FabSwingers.com forum: Face Pics - Has anyone ever had a bad experience?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have any users on this site had a bad experience with sharing face pics? Did it get back to people you work with or work for? Did it ruin a relationship? Did someone, who you didn't want to know about your lifestyle, find out?

Just curious, as people are pressured into having face pics or not having face pics. It's understandable that people should see what you look like and vice versa, but i know there are tons of users, who have sent a face pic, or fully nude pic etc., and might never find out who the person(s) requesting it is.

I don't like sending them, (but i still do after a few messages) because I may never get a job in my profession if they were ever found, which is the case with a lot of people. So i do trust a lot with people online when it comes to this.

anyone have thoughts on this?

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

We had a terrible experience, but we just didn't meet them!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"We had a terrible experience, but we just didn't meet them!

OP no, but then i totally understand why some people are very cautious. As with all things it is about risk assessment and the risk you are willing to take.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im aware of 2 people with profiles on here who I know in ordinary life....ones a male work collegue who I recognized from a face piccy...he is unaware off me though. Other is a single female who was in same class as me at school and she knows im here and we chat all time here about swinging etc. i dont think Ive been recognized from sending mine out tho xxx

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yeah it's a weird one, i live in a small enough town in ireland, and it is very easy to bump into people you know, or worse still, are related to!

so i've become very cautious about what i give out to people. i suppose be as common sense as possible, make sure you know who you're talking to is who they say they are, and go from there

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

OP.. You do have a problem, living in a small town and having family and friends living around you. In your situation, I would only agree to meet people from a distance away and only send face pictures (or pictures that would identify you) to those who live a suitable distance away.

For us it is not an issue, but I can just say that if someone asks for our picture and they know us... At least it would give us someone to have a laugh with and be able to chat about anything!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Years ago we had our face pic on our profile, some friends (a couple) of 's mum printed off our profile to show her. she called us round for a chat about it. Slightly embarrassing.

Asked why they were on the site and she refused to believe they were on for the same thing.

She stopped babysitting for us for years. She's started again now and I think she knows but it doesn't get discussed with her, she humours our lies as to where we have been.

We still put our face pics up from time to time, so lesson not learned haha.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yeah i totally agree, the majority of people have the same reservations, so when they realise they know each other it's not gonna be that awkward and makes it a bit easier.

Haven't had any local meets yet so prob will move a bit further afield from now on when messaging people.

as the saying goes 'a dog doesn't shit on his own doorstep'

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Years ago we had our face pic on our profile, some friends (a couple) of 's mum printed off our profile to show her. she called us round for a chat about it. Slightly embarrassing.

Asked why they were on the site and she refused to believe they were on for the same thing.

She stopped babysitting for us for years. She's started again now and I think she knows but it doesn't get discussed with her, she humours our lies as to where we have been.

We still put our face pics up from time to time, so lesson not learned haha."

that's exactly what i was wondering. people like his mum's friends shouldn't be doing that, really, but it is so easy for it to be done. I would be fairly pissed off if i were you. Your sex lives are no business of anyone elses surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never had a bad experience, i have had people come upto me while im out because they recognise me from off here tho, or have people mail me on here telling they saw me in ceretain places but wasnt sure if they should say hi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"that's exactly what i was wondering. people like his mum's friends shouldn't be doing that, really, but it is so easy for it to be done. I would be fairly pissed off if i were you. Your sex lives are no business of anyone elses surely?"

Dam right its no one elses buisness...but when did that ever stop the whispers and lies being spread !

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Dam right its no one elses buisness...but when did that ever stop the whispers and lies being spread !

yeah i would be getting revenge for that one! ha

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By *amsohotWoman
over a year ago

Inner London

Soooo funny

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

as the saying goes 'a dog doesn't shit on his own doorstep'

A saying I detest, hence I never meet anyone who doesn't accommodate after that was said to me.

Nine years to lovingly renovate my home to invite someone in for them to say that?!!

...I digress...

No one should feel pressurised into doing anything they're not comfortable with. I do get bored with the "cant have a photo up because of my job" brigade. There's nothing to prevent you having a picture in private as most of us have. I simply don't talk to let alone meet people who won't show their face.

