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She's hot, he's not.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D

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By * Sophie xTV/TS
over a year ago

Derby

It's like that for me about myself....made up in think I look pretty good but as a guy, average at best but I'm happy with that

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

It's just beyond shallow.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"It's like that for me about myself....made up in think I look pretty good but as a guy, average at best but I'm happy with that "

Haha, I'd never thought of that angle! I certainly think I looked much cuter covered in eyeliner, not done that for almost 20 years now though. Wow, I'm getting old...

I do, BTW, think that about my wife and I too... Not trying to pretend I think I'm a nailed on hottie by any means!

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

It's just beyond shallow."

Surprised to hear such a damning reply, but fair enough. I don't quite see how you can deny our experience though? It's not something you can legislate against, it's part of how society works, how attraction works.

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D"

I am picky too and rightly so

However , ugly or attractive is subjective

If one was to rate themselves too highly it could be through their own eyes and not others

If you wanted the ‘girl next door’ look I would be unattractive to those looking

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By *ood girl2010Couple
over a year ago

crewe

I agree with you on this one

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

We all find different people hot. Despite my passion for thin young men I still find big bear guys bloody sexy.

I’m a fat 50yo. I still get gorgeous men who are crazy for me.

Ugly is in the beholders eye. No one is attractive if they have an ugly attitude.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

Couples can be very 9-5

She is the 9. He is the 5

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve found this in clubs.

It gives me hope as I’ve seen some stunning women with average at best guys

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D

I am picky too and rightly so

However , ugly or attractive is subjective

If one was to rate themselves too highly it could be through their own eyes and not others

If you wanted the ‘girl next door’ look I would be unattractive to those looking

"

Absolutely always subjective at the end of the day, but I'd say you're almost always going to be deemed attractive. Sure, not everyone would say so, but whilst you're not my type (and I'd mostly feel intimidated by you in person!), your pics are still very impressive.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ugly is in the beholders eye. No one is attractive if they have an ugly attitude. "
Absolutely. I'm sure plenty of club meets happen without anyone knowing what some peoples attitude is though!

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By *eltic KinkstersCouple
over a year ago

Manchester/Leeds

It's the bane of our lives! Not necessarily always the female half of the couple that's hot and the male that's not, but it's the most common mis-match that we encounter.

Neither of us wants to "take one for the team", so we would rather just wait to find couples that we both find attractive.

Or alternatively we end up with singles...

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

It's just beyond shallow."

I'm still thinking about this reply, does anyone else take this side? To me it just naturally fits with the same massive gender imbalances between men and women on fab in general... I didn't think it was a potentially contentious observation at all...?

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

There are many couples who don't put male pics on their profile

When using my couple profile,i avoid these as in many cases when i do eventually get to see a pic of the male,there's no attraction

Not saying that's all couples,just my experience.

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

We are the opposite 60 40 in his favour.

Most of the time its fine, if it's obvious he's not interested but she is I slip away and let he works his magic. It used to upset but I've come to terms with it and have my own fun.

I'm not anyone's petty fuck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D"

I've got two questions:

1. So how does society and humanity work regarding your theory?

2. Have you got a mirror?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D"

I sort of see what you mean but I think your wording is not the best.

I see many couples who appear mis- matched. However, people age differently and look for different things in a relationship to simply sex.

My husband considers himself unattractive, I most certainly disagree... attraction is very subjective.

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By *incsladyandscotsmanCouple
over a year ago

North fife

We often struggle to find couples we both find attractive.. we wouldn't play unless there was attraction to both parties. I know that isn't the same for everyone however

L x

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By *retty womanWoman
over a year ago

Near Bournemouth


"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

It's just beyond shallow."

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By *arah with heelsCouple
over a year ago

Sleaford Lincolnshire

Thats why we have only met single guys hubby lets the side down. Hubby wrote this

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Totally agree with your approach. We find we are ‘pickier’ in virtual life than in Clubs, as you get to see people in 3 dimensions as opposed to just in 2D! Some people photo well, but look worse, some the other way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% i reckon i ruin her chances most of the time when it comes to meets ????

But for us its 50/50 on looks and personality of both of the couple x

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

She's hot, he's not.

When we saw that title we thought the thread was about us

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By *arlomaleMan
over a year ago

darlington


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D

I've got two questions:

1. So how does society and humanity work regarding your theory?

2. Have you got a mirror?

"

I was thinking exactly this especially the mirror one

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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago

north tyneside


"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% i reckon i ruin her chances most of the time when it comes to meets ????

