Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?" Oh, I don't give her a blow by blow account of my meets, but once I joined this site my lifestyle changed and she noticed I was going out a lot more. Plus I never stayed out late til I start going to Isis. Me and her father are a little bit unconventional though so I reckon she probably guessed anyway. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No and i never would, even tho my eldest two are 20 and 18 i dont want them to look down on me and see me as anything less than their mum, their respect means a lot to me and i think i would loose some of that if they knew i shagged randem men off internet site Be ready to have it thrown back in your face the next time you tell him off lol" I agree with you in certain respects in that I don't think I would ever tell my kids about me and my partner's lifestyle. But if after being told about what their parents get up to and they respect their parents enough, they will never use it against them in an argument. Well I know that mine wouldn't. They were brought up to respect their elders and wouldn't dream of arguing with people that are much older than they are whether or not it's their parents. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them?" Have to say that I commend you guys for telling your kids. But don't think I would have the guts | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We should add that the cornerstone of our family is honesty and openness. There isn't a single subject that's taboo or off limits, except obviously to our youngest." Ditto. I was afraid of my mother and didn't dare ask her anything to do with sex. I made it a rule that my daughter can ask me anything and I will answer it to the best of my knowledge. I wouldn't recommend telling younger children - they have enough to worry about growing up. But past adolescence I think it's fine. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them?" no I dont have a lifestyle, so i dont see that what i get up to either with Sir or others needs to be told to them. i wouldnt discuss my sex life with kev with them, so why discuse what i do with others? However the eldest (12) knows our views on things like homosexuality, slut shaming ect, it comes up in normal discusussions about the news. It does lead to fun moments such as when he announced he wasnt going to get married when bigger, just visit prositutes if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No none of kids know. I wouldn't be adversed to telling my eldest, who is 18, if the subject ever came up.... thing is I can never imagine a time when it would come up. She's always asked questions about sex from hitting her puberty and i've always answered as honestly as I can, but she has never and would never ask about my sex life cos lets face it it's gross imagining your mam and dad at it and I could never sit her down and broach the subject. With my 16 yr old son, there is no way I would tell him, he things everything everyone does is disgusting. Think he would probably try to get emancipated. The younger ones are far too young to know about sex in general never mind group stuff. " | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I wouldn't recommend telling younger children - they have enough to worry about growing up. But past adolescence I think it's fine. " We quite agree. Our 15 year old is extremely mature though. We'd like to think it's as a result of his upbringing. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i would look at it this way, how would you think if your parents told you that they had been swingers when you was younger ? I know that i would not like to know that !!!" I knew my parents were up to something when I was about 12... I found their home movies aged about 13... and I now realise that my parents were having fun like that and were in a bdsm relationship. I would have preferred that they were honest with me.. as I knew they had lots of sex as we could hear them lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I do think that as more parents are open and honest that maybe we will get rid of this image that sex is something to be ashamed of. Cali " I think it is always ultimately up to parents what they tell their children. What worked for me and my daughter may not work for others. But I believe that alternative sexual lifestyles should be taught at school and sex should not be this 'nudge nudge wink wink' subject it is now. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i would look at it this way, how would you think if your parents told you that they had been swingers when you was younger ? I know that i would not like to know that !!!" I'd have respected them for telling me. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...." Are you being serious? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...." You see, this sort of remark is what the problem is. What exactly is wrong with people having sex with more than one person? As long as they are using protection, promiscuity is nothing to be ashamed of. Or am I promiscuous for being on this site? Seriously, the Victorian age is over now. Move on. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just some things you don't need to know about your parents. Suspecting things and knowing them are two different things Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so ...." I have found that being open and honest with my children has led to them taking much more care with their sexual habits.. However, they know they can come to me about anything. Oh and promiscuity at 16-21 is kinda part and parcel of growing up.. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's a lot to land on the plate of a 15 year old Already got hormones and adolescence to contend with without parents off loading on them too What on earth benefit do you get out of telling someone who technically is still a child ?" I was an adult from about 13, thought like one, worried like one, looked like one, yet pissed me off that everyone treated me like a child at 15. They will know their child better than anyone else.. and while my kids were both 18 before they knew.. it was only because that was when it was discussed. I actually wasnt asked but found my sons profile on fab.. so "Talked" with him about that. My older daughter wanted to come to the club with me one day and I had to tell her she couldnt.. she told me my son had already told her about "mum"..and it was okay. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Something like this will do more harm that good, and in my humble opinion they are more likely to be promiscuity at too young an age, but your their parents so .... You see, this sort of remark is what the problem is. What exactly is wrong with people having sex with more than one person? As long as they are using protection, promiscuity is nothing to be ashamed of. Or am I promiscuous for being on this site? Seriously, the Victorian age is over now. Move on." Comments like that and ones by people saying they dont want their kids to think less of them because they are here, really worry me. Why are you here if u think it is such a bad thing to do? i simply think sex is a private activity, i dont discuss it with anyone... not through shame but what used to be described as a sense of decorum. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them?" No. Mine are 19 and 16 but we keep it very very secret. I never ever play at home, I never ever give out my phone number and always use my naughty phone, I never ever give out private info. My husband swings too, but we have very strict rules about it. It's just our way that's all . I do admire your honesty with your eldest though. x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys?" Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29! My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh. I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them? no I dont have a lifestyle, so i dont see that what i get up to either with Sir or others needs to be told to them. i wouldnt discuss my sex life with kev with them, so why discuse what i do with others? However the eldest (12) knows our views on things like homosexuality, slut shaming ect, it comes up in normal discusussions about the news. It does lead to fun moments such as when he announced he wasnt going to get married when bigger, just visit prositutes if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else. " The way to go in my view. My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys". I vowed if I had children nothing would be taboo, and it isn't. When the girls asked questions I answered in an age appropriate way. I explained about periods so they knew what it meant so weren't frightened when they started. They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner. Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them. Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being only 22 myself i can honestly say that if my parents told me they were swingers i would be devastated. The thought of your parents going at it is bad enough but to be swinging... I would probably not be able to look or speak to them again for a long time. Just my own opinion btw. Not saying that all daughters or sons would react like this. It is just my own personalfeelings on the matter." And then young guys wonder why so many people wont meet them. Why is it ok for u to have a sex life but not your parents... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them? no I dont have a lifestyle, so i dont see that what i get up to either with Sir or others needs to be told to them. i wouldnt discuss my sex life with kev with them, so why discuse what i do with others? However the eldest (12) knows our views on things like homosexuality, slut shaming ect, it comes up in normal discusussions about the news. It does lead to fun moments such as when he announced he wasnt going to get married when bigger, just visit prositutes if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else. The way to go in my view. My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys". I vowed if I had children nothing would be taboo, and it isn't. When the girls asked questions I answered in an age appropriate way. I explained about periods so they knew what it meant so weren't frightened when they started. They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner. Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them. Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries." i just dont see why people feel the need to tell their kids, it seems to be a self validation thing for many (we are so unashamed of what we are doing we are open about it ). Boundaries as parents are very important, as they allow children to develop as their own people, and not as you wish them too. Quite frankly given the fact the eldest thinks i am a silly billy for having a tattoo and nipple piercings i imagine they would just roll their eyes if they knew about anything else. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys? Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29! My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh. I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!! " Thats pretty much how i feel, tho i do have a good relationship with all my girls, we go out shopping together etc like most mums and daughters they are still my kids Im not saying they would think any less of me if i did tell them, i could only know that if i did, its just in my mind i cant get past the fact.....im their mum why would i tell them who i have sex with, to me that just seems odd Im not saying everyone should feel like that, i know lots of people who tell their kids, i personally just dont understand why you would want to talk about such a subject with your children My middle daughter did once ask me, because of something someone said, basically one of the members of staff at chameleons club was my daughters mates mum and she told my daughter i went, it took me loads of back talking to get out of it but i think i managed to