FabSwingers.com forum: Sexless marriage

By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Quite a few, I would suspect. Could be an interesting thread....

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By *anofkent160Man
over a year ago

gravesend

Yes I am it's being going on for 5 years I'm so lost I love her but no sex is hard its come to a. Point I think she is giving it some where else but we row and now on mother's day she will most probably push me away for good

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Talk to her like an adult and find out her reasons why

Maybe she knows you're cheating but puts up with it and is getting it elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was. I'm not now. Years of nothing. Got looked at like I was filth if I tried to start anything. My confidence took a massive battering. But after years of nothing, not even affection, I left

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Yeah, I know exactly you saying...im in the same boat!

It’s so hard..you want her and she don’t want / need sex at all...and then what you do? You don’t want to cheat on her but still want sex as normal human being...????

Never going to understand these females, and then you go and cheat on her you’re like worst person on the planet? So have to deal with it? Wank all life? Wtf even..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication is key. You may just be speaking different 'love languages' and she has an empty 'love tank'.

Get a copy of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and see if it helps ... there's an online assessment too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My relationship ended, largely in part to having no sex and the arguments is caused. I would never cheat so it was the only real option.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Seen this a few times when guys whine to their partner has lost all interest in sex, the marriage is dead etc etc then one day someone takes notice, gives her some actual attention, treats her special again.... whoosh she boots out whiny fool and turns into a total hottie again, it’s literally a metamorphosis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it’s not with you it’s with someone else get amongst the girls on this sight big lad. Sure someone will want A bit of your big dick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen this a few times when guys whine to their partner has lost all interest in sex, the marriage is dead etc etc then one day someone takes notice, gives her some actual attention, treats her special again.... whoosh she boots out whiny fool and turns into a total hottie again, it’s literally a metamorphosis. "

Yup, see my post above ...

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

"Communication is key. You may just be speaking different 'love languages' and she has an empty 'love tank'.

Get a copy of "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman and see if it helps ... there's an online assessment too. "

Thanks will look it up

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

Wow didn’t expect such a response. Thanks xx

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

A lot of ladies lose it after kids as they are the ones that keep home kids it's hard for them to just get in the mood men need to get over themselves it not all ways about sex it about love and helping your partner what import when she fills ready for sex she will never give up loving them make them the most important thing in your life or you will lose them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has been this way for me for 14 years.

We love each other loads, get on sooo well, hold each others hand still.......but she has Crohn's and I'm not allowed 'down there'.

Really really miss the intimacy. She's told me she no longer feels the need and doesn't miss it one bit. Needless to say I wank every night.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly that!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

how about be opened and talk to her???

we all have needs.

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By *ubsteffTV/TS
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Yep

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By *anofkent160Man
over a year ago

gravesend

Hope your ok

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

Been In that position.Talk to her honestly.

Sone people just have different sex drives and can be incompatible as a result.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"A lot of ladies lose it after kids as they are the ones that keep home kids it's hard for them to just get in the mood men need to get over themselves it not all ways about sex it about love and helping your partner what import when she fills ready for sex she will never give up loving them make them the most important thing in your life or you will lose them"

It's not but sex is a big part.If you love someone sex is an expression of that love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk to her.

Take time, treat her make her feel special but not like your only treating her because you want sex.

Don't cheat

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

"Been In that position.Talk to her honestly.

Sone people just have different sex drives and can be incompatible as a result."

I think you are right. She just has a lot lot less sex drive . But it’s hard when you want it .

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By *abriellajackCouple
over a year ago

Newport

We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

People get criticised for putting too much emphasis on sex but it's incredibly important. If you take swinging out of it then it's the one thing just the two of you do together. There are friends for everything else. If the sex isn't right then it's very rare the rest of the relationship will be as it leads to resentment.

My advice would be to talk to your partner and let them know how unhappy it's making you but don't wait forever. We both feel we wasted our 20's being unhappy and would have hated if we had wasted our 30's too.

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

"We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

Thanks for you message xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're not on your own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't relate, my marital sex life is great.

But if you're in that position you really should talk to your partner and definitely don't come here looking for sex without their permission. In the long run you'll make a bad situation worse and will likely end up losing them.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

Yes we have both been there and the relationships we were in were not possible to save so we split up. However a good relationship is more than just sex so stick at it if it's worth saving.

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

[Removed by poster at 22/03/20 10:31:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ots worth saving then try and sort it, yes it takes two to tango, i too was in a sexless marriage and attempted to save it then the sex would probably have ret3but it couldn't be saved so i left.

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By *ooljoeMan
over a year ago

Harrogate

Yh I had same experience.we had a good sex life and we both enjoyed sex together when it happens.we could go 4rounds.But the ex was a kind of funny as shes never into swinging, but can fuck anyone she just fancies from her work mates,boss to agency staff.And she keeps in contact with all her exes about 3 I know.we both into full time employment only spend time together on weekends but on three occasions she cancelled dates at last minute turned of communication for the day to go fuck other guys then distances her self from having sex with me for weeks.Then I went on tinder, trying to find some pussy then we broke up for good Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

Wise very wise!

I think I’ll do exactly this! Nobody else will live my life apart of myself.

Well done! And keep it up!

Safe and sound these crazy holidays!

M x

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive only been on Fab when single and a lot of my previous fab meets were due they werent getting satisfied at home or lost interest in them, so came on fab without partner knowing, or others where they both agreed she could go and meet to satisfy her needs, but partner knew all about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it won't improve after having a serious talk. You need to leave for your own sanity.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Yup, see my post above ..."

