FabSwingers.com forum: Logging on but not reading messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Firstly, this is not a rant. We're just curious as to why it may be that people we've been messaging for a while would log on to the site but not read our messages.

Some were sent days ago, and the people in question have been on here several times since, but the messages are still showing as unread. With one, we were in the middle of arranging the finer details of a meet, the date of which has now passed without it happening.

As we say, just curious as they're are probably lots of reasons we just haven't thought of.

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I don't always read my messages. I often look to see who they're from and the first line but don't open till I have time and sometimes the right frame of mind to reply - I'm often having a giggle at the forums but don't want to chat.

Can only assume the couple have changed their mind, or even only one was chatting in the first place, oh has said they're not forme and first one is embarrassed and doesn't know how to say.

Or they simply changed their mind and don't like saying so and are hoping you'll just go away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds to me after all that time that they changed their minds but maybe were too embarrassed to tell you

Some of my friends log on and don't read my messages straight away but I don't take it to heart MUCH .. I don't jump up and down and want to know WHY WHY WHY oh WHY

Just joshing ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That all makes sense.

For the record, we're not sitting here feeling glum and let down. We were just talking about it and decided to consult the collective wisdom of the forums.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

I am guilty of not always reading messages straight away or even the same day. Really depends on who it is from (if I know them am more likely to reply), how much time I have and what mood I am in.

As to the couple who you were in the middle of arranging a meet with, can only think that they must of changed their mind but they didn't have the heart to tell you.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Firstly, this is not a rant. We're just curious as to why it may be that people we've been messaging for a while would log on to the site but not read our messages.

As we say, just curious as they're are probably lots of reasons we just haven't thought of."

i am as guilty of this... if i am just popping in on work breaks... or littely just looking on the site for a very short time looking for a specific post...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Firstly, this is not a rant. We're just curious as to why it may be that people we've been messaging for a while would log on to the site but not read our messages.

As we say, just curious as they're are probably lots of reasons we just haven't thought of."

Had this before myself. I've found that any contact is now over, and if they ever were going to meet, they've changed there mind. In time the messages will be deleted too.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Firstly, this is not a rant. We're just curious as to why it may be that people we've been messaging for a while would log on to the site but not read our messages.

As we say, just curious as they're are probably lots of reasons we just haven't thought of."

i log on to read the forum or go into chat, to reply to messages (other than just chit chat with mates) needs kids to be out and kev to be about, so i tend to do them in a block...i would imagine many couples do the same...

Question is why are u checking...if they want to reply, they will, looking if they are online isnt going to change that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some reason people generally find it difficult to say no - it's a British thing I think, like complaining, we shy away from it - I've been guilty of not being able to say - you know what, in th cold light of day ... I'm just not feeling it, sorry. However, after several months on this site and the messing around that others do, I have no such compunction

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't always read my messages. I often look to see who they're from and the first line but don't open till I have time and sometimes the right frame of mind to reply - I'm often having a giggle at the forums but don't want to chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For some reason people generally find it difficult to say no - it's a British thing I think, like complaining, we shy away from it - I've been guilty of not being able to say - you know what, in th cold light of day ... I'm just not feeling it, sorry. However, after several months on this site and the messing around that others do, I have no such compunction

absolutely

To the OP I wouldn't try to draw too many conclusions from someone's login habits. Sometimes people like to wait until they're sat down comfy with their favourite cuppa before writing a good reply than hurriedly scrawl out a crap one - I know I do anyway.

I think if people really want to meet, then they will. Nothing can change that, and best to concentrate positive efforts on contacting positively minded individuals who actually do want to meet instead.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'v sent msgs and they havent been read for 3 wks now! But the peeps i'v sent em to have been on n off the site! Maybe its time i got a new prof pic! Lol,

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't mind if people don't read my messages. Totally their choice. But to stop replying halfway through making arrangements is a bit rude. It happened to me recently and I just deleted and blocked the guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know both of the couple like to be there and sometimes they will wait or if your messaggng a lot then you can lose it down the line

best bet is keep looking for thoes few

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

Strange timing as the same thing has happened to us too. Am sure it is as everyone has said above but wonder if there could if been a glitch with messages a couple of days ago?

