FabSwingers.com forum: Does anyone else feel neither sub nor dom?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Absolutely.. I don't like to attach to a set role or to pre empt what a connection might bring. Each connection is unique.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

We certainly don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very few people are genuine doms right?

That’s a difficult job you know. I think.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I'm feeling more Dick and Dom tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Absolutely.. I don't like to attach to a set role or to pre empt what a connection might bring. Each connection is unique. "

Totally agree with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely; I don’t align to either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started out with a bit of a dom thing on my profile but actually removed it thinking maybe past partners were just super sub. I subscribe to the idea of interactions being different from person to person as mentioned above

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm feeling more Dick and Dom tbh

I'd like to feel dick

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Lots of people don't have a 'set role' OP and plenty of dominants and submissives (me included) don't *always* have that role either, and some do - it's a very individual thing much the same as any other sexual activity, some will enjoy it, some won't etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some folk switch between the 2 roles and respond to the person/partner they have at the time who may have a stronger identity to one particular role

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

I like to switch but I know I'm more sub at heart.

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

"Absolutely.. I don't like to attach to a set role or to pre empt what a connection might bring. Each connection is unique. "

what she said.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's nice to know I'm not alone in this

I'm still exploring and finding out what I like.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"

Definitely. In fact neither of us get the whole role-playing thing.

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"

Yes absolutely. I even state that on my profile. Sometimes it seems like you've got to be one or the other (or both!).

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?

Definitely. In fact neither of us get the whole role-playing thing. "

The thing is for some it goes way beyond "role playing" it's as deep seated in their characters and their being as any other aspect of their sexuality (such as whether someone is straight, bisexual or gay for example) - I know my submissive side is certainly a lot more than "role play" although it is *not* all encompassing and a must have either, but it *is* part of who I am.

As I said further up, no-one *has* to have a "set role" - everyone is individual and has their own preferences and will seek out those whose preference matches their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am definately not sub but would not trust myself to be dom...i may break them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do what I feel like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't feel either of these

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

"I'm feeling more Dick and Dom tbh

BOHGEEEZE!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a switch. When im a sub, can be fully obedient, but sometimes I wanna be a brat. Depends how naughty I am. When i dom, he/she does as I fucking say. Whoever I sub for, they are lucky. I dont sub for anyone. xx

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I’m a switch. When im a sub, can be fully obedient, but sometimes I wanna be a brat. Depends how naughty I am. When i dom, he/she does as I fucking say. Whoever I sub for, they are lucky. I dont sub for anyone. xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Switching is fun .

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By *ickeyblueeyes7Man
over a year ago

newport

I don’t identify as either sub or dom

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By *uriousKinksterMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

I'm more a kinkster than a swinger, and it's been really interesting to see how the number of people identifying as a switch has skyrocketed over the past few years.

Once upon a time, it was shunned in the kink scene a bit as not being 'proper' bdsm. Fortunately things have moved on a lot now, and we're free to explore all aspects of our sexual selves without judgement or prejudice.

One thing I'd like to see is a study info the correlation between a switch and bisexuality. Are we switches really as greedy as we're made out to be

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

I identify as a dom and I like control, but no matter how you identify I think most sane and sensible people in the scene realise that there is more than one way to do kink. I am great believer that title does not dictate role or personality.

It is about being who you want to be, and being honest in your preplay discussions and negotiations about how you work and what you want.

I have spoken to two subs recently who were looking for doms and each started a relationship with people presenting as doms who turned out to be subs looking for doms.

So honesty and clarity is always important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't identify as labels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't think it's compulsory you have to be either. Many are. Many think it makes them appeal to more people. Many of us just don't bother with it all and don't fit one side or the other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm more a kinkster than a swinger, and it's been really interesting to see how the number of people identifying as a switch has skyrocketed over the past few years.

One thing I'd like to see is a study info the correlation between a switch and bisexuality. Are we switches really as greedy as we're made out to be

Are you a switch are are you actually just neither a dom ora sub. Does someone always have to take control or can you just enjoy sex for what it is?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I really don't think it's compulsory you have to be either. Many are. Many think it makes them appeal to more people. Many of us just don't bother with it all and don't fit one side or the other. "

Not sure how it is for others but I'm still exploring and trying different things. I'd be comfortable in either role.

Indecisiveness or FOMO? I don't know

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

"I always see these thrown around in profiles. Someone either saying they're sub/dom or they're seeking someone sub/dom.

Does anyone else feel like they don't have a set 'role'?"

No neither of us are one or the other, we like trying out different things too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes my role changes and I accept it xx

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By *ddfellowMan
over a year ago

wirral

I am neither, though during play i can certainly get into the role of either

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

I'd hazard a guess that many people on here don't feel like they are either.

Taking the 'active' role doesn't make you Dom, and more than taking a 'passive' role makes you sub.

As long as all parties have communicated and are comfortable, call yourself whatever you like, or nothing at all.

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By *rance-timeMan
over a year ago

North Jersey

You don’t have to identify on the dominant / submissive axis or have any labels to define your sexuality, full stop.

These are just shortcuts and ways to help people align if they want to.

There are lots of other axes and labels. How many people know what an Ace or Aro are, for example. Or service top or bottom?

As far as being a “Dom” goes I personally eschew that word as it conveys things that I am not.

Having said that I knew from a very early, pre-pubescent age that I was a dominant guy. It picked me, I didn’t pick it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah sometimes I get confused depends on the situation because I’m a big guy it’s nice to be submissive, but then if I feel incredibly horny I love to take charge and get what I want.

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

Chichester

I am not sub or dom. I am just into sex

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