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"It's like that for me about myself....made up in think I look pretty good but as a guy, average at best but I'm happy with that " Haha, I'd never thought of that angle! I certainly think I looked much cuter covered in eyeliner, not done that for almost 20 years now though. Wow, I'm getting old... I do, BTW, think that about my wife and I too... Not trying to pretend I think I'm a nailed on hottie by any means! | |||
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"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar. It's just beyond shallow." Surprised to hear such a damning reply, but fair enough. I don't quite see how you can deny our experience though? It's not something you can legislate against, it's part of how society works, how attraction works. | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D" I am picky too and rightly so However , ugly or attractive is subjective If one was to rate themselves too highly it could be through their own eyes and not others If you wanted the ‘girl next door’ look I would be unattractive to those looking | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D I am picky too and rightly so However , ugly or attractive is subjective If one was to rate themselves too highly it could be through their own eyes and not others If you wanted the ‘girl next door’ look I would be unattractive to those looking " Absolutely always subjective at the end of the day, but I'd say you're almost always going to be deemed attractive. Sure, not everyone would say so, but whilst you're not my type (and I'd mostly feel intimidated by you in person!), your pics are still very impressive. | |||
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"Ugly is in the beholders eye. No one is attractive if they have an ugly attitude. " Absolutely. I'm sure plenty of club meets happen without anyone knowing what some peoples attitude is though! | |||
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"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar. It's just beyond shallow." I'm still thinking about this reply, does anyone else take this side? To me it just naturally fits with the same massive gender imbalances between men and women on fab in general... I didn't think it was a potentially contentious observation at all...? | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D" I sort of see what you mean but I think your wording is not the best. I see many couples who appear mis- matched. However, people age differently and look for different things in a relationship to simply sex. My husband considers himself unattractive, I most certainly disagree... attraction is very subjective. | |||
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"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar. It's just beyond shallow." | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D I've got two questions: 1. So how does society and humanity work regarding your theory? 2. Have you got a mirror? " I was thinking exactly this especially the mirror one | |||
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"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% i reckon i ruin her chances most of the time when it comes to meets ???? But for us its 50/50 on looks and personality of both of the couple x" well said | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D I've got two questions: 1. So how does society and humanity work regarding your theory? 2. Have you got a mirror? " 1. Many books on the subject. Most recently I was reading a reasonable summary saying that men are attracted to women for looks most significantly. Women however are looking for a good father, stable, secure lifestyle etc. So when this happy real life balance gets subjected to a highly superficial culture like this is, it's only logical that this issue should arise. Seems like its just common sense to me. 2) of course. When did I ever say I think I'm an exception to this observation? | |||
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"I’ve found this when wanting to play with a couple as a single girl, and as part of a couple looking for other couples. Not necessarily that people are ugly, but just not attractive to me. Attraction is a funny thing. I make things harder for myself because I’m only attracted to black guys, so that makes it even more complicated. But I do like playing with couples though, it’s the best fun when I find one with all round mutual attraction. " Three in a bed does increasingly seem to give the best dynamic we're finding. | |||
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"It's the bane of our lives! Not necessarily always the female half of the couple that's hot and the male that's not, but it's the most common mis-match that we encounter. Neither of us wants to "take one for the team", so we would rather just wait to find couples that we both find attractive. Or alternatively we end up with singles..." Totally agree with your approach. We find we are ‘pickier’ in virtual life than in Clubs, as you get to see people in 3 dimensions as opposed to just in 2D! Some people photo well, but look worse, some the other way ...note to self, show which message you agree with! | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D" Looking at it from our own point of view I think I look...well, ok-ish for Fab I guess, but P thinks I look FAF (for which I'm eternally grateful! ) Whereas she has days where she thinks she looks horrid and other days where she thinks "I can look decent if I make a real effort " whereas I think she's an absolute beauty! Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. B | |||
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"Okay. To a few of the posters. Just stop putting yourselves down guys. Yes, think your partner is hot. But no need to put yourselves down. What makes someone attractive is very different to different people. I look at my partner and think phoar!!! That’s fit. " Don’t forget some guys in a couples relationship like to be put down. It’s part of the kink. | |||
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"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar. I could not put it better my self It's just beyond shallow." | |||
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"Ive been sat trying to work out how to even form a reply to this. Your attitude towards men and couples is horrible. A post like this about women just being ugly most of the time would cause absolute uproar. It's just beyond shallow." This | |||
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"L looks gorgeous in the flesh, vivacious, fun and very out going, me I’m a bit of a bear, however I have some level of intellect and I know my way round a dungeon. As we only tend to play (not that we don’t play with men) with ladies the couple thing happens usually off the way we play. We both find intellect and a sense of fun attractive, it’s more the energy they project that is a turn on. We’ve met enough “plastic” daffodils who look great yet fuck like a sack of cement." Plastic daffodils | |||
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"How often do you think that about a couple? I think we're at at least 60%, and most of the 40% is when we think neither of them are. We do appear to be fussy buggers though tbf. It's such a shame that that's the case, but the "why" can get very interesting if you dig deeper and deeper into how society and humanity works. But if you don't... it just sucks that most men (here and globally...) are uggers, right?! :D" Ooooh! Just as controversial is that almost all men don't wear make up remember. Do you think the ladies would match up make up free on average, OP, yourself included? | |||