Probably just wishful thinking but it is a bit if a coincidence xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am so so so guilty of this. I currently have 26 unread messages that I really do want to read and reply to. Sadly my time here is somewhat limited at the moment and at times keeping on top of the message heap (aka deleting new contacts I'm not interested in) is as much as I can be bothred with. So the poor polite bastards who I've been chatting with have got to wait for me to get in the right frame of mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have messaged two on my friends list, just general ' hi, how you keeping' type messages, one is now unread for a month, the other 3 weeks, are they rude or am I over sensitive? And yes they are online atleast once a day every day!

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"I have messaged two on my friends list, just general ' hi, how you keeping' type messages, one is now unread for a month, the other 3 weeks, are they rude or am I over sensitive? And yes they are online atleast once a day every day!

This I would find rude,if I message a friend I don't expect it to be ignored and id delete them off the list

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By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman
over a year ago

amersham

I have had this too on occasions. I think a lot of people make arrangements and either bottle out or carry on looking ...it is, after all a big and tempting shop window!...and they move onto someone else and prefer to say nothing rather than sorry, no thankyou. Rather rude in my opinion. If I make arrangements I always stick to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do this regularly, in fact I'm doing it right now, I have messages but I just don't feel like reading or replying. So I won't.

I access the site on my mobile a lot and I keep it logged in, so its probably showing that were logged in constantly, I'm not though.

But then I am wondering why people would check when others are online and whether they've checked messages

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Well, what about this?

A couple winked at me, so I wrote to them introducing myself etc etc. They haven't read my message after a couple of days and then....they wink at me again!!

Maybe I have lost the plot but is winking the new messaging?

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By *partan_dMan
over a year ago

????

I think some people think too much into things. I have had alot of messages and winks from people and i just don't expect anything from it. People come and go etc. Just take things as they are and whatever happens will happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do this all the time, because I have no messages to read,lol.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I do this regularly, in fact I'm doing it right now, I have messages but I just don't feel like reading or replying. So I won't.

I access the site on my mobile a lot and I keep it logged in, so its probably showing that were logged in constantly, I'm not though.

But then I am wondering why people would check when others are online and whether they've checked messages

Likewise, I access using my phone.

Personally, I find some are coming across like stalkers. Why the need to track how long and how many times people log in?

I don't always answer messages from friends, especially the "any new subs then?" type messages. When I'm on I read the forums. People I'm interested in have my email/mobile number anyway.

The ones that send messages the minute I log in don't...hmmm...wonder why that is?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I think some people think too much into things. I have had alot of messages and winks from people and i just don't expect anything from it. People come and go etc. Just take things as they are and whatever happens will happen."

Couldn't agree more: great attitude.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Well, what about this?

A couple winked at me, so I wrote to them introducing myself etc etc. They haven't read my message after a couple of days and then....they wink at me again!!

Maybe I have lost the plot but is winking the new messaging? "

Well, seeing as you can't wink someone more than once within 30 days, are you sure it was the same couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, seeing as you can't wink someone more than once within 30 days, are you sure it was the same couple?"

Can someone wink again if you've deleted your winks? I'd swear the same guys wink at me every time I clear out the twelvety hundred odd winks in there

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"Well, what about this?

A couple winked at me, so I wrote to them introducing myself etc etc. They haven't read my message after a couple of days and then....they wink at me again!!

Maybe I have lost the plot but is winking the new messaging?

Well, seeing as you can't wink someone more than once within 30 days, are you sure it was the same couple?"

Positive.

Noone is saying people SHOULD message back once you send a message. It's just confusing when you get a wink again from the same party you have emailed.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Well, what about this?

A couple winked at me, so I wrote to them introducing myself etc etc. They haven't read my message after a couple of days and then....they wink at me again!!

Maybe I have lost the plot but is winking the new messaging?

Well, seeing as you can't wink someone more than once within 30 days, are you sure it was the same couple?

Positive.

Noone is saying people SHOULD message back once you send a message. It's just confusing when you get a wink again from the same party you have emailed."

most likely they pressed the w rong button when looking at your profile, dead easily done on a phone

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By *ybMan
over a year ago

County Durham

Hi my first post.