But for us its 50/50 on looks and personality of both of the couple x"

well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn’t bother me. I just want to fuck your wife

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D

I've got two questions:

1. So how does society and humanity work regarding your theory?

2. Have you got a mirror?

"

1. Many books on the subject. Most recently I was reading a reasonable summary saying that men are attracted to women for looks most significantly. Women however are looking for a good father, stable, secure lifestyle etc. So when this happy real life balance gets subjected to a highly superficial culture like this is, it's only logical that this issue should arise. Seems like its just common sense to me.

2) of course. When did I ever say I think I'm an exception to this observation?

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I’ve found this when wanting to play with a couple as a single girl, and as part of a couple looking for other couples. Not necessarily that people are ugly, but just not attractive to me.

Attraction is a funny thing. I make things harder for myself because I’m only attracted to black guys, so that makes it even more complicated.

But I do like playing with couples though, it’s the best fun when I find one with all round mutual attraction.

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Okay. To a few of the posters. Just stop putting yourselves down guys. Yes, think your partner is hot. But no need to put yourselves down. What makes someone attractive is very different to different people.

I look at my partner and think phoar!!! That’s fit.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I’ve found this when wanting to play with a couple as a single girl, and as part of a couple looking for other couples. Not necessarily that people are ugly, but just not attractive to me.

Attraction is a funny thing. I make things harder for myself because I’m only attracted to black guys, so that makes it even more complicated.

But I do like playing with couples though, it’s the best fun when I find one with all round mutual attraction. "

Three in a bed does increasingly seem to give the best dynamic we're finding.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff


"It's the bane of our lives! Not necessarily always the female half of the couple that's hot and the male that's not, but it's the most common mis-match that we encounter.

Neither of us wants to "take one for the team", so we would rather just wait to find couples that we both find attractive.

Or alternatively we end up with singles..."

Totally agree with your approach. We find we are ‘pickier’ in virtual life than in Clubs, as you get to see people in 3 dimensions as opposed to just in 2D! Some people photo well, but look worse, some the other way

...note to self, show which message you agree with!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D"

Looking at it from our own point of view I think I look...well, ok-ish for Fab I guess, but P thinks I look FAF (for which I'm eternally grateful! ) Whereas she has days where she thinks she looks horrid and other days where she thinks "I can look decent if I make a real effort " whereas I think she's an absolute beauty!

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Okay. To a few of the posters. Just stop putting yourselves down guys. Yes, think your partner is hot. But no need to put yourselves down. What makes someone attractive is very different to different people.

I look at my partner and think phoar!!! That’s fit.

"

Don’t forget some guys in a couples relationship like to be put down. It’s part of the kink.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

L looks gorgeous in the flesh, vivacious, fun and very out going, me I’m a bit of a bear, however I have some level of intellect and I know my way round a dungeon.

As we only tend to play (not that we don’t play with men) with ladies the couple thing happens usually off the way we play.

We both find intellect and a sense of fun attractive, it’s more the energy they project that is a turn on.

We’ve met enough “plastic” daffodils who look great yet fuck like a sack of cement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

I could not put it better my self

It's just beyond shallow."

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Glad i am here as a single female. It's far easier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We also struggle to find couples where we find both attractive. It's also usually the case for us that we both find the female attractive but not so much the male Keeping everyone happy seems to be a tall order..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar.

It's just beyond shallow."

This

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By *edoriartyCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We find it hard to find a couple where we are all attracted! Don't think it's ever going to be easy to find

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"L looks gorgeous in the flesh, vivacious, fun and very out going, me I’m a bit of a bear, however I have some level of intellect and I know my way round a dungeon.

As we only tend to play (not that we don’t play with men) with ladies the couple thing happens usually off the way we play.

We both find intellect and a sense of fun attractive, it’s more the energy they project that is a turn on.

We’ve met enough “plastic” daffodils who look great yet fuck like a sack of cement."

Plastic daffodils

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was part of a couple where my partner was lovely, but I looked like I'd had a fight with a bunch of badgers so I get it

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe


"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf.

It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D"

Ooooh! Just as controversial is that almost all men don't wear make up remember. Do you think the ladies would match up make up free on average, OP, yourself included?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We also struggle to find couples where we find both attractive. It's also usually the case for us that we both find the female attractive but not so much the male Keeping everyone happy seems to be a tall order.."

Yes a real tall order I agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100% us!!