I may be missing something but what difference does the size of the community you live in make? You can't find and register on here by accident so why do people get their panties in a bunch being seen by people they know? Do they carry that same paranoia into clubs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The whole insistence on a face pic thing really irritates me. For a start, they can be easily faked. Or be from ten years ago. I always offer to show my face on cam, but for some people, only a face pic will do. I really don't get it.

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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago

NeverWhere

I have private face pics that I send with messages and for friends only . I think is only fare that you get to see who you are talking to and to see if their is any phisical attraction !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had a message on here from a couple who'd seen us walking our dog and had recognised us from our face pic.

The funny thing is, we don't have a dog.

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

I don't send pics or have face pics in my private gallery. I have a cam at my convenience to show who I am to potential meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Years ago we had our face pic on our profile, some friends (a couple) of 's mum printed off our profile to show her. she called us round for a chat about it. Slightly embarrassing.

Asked why they were on the site and she refused to believe they were on for the same thing.

She stopped babysitting for us for years. She's started again now and I think she knows but it doesn't get discussed with her, she humours our lies as to where we have been.

We still put our face pics up from time to time, so lesson not learned haha."

the wifes sister did this to us and showed it to my mother inlaw caused one hell of a argument as she denied being on here so we found her profile and showed it to the mother inlaw that put a stop to it straight away as the sister is married and her hubby didnt know she was on here she soon left the site

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By *ilmiss75Woman
over a year ago

Thornton

"I don't send pics or have face pics in my private gallery. I have a cam at my convenience to show who I am to potential meets. "

But yes.. My cousin is on here too.. I found out from him watching me on cam one night lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't send pics or have face pics in my private gallery. I have a cam at my convenience to show who I am to potential meets. "

Exactly, and that should be good enough. "You don't have a face pic so I'm not talking to you" is just rude IMO.

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By *essesCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

as the saying goes 'a dog doesn't shit on his own doorstep'

A saying I detest, hence I never meet anyone who doesn't accommodate after that was said to me.

Nine years to lovingly renovate my home to invite someone in for them to say that?!!

...I digress...

We do have face photos and show them, when sending a message but we don't have them on our public page, as the thing with living in a small village is, that everyone knows everyone and they do enjoy a good gossip and so it only takes one nosy 20 year old to see your face pic and for you to be the talk of the village. Clubs are different, as making an account here is easy and you can remain anonymous, whereas if someone sees you in a club, they are more likely to be "real" swingers and so know to be discreet.

Lisa

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

we got sent pics, and i reckognised the guy from somewhere i used to work, so didnt send any in reply, and lef tit there. not mine or nyone elses business what we get up to on here, so wouldnt even dream of 'outing' anyone.

Em has the same problem as OP as she lives in a small village in ireland so we tend to look for meets away from there (say Dublin or the like)

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I have a rule for myself, if its showing my face its not showing anything else id be ashamed of other people seeing, like my mother ect. If there very explicit they dont show my face so would be much harder to know it was me

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

I have face pics in private for friends only. I do insist on face pics from men though (when I am meeting) as naturally I won't know if I am attracted to someone or not without seeing their face. I never send face pics first, I insist on the other party sending them and I then respond with one. There are a lot of members local to me. I have shared my pictures with a couple who i have built up a rapport with, however there is a guy who is pestering me for face pics and I just have the feeling he would run up to me in the street if he saw me in town. I would HATE that so have just kept refusing. perhaps he will get the message. Otherwise I will be utilising the block button!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you guys tell me why face pics are any better than showing your face on cam? For me, I'd sooner do that. A pic can be faked, or it it's real, downloaded. I value my privacy like the OP.

I've had point blank refusals from people just because of the face pic issue, even though I've got the cam.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/12 11:37:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Afew points:

How so freakin rude of them to take the liberty of printing out and showing to the inlaws, what truely horrible, sad, two faced people - bet they had a big smile on their face when they did it.

