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Worst meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

What is the worst meet you've had and what happened

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

he came to ours and could'nt get a hard on. bloody waste of time

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Met a guy for coffee and had to keep getting more napkins cos he started crying about his recent divorce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I carefully checked out someones profile, they perported to be 6 foot - arranged to meet for a coffee after seeing a pic - he turned up and came up to my armpits (I am not tall either lol) being the polite person i was went for a coffee - in the packed coffee shop he very loudly said "when are we going to fuck" - the place went so quiet u could have heard a pin drop - I looked him in the face and started laughing loudly (probably hysterically at that point) and said in an equally loud voice, "oh yeah that story your sister tells always gets me", the coffee shop resumed its normal noise ............ I hasten to add i left rapidly and have never spoken to him again ............... - yeah height is an issue with me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Met a guy for coffee and had to keep getting more napkins cos he started crying about his recent divorce "

Lol oh shit x lol x that went well

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I carefully checked out someones profile, they perported to be 6 foot - arranged to meet for a coffee after seeing a pic - he turned up and came up to my armpits (I am not tall either lol) being the polite person i was went for a coffee - in the packed coffee shop he very loudly said "when are we going to fuck" - the place went so quiet u could have heard a pin drop - I looked him in the face and started laughing loudly (probably hysterically at that point) and said in an equally loud voice, "oh yeah that story your sister tells always gets me", the coffee shop resumed its normal noise ............ I hasten to add i left rapidly and have never spoken to him again ............... - yeah height is an issue with me lol "

Lol bless the little fella x you must have got him all excited lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"he came to ours and could'nt get a hard on. bloody waste of time"

Take it you didn't invite him for a second go lol x

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

not seen him since

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"not seen him since"

Lol bless him x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly "

Fast car on the way back x so frustrating I bet x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

met a couple who when i got there, woman stormed out and they spent whole time arguing. They hadn't discussed it properly, luckily the guy was sound and welcoming and so i had a cup of tea and left. However i felt so embarrassed bout leaving so soon, I couldn't face getting a taxi (as i only knew the one company number) incase it was the same taxi driver. It was late at night and driver had already joked "off to do some shagging is it?" So I walked for an hour back.

Last time I do a spur of the moment meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly "

That must have been frustrating, he wasn't ready for another go then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly "

*mins ..not 'mind'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I aranges to meet this guy ,who i had chatet with for a while ,he was married and his wife was going away for the weeken with her sister,he had sent me pics of his wife ,nice looking girl ,but why, and eventualy a face pic of himself,nice looking mustle built tanned the briki sort quite a hunk ,what a shok i got when i called , this little guy fat covered in spots with pussy heads answered the door ,in his washed out white underpants,i looked at him and said sorry must have the wrong addy ,he told me his name ,nope ,i had the correct addy ,i steped in just for good grace ,,having no intention of having sexual contact with him,turend round ,he had his cock in hand wanking in the hall ,suck on this he said ,no way and pushed past towards the door just as he splashed his cum allover the carpet ,he stood looking at me asking why i had not taking his cum in my mouth as promised ,eh let me think and left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have met guys that have cum before even getting it in and guys that can't keep a hard on. Everyone has there off days and excitment or nerves can change how someone would normally perform so we wouldn't normally hold it against someone.

The worst meet we did have however was a guy that turned up looking about 40 years older than his pictures... we didn't play.

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly

That must have been frustrating, he wasn't ready for another go then?"

Hugely frustrating ...he had already said it would take a fair while to recover We weren't interested in waiting around for round two for some reason lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I carefully checked out someones profile, they perported to be 6 foot - arranged to meet for a coffee after seeing a pic - he turned up and came up to my armpits (I am not tall either lol) being the polite person i was went for a coffee - in the packed coffee shop he very loudly said "when are we going to fuck" - the place went so quiet u could have heard a pin drop - I looked him in the face and started laughing loudly (probably hysterically at that point) and said in an equally loud voice, "oh yeah that story your sister tells always gets me", the coffee shop resumed its normal noise ............ I hasten to add i left rapidly and have never spoken to him again ............... - yeah height is an issue with me lol

Lol bless the little fella x you must have got him all excited lol x"

wouldnt have taken much then lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"met a couple who when i got there, woman stormed out and they spent whole time arguing. They hadn't discussed it properly, luckily the guy was sound and welcoming and so i had a cup of tea and left. However i felt so embarrassed bout leaving so soon, I couldn't face getting a taxi (as i only knew the one company number) incase it was the same taxi driver. It was late at night and driver had already joked "off to do some shagging is it?" So I walked for an hour back.

Last time I do a spur of the moment meet."

Bet you felt awkward as fuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly

That must have been frustrating, he wasn't ready for another go then?