Yes that book can help sometimes if people misunderstand each other. We used to teach a marriage course using it! But to be honest, the kind of guy who would make the effort to buy and read it , probably doesn’t need it.

If you realise love is a verb not a noun you can fix anything - if it’s meant to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

am single because men dont want women who have a high sex drive (like me) for fear of the women cheating on them.so they stay in a no sex marriage.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

[Removed by poster at 22/03/20 11:17:42]

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

You are in a really awkward position. In a happy marriage, sex should be something that both partners want with each other.

You need to sit down and have a serious talk with her. Tell her how you're feeling, tell her that you want and need sex and ask her to explain why she doesn't and ask her what her reasons are, ensuring you listen well to each other.

Only then can you work out a way foward from this. If you both really love each other, there will be a solution. True love conquers all.

Try to resist the temptation to cheat, as that will destroy YOU, let alone your wife if she found out.

Good luck OP.

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By *edandLouCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

You seem to be doing OK according to your veris. Does she know you are on here. Would you still be on here even if you were getting plenty at home?

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By *aul smith999 OP Man
over a year ago

harlow

"You are in a really awkward position. In a happy marriage, sex should be something that both partners want with each other.

Only then can you work out a way foward from this. If you both really love each other, there will be a solution. True love conquers all.

Try to resist the temptation to cheat, as that will destroy YOU, let alone your wife if she found out.

Good luck OP."
thanks mate

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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago

Whitley Bay

Intimacy comes on so many levels and only when you talk to your partner will you start to find out.

In my experience, it's a mistake to assume that the partner less interested in sex is the one with the problem. It's a recipe for disaster to approach from this angle. Most likely you are both responsible in some way for losing that part of your relationship.

Cheating/lying/betrayal of trust in a relationship carries an energy which can be picked up on in a subtle way. Most people in relationships like to feel safe, respected, loved and good in order to continue a healthy sex life. If there is cheating .. it creates a mistrust, even if the partner is unaware of it.. somewhere they will know something is not right.

My advice would be, if you want to remedy the situation with your wife, quit cheating and throw yourself fully into the issue together, encouraging honesty and being upfront with each other. Then you will know if this is fixable or if youre not suited and it's time to move on.

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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago

north and south

"Intimacy comes on so many levels and only when you talk to your partner will you start to find out.

"
sometimes women won't talk and sometimes you can't leave because of the kids you can't leave because you love your wife and we can all be a little selfish when it comes to sex and it's a big part of marriage is big part of our lives so as far as I'm concerned , you're entitled to have some fun and still be a loving man at home

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"Intimacy comes on so many levels and only when you talk to your partner will you start to find out.

sometimes women won't talk and sometimes you can't leave because of the kids you can't leave because you love your wife and we can all be a little selfish when it comes to sex and it's a big part of marriage is big part of our lives so as far as I'm concerned , you're entitled to have some fun and still be a loving man at home

You can leave and sometimes it’s the right thing to do. Saying you can’t because you love your wife , and then cheating on her ? And using kids as an excuse ?

You have two choices, you know what they are , the current option isn’t one. Be a man and either stop cheating and work on your marriage or leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both were with our previous spouses, but hubby had dbl trouble because his wife was also violent, police attendance, the works.

Hard to believe given the job he had but there ya go!

However, to answer the original Q.

We were both in marriages where our opposite number though having sex, or being intimate, is; a cuddle & a kiss was the product of a such & twisted mind.

We also have the ignominious honours of unconsummated marriages to add to the list.

These days, life's good, we found eachother and the bad days are loooooong gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try iliasm.org

Big forum about sexless marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in a sexless marriage to the point where she said that if I wanted sex to go and pay for it.

I met Jane through a different site and we fell in love pretty much straight away.

Now, we genuinely couldn't be happier and as for sex, we suspect we have it more than our kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

What have you tried to get her in the mood..

Bought any lingerie, toys, told her how beautiful and sexy she is?

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

What have you tried to get her in the mood..

Bought any lingerie, toys, told her how beautiful and sexy she is? "

Sounds like maybe he has already tried all the cliches

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By *din and his ValkyrieCouple
over a year ago

Valhalla

This is a difficult one, in my past relationships it was sex less, we would talk about it the cause and problem (usually my fault). Both agree to try harder then it would only be one sided. Me done up waiting 3 to 4 hours for him to come to bed. Even after me tell him what I was doing... after 17 years i gave up and we separated. You cant win them all. But wouldn't change it and what I found after being brave enough to try again.

Valkyrie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

What have you tried to get her in the mood..

Bought any lingerie, toys, told her how beautiful and sexy she is?

Sounds like maybe he has already tried all the cliches "

Some good advice on here - much better than mine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

I have huge respect for you staying together. But I would not stay in a sexless relationship. Life is too short and sex helps to keep me happy.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Stuck it for many years then left. It became too soul destroying to tolerate and i ended up resenting my partner.