Ive got a msg from someone I used to work with, but didn't reply or tell anyone that knew him.

Had my face pic nicked and used for a fake and very saucy profile which was found by my cousins fiance - again, what was he doing there.

I usually wont speak to people if they wont share a face pic. I know it's a bit harsh, but have had it a few times where I've been chatting to someone, getting on really well - and then when I've seen them, theres no attraction. And by attraction, Im not after super goodlooking people, just something semi pleasant to look at! lol

And what professions would not allow you to be a swinger?? can only think of clergyman

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"Can you guys tell me why face pics are any better than showing your face on cam? For me, I'd sooner do that. A pic can be faked, or it it's real, downloaded. I value my privacy like the OP.

I've had point blank refusals from people just because of the face pic issue, even though I've got the cam. "

Cam isn't convenient for everyone. My cam rarely works on here, and it rarely works for me to view cams. I can generally tell if a picture is fake.

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"Afew points:

How so freakin rude of them to take the liberty of printing out and showing to the inlaws, what truely horrible, sad, two faced people - bet they had a big smile on their face when they did it.

Ive got a msg from someone I used to work with, but didn't reply or tell anyone that knew him.

Had my face pic nicked and used for a fake and very saucy profile which was found by my cousins fiance - again, what was he doing there.

And what professions would not allow you to be a swinger?? can only think of clergyman

I agree-it might seem harsh but you are within your rights to do so! I am the same, might as well send a face pic right at the beginning so as not to waste anyone's time. I agree with your comment about professions too. I hate that when people say I can't send a face pic because of my job. Sex isn't illegal! Nor is swinging.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

"Can you guys tell me why face pics are any better than showing your face on cam? For me, I'd sooner do that. A pic can be faked, or it it's real, downloaded. I value my privacy like the OP.

I've had point blank refusals from people just because of the face pic issue, even though I've got the cam. "

we h8 the chatrooms on here, as they aget too busy, and the directing rooms, in our opinion, can get very aggressive, and its just not a turn on for us, so a face pic is always much preferred than cam.

also, when cams get involved, people seem to think its an open invitation to 'play' on cam, and again, thats not what we always fancy. some bloke showing his face for a couple of seconds, then showing his cock and telling Em he cant wait til she gets on the end of it jsut doesnt seem to do anything for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to show people what you look like .... I wouldn't meet someone if I hadn't seen their picture.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Afew points:

How so freakin rude of them to take the liberty of printing out and showing to the inlaws, what truely horrible, sad, two faced people - bet they had a big smile on their face when they did it.

Ive got a msg from someone I used to work with, but didn't reply or tell anyone that knew him.

Had my face pic nicked and used for a fake and very saucy profile which was found by my cousins fiance - again, what was he doing there.

And what professions would not allow you to be a swinger?? can only think of clergyman

Its not the illegality of it, it's the attitudes that some people have towards it.

There was a documentary on it in Ireland last couple of months and it was made out to be this sleazy underground community and that it was a negative thing if you went to swinger parties and gangbangs. As if you were sexually deranged somehow.

now that's the worry i have, that someone who may share that idea, finds out that I am a member of a swinger site and treats me differently.

like those in-laws who printed out that womans profile, if there are people out there going about things like that i would be concerned.

otherwise i'm quite happy to send pics of my face, i just want to know how to avoid disaster!

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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago

NeverWhere

I can think of a few professionals who's jobs could think it was improper to be into swinging

Police, Fire, Ambulance, Doctors, Nurses, Prison Service, Probation officers, Social workers and people that work or come in contact with Children and so on.

I am one of them and would not want to risk my job just for sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though everyone having a face pic on their profile would make things a lot easier, I don't want to be recognised by my supermarket cashier or next door neighbour. i dont have issue with sending a face pic along with a msg -

if i am recognised, its only a face pic, nothing saucy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Afew points:

How so freakin rude of them to take the liberty of printing out and showing to the inlaws, what truely horrible, sad, two faced people - bet they had a big smile on their face when they did it.

Ive got a msg from someone I used to work with, but didn't reply or tell anyone that knew him.