Hugely frustrating ...he had already said it would take a fair while to recover We weren't interested in waiting around for round two for some reason lol"

Lol nah not right waiting on him saying ok I'm ready now x lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly

That must have been frustrating, he wasn't ready for another go then?

Hugely frustrating ...he had already said it would take a fair while to recover We weren't interested in waiting around for round two for some reason lol"

That is a shame, not good on both accounts. From a guys point of view I do feel for him a little bit, with the over excitement but shouldn't have to be waiting around for round two! Should still have enough excitement left in him to perform properly after the initial mishap.

Had my fair share of not so good meets, this is why I tend to have a few I see regularly and know what I am getting. I do love to meet new people though and usually can tell from the messages what they are like but isn't always the case.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have met guys that have cum before even getting it in and guys that can't keep a hard on. Everyone has there off days and excitment or nerves can change how someone would normally perform so we wouldn't normally hold it against someone.

The worst meet we did have however was a guy that turned up looking about 40 years older than his pictures... we didn't play.

Lol why do people do that not put current pics up x surely they're going to get found out when they meet anyone x

Tony "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We travelled from Scotland to London to meet a "cute size 10" fem. we ha been chatting to her for ages. swapped pics and spoke on the phone. anyway, 6 hours on the train and was met by a fem who we initially thought was her friend, but no , it was HER. how could she have gained 16 stone in 6 hours we spent on the train. needless to say it was an expensive lesson.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this meet that felt me with love bits all over ... and never new untill john said in the morning you better go look at your neck ... with family around was hard to cover up all 6 . and i never felt him biting me hard . lol must have just been good at doing that .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have seen your pics, an you really are worth eating yet alone biting.xxx

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend


"Met a guy for coffee and had to keep getting more napkins cos he started crying about his recent divorce "

I had one of them, well kinda.

Met him for a drink, suggested one pub, he didn't want to meet there, because he goes there with his recently separated wife. Fine, we meet in another.

He proceeds to tell me he only joined the site because his wife has left him, and if she sees him moving on, she'll realise what a mistake she has made, and want him back. They were still living together at this point, but in separate rooms.

I'm starting to realise he doesn't really want to split from his wife at this point. He then tells me he prefers women with long hair (I have short hair) as his wife has long hair and it's really pretty.

He then bursts into tears, sobbing how much he loves his wife.

I get up and walk out of the pub! Didn't even finish my drink, and that is unheard of!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have Mr Greedy .... we have the man who was only about 5ft 2 .... the man who had aged quite a lot since his picture had been taken ....

Oh my

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Bet you felt awkward as fuck "

just a little bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have seen your pics, an you really are worth eating yet alone biting.xxx"
lol well he must having been thinking i was worth eating too ... i never felt it strange . lolx xxxxx kisses there xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Met a guy for coffee and had to keep getting more napkins cos he started crying about his recent divorce

I had one of them, well kinda.

Met him for a drink, suggested one pub, he didn't want to meet there, because he goes there with his recently separated wife. Fine, we meet in another.

He proceeds to tell me he only joined the site because his wife has left him, and if she sees him moving on, she'll realise what a mistake she has made, and want him back. They were still living together at this point, but in separate rooms.

I'm starting to realise he doesn't really want to split from his wife at this point. He then tells me he prefers women with long hair (I have short hair) as his wife has long hair and it's really pretty.

He then bursts into tears, sobbing how much he loves his wife.

I get up and walk out of the pub! Didn't even finish my drink, and that is unheard of!

"

Sounds like you had a lot of fun that night ......not! At least I got a 38 second shag on my bad meet

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"When the chap came in less than one minute ...it took us 40 mins to drive to his place ...and 20 mind to drive back cus we left so rapidly "

i kindly asked you not to tell everyone!!! cow!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only meet i've had so far on here was a gal i was chatting to for a couple day a few wks ago!

She asked to come to mine for some naughty fun so i agreed. When she turned up, it was a GUY with a backpack, asking if he could use my shower to freshen up and change into 'kelly' as his missus doesnt know hes a cd!

He was told to get to fuck!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Where to start...

The man that couldn't get it up, when I went to the loo to give him a moment I heard him running down the stairs and watched as he got dressed on the path.

The guy that couldn't get it up and said if I held on he'd call his mate to fuck me whilst he watched.

The bloke who walked in front of me without holding the door, ordered himself a drink and when I called him on it said it wasn't a date,a

The man that kept figetting during dinner until I couldn't stand it and asked why he couldn't keep still to be told he had a butt plug in and he was squeezing it every time I looked at him.

The man who insisted on ordering my meal as I was too fat to eat my own choices.