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By *FuckingDelightWoman
over a year ago

Sunny Bognor

I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

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By *FuckingDelightWoman
over a year ago

Sunny Bognor

[Removed by poster at 22/03/20 14:00:23]

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By *FuckingDelightWoman
over a year ago

Sunny Bognor

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x"

Would still rather be able to get some at home

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By *rBearFuxMan
over a year ago

usk

Been that way for over 10 years

Just wish I could turn off my lust setting

Tried pros - not many and can’t afford now anyway

Tried porn - not what people want and too costly to make but had fun trying

Find FAB mostly soul destroying

Most ‘get laid here’ sites are scams

In short if I died tomorrow I wouldn’t mind much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

Would still rather be able to get some at home"

Yes but still better than nothing, i had one whose hubby dropped her off and picked up from hotel

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By *FuckingDelightWoman
over a year ago

Sunny Bognor

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

Would still rather be able to get some at home

Yes but still better than nothing, i had one whose hubby dropped her off and picked up from hotel"

Mine would do that - he makes me toast when I get home lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

Would still rather be able to get some at home

Yes but still better than nothing, i had one whose hubby dropped her off and picked up from hotel

Mine would do that - he makes me toast when I get home lol"

Great she just used to msg or send pic to show all alright during meet

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By *FuckingDelightWoman
over a year ago

Sunny Bognor

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

Would still rather be able to get some at home

Yes but still better than nothing, i had one whose hubby dropped her off and picked up from hotel

Mine would do that - he makes me toast when I get home lol

Great she just used to msg or send pic to show all alright during meet"

I’m not quite that informative, i let my bestie know!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I too am in a sexless marriage, not had sex for about 5 years

It came to a head, so to speak, and I spoke with my husband about my needs which is why I’m on here!

He does not want sex, no medical reason he just isn’t interested! So with his blessing I meet men & have sex with them NSA

I love the fact that I now get what I need and he loves the fact I don’t moan at him about it

Exactly like i mentioned above having met women in your position, works for all parties x

Would still rather be able to get some at home

Yes but still better than nothing, i had one whose hubby dropped her off and picked up from hotel

Mine would do that - he makes me toast when I get home lol

Great she just used to msg or send pic to show all alright during meet

I’m not quite that informative, i let my bestie know!!"

I think he liked knowing she was safe and having a good time

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By *omerset_naughtyMan
over a year ago

marmaris,Icelemer Turkey

I was in a sexless marriage for years but I stuck with her through thick and thin as she was very ill until she past away nearly 2 years ago now so now I'm single and still not having sex with anyone, this virus diesnt bother me as I can wank yo relieve the frustration as I always do but ince its passed I would like to meet a regualr lady to have fun with and hoping that needle in a haystack will come to pass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a kik group chatting about this, PM me with kik name if you want to join, may help, may not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeh I live with someone but we don't have sex. Frustrating but there you go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would hate to be in a situation we do feel sorry for people who don’t have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your not happy in your relationship then move on life's to short. Hanging around hoping things will get better is no good for anyone, and coming on this site is not fair on you're partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your not happy in your relationship then move on life's to short. Hanging around hoping things will get better is no good for anyone, and coming on this site is not fair on you're partner. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Same position for the last couple of years. 11 years age gap. He’s 60 I’m 49. Tried so many times to sex it up but his sex drive is just zero.

Done the whole sexy outfits and underwear and he’s just not interested. Can only be rejected so many times... He constantly compliments me but never acts on anything. He can’t take viagra because of medication he is on .

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Yep - sex is special in my marriage cos it’s so rare! Missionary is the only thing allowed these days and for no more than about 10 mins then, having complained she’s too tired before we start, she then tells me it’s time to get to sleep! One year it only happened twice! I stay with her cos we’re great friends and for our daughter. We were 3x a day plus before she was born with all sorts of positions and oral, then, after giving birth, it all started stopping!

I personally suspect that lack of sex drive in anyone can be often linked to stress or depression. My wife’s quite stressed at work so that may be a factor. But I often get depressed but need a good shag to cheer me up but not everyone sees it from that perspective. When we’re apart we play away respectfully. We won’t break up but I do wish she was as horny as I am and allow oral both ways. It would transform everything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My relationship ended, largely in part to having no sex and the arguments is caused. I would never cheat so it was the only real option. "
Fair play and my thoughts exactly! Cheating isn’t a option if your unhappy either sort it out or leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Yes been like this for 5 years and more try so hard to make him want me but nothing works I’ve given up trying I’ve resolved to the fact this is how it’s going to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Yeah, I know exactly you saying...im in the same boat!

It’s so hard..you want her and she don’t want / need sex at all...and then what you do? You don’t want to cheat on her but still want sex as normal human being...????

Never going to understand these females, and then you go and cheat on her you’re like worst person on the planet? So have to deal with it? Wank all life? Wtf even.."

This!

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

Women do seem to have more issues around sex as they get older, than men do.

Fact of life.

Most fellas end up desiring younger women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My issue is my sex drive is higher than ever before. My husband cannot cope with it.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"My issue is my sex drive is higher than ever before. My husband cannot cope with it. "

My sex drive (N) has gone bonkers recently, over the last year or so. Fortunately, S is keeping up and wants to keep up. I don't know how I'd cope if he didn't. I'm like an oversexed teenager

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All these guys in sexless relationships.. Not a reason to go on an adult site and cheat tho is it. Pretty sure she hasn't a clue your on here

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By *ic_khan2341Man
over a year ago

Manchester

"All these guys in sexless relationships.. Not a reason to go on an adult site and cheat tho is it. Pretty sure she hasn't a clue your on here

They feel it is, that's why they are here

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"My issue is my sex drive is higher than ever before. My husband cannot cope with it. "

I'd love to be in that position

Seriously though I hope things even themselves up for you

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Same position for the last couple of years. 11 years age gap. He’s 60 I’m 49. Tried so many times to sex it up but his sex drive is just zero.

Agree completely on The rejection bit.It can cause major issues.

Hope you find a solution

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

+1 here, not married but my GF absolutely lacks a sex drive.

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Women do seem to have more issues around sex as they get older, than men do.

Fact of life.

Most fellas end up desiring younger women. "

It’s always the woman’s fault with you men isn’t it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am in a sexless relationship. i've tried coming on to him, buying sexy outfits the works. All i get is rejection so i dont bother trying anymore, i even avoid kissing or holding hands. After so much rejection it feels like going out with my cousin, he has absolutly no sexual urges what so ever.

i have tried talking about it but he just gets angry or upset

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By *aneyyMan
over a year ago

leeds

The crazy thing about these sorts of threads are that the women is nearly always the victim irrespective of the circumstances? Baffles me. I understand that women are more emotional than men but this is a two way street. In my humble opinion I think talking it out and trying to find some sort of middle ground is the way forward. But failing that men have feelings emotions and needs too and I don’t think a man should have to stick around forever as sex is a MASSIVE part of a relationship dynamic. If he cheats he’s the bad guy. If he applies pressure l, he’s the bad guy. I would say leave ( I know it’s not always easy, house kids history) but you honestly only live once and to end up resenting someone you love years down the line is a lot worse in my eyes. If you can’t reach a sexually compatible middle ground, leaving is the best bet for a guy in this case. My dad lived this for years and his one regret is he didn’t end things years earlier and stayed amicable. Good luck

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By *xMFM3sumsxxWoman
over a year ago

SouthWest Lancashire

I was but ended it.

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"I am in a sexless relationship. i've tried coming on to him, buying sexy outfits the works. All i get is rejection so i dont bother trying anymore, i even avoid kissing or holding hands. After so much rejection it feels like going out with my cousin, he has absolutly no sexual urges what so ever.

i have tried talking about it but he just gets angry or upset"

Because I have been in your position..I cant imagine ever not wanting sex (maybe because I was starved of it for 10 years)

If you have talked to him you need to find out if you can go through the rest of your life feeling like that.I couldnt.

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"All these guys in sexless relationships.. Not a reason to go on an adult site and cheat tho is it. Pretty sure she hasn't a clue your on here

My wife knows perfectly well I’m on here!

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"Women do seem to have more issues around sex as they get older, than men do.

Fact of life.

Most fellas end up desiring younger women.

It’s always the woman’s fault with you men isn’t it? "

I disagree, but it there is a tendency. We have more testosterone than women so generally need more sex than they do. It’s not necessarily the fault of either sex. It’s just how we’re all wired by nature!

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Women do seem to have more issues around sex as they get older, than men do.

Fact of life.

Most fellas end up desiring younger women.

It’s always the woman’s fault with you men isn’t it?

After what I’ve seen in clubs and how I am I disagree that men need more sex than women. Men generally don’t like taking any blame for a dwindling sex drive! They expect us to dress up, make things more spicy and what do they do....? Expect us to make the magic happen. Yes harsh words I speak but I think lots of females here can relate to what I’m saying....! I’m not having a pop at men but they do tend to blame us when sex dwindles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A relationship is far more than sex it's about a partnership.My partner has no sex drive it just doesnt interest her in every other way we are perfect good parents we also run multiple businesses together I love her company more than any others you can still love deeply without sex and have sex without love,the other option is to keep making her feel guilty about her not wanting sex,to be honest sex with one partner only enjoying it is not enjoyable for anyone.Not looking for permission or acceptance from anyone this way works for me it's not how I wanted life to be but life is like that.

I have found a balance that works.

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By *artin ramseyMan
over a year ago

kendal

Yep 10 years now .love her to bits but I have needs found being in my fifty's women not interested but plenty of men so I gave it a go and yes I'm now bi still looking for a regular woman but till then I'm having sex with men TVs crossdresser and I do enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Hope you've got a hard hat

Brace yourself for a lot of holier than thou judgemental attacks from people who say they understand but really don't. It is not a simple matter.

They only have their own experiences, not yours.

I'm in a similar situation (for 18 years) so I do get it. The problem, that is. It is possible to still live a spouse yet need something they can no longer give. Rock meet hard place.

Life issues don't always have convenient solutions, but I wish you well, and your spouse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All these guys in sexless relationships.. Not a reason to go on an adult site and cheat tho is it. Pretty sure she hasn't a clue your on here

They feel it is, that's why they are here"

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

For 17 years. It's why I am now in the lifestyle and have the style of relationships I do.

I would not tolerate it any more.

Plenty of swingers have the same story.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"All these guys in sexless relationships.. Not a reason to go on an adult site and cheat tho is it. Pretty sure she hasn't a clue your on here

Well, obviously, for lots of people it *is* a reason to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not going to judge but to all you peeps in relationships, whether your partners know or not, please state so on your profiles so that those potentially meeting you can make informed decisions.

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By *ilverminxWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Intimacy comes on so many levels and only when you talk to your partner will you start to find out.

You can leave and sometimes it’s the right thing to do. Saying you can’t because you love your wife , and then cheating on her ? And using kids as an excuse ?

You have two choices, you know what they are , the current option isn’t one. Be a man and either stop cheating and work on your marriage or leave. "

This ^^^^ was in a sexless marriage for years. Killed my confidence. Took no pride in myself. Was constantly put down for wanting any kind of touch. Was an absolute zombie. Then found out he was cheating and kicked him out. Took years to rebuild myself and haven’t looked back. Never cheated on him and was devastated when I learnt about what had been going on. One of the many reasons I won’t meet attached people..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we all know being gay in the 70s and 80s was not as acceptable

We was married for 22 years and rarely had sex l suffered a breakdown

Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell her in 2007, she said she never knew l was isolated because l wouldn't of hurt her

I was at suicidal point at the time of coming out

She didn't want a divorce she was happy me just using the net to fore fill my sexual needs

But l told her we was both only 42 and needed to move on and go our separate ways YES I WAS THE ONE TO BLAME BUT

She has turned my 3 grown up sons against me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As we all know being gay in the 70s and 80s was not as acceptable

We was married for 22 years and rarely had sex l suffered a breakdown

Eventually I plucked up the courage to tell her in 2007, she said she never knew l was isolated because l wouldn't of hurt her

I was at suicidal point at the time of coming out

She didn't want a divorce she was happy me just using the net to fore fill my sexual needs

But l told her we was both only 42 and needed to move on and go our separate ways YES I WAS THE ONE TO BLAME BUT

She has turned my 3 grown up sons against me

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Well this is a great thread, and I'm glad that someone posted it.