Had my face pic nicked and used for a fake and very saucy profile which was found by my cousins fiance - again, what was he doing there.

And what professions would not allow you to be a swinger?? can only think of clergyman

Trust me - there's no end of jobs with clauses in the contracts relating to conduct likely to risk reputational damage to the business.

Just because swinging isn't illegal doesn't mean that being 'outed' won't cause the loss of your job, much in the same way that certain professions require client confidentaility. Whether right or wrong, once the company you work for loses faith in your ability to act in a professional manner on it's behalf - you're fucked!

And if you doubt this is true i know of several people who have been in exactly that situation, some of whom have lost their jobs (and subsequently their homes) and some who have had to relocate to keep theirs.

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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago

NeverWhere

"Afew points:

How so freakin rude of them to take the liberty of printing out and showing to the inlaws, what truely horrible, sad, two faced people - bet they had a big smile on their face when they did it.

Ive got a msg from someone I used to work with, but didn't reply or tell anyone that knew him.

Had my face pic nicked and used for a fake and very saucy profile which was found by my cousins fiance - again, what was he doing there.

And what professions would not allow you to be a swinger?? can only think of clergyman

Trust me - there's no end of jobs with clauses in the contracts relating to conduct likely to risk reputational damage to the business.

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By *eeds34Man
over a year ago

leeds

I was once on a site called dirty David's one of my private pictures was used by someone on a public profile which led to let's say some back peddling at work hence now I am

The grey man

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have offen been on the tram to Nottingham and seen a few people off here..

We find it rather naughty when we know people know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like to see face pics as there has to be some attraction. The pics don't have to be public though, I understand why people don't want to show their faces. I send face pics that I have elsewhere on the internet, like Facebook. If someone ever gets weird with me or tries to 'out' me I plan to say that someone stole my pic off t'internet and made a fake profile. Hoping that will work...

I never have my head on my pics on my profile for a similar reason. Got to be careful. People can be so judgemental in all walks of life, I don't want people knowing my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone messaged nik via facebook asking to meet him and his girlfriend.he obviously recognised her.

she ignored and he has not said anything else.

as for face pics,we show them,so expect the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Years ago we had our face pic on our profile, some friends (a couple) of 's mum printed off our profile to show her. she called us round for a chat about it. Slightly embarrassing.

Asked why they were on the site and she refused to believe they were on for the same thing.

She stopped babysitting for us for years. She's started again now and I think she knows but it doesn't get discussed with her, she humours our lies as to where we have been.

We still put our face pics up from time to time, so lesson not learned haha.

Brilliant well done, what a stupid bitch she was.

Talk about people in glass houses and all that, we love it when mischief makers get their comeuppance!

XXXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have very public jobs and also live in a relatively small(both in mind and area)town.

However we've had no problems with having face pics on profile, or from people knowing what we do, including those we work with/for.

Probably because we're quite open about it makes us less of a target for arseholes.

It seems they're main pleasure is outing people and causing embarrassment, which is a lot easier to do to swingers they know are scared to death of being found out.

XXXX

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Well, I only have face pics in private, I never send incriminating pics out to anyone (full naked pics)

But then I am single with no kids, so in reality, I should and could be doing what the hell I like with no reprecussions, but I'm still carefull as hell who I befriend or send face pics to

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

"Have any users on this site had a bad experience with sharing face pics? Did it get back to people you work with or work for? Did it ruin a relationship? Did someone, who you didn't want to know about your lifestyle, find out?

anyone have thoughts on this? "

Op I so share your concerns. I never ever send face pics and make this very clear on my profile. I run the risk of committing professional suicide if they got into the wrong hands. Or what if I sent to a guy who turns out to be another parent at my son's school and things didn't work ou! Or he could be someone living in the same street etc. No No No way. If guys don't accept my point of view then things don't go any further .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe I should take mine off might get more look

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

"Maybe I should take mine off might get more look

If you're not concerned about having them there you're probably be better off with them rather than without them. I just can't risk it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's a good one for you. I had a message off a couple and after a few messages he sent us a face pic. He was a local councillor where I used to live but he didn't know who I was

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

[Removed by poster at 10/05/12 21:01:20]

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

using this site, and another, I have seen a few people I know, one a couple friends with my parents, andother a lad and his wife, I went to school with him, and a lad I work with who is married. I would never mention anything to them if I thought it would cause upset

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

To answer your question, yes I do expect people to meet me without having seen me and they do. I find most of the decent guys are fine with it. You get a good feeling for the good ones and they are the ones who are usually fine with my POV in my experience. It's never been a problem .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

We'd say the answer to that is yes........if your a single woman.

It seems single women on swinging sites need only show tit or fanny pics, if any, and still be inundated with requests to meet from guys.

XXXX

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Can you guys tell me why face pics are any better than showing your face on cam? For me, I'd sooner do that. A pic can be faked, or it it's real, downloaded. I value my privacy like the OP.

I've had point blank refusals from people just because of the face pic issue, even though I've got the cam.

Cam isn't convenient for everyone. My cam rarely works on here, and it rarely works for me to view cams. I can generally tell if a picture is fake."

And with cam you have to both be online at the same time. Sometimes its nice to be able to log on at leisure (on the computer instead of the phone) and have a proper look at a pic. Perhaps even have a second and third look to make your mind up.

And its also handy to have a face pic you can have a quick check of on your phone before leaving the car and going into wherever you have your meets so that you don't walk up to some random and do your best 'should have gone to specsavers'

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

We'd say the answer to that is yes........if your a single woman.

It seems single women on swinging sites need only show tit or fanny pics, if any, and still be inundated with requests to meet from guys.

XXXX"

I agree. Women are in a much stronger position than men on here so not so much pressure for fems to show faces. It does make it very unfair for men particularly if they share my views about face pics.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

But do you always know what they look like before meeting?

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

But do you always know what they look like before meeting?

No I don't know what they look like because I don't press them for a face pic either. I would like to see a body pic though, naked or not. I suppose I go on gut feeling when we message each other.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

But do you always know what they look like before meeting?

No I don't know what they look like because I don't press them for a face pic either. I would like to see a body pic though, naked or not. I suppose I go on gut feeling when we message each other. "

I'm sorry, that is just something I do not understand, gut feelings are great but there 'always' needs to be an attraction for me, hey ho we are all different and I suppose the world would be boring if we were all the same, BUT I really don't get it ....

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I would never expect a man to meet me without having seen my face picture. Just as I will not meet those men that refuse to send one.

I am open about what I do but I don't display a full face picture as it could cause me some work problems.

I have had men block me after sending my face picture though

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I'm curious, do you expect people to meet you without having a clue what you look like?

But do you always know what they look like before meeting?

No I don't know what they look like because I don't press them for a face pic either. I would like to see a body pic though, naked or not. I suppose I go on gut feeling when we message each other.

I suppose I do go by their body pics without their heads on. If their body looks good, then I suppose it's unlikely they'll be dead ugly. You're right , we're all differnt. I suppose it's about what you're comfortable with.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I don't send pics or have face pics in my private gallery. I have a cam at my convenience to show who I am to potential meets.

Exactly, and that should be good enough. "You don't have a face pic so I'm not talking to you" is just rude IMO."

YOU choose not to show a face pic: that is YOUR choice. Who are you to say what others should accept?

If people state THEY don't want to talk to you as you're not singing from the same hymn sheet how is that rude?

Are you the only one allowed set play parameters?

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

"I can think of a few professionals who's jobs could think it was improper to be into swinging

Police, Fire, Ambulance, Doctors, Nurses, Prison Service, Probation officers, Social workers and people that work or come in contact with Children and so on.

I am one of them and would not want to risk my job just for sex "

I am also one of the above and live in a small town. I couldn't afford to be recognised as I know that it would be the end of my career

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live in a small village. Finally when we made our minds up to join a site the first couple we looked at was a pic of a woman id worked with for years. Nearly died even thou our face pics are in private album i still get paranoid sending them lol. I agree ppl should do what they want but you cant stop the gossip and bullshit that spreads.

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