Oh, the one that during dinner proceeded to correct my grammar. He'd interrupt with "split infinitive..."...'double negative..."

How can I forget the guy that looked like a younger Robert Redford but in the flesh motd Albert Steptoe and Bruce Forsyth!

The guy that kept slapping my thigh saying I'd crush him if we wrestled...oh and did I wrestle?

The dark haired 5ft 10 bloke who in reality I could have rested the girls on top of his grey comeover...not too many disasters!

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"The only meet i've had so far on here was a gal i was chatting to for a couple day a few wks ago!

She asked to come to mine for some naughty fun so i agreed. When she turned up, it was a GUY with a backpack, asking if he could use my shower to freshen up and change into 'kelly' as his missus doesnt know hes a cd!

He was told to get to fuck! "

Guy I met had similar. He'd been talking to this "stunner" for two weeks, decided to meet "her" outside a theatre in Drury Lane, when he got there only a man was waiting...turned out she was in fact a he.

Thing is the bloke was upset the social meet was off.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Have seen your pics, an you really are worth eating yet alone biting.xxx lol well he must having been thinking i was worth eating too ... i never felt it strange . lolx xxxxx kisses there xx "

I'd like to eat and bite and suck you too x your gorgeous x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Where to start...

The man that couldn't get it up, when I went to the loo to give him a moment I heard him running down the stairs and watched as he got dressed on the path.

The guy that couldn't get it up and said if I held on he'd call his mate to fuck me whilst he watched.

The bloke who walked in front of me without holding the door, ordered himself a drink and when I called him on it said it wasn't a date,a

The man that kept figetting during dinner until I couldn't stand it and asked why he couldn't keep still to be told he had a butt plug in and he was squeezing it every time I looked at him.

The man who insisted on ordering my meal as I was too fat to eat my own choices.

Oh, the one that during dinner proceeded to correct my grammar. He'd interrupt with "split infinitive..."...'double negative..."

How can I forget the guy that looked like a younger Robert Redford but in the flesh motd Albert Steptoe and Bruce Forsyth!

The guy that kept slapping my thigh saying I'd crush him if we wrestled...oh and did I wrestle?

The dark haired 5ft 10 bloke who in reality I could have rested the girls on top of his grey comeover...not too many disasters! "

Blimey x surprised your still on here with all those disasters lol x hopefully the number of good meets out ways the number of bad meets x

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I once met an Indian doctor for a car shag. He seemed very very confident about the whole thing. So we're still fully clothed, I put my seat down, he gets on top, lift up skirt, pull knickers to one side, he's inside me and about 30 seconds later he cums! Afterwards he asks me to tell him how great he was and how much I loved his cock!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turning up to a meet and wasnt the person in the picture.

Why do they do that!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got asked by a new couple to pop down to a house at short notice as is was local i thought why not knocked on the door and a guy answered, "O shes upstairs sitting on the bed," ok i started going up the stairs and he said "i did tell you that there was another guy coming?" I said "no but its fine" got into the bedroom and we all started having a bit of a play but the other guy came in about 10seconds so i got her to myself for a few minutes she went back over to other guy and he said "start sucking its going to take a while to get him going again"! she stormed out and that was it he said she's not into it any more so we got dressed and the other guy stormed out i was leaving and her partner said "did you hear what he said" she had told him it was ether leave the room or bit the other guys cock off

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

There was the day of five meets..

#1 had a lovely pic - but it was 4 years and 5 stone out of date!

#2 was nice but not for me.

#3 had a completely fake pic and got miffed when I said nothing would be happening as a result.

#4 was another pleasant but not for me.

#5 was ok so we played and he had a lovely time but I was seriously underwhelmed by his much boasted about oral skills - apparently could stay there all night actually means about 5 mins and I don't care if you haven't cum but I'm loosing my hard on so suck me for twenty mins until I'm so horny I cum as soon as I get inside you... And he wondered why I didn't stay over!

I ended up making a booty call to an old friend to deal with the mounting frustration!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There was the day of five meets..

#1 had a lovely pic - but it was 4 years and 5 stone out of date!

#2 was nice but not for me.

#3 had a completely fake pic and got miffed when I said nothing would be happening as a result.

#4 was another pleasant but not for me.

#5 was ok so we played and he had a lovely time but I was seriously underwhelmed by his much boasted about oral skills - apparently could stay there all night actually means about 5 mins and I don't care if you haven't cum but I'm loosing my hard on so suck me for twenty mins until I'm so horny I cum as soon as I get inside you... And he wondered why I didn't stay over!

I ended up making a booty call to an old friend to deal with the mounting frustration!"

Blimey x bet your friend luved it and you took your frustration out on him lol x

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By *ntelligent Gent.Man
over a year ago

Birmingham


"There was the day of five meets..