I've been married 3 times.

First time for 18 years, great marriage, 2 beautiful children, and she remains one of my best friends. Our sex life was hit and miss, maybe because to begin I was in the Navy and away a lot. So periods at home were like meeting again and the first passions.

Then I left the Navy, we still had great sex, but now it was always there, and we went through spells where we just didn't. Other issues, and slowly we drifted apart. The internet came along and I started using chat sites, chatting to different women got me excited again. My wife also chatted and she too found herself chatted up, this made her feel good. We even had a online 4 some with a couple from Australia via microphones, listening to each other fucking. However this did lead to us calling it a day, as we both realised we weren't happy with our lives.

Well I did the normal thing, met someone online, met up, moved in together, got married, and then realised that I didn't really know her, rebound syndrome. Sex again was good, but she used it as a way of appeasing me when she was doing something wrong, (compulsive gambler, addictive personality) . Then she had a prolapse in her vagina, making sex painful. So she stopped, nothing, then all the accusations, if I talked about a female work colleague or look at another woman, I had to be fucking them. Eventually I had enough, and marriage 2 over.

This time I thought take a year off, don't date, don't even look. 12 months later, I join a dating site. I soon meet someone, we get on well, sex is great, I'm older and wiser and know that we can't go on forever. After 2 years we get engaged, then not long after she announced that she no longer wants sex, she just doesn't feel it anymore.

So here I am, I love her dearly, but no sex, well I'm thinking maybe it will change, so go ahead and get married.

Now no sex isn't really the problem, what is, is the lack of any intimacy, no kissing, I mean real kissing, cuddling, closeness. I can't live without that, not only that, frustration leads to situations where you argue, now you normally make up, one or both admit they're in the wrong, you have a kiss cuddle sex etc, all right in the world. If that's not available, it festers, and the littlest of things become big issues. Eventually that marriage breaks down.

I find myself disillusioned, and after a gap of 43 years decide to see if it's better with a man. Now to begin with I feel wow this is it, loads of sex, new experiences, no baggage, just pure sexual fun.

I meet one guy I like, sex is good, i stick with him for a few months and the sex gets better and better, but then I realise I'm getting drawn in again, and regretfully end the relationship, not just for me but for him.

I now realise it's not really the sex that's the issue with me, it's actually dealing with relationships.

I need to be alone, and just enjoy sex as it comes along, throw my all into the moment and enjoy life, no baggage no big deal if good or bad.

So it's not the sex of the person I'm with, it's the fact that I'm not good at relationships.

I'm now happy, and I mean real happy, I have freedom to do what I want, to see who I want, to have or not have sex. Yes it would be lovely to have that special someone, but I've been hurt by the breakdown of my relationships, each time you doubt love is really out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Married for 35 years gone from 3 times a day to 3 times a year

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Married for 35 years gone from 3 times a day to 3 times a year"

Soon be 3 years a time!

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

RENEX20........Interesting to hear your experiences...

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

"RENEX20........Interesting to hear your experiences..."

Yes very interesting. I think being able to listen and understanding a women’s needs is something a lot of men struggle with. The quality and frequency of sex is often just a reflection of that. We’ve been together 27 years and if we go through a bad spell sex will be affected, so I’m immediately reminded to apologise and treat her like a princess again, it’s not rocket science. Most physical problems can be overcome if you both try and even in extreme cases there are alternatives, but it’s often easier for men to just give up.

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"RENEX20........Interesting to hear your experiences...

My last wife did suggest I go off and have sex with someone else as she felt she was letting me down. I didn't do that or wanted to do that, I was hoping things would improve, or help found, but she just gave up on it.

Sometimes no matter what you say or do, it just breaks down.

However life goes on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep, been there. A decade with a man that had no interest in me sexually and continually turned me down so I stopped trying. I knew from the beginning I had a much higher sex drive than him but it got a lot worse.

Ruined my confidence and self esteem and made me resent him.

Leaving him was the hardest and best decision I ever made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

Cant agree more, no intimacy at home let alone sex, no connection or desire. its bloody lonely! life's too short to live this way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We both had this. Both in relationships for over 10 years where we didn't get what we needed sexually and it really gets you down.

We both took the plunge and ended things and then met each other and have never looked back. Both have everything we have always wanted.

Cant agree more, no intimacy at home let alone sex, no connection or desire. its bloody lonely! life's too short to live this way"

Totally agree x

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By *arry monk40Man
over a year ago

Telford

It's more common than you think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have tried talking about it but he just gets angry or upset"

I’m in exactly the same position as you I can’t talk with my Mrs she just gets aggressive. She has several illnesses which I understand. But it has dented my confidence too such an extent I’m now very shy

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By *ionelhutzMan
over a year ago

liverpool

"Well this is a great thread, and I'm glad that someone posted it.

I've been married 3 times.

So here I am, I love her dearly, but no sex, well I'm thinking maybe it will change, so go ahead and get married.

I now realise it's not really the sex that's the issue with me, it's actually dealing with relationships.

I need to be alone, and just enjoy sex as it comes along, throw my all into the moment and enjoy life, no baggage no big deal if good or bad.