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By *anni and RicCouple
over a year ago

York

Our problem is created because we look for bi couples. All four of us have to like each other.... thats a hard match to make! We mostly play with singles from fab and meet couples in clubs where we get to see the bigger picture.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

We find it a struggle to find couples where we are both happy, especially if the lady is bi then myself (AJ) wants to be attracted to the male and female, not just facially and physically but like both to have a personality I click with, obviously Will only needs to be attracted to the female half but again wants them both to have a fun personality, we have been lucky over the years and met some amazing hot couples most that become good friends but agree it can be difficult to find that all round attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She’s hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the couples who have approached me fit into this. Or they only have pictures of the female half on their profile.

Feeling very unenthusiastic about couples lately, been sucked into relationship drama a few times and it’s such a turn off haha

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By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago

Leicester

My sub on here but we don't have a couple profile and we won't, but as we're have a BDSM dinamic, if you don't find me attractive you don't play with her, 99% don't on here don't find me attractive and that's cool, I won't loose sleep over it

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham


"Most of the couples who have approached me fit into this. Or they only have pictures of the female half on their profile.

Feeling very unenthusiastic about couples lately, been sucked into relationship drama a few times and it’s such a turn off haha "

.That's such a shame. Maybe you just haven't met the right couple yet .I (Mrs) played as a single fem for quite a while so we appreciate the dynanics from all perspectives. Juat saying

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Much popcorn eaten reading this thread. Had to get the dictionary out too

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By *hamCouple30Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

You guys are going to hate us then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My sub on here but we don't have a couple profile and we won't, but as we're have a BDSM dinamic, if you don't find me attractive you don't play with her, 99% don't on here don't find me attractive and that's cool, I won't loose sleep over it"

If you come only as a couple why don't you have a couples profile? Seems a bit strange for her to have solo profile with a caveat that she won't play solo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We too have come across this ~ where one of us is attracted to one but the other not so much.. just swings and roundabouts I guess..

Our profile doesn’t show any public

Pictures of him but that’s because of privacy more than anything. He’s absolutely gorgeous!

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We appear to be well matched because although we find each other reasonably attractive it doesn’t look like anyone else does!

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester

We have to be in agreement yes but what's attractive to one isn't same as another. Plus if they are after girl girl only play then less bother about make I'd guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband is super attractive to me and I couldn't care less what anybody else thinks.

Mrs

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"My husband is super attractive to me and I couldn't care less what anybody else thinks.

Mrs"

Well that's great of course, and just how it should be in a conventional relationship, but doesn't really relate to the question.

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester


"We have to be in agreement yes but what's attractive to one isn't same as another. Plus if they are after girl girl only play then less bother about male I'd guess. "

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun?????

This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be.

I thank you lol

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London

My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem...

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun?????

This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be.

I thank you lol"

Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...?

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By *LIRTWITHUSCouple
over a year ago

Chester


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem... "

Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"My theory is this:

...

And therein lies the problem... "

Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives...

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem...

Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem"


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem...

Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem"

As I said, there are exceptions, but I think it's broadly true that women are much more choosy than men.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"My theory is this:

...

And therein lies the problem...

Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives..."

Although I don't think "womens attitudes" is the right way to phrase it. It's society, biology and evolution at stake really, no? I'm very much inclined to see it as a scenario that is more on the men being evaluated rather than the women evaluating them... or a weird, interesting mix of both and neither for deep sociological and psychological reasons that put "blame" on one one specific.

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun?????

This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be.

I thank you lol

Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...?"

I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"My theory is this:

...

And therein lies the problem...

Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives...

Although I don't think "womens attitudes" is the right way to phrase it. It's society, biology and evolution at stake really, no? I'm very much inclined to see it as a scenario that is more on the men being evaluated rather than the women evaluating them... or a weird, interesting mix of both and neither for deep sociological and psychological reasons that put "blame" on one one specific."

"attitude" "wasn't meant in a pejorative way. You can replace with " position" or "stance" if you like.

I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex.

Men, on the other hand,...

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun?????

This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be.

I thank you lol

Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...?

I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise "

But this is a conversation. People enjoy conversations. They are interesting to other people, and analysing things can very very useful. The right answer to people exchanging views isn't "I don't care about this subject, people should do what they want". That's the point where you choose not to engage in the conversation.

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By *ntrepid Explorers OP   Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex.

Men, on the other hand,... "

But / and this is just a heightened exaggeration of life as a whole, right? And it should be... These conventions exist in the "real world" too, but aren't boiled down to these typically over simplified dynamics we see here.

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By *onglegs888Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun?????

This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be.

I thank you lol

Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...?

I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise

But this is a conversation. People enjoy conversations. They are interesting to other people, and analysing things can very very useful. The right answer to people exchanging views isn't "I don't care about this subject, people should do what they want". That's the point where you choose not to engage in the conversation."