convince her that her mum must have been mistaken, lucky she was still young and easy to influence so i got away with it, but even when confrunted with it i still wuld never tell them | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"My middle daughter did once ask me, because of something someone said, basically one of the members of staff at chameleons club was my daughters mates mum and she told my daughter i went, it took me loads of back talking to get out of it but i think i managed to convince her that her mum must have been mistaken, lucky she was still young and easy to influence so i got away with it, but even when confrunted with it i still wuld never tell them " Now this would piss me off. Although I am happy to talk about it with my daughter, if someone I had met at my club said anything to her they'd be in for a knuckle sandwich. Although keeping it secret does run the risk of them finding out in other ways, other swingers should keep their mouths shut in front of other peoples families. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i dont see why you would tell your kids, if i was still with their dad i wouldnt come down in the morning and tell them what we had been upto in bed with their dad that night so why would i tell them about my sex life with other guys? Exact same thought went through my mind too and my children are 20, 24 and 29! My children also don't know how much I earn, how much money I have in the bank or how much I weigh. I'm their mum, not their bessy mate, in fact my friends don't know what I do, so why tell your children?!! Thats pretty much how i feel, tho i do have a good relationship with all my girls, we go out shopping together etc like most mums and daughters they are still my kids Im not saying they would think any less of me if i did tell them, i could only know that if i did, its just in my mind i cant get past the fact.....im their mum why would i tell them who i have sex with, to me that just seems odd Im not saying everyone should feel like that, i know lots of people who tell their kids, i personally just dont understand why you would want to talk about such a subject with your children My middle daughter did once ask me, because of something someone said, basically one of the members of staff at chameleons club was my daughters mates mum and she told my daughter i went, it took me loads of back talking to get out of it but i think i managed to convince her that her mum must have been mistaken, lucky she was still young and easy to influence so i got away with it, but even when confrunted with it i still wuld never tell them " I would be very concerned that a staff member at a club was discussing the club and its clients with children! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would be very concerned that a staff member at a club was discussing the club and its clients with children! " well i did have a word with her and the club about it but thats another thread lol didnt want to go off track to much | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why would you tell your kids about your sex life? Totally and utterly inappropriate in my view." I dont tell them about my sex life, they know about my lifestyle choices. That is a big difference and I think being open and honest helps. My mothers attitude despite me later finding out she was a swinger herself, left me with some very damaging issues with my own sexual make up. I spent most of my early adult life thinking that there was something wrong with me for wanting multiple partners etc.. Would have helped me greatly for me to understand that its a popular and not something that is abnormal. I of course dont tell my kids my thing is gangbangs and multiple facials etc... they just know that I am into this lifestyle and in a bdsm relationship. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"does make you wonder what effect it would have on the children.I would have been horrified to know parents swung.Rather they just did it secretly." So why is it okay for you but not your parents.. I find this attitude that doing this is something to be ashamed of. I am certainly not ashamed of myself. The most self adjusted family I know is a poly family and they have 5 within the relationship, kids by all 3 women and the 2 guys... all kids treated as children of the family. Those kids dont think its odd in the slightest. And as I said.. if I had known my parents were like that.. it would have helped me greatly. Everyone knows their parents have sex... not sure why it is ever such a big deal.. surely the fact they are happy and in love enough to do it should mean more. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's a lot to land on the plate of a 15 year old Already got hormones and adolescence to contend with without parents off loading on them too What on earth benefit do you get out of telling someone who technically is still a child ? I was an adult from about 13, thought like one, worried like one, looked like one, yet pissed me off that everyone treated me like a child at 15. They will know their child better than anyone else.. and while my kids were both 18 before they knew.. it was only because that was when it was discussed. I actually wasnt asked but found my sons profile on fab.. so "Talked" with him about that. My older daughter wanted to come to the club with me one day and I had to tell her she couldnt.. she told me my son had already told her about "mum"..and it was okay. Cali " I hope your son never fabbed any of your photos, that would be very wrong | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Being only 22 myself i can honestly say that if my parents told me they were swingers i would be devastated. The thought of your parents going at it is bad enough but to be swinging... I would probably not be able to look or speak to them again for a long time. Just my own opinion btw. Not saying that all daughters or sons would react like this. It is just my own personalfeelings on the matter. And then young guys wonder why so many people wont meet them. Why is it ok for u to have a sex life but not your parents... " Tbf i have had the opportunity to meet alot of people on here.. I wasn't aware young people had trouble. Also, i am not saying parent can't have a sex life. It's just i am not interested in knowing what my parents are into in regards to sex. I mean if they were into some freaky shit like watersports or something i wouldn't want to know, so why would i want to know they were swingers. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them?" poor kid | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just do not discuss details of my sex life with family or friends to be honest. Would seem a little wierd to me." i totally agree with yuo. my children would be totally embarrassed and disgusted with me if they new what i was up too. and i keep this side of my life completly private from any of my friends and family, partly to protect my children. i wouldnt want to know the ins and outs of their sexual life and im sure they don,t want to hear about mine.and after all, im over 40 now, and in their eyes much too old to be having sex lol | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would not tell my children that I swing. I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion. It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them. As a parent we've always had a clear line on what is appropriate and not. Whilst I am open for discussion on sexual matters in general, and they can ask me questions and I will advise, I do believe that all of us should hold some things private and the parent/child relationship be maintained. I would not ask for details on my eldest's sex life, I do not want to know, and he would not ask me. Similarly I don't agree with mothers and daughters dressing up and going to pubs and clubs and getting d*unk and on the pull together. Its one thing having a close relationship with your child but not to the extent that you treat each other like mates " i think that hits the nail on the head saying that my middle daughter is very open with me about her sex life but only in a way that if shes worried about something she will ask and i have no problem with that I had a very wierd conversation with her the other day where she asked me if she could ask me something of a sexual nature and of course i said yes and the conversation started with Well me a Ian (name has been changes to pretect the innocent lol) was doing a bit of bondage last night and that was the point i said woooooe i really dont need to know this but i could see she was worried about something so i let her carry on, fuck knows why i know sod all about BDSM so even tho i have no problem with my kids asking me stuff that they are worried about i still wouldnt open upto them about my sex life, simply because to me im their mother and im happy i am the one they come to with problems cause i feel thats my place, and id sooner then get the facts from me than a load of rubbish from mates who dont know what they are on abour, however its not their place to listerns to what i get upto | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kid" If mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"rather young to tell them what you are doing ??? " That's probably true for 99% of people his age. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dont tell them about my sex life, they know about my lifestyle choices. That is a big difference and I think being open and honest helps." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would not tell my children that I swing. I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion. It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them. As a parent we've always had a clear line on what is appropriate and not. Whilst I am open for discussion on sexual matters in general, and they can ask me questions and I will advise, I do believe that all of us should hold some things private and the parent/child relationship be maintained. I would not ask for details on my eldest's sex life, I do not want to know, and he would not ask me. Similarly I don't agree with mothers and daughters dressing up and going to pubs and clubs and getting d*unk and on the pull together. Its one thing having a close relationship with your child but not to the extent that you treat each other like mates " A woman after my own heart: with you 100% | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We all parent differently and do what we feel is the best way. I believe that as a parent I take responsibility for my children at whate er age they are. Mine can come to me and talk to me about anything too, but I am the parent therefore I take responsibility of not sharing the personal details of my sex life whatsoever, and that's not just the who, when and how, I don't discuss that I have sex at all. I take responsibility for the level of information that I feel they are emotionally mature enough to deal with. Mine would not be comfortable to hear details of my sex life and I wouldn't push that information at them. They are not my mates, to enjoy a dirty giggle about sex with. This is my choice and the way I have decided to bring up and parent my kids effectively and I am very proud that they appear to be well adjusted individuals, so obviously its the right way for us. We are all different though and my way wouldnt be right for everyone " Your way is also my way and it works for me and mine too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes." no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing" sometimes thay just see the sites you go on and pics and see your going out clubing and ask things ... why lie when thay have a right to know the truth ...... me and john been married 28 years and out of all there friends one of the only ones still together ........ thay said if it makes us happy and away from them thay dont care. it spice up our lifes and we are strong can handle most things in life . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I would not tell my children that I swing. I believe that our sex life is personal and not up for family discussion. It doesn't matter how old the children are, I would never tell them. As a parent we've always had a clear line on what is appropriate and not. Whilst I am open for discussion on sexual matters in general, and they can ask me questions and I will advise, I do believe that all of us should hold some things private and the parent/child relationship be maintained. I would not ask for details on my eldest's sex life, I do not want to know, and he would not ask me. Similarly I don't agree with mothers and daughters dressing up and going to pubs and clubs and getting d*unk and on the pull together. Its one thing having a close relationship with your child but not to the extent that you treat each other like mates i think that hits the nail on the head saying that my middle daughter is very open with me about her sex life but only in a way that if shes worried about something she will ask and i have no problem with that I had a very wierd conversation with her the other day where she asked me if she could ask me something of a sexual nature and of course i said yes and the conversation started with Well me a Ian (name has been changes to pretect the innocent lol) was doing a bit of bondage last night and that was the point i said woooooe i really dont need to know this but i could see she was worried about something so i let her carry on, fuck knows why i know sod all about BDSM so even tho i have no problem with my kids asking me stuff that they are worried about i still wouldnt open upto them about my sex life, simply because to me im their mother and im happy i am the one they come to with problems cause i feel thats my place, and id sooner then get the facts from me than a load of rubbish from mates who dont know what they are on abour, however its not their place to listerns to what i get upto " You see that to me is the core of this...people need to understand what their role is and whether openness is about filling a need in them, or their children. Being a parent means you are there for them, not the other way round. btw what was the question, maybe i can help | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thing" Being lied to would make him a poor kid, not having honest and open parents. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"can i just ask f-c, are you not worried now that your son is going to be a bit more curious, as a boy of that age would be, and have a look through sites like this, and come across your profile ??? " Not worried at all. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thingBeing lied to would make him a poor kid, not having honest and open parents." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"can i just ask f-c, are you not worried now that your son is going to be a bit more curious, as a boy of that age would be, and have a look through sites like this, and come across your profile ??? Not worried at all." really???? im sorry. not sure if other people are thinking this, but im thinking it's not right. i think "poor kid" sums it up. lets hope for his sake, his friends dont get to see too. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"im sorry. not sure if other people are thinking this, but im thinking it's not right. i think "poor kid" sums it up. lets hope for his sake, his friends dont get to see too." We didn't realise you'd met him. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"we told our daughter when she was 18 good thing we did. as 2 years later when she was running her own pub in our small town a gang of lads that had seen us at a swingers resortin mexico. got back a week befor us and told every one in the pub she just asked them what they was doing in a swingers resort as some of them had girl friends and had not told them . things changed then when there girl friends dumped them all .payback so nice when others do it for you " See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock. What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong.. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them? no I dont have a lifestyle, so i dont see that what i get up to either with Sir or others needs to be told to them. i wouldnt discuss my sex life with kev with them, so why discuse what i do with others? However the eldest (12) knows our views on things like homosexuality, slut shaming ect, it comes up in normal discusussions about the news. It does lead to fun moments such as when he announced he wasnt going to get married when bigger, just visit prositutes if swinging came up we would explain what it was same as we have with anything else. The way to go in my view. My sex education when I started my periods, which terrified me was being given a pack of Dr Whites and told "dont sleep with boys". I vowed if I had children nothing would be taboo, and it isn't. When the girls asked questions I answered in an age appropriate way. I explained about periods so they knew what it meant so weren't frightened when they started. They asked about homosexuality, their own sexuality in an open manner. Your children being able to talk to you about anything doesn't mean you have to share your private life with them. Some people are so into this they seem to have lost perspective and have no boundaries. i just dont see why people feel the need to tell their kids, it seems to be a self validation thing for many (we are so unashamed of what we are doing we are open about it ). Boundaries as parents are very important, as they allow children to develop as their own people, and not as you wish them too. Quite frankly given the fact the eldest thinks i am a silly billy for having a tattoo and nipple piercings i imagine they would just roll their eyes if they knew about anything else. " because everyone brings children up differently and some sercets children can forgive and some they can't. some children will wish there parents never told them about swinging, some will find out for themselves and will respect there parents