So it's not the sex of the person I'm with, it's the fact that I'm not good at relationships.

I wouldn't say you are no good at relationship..you have put yourself out there and wont settle for 2nd best.

I had 10 years of someone with a low sex drive until it finally dawned on me that it wouldnt work.

Then I met someone and had the most incredible sex of my life(hers too) we had it all but that didnt last neither.

Finding the right person is extremely hard.

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"Finding the right person is extremely hard. "

OH, how true !!! Oh, how true !! Have just met someone 15 years my junior. We are happy in the moment. Have no idea where we are headed longer term.. Totally out of the blue and unexpected for us both.

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By *aldyman500Man
over a year ago

Enfield

It is actually amazing a good friend of mine’s wife was lazy and really let herself go showing him no attention. When he left her for a stunning lady older than his wife, his wife hit the gym new hair makeup clothes etc and is tell beautiful and now I’m fucking her four or five nights a week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Married for 35 years gone from 3 times a day to 3 times a year

Soon be 3 years a time!"

If you're lucky. 18 year hiatus for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in a dead bedroom situation too. It's not nice but there you go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is actually amazing a good friend of mine’s wife was lazy and really let herself go showing him no attention. When he left her for a stunning lady older than his wife, his wife hit the gym new hair makeup clothes etc and is tell beautiful and now I’m fucking her four or five nights a week. "

Haha interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/03/20 13:50:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haha interesting

"Good friend"

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By *untop7Man
over a year ago

Eaton

So young and in sexless marriage? Such a shame.. so are you totally str8 or bi?

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By *untop7Man
over a year ago

Eaton

But now you're free and hopefully enjoying both sexes immensely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes that’s why I am looking here

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By *untop7Man
over a year ago

Eaton

Understand and hope you get the pleasure you require.. you say bisexual but not wanting to chat to guys?

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

i have tried talking about it but he just gets angry or upset

It does dent your confidence, it left me no longer wanting to be with a woman, I switched and tried men, I loved it, more for the sexual freedom, not a relationship, then realised maybe that's my issue. So now happy to go each way, both enjoying, but no stress involved that comes from keeping someone happy all the time.

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

"Finding the right person is extremely hard.

I think it's about grabbing the moment, enjoying it, and if it last great, if not, move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this problem with my 2nd wife, lucky number 3 now

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

Looking at all the replies on here, makes you realise how important intimacy is in any relationship, being good friends is important, being good lovers is up there as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From my experience (Male here) I had a relation with a younger lass who didn’t like sex, we had sex about 3 times in a year at first I wasn’t bothered but it ate and ate and ate at me, we talked I didn’t get a answer, it was sending me mental for all the reasons above, I didn’t cheat or anything we split up and now I’ve met some one perfect who loves all the needed love, sex, cares.

Talk and if that doesn’t work give it a little time then talk again and then make your mind up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happened to an older woman I used to work with, her story was an interesting one!

She didn’t actually lose interest in sex, she lost interest in sex with her husband, she wasn’t attracted to him anymore, he had let himself go, never made an effort, she did all the housework etc & yet he moaned at her for the lack of intimacy.

She ended up getting depressed, had therapy, lost loads of weight, left the husband and found someone else and from the last I spoke to her she was engaged.

This isn’t a unique story either, it could be that many wives lose interest in sex with their husbands, not sex in general. Sad but probably the truth for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I join the club of a sexless marriage love my wife but sex is a part I miss no touching in bed she turns over listening to music on her iPhone , so I tend to have a wank in the mornings before work , I do love this site it is a release for me I have never strayed but it does pray on mind , stay safe all xx

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By *eardedM01Man
over a year ago

Slough

This is actually very common and can be for a variety of reasons.

- Not showing enough attention/understanding

- A bad sexual experience in the past

- Conservative upbringing

- lack of communication between partners

You cant solve the problem without finding out what is causing the problem.

Believe it or not, many men are too scared to have an honest discussion with their partner.

Talk about what you want, what she wants (both in and out of the bed) and see if you can compromise.

If you can't, either suck it up, or leave . If it bothers you that much, your relationship is not going to last too long !

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By *anuel ducatiMan
over a year ago

leyburn

Hi, you are not alone my friend, I haven't had sex at all for 3 years, my profile explains everything. I live in hope of finding a sympathetic, understanding woman or couple. I've tried other websites but they are no better, anybody have any ideas?, stay safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

I don't want to have sex with my hubby. He's a TV and his thing really really isn't mine. The situation has developed over time, I simply accept it's not going to happen and that it's my choice not to participate. He does his thing, I do mine.

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By *allyandJonCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Interesting thread, we really feel for people in this circumstance. We often play with singles who are in this position either on the beach (discretely) or in a club. They don't want the marriage to end, but do seek physical pleasure and some easy going swinging seems a way of accommodating this and having fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly. Its all out in the open, We both know what the other gets upto. We just do not play together.

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By *itzimadCouple
over a year ago

harwich

i cant imagine a marriage without sex were 40 years married this year and 47 together we both know the drive is dwindling but still have sex at least once a month often more it seems to rekindle then go again

weve been swingers for over 20 years and weve heard the sexless marriage story of so many couples who are second time around one guy his wife actually told him on their wedding night that they wouldn't be having sex again even though up till then it had been a regular thing

i dont think people realise how a vastly different sex drive is going to affect their relationship until its too late

it doesnt matter if you both only want it once a year or every night its incompatibility thats the killer

Also im not sure that sex seems so important when your young and in the first flush of love its as nyou go into your 30's it seems to become more of a need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My issue is my sex drive is higher than ever before. My husband cannot cope with it. "

Really? You'd be getting it twice a day without fail from me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m sure when she finds out you’re on here, you’ll get loads from her.