I never said I didn’t care... I was merely making the point that over analysis of complex social interactions rarely ends in positives. All you will get is mix of subjective views, critique of your language and at the end of it no one will be any wiser lol. I’m in no way stifling conversation, merely identifying that at times just being a bit Manyana about this crazy place will probably make the ride a bit less bumpy. Either way much love

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By *inkyLondonpairCouple
over a year ago

London


"I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex.

Men, on the other hand,...

But / and this is just a heightened exaggeration of life as a whole, right? And it should be... These conventions exist in the "real world" too, but aren't boiled down to these typically over simplified dynamics we see here."

I don't think it's true in the "real world" because there are roughly equal numbers of men and women interested in forming relationships.

The ratios are skewed here because there a lot more men than women interested in no strings sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It goes both ways I guess.

We’re in this together and sometimes take one for the team

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It goes both ways I guess.

We’re in this together and sometimes take one for the team "

Haha.. yep!

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"Most of the couples who have approached me fit into this. Or they only have pictures of the female half on their profile.

Feeling very unenthusiastic about couples lately, been sucked into relationship drama a few times and it’s such a turn off haha .That's such a shame. Maybe you just haven't met the right couple yet .I (Mrs) played as a single fem for quite a while so we appreciate the dynanics from all perspectives. Juat saying "

Definitely met the wrong couples we are drama free and equally balanced although we tend not to meet single females unless at a party.

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem...

Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem"

Wills another exception, thought I was picky but he’s off the scale lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem... "

I may disagree slightly with some of the numbers, but as a general theory, I would totally support this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My theory is this:

We can divide people on this site into three categories

1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you.

2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't

3. No way will I have sex with you.

Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows

1. 10%

2. 80%

3. 10%

Whereas women's attitude to men is

1. 5%

2. 20%

3. 75%

Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples.

And therein lies the problem...

Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem

Wills another exception, thought I was picky but he’s off the scale lol "

Hands down this woman has the sexiest pics on fab! What a turn on It is browsing her pics!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guarantee that people think this about us quite a bit. But I don't care as to me A is sexy as hell. Hence we've been together 15 years. Everyone's opinion of sexy is different

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford


"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% "

my experience as a couple is about the same as the above quote.

Infact some did attempt to coax her, On her own without me being included in the early days.

It was off putting.

We did find some loverly couples who was interested with us both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15%

my experience as a couple is about the same as the above quote.

Infact some did attempt to coax her, On her own without me being included in the early days.

It was off putting.

We did find some loverly couples who was interested with us both. "

We found that too

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By *ain n MableWoman
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

I think it depends on the audience your targeting. We think we are both ok to average, but appreciate under 45ers wouldn't be interested in us whatsoever. Except single guys wanting an older lady. So we look for couples our age or older.

May I divulge you in a little true story? We met a couple for a social/play once, seen them sitting down when we walked into the bar, we looked at each other and said NO WAY JOSE. Anyway, we sat down with them for a polite chat. They were the most wonderful company, we had such a lovely evening that we couldn't wait to go back to their house. We did, and that was even better.

Their attractiveness was in their personalities.

Anyway. Make of that what you will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it depends on the audience your targeting. We think we are both ok to average, but appreciate under 45ers wouldn't be interested in us whatsoever. Except single guys wanting an older lady. So we look for couples our age or older.

May I divulge you in a little true story? We met a couple for a social/play once, seen them sitting down when we walked into the bar, we looked at each other and said NO WAY JOSE. Anyway, we sat down with them for a polite chat. They were the most wonderful company, we had such a lovely evening that we couldn't wait to go back to their house. We did, and that was even better.

Their attractiveness was in their personalities.

Anyway. Make of that what you will."

We have had that and always give people a chance...but usually we get passed over because of the age gap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess if it’s purely about the aesthetic but different people look for different things-we’ve been attracted to guys and girls who we wouldn’t normally think were our type but we like to connect with people on all levels or it just isn’t happening. Don’t get me wrong, neither of us are leaping into bed with fuglys but beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and on all kinda of levels xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am picky with my meets but I go off personality and how nice you are with me and others around as a human.

I think most people would be similar. To go off looks is shallow looks will fade overtime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am picky with my meets but I go off personality and how nice you are with me and others around as a human.

I think most people would be similar. To go off looks is shallow looks will fade overtime.

"

Looks do fade, yes, but hopefully not over the course of a meet!

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull

So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face "

Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull


"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face

Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met "

Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face

Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met

Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! "

Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face

Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met

Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! "

Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull


"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have?

Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful.

I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face

Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met

Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities!

Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun"

If we're ever down your way would be happy to share one x

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