I agree with Jemima in that before the proper mobile site was up and running using my iPod touch or other similar mobile device with the proper full size site on screen it was easy to catch wink when you really maybe wanted to add them to the hotlist to interact/email at a later date. Sometimes you find a profile you want to reply to but hasn't showed up before in your searches etc.

If I've winked at someone by mistake I've usually took the time and then emailed etc.

New mobile site works better with bigger icons.

Mmmm bigger fingers not an advantage with small screens ?

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just because it shows a member logged on it doesn't mean they are on site,we were at a meet and away from home/pc,which was switched off:-we were shown as being logged on on when he looked at site!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well, what about this?

A couple winked at me, so I wrote to them introducing myself etc etc. They haven't read my message after a couple of days and then....they wink at me again!!

Maybe I have lost the plot but is winking the new messaging?

Well, seeing as you can't wink someone more than once within 30 days, are you sure it was the same couple?"

Not sure, but think if you deleted the wink, they're free to wink again.

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By *un Times 1Man
4 weeks ago

coventry

Why do people log on and not read messages. I really feel like this site is a complete waste of time.

I have sent 8 messages to various people and not one has been read.

I didn’t expect a reply. That is bad enough. To go to the bother of doing Bespoke messages, for each one. Then not even being read, is poor.

Then people wonder about the standard of messaging on here. People give up and send crude messages, that way they may get a response.

Rant over.

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By *eganMayWoman
4 weeks ago

Clevedon

I delete messages from people I have absolutely no interest in straight away. Sometimes messages are left unread because I don’t feel like chatting at that moment in time, or I’m not sure if I’m interested in them.

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By *un Times 1Man
4 weeks ago

coventry

Ok. At least you responded to my post.

Thank you.

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By *ixenandhoundCouple
4 weeks ago

Plymouth, South west

"Why do people log on and not read messages. I really feel like this site is a complete waste of time.

I have sent 8 messages to various people and not one has been read.

I didn’t expect a reply. That is bad enough. To go to the bother of doing Bespoke messages, for each one. Then not even being read, is poor.

Then people wonder about the standard of messaging on here. People give up and send crude messages, that way they may get a response.

Rant over. "

Only one of us deals with the messages etc on here, and that person might not be online fir 2 or 3 days and yet the other one of us has been on there lots in the meantime... and sometimes we just want a quick look and not read / reply to messages at that time

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By *ast Lothian couple 888Couple
4 weeks ago

east lothian

"Why do people log on and not read messages. I really feel like this site is a complete waste of time.

I have sent 8 messages to various people and not one has been read.

I didn’t expect a reply. That is bad enough. To go to the bother of doing Bespoke messages, for each one. Then not even being read, is poor.

Then people wonder about the standard of messaging on here. People give up and send crude messages, that way they may get a response.

Rant over. "
we only open messages together so one of us or even both of us may be online reading the forums but in different places like both at work

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By *harAndBryCouple
4 weeks ago

Peterborough / Stamford

"Why do people log on and not read messages."

There's two of us so we might only read messages when together, or one might read it and then mark it unread so the other notices it.

We might not have time to respond immediately, or we might need to talk over our reply, or we might need to think about someone so we might mark it as unread.

And we're fed up of reading a message and then three minutes later getting a passive aggressive message from the guy because we haven't responded immediately.

But at the end of the day, it's our Fab, we use it how we want and if someone's going to get upset because we've not read their message then that's very much THEIR problem, not ours.

(Bry)

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By *un Times 1Man
4 weeks ago

coventry

Thank you to all the responses to my post. Much appreciated x

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By *inkyalternativesCouple
3 weeks ago

Exeter

We were talking about this last night funnily enough, we spent abit of time trying to tidy up our inbox. It gets so out of control at times and its really hard to keep up with as we try and answer messages when we are together and have the time.

We have missed messages from other couples we have been talking to, we thought we were waiting on a response from them but they had responded already. We hate it when this happens.

Then on the other hand we have had messages with other couples where we have been getting along etc, then suddenly no response from their part and weeks have gone by.we don't let it get us down as it could be the same situation as us, which lead us to the big talking point haha:

**** Do we reach out to them again or do we just carry on doing our thing ****

But honestly if you see this and we have been messaging and getting along message us back hahaha.

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