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By *otwife and MasterCouple
over a year ago

Derby

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

Don't talk to people on here, talk to her and find out why.Maybe she knows you are on here without her consent. Ask her to go to relationship counselling or see a doctor if its medical. If she won't, leave.

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

Just a thought here from female point of view. My last marriage was 13 years. He cheated after 6 years for the first time. Then marriage ended when he got with the 2nd one. Our sex life was acceptable. We had a regular sex life but that was the trouble from my point of view. Sexy life!! I didn’t want sex all the time. I wanted and needed him to make love to me! He had become very routined in the bedroom too.

Thank god my sexy adorable hubby I’m with now, knows how to mix it up. He have quickies, we have sex, we also have long sensual love making. He knows how to read my body. He isn’t routined and does little things. Sounds daft, but he’ll bring me a cuppa in the bath and wash my back, and tell me what turns him on about me. Makes a difference when I feel sexy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

If your unhappy leave, mental state of mind should take priority. You have 1 life. Live it to the full

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not going to judge but to all you peeps in relationships, whether your partners know or not, please state so on your profiles so that those potentially meeting you can make informed decisions. "

Took the words right out of my mouth, i was also in a sexless relationship i packed my bags and left. Not come on a swinger site and cheat.

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By *oppy CheeksWoman
over a year ago

Huddersfield

Agree totally with what this lady is saying. It is not just women who go off sex though, men do too. I have been with my OH nearly 3 years & it has never been that sexual. His choice not mine. Have tried everything & had several open & honest conversations with him about it, about the importance of it & how it makes me feel. Have reached stalemate now as he has openly said he is not into it & never has been. So I see that I have 3 options 1) put up & shut up & enjoy all the other good aspects of the relationship (companionship, common interests etc), 2) stay & have a FWB on the side or 3) leave & try & find someone who I am more sexually compatible with. At the moment I am following option 2 but I know it is not a long term solution & I am trying to muster up the courage for option 3 as ultimately sex is a big part of a relationship & if you don’t have that sexual chemistry with the one you love & feel rejected by then, can it fulfill you long term?

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"I am in a sexless marriage . It is so hard when you want your wife to want to have sexy with me. But she don’t.

Are other people in the same position?

It's not just you though, your wife doesn't want to have sexy with me anymore either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have been together for 22 years, we've been through some really tough times, financially and emotionally.

Quite some time ago now after a particularly traumatic situation involving the whole family our sex life just ground to a halt. It was all down to me (Mrs) I simply didn't want sex and the longer I went without it the less and less important it became to me. We didn't have any physical connection at all for 18 months, I wouldn't even kiss him because I felt if I kissed him he'd think there was more to come. Looking back I think we did something I wouldn't necessarily condone, and stayed together for the kids. We were more like work colleagues, working together to keep the house going and bring up the kids. Then gradually things became more emotionally stable for me and I realised just what a sacrifice my amazing husband had made in standing by me without reward. Even after that we still didn't really talk, I made a move on him one day and slowly things moved on from there.

I was in the bath the other day and it dawned on me that our relationship is totally different now to even a few years ago. We no longer have financial stresses, our children have grown up and we're both much more relaxed and in a far better place mentally and emotionally. Which has meant we've had more time to put into eachother and our relationship, we laugh now. I can honestly say we really didn't laugh much when life was so stressful.

I'm so glad we made it through the tough times because what we have now I would consider the perfect relationship.

That said, you can't wait forever but I've found this to be a very charged topic of conversation when you're living it, so my advice would be to write her a letter, start with all the positives, how much you love her, what a great mum she is? How much you still fancy her. Tell her that although you're missing sex you want to try and understand it from her pint of view. Maybe suggest going back to the start, date her! This doesn't have to be expensive (or even out at the mo) we often have date night, just the two of us at home (before the bloody teens came home from uni!) we get dressed up, sexy undies and all, cook a nice dinner, sit at the table and just talk (this is not the time to bring up the sex) have a couple of glasses of wine and watch a film. No pressure, hold her hand maybe and give her a kiss on the cheek then call it a day. Hopefully this will make her realise that's you've got love on your mind not just sex. But at some point if things don't get better you need to have 'that' conversation, it's true sometimes we grow apart and simply fall out of love with someone but lack of sex by no means means she doesn't love you.

But having guilt of cheating is another angle that might make it difficult for you.

Much love

Dani x

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By *eerobCouple
over a year ago

solihull

"We have been together for 22 years, we've been through some really tough times, financially and emotionally.

I'm so glad we made it through the tough times because what we have now I would consider the perfect relationship.

But having guilt of cheating is another angle that might make it difficult for you.

Much love

Dani x

What an uplifting piece of advice.well done. Xxx

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

"We have been together for 22 years, we've been through some really tough times, financially and emotionally.

I'm so glad we made it through the tough times because what we have now I would consider the perfect relationship.

But having guilt of cheating is another angle that might make it difficult for you.

Much love

Dani x

Wonderful advice xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Paul,

Sorry if I may be repeating what others have said, but there was just too much to read through.

Jasmine and I have been together for over 22 years and have been married for almost 19 years. We've been through our fair share of ups and downs, but generally we have a great relationship.

My first advice would be for you and your wife to sit down and discuss these issues. Intimacy in a relationship is very important. There is no real "average" or set amount of times the both of you need to be intimate, but it must be something the both of you are happy and satisfied with.

The following is what I believe:

1. Gender Differences

The first thing I would like to address is the nature of men and women. Men and women are different! No matter what people say and how much "gender equality" comes into play and what people will say to themselves, they are different.

What does a man want from a relationship? Ultimately, he wants to be respected (to be the MAN) and he wants his basic sexual needs met. For men the act of intimacy is the way they show love. That is it. Men are very simple creatures. Men usually like to get things done and tend to use very few words. They want things said to the point and not waste time talking about "feelings".

Women on the other hand want to be cared for and be given emotional support. To know they are cherished, needed and protected. For them being given comforting words, non-sexual touching and attention is the form in which love is communicated.

This understanding helped me and Jasmine a lot.

2. Stages in relationship

Relationships go through phases. The one people are probably most familiar with is what I like to call the “honeymoon phase”. This is the time when there are butterflies in the stomach and the couple can't live without each other. This is due to chemicals released in our body.

Men who predominantly have testosterone in their body, release more oxytocin (the cuddly hormone), in the beginning of a relationship. This makes them want to care and caress more. For women they release more testosterone during this time and their libido increases. So, both the man and the woman receive what they want from the relationship.

Fortunately, and unfortunately, this doesn’t last forever, and when this phase comes to an end, the relationship will move on to another level. By understanding this change in state, coupled with the differences in gender can help people to maintain a strong relationship.

This is when the men need to continue to give their wife attention. Giving regular small gifts. These don't need to be expensive, even writing little love notes and leaving them for your wife where she can find them always works a charm. This will be the language of love that your wife will understand and hopefully will respond well to. Although, initially if it is out of character for you to do these gestures, you need to continue them to make sure she overcomes the “suspicion” of why you are doing it. You just need to stay committed to it and show your love towards her.

For men, they generally need to feel respect by their wife. They need the sexual intimacy and this is the way men understand love.

Try new things, spice things up. This will help. Bring back the romance and start dating again. Have time out with just the two of you. If you have children maybe, ask a family member or a close friend to look after them every once in a while, so the two of you can reconnect and rekindle the love.

When it comes to sexual desires, men are like microwaves. They turn on and are ready with a switch of a button. Women on the other hand are like ovens. They need to warm up gradually until they're ready. This is the foreplay. The goal for men is usually the end release, for women it's all in the build-up (ok, not all but majority of it anyway).

Sweet, sexy and flirtatious texts are great especially if you are not together in the daytime. Flowers, chocolates and dinner wouldn't go a miss either.

This problem is something the two of you need to work out together. You need to sit down and discuss matters. Marriage counselling is an option too.

Obviously, this is very generic advice.

Jasmine and I were lucky to have then also attended a a marriage course a few years ago now, which made things even better. We were able to understand each other and even now when we go through a low patch, it helps to understand what the other person is going through.

This has become far longer than I was intending, but I hope it helps in some way.

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By *eediousMan
over a year ago

Smallville

Interesting thread.

One thing that stuck with me was RNEX’s post.

As humans, we are not wired to be monogamous. Our relationships are as unnatural as they come. What we think is normal is actually not. What is normal is not being sexually attracted to just one person and always having it that way. That is so abnormal.

After centrifuges of evolving, one thing that has not changed is our attitude to sex and marriage. Marriage has not evolved much.

Love is different from sex and sex should be with as many people as possible. That is something that we have to adjust towards..

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

Sexless marriage! Those terms go so well together. I married a nymphomaniac! Child came! Sex fizzled out pretty soon! And in came the restricted rules - suddenly no oral, no doggy, no outside sex, no this, no that, no spoons... basically leaving just missionary! That’s all that’s been allowed for years now! Every now and then I’m allowed to hop on for five minutes until she decides it’s time for her to sleep or she cums and that’s enough! End! For another few weeks or months! No wonder we both play away - well she says she does but I doubt it. How many other guys will put up with only missionary! Thanks go my other gfs for helping me out. If it wasn’t for them I’d have gone insane!

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

Yep,

Very sexless,

Shes even told me she hates sex,

So then its me then.

(hence why im on here)

If your with someone you fancy them still after many years,

And once that goes you loose interest in that person,

I know she loves me but shes not in love with me, she has told me this as well,you only live once,

Why do i have to miss out on a sex life,

I enjoy sex,

Who does'nt right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

"
better to walk away than cheat

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

That’s a very debatable point! And if your spouse isn’t into sex and you have a loving marriage but just sex on the side, which doesn’t interfere with the love in your marriage, I would suggest ‘cheating’ is not quite the right description. If I love lasagne and my wife doesn’t and refuses to cook it or let me cook it, am I cheating if I pop round to a restaurant for a lasagne when she’s away? No! But when we make the same argument about marriage and sex instead of lasagne, yes, it’s suddenly cheating and morally wrong! This does not actually make a lot of sense! Now, if I made a contract with my wife that under no circumstances was I ever allowed to eat lasagne, that is arguably cheating, but if I clean my teeth afterwards so she never knows I’ve eaten lasagne, she’s happy and so am I! That sounds like a happy marriage!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

Not always that easy I'm afraid or else I would have done so already ;(

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

In my opinion you can't compare food and sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

No comparison.

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By *oeofsussexMan
over a year ago

Eastbourne

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

In my opinion you can't compare food and sex"

Really! Personally I think they’re both great! Couldn’t live without ‘em! In fact, I like to mix the two together as often as possible!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I lasted about 2 months in a sexless marriage fuck that get out soon as you can. You will never regret it

You walked away after only 2 months of no sex?

better to walk away than cheat

In my opinion you can't compare food and sex

Really! Personally I think they’re both great! Couldn’t live without ‘em! In fact, I like to mix the two together as often as possible! "

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