#1 had a lovely pic - but it was 4 years and 5 stone out of date!

#2 was nice but not for me.

#3 had a completely fake pic and got miffed when I said nothing would be happening as a result.

#4 was another pleasant but not for me.

#5 was ok so we played and he had a lovely time but I was seriously underwhelmed by his much boasted about oral skills - apparently could stay there all night actually means about 5 mins and I don't care if you haven't cum but I'm loosing my hard on so suck me for twenty mins until I'm so horny I cum as soon as I get inside you... And he wondered why I didn't stay over!

I ended up making a booty call to an old friend to deal with the mounting frustration!"

Like the honesty - its like a pick n mix shop lol

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire


"I got asked by a new couple to pop down to a house at short notice as is was local i thought why not knocked on the door and a guy answered, "O shes upstairs sitting on the bed," ok i started going up the stairs and he said "i did tell you that there was another guy coming?" I said "no but its fine" got into the bedroom and we all started having a bit of a play but the other guy came in about 10seconds so i got her to myself for a few minutes she went back over to other guy and he said "start sucking its going to take a while to get him going again"! she stormed out and that was it he said she's not into it any more so we got dressed and the other guy stormed out i was leaving and her partner said "did you hear what he said" she had told him it was ether leave the room or bit the other guys cock off "

re read the end of that and write it in a way i can understand will you, please.

i am very intrueged

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

well unfortunately for everyone,,,, we can beat the whole lot! easily!!

some time ago we had no kids and a weekend to ourselves, we had been out for a few drinks together, upon getting home robin decided he wanted someone to join us. so clearly unable to find a couple at the last minute or a single bi fem ever we decided on a single male.

After a quick local search we decided on 1 guy who lived in the next town, had verifications, had pictures, had a decent profile.

robin arranged the meet, exchanging phone numbers etc, we gave the guy our address and asked him to be at ours at a cretian time, sure enough the car pulled up bang on time.

robin was upstairs in the shower and shouted down for me to show our guest a good time till he was done, sure enough with cock in mouth our guest was enjoying his stay.....until robin opened the door.

our guest and robin played for the same cricket team.

embarrasing doesnt come into it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you shagged him anyway - the team that plays together, stays together!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or...take one for the team!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guy punched his wife in the face and broke her nose, blood everywhere

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By *inecrestMan
over a year ago

West Yorks


"well unfortunately for everyone,,,, we can beat the whole lot! easily!!

some time ago we had no kids and a weekend to ourselves, we had been out for a few drinks together, upon getting home robin decided he wanted someone to join us. so clearly unable to find a couple at the last minute or a single bi fem ever we decided on a single male.

After a quick local search we decided on 1 guy who lived in the next town, had verifications, had pictures, had a decent profile.

robin arranged the meet, exchanging phone numbers etc, we gave the guy our address and asked him to be at ours at a cretian time, sure enough the car pulled up bang on time.

robin was upstairs in the shower and shouted down for me to show our guest a good time till he was done, sure enough with cock in mouth our guest was enjoying his stay.....until robin opened the door.

our guest and robin played for the same cricket team.

embarrasing doesnt come into it!"

So he was the opening swing bowler. And he started with a maiden. Pretty good.

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By *anoman1Man
over a year ago

london


"well unfortunately for everyone,,,, we can beat the whole lot! easily!!

some time ago we had no kids and a weekend to ourselves, we had been out for a few drinks together, upon getting home robin decided he wanted someone to join us. so clearly unable to find a couple at the last minute or a single bi fem ever we decided on a single male.

After a quick local search we decided on 1 guy who lived in the next town, had verifications, had pictures, had a decent profile.

robin arranged the meet, exchanging phone numbers etc, we gave the guy our address and asked him to be at ours at a cretian time, sure enough the car pulled up bang on time.

robin was upstairs in the shower and shouted down for me to show our guest a good time till he was done, sure enough with cock in mouth our guest was enjoying his stay.....until robin opened the door.

our guest and robin played for the same cricket team.

embarrasing doesnt come into it!"

Number 1 hahahahaha

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

A short notice meet with a man not that far away from me. I had told him what I look like etc. and he had seen my pictures. We had a bit of chat got to the bedroom, got undressed and then he looked me in the eye and said 'you've got a pretty face but I can't go there'. He grabbed his clothes and left still dressing as he walked out of the front door.

I curb my urges now - no more short notice meets.

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By *orkieMan
over a year ago

Who knows

Arranged a meet with a lady off here (no longer on site) bout 4 years ago, thought I was onto a winner as she had given me her profile details off another site to check out her verifications, checked them out and was thinkin she was gonna blow my mind and several other things.