less for not telling thats the thing kids r people and there reactions differ just as adults do. which is why as a parent we choose what we think is right and lets face it are often not sure if we get it right or not x and no mine don't know as never asked if hey did i would tell the truth x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"we told our daughter when she was 18 good thing we did. as 2 years later when she was running her own pub in our small town a gang of lads that had seen us at a swingers resortin mexico. got back a week befor us and told every one in the pub she just asked them what they was doing in a swingers resort as some of them had girl friends and had not told them . things changed then when there girl friends dumped them all .payback so nice when others do it for you See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock. What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong.. Cali" we dont see it as wrong, but for alot of us on here, its a very private thing, and i for one know that my family nd friends would not agree with what i do,so for me its easier. but telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"we told our daughter when she was 18 good thing we did. as 2 years later when she was running her own pub in our small town a gang of lads that had seen us at a swingers resortin mexico. got back a week befor us and told every one in the pub she just asked them what they was doing in a swingers resort as some of them had girl friends and had not told them . things changed then when there girl friends dumped them all .payback so nice when others do it for you See this is why its always for me at least best to be honest. I had a friend out me.. but my lad already knew. so it wasnt a case of omg shock. What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong.. Cali" our daughter is fine with it . and the soninlaw thinks we are great but has no intrest in doing the same . | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right. " We'd really like to know why you feel that is. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"What worries me with this thread is how many people see what they are doing as being something wrong.. Cali" Indeed. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Just do not discuss details of my sex life with family or friends to be honest. Would seem a little wierd to me. i totally agree with yuo. my children would be totally embarrassed and disgusted with me if they new what i was up too. and i keep this side of my life completly private from any of my friends and family, partly to protect my children. i wouldnt want to know the ins and outs of their sexual life and im sure they don,t want to hear about mine.and after all, im over 40 now, and in their eyes much too old to be having sex lol " i think that says a lot my children don't think anyones sex life is digusting because i hope i have taught them that everyone is different. while i agree they don't need to know what i do to be honest if they were digusted of me i would be ashamed of them as people. i would think i had failed in there upbringing x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thingsometimes thay just see the sites you go on and pics and see your going out clubing and ask things ... why lie when thay have a right to know the truth ...... me and john been married 28 years and out of all there friends one of the only ones still together ........ thay said if it makes us happy and away from them thay dont care. it spice up our lifes and we are strong can handle most things in life ." how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"poor kidIf mature, happy, content and well adjusted fit your criteria for poor, then yes. no, knowing his parents are swingers and fuck around, that's what the criteria for poor is. kids don't need to be exposed to that kind of thingsometimes thay just see the sites you go on and pics and see your going out clubing and ask things ... why lie when thay have a right to know the truth ...... me and john been married 28 years and out of all there friends one of the only ones still together ........ thay said if it makes us happy and away from them thay dont care. it spice up our lifes and we are strong can handle most things in life . how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers" At one time my family would all be on same pc now have there own lap tops and telling me ... about the sites i was going on ... so am i to say no i just come across that .... them knowing my own mum and dad and auties all into this at one time too , lol thay was over 18 and could handle the truth ... | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"telling a 15 year old, come on, it's just not right. We'd really like to know why you feel that is." why did you feel he would want to know anyway??? why does your son need to know what you 2 get up too in the bedroom, i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"how would it be lying if they didn't tell him? the kid didn't ask them if they were swingers" No, but he's not stupid and knew something was different. The things he thought it might be were more troubling for him than the truth. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in. " As we said before, that would no doubt be the case for most people of his age. However, we didn't tell *a* 15 year old, we told *our* 15 year old. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse. this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this. he really did not need to know at 15. " again this is just your opnion and its there child and thankfully in this country we still have the right to bring up our child as we see fit and noone can judge if this kid turns out a little crazy maybe u could blame that but u will have nothing to say if he turns into a well adjust adult. there is no rule book with kids we do what we think is rite. because we don't always agree doesn't mean your ways right and someone else is wrong x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse. this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this." We don't see how they're even remotely similar. We're not about to take him to any clubs. In fact, the very thought of it is anathema to us. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse. this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this. he really did not need to know at 15. " Mother and daughter combo is quite kinky from a single mans perspective... But i agree it is perverse. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"there is a women on here that meets up with her mother, she is in her 40's now but they started meeting together when she was just 16, to me this is perverse. this is kind of sticking in my mind when im reading this thread. sure im not the only one thinking this. he really did not need to know at 15. Mother and daughter combo is quite kinky from a single mans perspective... But i agree it is perverse. " mmnn think im gonna leave this thread now and look at you hun | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"i just feel it could cause him a lot of embarrasment and its alot for a 15 year old to take in. As we said before, that would no doubt be the case for most people of his age. However, we didn't tell *a* 15 year old, we told *our* 15 year old." You know your child better.. Open and honest is for me at least the best way. You have no reason to justify yourself at all.. and I am sure if you felt he was capable of dealing with it then you are no doubt right. To be honest its about time being into multiple partners stopped being a taboo thing.. would help with divorce rates and I think the whole NO SEX PLEASE WE'RE BRITISH, is so outdated now. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Parents on this thread who are trying to say that being open and honest about swinging is the best way are selfish in my opinion. It might be the best way for you but maybe not for your children. I mean even if the 15 year old "can handle it" why should he have to? Half the time parents are so out of touch that they probably have no idea what there children are really like." Following a further chat last night, it is clear that our openness *is* the best way for our lad and that he is in no way having to "handle it". He said he was glad we were doing something that made us happy together as most of his friends' parents are splitting up. In fact, it was this he was fearing when it became clear to him that something had changed. He thanked us again for being so open as parents so that's all we need to know. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We recently told our 15 year old son about our lifestyle. He took it really well and said he always thought we were a bit strange. Our thinking was that's it's best for him to find out from us than from anyone else. It'll be a good few years before our 5 year old knows though. Have most of you with kids told them?" Well, we congratulate you both. We have 4 children between us and males kids are 19 and 22. We have told them we swing and they both think its great that we are in love and can explore sex and share its pleasure with others. To those who would be ashamed, embarrassed, or don't think their kids should know the truth if the question arose....we say to you ' if your embarrassed about what you do ie; swing, then you shouldn't be doing it!' I'm sure you'd all be there to answer your children's questions regarding their. sex and sexuality, so why not be truthful about your own? Our other two children who are younger and still live at home, don't know, but then no questions have been asked yet, but we will be, open and honest with them as lying and being deceitful to our children is not in our agenda. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Parents on this thread who are trying to say that being open and honest about swinging is the best way are selfish in my opinion. It might be the best way for you but maybe not for your children. I mean even if the 15 year old "can handle it" why should he have to? Half the time parents are so out of touch that they probably have no idea what there children are really like. " Its not selfish in my eyes.. I didnt even say I was a swinger.. I just said that I believed that in this world monogamy was a bit outdated. Got asked if Master knew about the other guys... and I said yes, and we were both happy.. That was all the kids wanted to know. To be fair the fact that at some point we may end up with a live in 3rd.. it really is needed to be open and honest with my children.. not sexually.. but with my views on the world. I dont know if I would tell my younger children till they were 16plus.... but I think my 14 year old daughter( who doesn't live with me all the time) may soon be asking a few questions.. As one of her friends parents mentioned something to her. Its not selfish to do the best for your children.. and that is all any parent can do.. in the RIGHT way for them. We all parent differently... As someone that doesn't do this as an occasional thing, and lives it as a lifestyle then its a bit hard for me to keep it secret from my older kids. Cali | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Well, we congratulate you both. We have 4 children between us and males kids are 19 and 22. We have told them we swing and they both think its great that we are in love and can explore sex and share its pleasure with others. To those who would be ashamed, embarrassed, or don't think their kids should know the truth if the question arose....we say to you ' if your embarrassed about what you do ie; swing, then you shouldn't be doing it!' I'm sure you'd all be there to answer your children's questions regarding their. sex and sexuality, so why not be truthful about your own? Our other two children who are younger and still live at home, don't know, but then no questions have been asked yet, but we will be, open and honest with them as lying and being deceitful to our children is not in our agenda." | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |