FabSwingers.com forum: friends with an ex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Evening everyone just wondered how everyone felt about the subject of being friends with an ex, I broke up with an ex at Christmas she still wants to be friends but it feels weird to me whether that's down to me still having feelings for her or not I don't know, anyone else been in the same prediciment

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm still friends with my ex, we've been apart for over 5 years and he has asked relationship advise from me, and no we don't have any kids together so there are no ties that keep us together, just that I know he would do anything for me and I would for him as well, just that the lust/love was no longer there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm friends on facebook with an old ex of mine (yes Andy knows) and I ended up better friends with my ex husband after we divorced. It takes a while to get over the initial shock of splitting but I don't think there's any reason not to stay friends. We all make enough enemies in this world without making one of someone we once cared for.

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By *mm_n_ZedCouple
over a year ago

Fareham

"I'm friends on facebook with an old ex of mine (yes Andy knows) and I ended up better friends with my ex husband after we divorced. It takes a while to get over the initial shock of splitting but I don't think there's any reason not to stay friends. We all make enough enemies in this world without making one of someone we once cared for.

Fantastic attitude

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just don't know if I can be friends I have feelings for her that I know she doesn't for me, so maybe it takes time or I need to stop being a wimp

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remained friends with my ex till the day she died at the age of 39.

Both myself and Mrs Red kept in touch with her and visited her all through the days of her illnes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex is probably my closest and most trusted friend.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My ex is probably my closest and most trusted friend. "

Don't get me wrong I do wanna be friends I just find it hard ya know

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"My ex is probably my closest and most trusted friend.

Don't get me wrong I do wanna be friends I just find it hard ya know"

Then you have to think long and hard about why you find it hard.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very true

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By *ssexguy69Man
over a year ago

thurrock Essex

im freinds with my ex but only for boys sake , dont wana jump into bed with here again

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

i dont have any feelings, good or bad, for my ex.

she did what she did, and she obviously had reason to do so.

she is now with the guy she cheated on me with and all power to them.

maybe i would feel differently if i were still single or not as happy as i am, but i cant say either way.

friends? i dont mind, but Em cant see why i would want to be.

she has to see her ex for the kids, but hates any contact with him (probably because he is a douche) so i WOULD be friends with my ex, but not close enough to spend time with, more be curtious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i dont have any feelings, good or bad, for my ex.

she did what she did, and she obviously had reason to do so.

she is now with the guy she cheated on me with and all power to them.

maybe i would feel differently if i were still single or not as happy as i am, but i cant say either way.

friends? i dont mind, but Em cant see why i would want to be.

she has to see her ex for the kids, but hates any contact with him (probably because he is a douche) so i WOULD be friends with my ex, but not close enough to spend time with, more be curtious"

I just wanna get over her so I can be friends that way I can be happy for her I just think maybe I need more time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening everyone just wondered how everyone felt about the subject of being friends with an ex, I broke up with an ex at Christmas she still wants to be friends but it feels weird to me whether that's down to me still having feelings for her or not I don't know, anyone else been in the same prediciment

I've remained friends with a couple of my exs - often the most trouble has come from subsequent girlfriends who can't understand or cope with the friendship. For me, however, if it has ended well, I see no reason why a friendship can be pursued after a reasonable amount of time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tell my ex everything. Nothing to loose anymore. Funny wish I could have been as open when we were together, maybe we would still be together, sex 5 times a day, didn't realise how lucky I was then.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"i dont have any feelings, good or bad, for my ex.

she did what she did, and she obviously had reason to do so.

she is now with the guy she cheated on me with and all power to them.

maybe i would feel differently if i were still single or not as happy as i am, but i cant say either way.

friends? i dont mind, but Em cant see why i would want to be.

she has to see her ex for the kids, but hates any contact with him (probably because he is a douche) so i WOULD be friends with my ex, but not close enough to spend time with, more be curtious

I just wanna get over her so I can be friends that way I can be happy for her I just think maybe I need more time "

you can be happy for her without being friends, fella.

just move on.

dont live in the past and accept she no longer wants you.

tbf its unfair of her to ask you to be friends.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"My ex is probably my closest and most trusted friend. "

Same here...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i dont have any feelings, good or bad, for my ex.

she did what she did, and she obviously had reason to do so.

she is now with the guy she cheated on me with and all power to them.

maybe i would feel differently if i were still single or not as happy as i am, but i cant say either way.

friends? i dont mind, but Em cant see why i would want to be.

she has to see her ex for the kids, but hates any contact with him (probably because he is a douche) so i WOULD be friends with my ex, but not close enough to spend time with, more be curtious

I just wanna get over her so I can be friends that way I can be happy for her I just think maybe I need more time

you can be happy for her without being friends, fella.

just move on.

dont live in the past and accept she no longer wants you.

tbf its unfair of her to ask you to be friends."