Anyway duly turned up at the prearranged time, with supplies of wine, condoms etc (boy scout training kicked in), was walking down the path (dark night here) sees a woman come to the door and stand on the step..... Stops and takes in the view, comparison to pics on profile was... pics 10 yrs younger and prob 3 stone lighter (aint it a bugger when ya cant find the Trading Standards number on your phone)

Being a typical bloke who had the mantra of a stiff dick has no conscience duly crossed the threshold and made myself comfortable. The polite pre shag chat consisted of her telling me what where and how she had done it with Tom Dick and Harry (think Fred n Steve must have been unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns) Her sales pich was so good I nearly signed up for replacement double glazing and a concrete imprinted driveway as well.

The deed was done and I think we were both mildly satisfied, I was then told I was staying the night and to expect a wake up call sometime during the nocturnal hrs. Being a guy who does as he was told I set the inbuilt alarm clock to go off bout 3 hrs later. It worked a treat and set out to "Do what she printed on my tin" 10 minutes of frenzied activity and mid thrust she came out with the immortal words "Can we stop cos am feeling tired again, but leave the condom on in case I wake up again in an horr or so" Talk about a slap with a nurses pencil, Tommy Todger went down like the Titanic.

A few hrs later (6am) it was a simultaneous wake up and I was greeted with "Why aint you still got the condom on, do ya fancy another go and what do ya want for breakfast* (thought such interrogations were against the Human Rights Act).I know I was only supposed to give name, rank and serial number but I ad-libbed to decline her kind offer informing her that I was due on site in 3/4 of an hour and I would get a Maccy D`s breakfast on the way.

As I sloped off down the path I made a mental note to tell the team they owed me one big style

BTW no animals were harmed in the making or recounting of this tale

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Organised to meet someone at theirs. I drove for half an hour to get there only to discover they were not in and there was a for sale sign on the house. I called him on his cell but there was no reply and so I left a message. I was driving back home and he called and said that he was in. I drove back to his and he still wasn't in and after about 10 mins he pulls up and says that he has been very busy. I was so angry, I used the bathroom and left.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"A short notice meet with a man not that far away from me. I had told him what I look like etc. and he had seen my pictures. We had a bit of chat got to the bedroom, got undressed and then he looked me in the eye and said 'you've got a pretty face but I can't go there'. He grabbed his clothes and left still dressing as he walked out of the front door.

I curb my urges now - no more short notice meets."

I wonder if it's the same guy that ran out on me.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London


"Arranged a meet with a lady off here (no longer on site) bout 4 years ago, thought I was onto a winner as she had given me her profile details off another site to check out her verifications, checked them out and was thinkin she was gonna blow my mind and several other things.

Anyway duly turned up at the prearranged time, with supplies of wine, condoms etc (boy scout training kicked in), was walking down the path (dark night here) sees a woman come to the door and stand on the step..... Stops and takes in the view, comparison to pics on profile was... pics 10 yrs younger and prob 3 stone lighter (aint it a bugger when ya cant find the Trading Standards number on your phone)

Being a typical bloke who had the mantra of a stiff dick has no conscience duly crossed the threshold and made myself comfortable. The polite pre shag chat consisted of her telling me what where and how she had done it with Tom Dick and Harry (think Fred n Steve must have been unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns) Her sales pich was so good I nearly signed up for replacement double glazing and a concrete imprinted driveway as well.

The deed was done and I think we were both mildly satisfied, I was then told I was staying the night and to expect a wake up call sometime during the nocturnal hrs. Being a guy who does as he was told I set the inbuilt alarm clock to go off bout 3 hrs later. It worked a treat and set out to "Do what she printed on my tin" 10 minutes of frenzied activity and mid thrust she came out with the immortal words "Can we stop cos am feeling tired again, but leave the condom on in case I wake up again in an horr or so" Talk about a slap with a nurses pencil, Tommy Todger went down like the Titanic.

A few hrs later (6am) it was a simultaneous wake up and I was greeted with "Why aint you still got the condom on, do ya fancy another go and what do ya want for breakfast* (thought such interrogations were against the Human Rights Act).I know I was only supposed to give name, rank and serial number but I ad-libbed to decline her kind offer informing her that I was due on site in 3/4 of an hour and I would get a Maccy D`s breakfast on the way.

As I sloped off down the path I made a mental note to tell the team they owed me one big style

BTW no animals were harmed in the making or recounting of this tale"

Haahaahaahaa...you tart!

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

Well, my meeting are sometimes not very straight forward at the best of times ( see profile) but on one occasion, this happened which is unforgiveable. It was all pre-arranged where I drove to a certain place in Portsmouth and waited in my car to be given instructions by this guy who was watching me from his flat before going in to fuck. So I'm in my car on a main rd in broad daylight knowing I'm being watched from his flat just across the street. A text came through asking me to flash my tits for him which I did. Then another came through asking me to remove my panties which I did. Then another said he wanted to watch me finger myself which I did. Then nothing. I didn't hear another thing from him. I didn't know which flat he was watching me from, not that I'd have confronted him face to face anyway. After a wait, I just drove home. It was the biggest let down yet. I felt so fucking horny but a complete feckin idiot at the same time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Arranged a meet with a lady off here (no longer on site) bout 4 years ago, thought I was onto a winner as she had given me her profile details off another site to check out her verifications, checked them out and was thinkin she was gonna blow my mind and several other things.

Anyway duly turned up at the prearranged time, with supplies of wine, condoms etc (boy scout training kicked in), was walking down the path (dark night here) sees a woman come to the door and stand on the step..... Stops and takes in the view, comparison to pics on profile was... pics 10 yrs younger and prob 3 stone lighter (aint it a bugger when ya cant find the Trading Standards number on your phone)

Being a typical bloke who had the mantra of a stiff dick has no conscience duly crossed the threshold and made myself comfortable. The polite pre shag chat consisted of her telling me what where and how she had done it with Tom Dick and Harry (think Fred n Steve must have been unavailable due to conflicting shift patterns) Her sales pich was so good I nearly signed up for replacement double glazing and a concrete imprinted driveway as well.

The deed was done and I think we were both mildly satisfied, I was then told I was staying the night and to expect a wake up call sometime during the nocturnal hrs. Being a guy who does as he was told I set the inbuilt alarm clock to go off bout 3 hrs later. It worked a treat and set out to "Do what she printed on my tin" 10 minutes of frenzied activity and mid thrust she came out with the immortal words "Can we stop cos am feeling tired again, but leave the condom on in case I wake up again in an horr or so" Talk about a slap with a nurses pencil, Tommy Todger went down like the Titanic.

A few hrs later (6am) it was a simultaneous wake up and I was greeted with "Why aint you still got the condom on, do ya fancy another go and what do ya want for breakfast* (thought such interrogations were against the Human Rights Act).I know I was only supposed to give name, rank and serial number but I ad-libbed to decline her kind offer informing her that I was due on site in 3/4 of an hour and I would get a Maccy D`s breakfast on the way.

As I sloped off down the path I made a mental note to tell the team they owed me one big style

BTW no animals were harmed in the making or recounting of this tale"

love it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only meet i've had so far on here was a gal i was chatting to for a couple day a few wks ago!

She asked to come to mine for some naughty fun so i agreed. When she turned up, it was a GUY with a backpack, asking if he could use my shower to freshen up and change into 'kelly' as his missus doesnt know hes a cd!

He was told to get to fuck! "

Im sorry I know I shouldnt laugh but thats so funny

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Still think wishy's sofa guy is number 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, not had any bad or actual funny meets as yet, but have only met a few people so far.

Love this thread its made me giggle so much.

Although there was the time I went to meet a guy and had an amazing time, though he broke the zip off my dress and I had no coat.

So got the taxi home in my underwear!

Saying that the guy I met did offer me a pair of his trousers.

But I said they wouldnt match my heels?

Think I was still a bit tipsy after a few drinks too many. Well it was the weekend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive had a few shocking meets but this subjects been done a few time and ive posted them before so i think in respect of the regulars i not subject them to reading it all again lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only meet i've had so far on here was a gal i was chatting to for a couple day a few wks ago!

She asked to come to mine for some naughty fun so i agreed. When she turned up, it was a GUY with a backpack, asking if he could use my shower to freshen up and change into 'kelly' as his missus doesnt know hes a cd!

He was told to get to fuck! "

That must be quite common

i met a guy last week who was telling me about a couple he met and when he got to the house just the guy was there, he invited him in and they had a drink and a chat, the guy then asked where is wife was and the other guys said she was upstairs getting ready and that he would fetch her, so he went upstairs and came back down about 20 mins later dressed as a woman, the guy i met said the most freaky thing was is the guy now dressed as woman came down like nothing was wrong and started talking to him like they had just met

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only meet i've had so far on here was a gal i was chatting to for a couple day a few wks ago!

She asked to come to mine for some naughty fun so i agreed. When she turned up, it was a GUY with a backpack, asking if he could use my shower to freshen up and change into 'kelly' as his missus doesnt know hes a cd!

He was told to get to fuck!

That must be quite common

i met a guy last week who was telling me about a couple he met and when he got to the house just the guy was there, he invited him in and they had a drink and a chat, the guy then asked where is wife was and the other guys said she was upstairs getting ready and that he would fetch her, so he went upstairs and came back down about 20 mins later dressed as a woman, the guy i met said the most freaky thing was is the guy now dressed as woman came down like nothing was wrong and started talking to him like they had just met "

That has made me laugh, its just like a comedy sketch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where to start...

The man that couldn't get it up, when I went to the loo to give him a moment I heard him running down the stairs and watched as he got dressed on the path.

The guy that couldn't get it up and said if I held on he'd call his mate to fuck me whilst he watched.

The bloke who walked in front of me without holding the door, ordered himself a drink and when I called him on it said it wasn't a date,a

The man that kept figetting during dinner until I couldn't stand it and asked why he couldn't keep still to be told he had a butt plug in and he was squeezing it every time I looked at him.

The man who insisted on ordering my meal as I was too fat to eat my own choices.

Oh, the one that during dinner proceeded to correct my grammar. He'd interrupt with "split infinitive..."...'double negative..."

How can I forget the guy that looked like a younger Robert Redford but in the flesh motd Albert Steptoe and Bruce Forsyth!

The guy that kept slapping my thigh saying I'd crush him if we wrestled...oh and did I wrestle?

The dark haired 5ft 10 bloke who in reality I could have rested the girls on top of his grey comeover...not too many disasters! "

Oh my...seriously, statement 3 had me rolling on the floor...people as such really exist? DAMN...hahahaha

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By *iles3659Man
over a year ago

Stafford

Met a lady in a hotel many years ago. It was my first ever encounter through the Interweb.

Started well but having been inside her for about 5 seconds and time for only a couple of thrusts she was screaming very loud and apparently cumming.

I mentally congratulated myself ... gave her a moment ... and started again more slowly ... only to be greeted with the same reaction after about 10 seconds.

This went on for about 2 hours ... minimal movement from me resulted in huge reactions from her.

Personally I never got close!

Now I want to know that I can make a woman come ... but this was exhausting!

I wanted to say "Excuse me ... my turn next?" but she even did it mid-BJ!

She appeared to leave happy ... I was bemused!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is horrifying ! No wonder you have to be extremely patient to get a meet on here !

I mean who actually has the balls & stupidity to post pictures of other people and/or inaccurate description of themselves on this ! What is wrong with these people ??

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By *amschwingerzCouple
over a year ago

West


"This is horrifying ! No wonder you have to be extremely patient to get a meet on here !

I mean who actually has the balls & stupidity to post pictures of other people and/or inaccurate description of themselves on this ! What is wrong with these people ?? "

Indeedieas were similar threads, damn glad we dont swing! lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we met a couple wife had a good time with fella ,but the lady i was with had a smelly fanny and put me right off we were gone in about 10 mins

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

i had one guy i met socially who during conversation took great pride in showing pics on his phone he had of a previous conquest .the coffee was the only only thing wet and hot that day lol !!!

years back a meet after a good few hours of play announced he knew his therory about bigger women was right ,what they lacked looks wise they compensaed for in bed .funny enough never met him after that lol !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Had this meet that felt me with love bits all over ... and never new untill john said in the morning you better go look at your neck ... with family around was hard to cover up all 6 . and i never felt him biting me hard . lol must have just been good at doing that . "

something wierd about guys who want to leave marks. me no likey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Worst meet was a guy I was giving a bj to and he asked me to finger his arse whilst doing so, I did but then started to gag .... he had dangle-berries ...... I couldn't wait to wash my hands and get away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went round to a house for a meet. Got in door and immediately turned and walked out again. If the TV show A Life Of Grime ever starts again then I know a house they should show.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"Went round to a house for a meet. Got in door and immediately turned and walked out again. If the TV show A Life Of Grime ever starts again then I know a house they should show."

+1.

Then they guy started threatening me after I made my excuses and left, Apparently the way to woo a woman back for play when shes turned you down is to suggest you'll collect up all your friends and jump on her when shes not expecting her and gang rape her till she sees the error of her ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I carefully checked out someones profile, they perported to be 6 foot - arranged to meet for a coffee after seeing a pic - he turned up and came up to my armpits (I am not tall either lol) being the polite person i was went for a coffee - in the packed coffee shop he very loudly said "when are we going to fuck" - the place went so quiet u could have heard a pin drop - I looked him in the face and started laughing loudly (probably hysterically at that point) and said in an equally loud voice, "oh yeah that story your sister tells always gets me", the coffee shop resumed its normal noise ............ I hasten to add i left rapidly and have never spoken to him again ............... - yeah height is an issue with me lol "

wow lol! you must have been well emberassed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I carefully checked out someones profile, they perported to be 6 foot - arranged to meet for a coffee after seeing a pic - he turned up and came up to my armpits (I am not tall either lol) being the polite person i was went for a coffee - in the packed coffee shop he very loudly said "when are we going to fuck" - the place went so quiet u could have heard a pin drop - I looked him in the face and started laughing loudly (probably hysterically at that point) and said in an equally loud voice, "oh yeah that story your sister tells always gets me", the coffee shop resumed its normal noise ............ I hasten to add i left rapidly and have never spoken to him again ............... - yeah height is an issue with me lol

wow lol! you must have been well emberassed"

I nearly died lol but do laugh about it now lol !!! and no it didnt put me off meeting others .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a pretty bad time last night to be honest

Had two guys for a 3sum and neither could get a hard on

ok not my worse meet but i think someone up theres trying to tell me its time to pack up lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!"

