and "bullshit"?

As I told in my earlier post, if I want to talk to a person and that person tells me they find some word offensive, I won't speak that word to that person. But I can speak that same word to people who don't find it offensive. If someone finds too many things offensive that it bothers me, I just stop talking to that person. I value my freedom of speech. Also that person has the right to stop talking to me or just block me if it on an online platform. That's their freedom.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

Brothers?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

Sexual preference is not objectification. Some people have one set of expectations when it comes to emotional relationships and a different set of expectations when it comes to sex. For them, these expectations are so incompatible that it is hard to find a person who is both. I have known women who want a man who takes lead in family life and controls everything. But the same women want to keep in touch with their dominant side on bed. They normally have a relationship with one guy while having fun with other submissive guys. I have talked with men whose relationships failed because they chose their partners purely based on their sexual needs and later found that they were not emotionally compatible.

So being a partner of a white guy while looking for sex with a black guy is neither hypocrisy nor objectification. They just know how to differentiate their sexual and emotional needs"

that’s your take/opinion on the subject, we all have a view

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

Sexual preference is not objectification. Some people have one set of expectations when it comes to emotional relationships and a different set of expectations when it comes to sex. For them, these expectations are so incompatible that it is hard to find a person who is both. I have known women who want a man who takes lead in family life and controls everything. But the same women want to keep in touch with their dominant side on bed. They normally have a relationship with one guy while having fun with other submissive guys. I have talked with men whose relationships failed because they chose their partners purely based on their sexual needs and later found that they were not emotionally compatible.

So being a partner of a white guy while looking for sex with a black guy is neither hypocrisy nor objectification. They just know how to differentiate their sexual and emotional needs

that’s your take/opinion on the subject, we all have a view "

I guess it's like guys who go to BBW nights to fuck fat women, but don't date them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

The playing cards symbol usually with a 'Q' above or inside. It connotes white women with a sexual preference for black men. It can be seen on tee shirts or even as a tatoo. Also a way for a white woman to let potential black lovers know she is available.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

Sexual preference is not objectification. Some people have one set of expectations when it comes to emotional relationships and a different set of expectations when it comes to sex. For them, these expectations are so incompatible that it is hard to find a person who is both. I have known women who want a man who takes lead in family life and controls everything. But the same women want to keep in touch with their dominant side on bed. They normally have a relationship with one guy while having fun with other submissive guys. I have talked with men whose relationships failed because they chose their partners purely based on their sexual needs and later found that they were not emotionally compatible.

So being a partner of a white guy while looking for sex with a black guy is neither hypocrisy nor objectification. They just know how to differentiate their sexual and emotional needs

that’s your take/opinion on the subject, we all have a view

I guess it's like guys who go to BBW nights to fuck fat women, but don't date them. "

exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

The playing cards symbol usually with a 'Q' above or inside. It connotes white women with a sexual preference for black men. It can be seen on tee shirts or even as a tatoo. Also a way for a white woman to let potential black lovers know she is available."

Yes we are all aware of that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism

OMG don’t even get me started on this! I have soooo many debates with my bf about this subject. Yes I am white, bf is black (and so has every other partner before him been) never would I consider referring to myself as QoS or such. I say to bf I can’t understand in particular older white women (with their husbands or partners) going to clubs seeking out BBC (I say that sarcastically as I hate that term). If they desire a black man so much why not be with one. Why do some black guys allow themselves to be seen as a fetish or an object almost ?! Perhaps I don’t get it as it’s not anything new or exotic to me ???

Sexual preference is not objectification. Some people have one set of expectations when it comes to emotional relationships and a different set of expectations when it comes to sex. For them, these expectations are so incompatible that it is hard to find a person who is both. I have known women who want a man who takes lead in family life and controls everything. But the same women want to keep in touch with their dominant side on bed. They normally have a relationship with one guy while having fun with other submissive guys. I have talked with men whose relationships failed because they chose their partners purely based on their sexual needs and later found that they were not emotionally compatible.

So being a partner of a white guy while looking for sex with a black guy is neither hypocrisy nor objectification. They just know how to differentiate their sexual and emotional needs

that’s your take/opinion on the subject, we all have a view "

I just explained you the view of people who you were questioning. As always, live and let live.

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Im still concerned about this "brothers" term. It's rather exclusive/xenophobic/patriarchal. Would it be ok for white men to have a similar term that excludes race and sex?

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Im still concerned about this "brothers" term. It's rather exclusive/xenophobic/patriarchal. Would it be ok for white men to have a similar term that excludes race and sex?"

Yes it's called a golf club!

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth


"Im still concerned about this "brothers" term. It's rather exclusive/xenophobic/patriarchal. Would it be ok for white men to have a similar term that excludes race and sex?"

Don't be the term brother or any other seniority/respect term is used a lot in black/African culture usually to refer to someone older. A lot of African/Arab/Asian culture might see it as disrespectful for someone younger, to refer to them by their name without some form of seniority attach before the name.

Power tripping but that is the culture so bro, brother, boss, aunt, just flow in English culture I suppose "mate" will be the equivalent. Although mate will not go in African culture because they value status and seniority which is silly but understandable.

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"Im still concerned about this "brothers" term. It's rather exclusive/xenophobic/patriarchal. Would it be ok for white men to have a similar term that excludes race and sex?"

Not a fan of it, I almost addressed it in my original reply. He's not my brother, the only thing I have in common is skin colour and a shared experience of racism to whatever extent that is, apart from that nothing in common at all. The only strangers I have something in common with are those in my local community regardless of race where we have a common dialect, culture and customs, but still not brothers.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

—They value status and seniority with disregard to competence which is silly but understandable.— [my post above]


"what is it with this queen of spades .my fellow black brothers who are so unintelligent to recognise racism"

Tonality and body language is the key not the word also context not the content.

Not everything is for everybody, trying to make other conform to your point of view is not going to happen because we are all different with different needs.

The term racism is thrown around to much for things that are not even close to racism. Racism = superiority and a believe so and race is better than so and so race. If you even look at the queen of spade thing could that be saying white [women] are submissive to black [men]. Surely that will be more racist on the white person side. it's all confusing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think people are reading far to much into this now!

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"—

The term racism is thrown around to much for things that are not even close to racism. Racism = superiority and a believe so and race is better than so and so race. If you even look at the queen of spade thing could that be saying white [women] are submissive to black [men]. Surely that will be more racist on the white person side. it's all confusing.

"

Forgive me but are you aware of the historical context of the word 'spade'?

If some posters are saying it's a deeply offensive term then why can't that be accepted rather than attempts to crassly justify it?

Incidentally you're not in a position to state what is and isn't racist anymore than I am, it's a subjective thing, but it's perfectly possible to state a sexual preference without relying on words and phrases that resonate so negatively with a large group of people, that's how society develops for the common good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"—

The term racism is thrown around to much for things that are not even close to racism. Racism = superiority and a believe so and race is better than so and so race. If you even look at the queen of spade thing could that be saying white [women] are submissive to black [men]. Surely that will be more racist on the white person side. it's all confusing.

Forgive me but are you aware of the historical context of the word 'spade'?

If some posters are saying it's a deeply offensive term then why can't that be accepted rather than attempts to crassly justify it?

Incidentally you're not in a position to state what is and isn't racist anymore than I am, it's a subjective thing, but it's perfectly possible to state a sexual preference without relying on words and phrases that resonate so negatively with a large group of people, that's how society develops for the common good."

No society has ever developed by censorship.

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