Thanks for you advice people

appreciate it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get back together and go to swingers clubs. Its much cheaper than going single. Tell her you'll pretend shes beautiful for two minutes if she goes. You never know. She might like it.

Also ask yourself - do you honestly think you are going to get good advice on a swingers website???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still very close to mine, well i am every time i walk over the patio anyway

Seriously though, I'm still friends with all mine. Just because you are no longer in a relationship doesn't mean you have to start hating each other, could never understand that. Bitterness is damaging for all involved, steer clear of it at all costs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get my exs. Those ive tried to be nice to or walk away from turned bitter towards me.

Those ive been bitter with wanted me back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok... My exes r exes 4 a reason & while I bear them no Ill will I certainly don't feel the need 2 have them actively in my life! Obviously I speak 2 & can chat 2 my sons father, but only in regards my son I certainly don't discuss my relationship wit J wit him!! U can't hav ur cake & eat it! Nor wud I want 2... Just seems crazy 2 me...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for me once something is done its done and i would prefer never to have contact again. unfortuntely one of my exs i have children with but i do know at some point i won't have to speak to him and will be glad when that happens. i like clean breaks xxx

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

Im guessing that you nare still at that not accepted that its over stage,concentrate on yourself and learn to feel good about yourself agin,enjoy the best aspects of being single. If you feel good about yourself and you ever do resurrct the friendship it wont then be from a deficit perspective mourning what you have lost. And if you are out there and enjoying yourself and feeking good about yourself youll be more attractive anyway so win,win,

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Get back together and go to swingers clubs. Its much cheaper than going single. Tell her you'll pretend shes beautiful for two minutes if she goes. You never know. She might like it.

Also ask yourself - do you honestly think you are going to get good advice on a swingers website???

short sighted AND narrow minded

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Get back together and go to swingers clubs. Its much cheaper than going single. Tell her you'll pretend shes beautiful for two minutes if she goes. You never know. She might like it.

Also ask yourself - do you honestly think you are going to get good advice on a swingers website???

yes...they are highly likely too, given that there are a wide range of people from different backgrounds, and many couples in long term sucessful relationships.

Couldnt think of a better place to ask

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By *agavulinMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

You clearly still have feelings for her. You need to move on mate. Stay back and forget about her. Only then, when you're over it, you can be friends. It takes time, it can take years.

I'm divorced. Am I friends with my ex? There is no straight answer to that. I spent a decade with her, I spent a decade with her family and her friends and I have no reason throwing all this away. I had great times with all of them.

I organised a party not long ago for all the 'ex' including ex-mother-in-law, ex-father-in-law, ex... and we all had a ball.

But as I said, it takes long time to get to this stage. From what you're saying, you're clearly hurt. Forget about her, leave it. When you're completely over it, you can then decide whether you want to be her friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm still friends with exes, although not as close as I used to be. If you want to be friends, then be friends, if you don't then walk away. It's your choice and you need to do what makes you happy. Maybe give yourself a bit of time and distance, and then decide...if she cares enough to be your friend then she'll understand you needing to have a bit of space to figure things out x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Get back together and go to swingers clubs. Its much cheaper than going single. Tell her you'll pretend shes beautiful for two minutes if she goes. You never know. She might like it.

Also ask yourself - do you honestly think you are going to get good advice on a swingers website???

short sighted AND narrow minded"

Plus plain nasty.

I've seen some good advice offered by people on here on subjects ranging from "women's problems" to the death of a child. We may be swingers but we're human beings first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest, I Think there have been some really good insightful answers on here. Very honest and open, especially from the guys on here.

Even swingers have had their hearts broken and have past regrets and hidden feelings about someone, so your comment about the swingers site is highly unfair.

I had been married for 8 years and we both married really young. I was 21, she was 18.

We undervalued each other and didn't have the respect for each other that a married couple should have, so i behaved in a way that a married man shouldn't and was very stupid.

After we divorced, we both managed to reignite what was lost and appreciated each other more. We could be totally open and honest about everything and we were as one again.

Sometimes, when a relationship breaks, it is important to analyse what went wrong and why. No amount of trying can rectify the past, but the future can be altered between two people with just a little consideration.

When 2 people fall in love, a strong connection is formed, so why let that bond break just because the relationship breaks down.

I think exes can make the best friends, because you have been through so much together and understand each other more than anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been friends with my ex for 13 year, She's Sharons best m8 also now.

I must admit though, I have known her since I was 19 so going on 23 year.

Tony

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"To be honest, I Think there have been some really good insightful answers on here. Very honest and open, especially from the guys on here.

Even swingers have had their hearts broken and have past regrets and hidden feelings about someone, so your comment about the swingers site is highly unfair.

I had been married for 8 years and we both married really young. I was 21, she was 18.

We undervalued each other and didn't have the respect for each other that a married couple should have, so i behaved in a way that a married man shouldn't and was very stupid.

After we divorced, we both managed to reignite what was lost and appreciated each other more. We could be totally open and honest about everything and we were as one again.

When 2 people fall in love, a strong connection is formed, so why let that bond break just because the relationship breaks down.

I think exes can make the best friends, because you have been through so much together and understand each other more than anything."

I agree with you.

Our son died and we didn't grieve together and ended up resenting each other. I left with our daughter's and my husband had a mental breakdown.

He got through it as I moved just four miles away and he could still see the girls, take them to school etc.

Our kids have never had a open evening, college/uni visit, birthday without both of us being there. Until last year when he moved into his mums home to look after her we spent August bank holiday as a family and our girls are 20, 24 and 29.

I suppose because neither of us cheated, we were equally to "blame" for the demise of our marriage it's easier to remain good friends with animosity.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am friends with my most recent ex, get on very well.

Also friends with past ex girlfriends, been out for dinner and or drinks with them over recent months.

But, we remain friends because it suits us both. (In all cases), if one is not comfortable then it is probably best to part ways on good terms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It all depends on how the relationship ended.

If lying and cheating was involved don't waste your time with her. Friendships like relationships are based on trust and respect.

Saying that life is to short to hate.

Best way to look at is that there are over 7 billion people in the world a plentiful choice of friends out there.

She has her reasons for wanting to remain friends and likely its for her benefit not yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest, I Think there have been some really good insightful answers on here. Very honest and open, especially from the guys on here.

Even swingers have had their hearts broken and have past regrets and hidden feelings about someone, so your comment about the swingers site is highly unfair.

I had been married for 8 years and we both married really young. I was 21, she was 18.

We undervalued each other and didn't have the respect for each other that a married couple should have, so i behaved in a way that a married man shouldn't and was very stupid.

After we divorced, we both managed to reignite what was lost and appreciated each other more. We could be totally open and honest about everything and we were as one again.

When 2 people fall in love, a strong connection is formed, so why let that bond break just because the relationship breaks down.

I think exes can make the best friends, because you have been through so much together and understand each other more than anything.

I agree with you.

Our son died and we didn't grieve together and ended up resenting each other. I left with our daughter's and my husband had a mental breakdown.

He got through it as I moved just four miles away and he could still see the girls, take them to school etc.

I suppose because neither of us cheated, we were equally to "blame" for the demise of our marriage it's easier to remain good friends with animosity."

It's nice that you spent the holiday together. Something you both probably thought impossible at one point.

Funny how the brain works sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some good points. But why is it likely that it's just for her benefit? Maybe she really likes him and does care

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some good points. But why is it likely that it's just for her benefit? Maybe she really likes him and does care"
because if she has lied and cheated remaining friends makes her feel less of a £5 a stab whore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends entirely on the EX, I'm still friends with several guys I've 'dated' but feel it would be impossible to remain friends with others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends entirely on the EX, I'm still friends with several guys I've 'dated' but feel it would be impossible to remain friends with others.

Quite the same here. Some i speak to and have small talk. Others i avoid and deny ever knowing them. These are the women that tend to want to get back with me! I dont get it. I dont have many exs though. Im talking here about past 13 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I split with me ex of 10 years, I wanted to be friends, as we have a son together, 3 years on and he still can not be civil towards me and I only ended it due to us both going in different directions in life, well that and I was miserable as sin and had no desire to be with him as a lover.

Saying that since then I have tried being friends with ex's, but they still want in your knickers, where as once your my ex, your an ex for a reason, and a clean break is needed.

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