Someone read my mind...I dont know what they are either. Away to google

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!

Someone read my mind...I dont know what they are either. Away to google "

DON'T DO IT!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!

Someone read my mind...I dont know what they are either. Away to google

DON'T DO IT!!!!! "

Do it ..... Not as bad as a blue waffle!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield


"just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!

Someone read my mind...I dont know what they are either. Away to google

DON'T DO IT!!!!!

Do it ..... Not as bad as a blue waffle! "

True. And deffo not as bad as one man one jar...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep ...googled. Oh thats tame compared to other stuff I shouldnt have googled

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A short notice meet with a man not that far away from me. I had told him what I look like etc. and he had seen my pictures. We had a bit of chat got to the bedroom, got undressed and then he looked me in the eye and said 'you've got a pretty face but I can't go there'. He grabbed his clothes and left still dressing as he walked out of the front door.

I curb my urges now - no more short notice meets."

What is wrong with some people?!? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Where to start...

The man that couldn't get it up, when I went to the loo to give him a moment I heard him running down the stairs and watched as he got dressed on the path.

The guy that couldn't get it up and said if I held on he'd call his mate to fuck me whilst he watched.

The bloke who walked in front of me without holding the door, ordered himself a drink and when I called him on it said it wasn't a date,a

The man that kept figetting during dinner until I couldn't stand it and asked why he couldn't keep still to be told he had a butt plug in and he was squeezing it every time I looked at him.

The man who insisted on ordering my meal as I was too fat to eat my own choices.

Oh, the one that during dinner proceeded to correct my grammar. He'd interrupt with "split infinitive..."...'double negative..."

How can I forget the guy that looked like a younger Robert Redford but in the flesh motd Albert Steptoe and Bruce Forsyth!

The guy that kept slapping my thigh saying I'd crush him if we wrestled...oh and did I wrestle?

The dark haired 5ft 10 bloke who in reality I could have rested the girls on top of his grey comeover...not too many disasters! "

"It certainly ain't going to put me off mid-stroke.

Now, if *I* were to fart ... that's completely different!"

There's a coffee table book/blog there somewhere!!

Hope you've many many more satisfying meets!xx

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By *ubbyandwifeCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We had a meet one time and I said to the guy that I need to be in the room with her and he said it fine so he came in start kissing and she start sucking him but he can't get a hard on and said I can't get hard because you hubby was here so he left

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

ive had a few but one that always makes me chcukle now is the "phantom wanker"

It was off another site i had arranged a meet with a guy and and he came round my house asked me for some water while i was in kitchen sorting out ice and water he managed to knock one out and leave my front door wide open as he left i came back to living room to a pile of cum on my glass coffee table and the front door wide open but no sign of him.

Another one was a couple who turned up to meet me and Sir who claimed to be into bdsm so we set everything up for a session i was given my instructions to keep the guy interested while Sir tested her limits she was very into it and the guy wasnt he just wanted to sit and chat about the town and shoipping while they fucked it wasnt good we soon ended the session. Then there was the mucky dirty people who stank and the house was filthy we wiped our feet on the way out and again made excuses pretty quickly to leave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ive had a few but one that always makes me chcukle now is the "phantom wanker"

It was off another site i had arranged a meet with a guy and and he came round my house asked me for some water while i was in kitchen sorting out ice and water he managed to knock one out and leave my front door wide open as he left i came back to living room to a pile of cum on my glass coffee table and the front door wide open but no sign of him."

I am literally crying with laughter at this!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"just googled dangleberries....uugggghhh!

Someone read my mind...I dont know what they are either. Away to google

DON'T DO IT!!!!! "

HAHA,i knows what they are,just spat my dinner out laughing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A meet I had turned up an hour earlier than we'd arranged and thought that was ok. I made him wait while I, very slowly, showered and got ready. I eventually invited him upstairs and undressed, he took his sock and shoes off and got on the bed. I asked him about the rest of his clothes, apparently I was to take them off for him. I suggested he took his own clothes off, but once he had, I wished he hadn't as it was clear from the odour that he'd not showered prior to coming to play.

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