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"We also struggle to find couples where we find both attractive. It's also usually the case for us that we both find the female attractive but not so much the male Keeping everyone happy seems to be a tall order.." Yes a real tall order I agree | |||
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"Most of the couples who have approached me fit into this. Or they only have pictures of the female half on their profile. Feeling very unenthusiastic about couples lately, been sucked into relationship drama a few times and it’s such a turn off haha " .That's such a shame. Maybe you just haven't met the right couple yet .I (Mrs) played as a single fem for quite a while so we appreciate the dynanics from all perspectives. Juat saying | |||
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"My sub on here but we don't have a couple profile and we won't, but as we're have a BDSM dinamic, if you don't find me attractive you don't play with her, 99% don't on here don't find me attractive and that's cool, I won't loose sleep over it" If you come only as a couple why don't you have a couples profile? Seems a bit strange for her to have solo profile with a caveat that she won't play solo | |||
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"My husband is super attractive to me and I couldn't care less what anybody else thinks. Mrs" Well that's great of course, and just how it should be in a conventional relationship, but doesn't really relate to the question. | |||
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"We have to be in agreement yes but what's attractive to one isn't same as another. Plus if they are after girl girl only play then less bother about male I'd guess. " | |||
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"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun????? This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be. I thank you lol" Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...? | |||
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"My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... " Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem | |||
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"My theory is this: ... And therein lies the problem... " Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives... | |||
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"My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem" "My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem" As I said, there are exceptions, but I think it's broadly true that women are much more choosy than men. | |||
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"My theory is this: ... And therein lies the problem... Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives..." Although I don't think "womens attitudes" is the right way to phrase it. It's society, biology and evolution at stake really, no? I'm very much inclined to see it as a scenario that is more on the men being evaluated rather than the women evaluating them... or a weird, interesting mix of both and neither for deep sociological and psychological reasons that put "blame" on one one specific. | |||
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"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun????? This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be. I thank you lol Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...?" I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise | |||
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"My theory is this: ... And therein lies the problem... Yeah generally that's going to fit a hell of a lot of situations. I've personally been interested to observe that I'm actually pickier than I thought I'd be. Not as picky as the wife, but then she has a lower change of finding decent husbands than I do decent wives... Although I don't think "womens attitudes" is the right way to phrase it. It's society, biology and evolution at stake really, no? I'm very much inclined to see it as a scenario that is more on the men being evaluated rather than the women evaluating them... or a weird, interesting mix of both and neither for deep sociological and psychological reasons that put "blame" on one one specific." "attitude" "wasn't meant in a pejorative way. You can replace with " position" or "stance" if you like. I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex. Men, on the other hand,... | |||
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"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun????? This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be. I thank you lol Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...? I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise " But this is a conversation. People enjoy conversations. They are interesting to other people, and analysing things can very very useful. The right answer to people exchanging views isn't "I don't care about this subject, people should do what they want". That's the point where you choose not to engage in the conversation. | |||
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"I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex. Men, on the other hand,... " But / and this is just a heightened exaggeration of life as a whole, right? And it should be... These conventions exist in the "real world" too, but aren't boiled down to these typically over simplified dynamics we see here. | |||
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"You know when you do something fun as a couple.... then someone over thinks things and before you know it you’ve analysed the death out of things and taken away half the fun????? This to a vast majority of forum posts. Do what suits, fuck people you want to, don’t be a dick, don’t take it personally, ignore different views or debate then sensibly, push boundaries you want to push, be boring when it suits you both, don’t care too much what strangers think, don’t be a dick again. It’s swinging, don’t analyse it too much, don’t let it take over and use it in the fun way it’s meant to be. I thank you lol Wise words that don't seem to relate to the topic in any way...? I mean it literally does. If working out the percentages of who might like who in a 4 person dynamic isn’t over analysing something I’m not sure what is. As I said, it don’t matter.. don’t worry about it. Have fun with your other half, the rest is just noise But this is a conversation. People enjoy conversations. They are interesting to other people, and analysing things can very very useful. The right answer to people exchanging views isn't "I don't care about this subject, people should do what they want". That's the point where you choose not to engage in the conversation." I never said I didn’t care... I was merely making the point that over analysis of complex social interactions rarely ends in positives. All you will get is mix of subjective views, critique of your language and at the end of it no one will be any wiser lol. I’m in no way stifling conversation, merely identifying that at times just being a bit Manyana about this crazy place will probably make the ride a bit less bumpy. Either way much love | |||
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"I think a lot of it comes down to numbers. Given there are hugely more men on here than women, the women can choose the most desirable (whether in physical or personality terms) men. Hence women can be choosy and still have lots of sex. Men, on the other hand,... But / and this is just a heightened exaggeration of life as a whole, right? And it should be... These conventions exist in the "real world" too, but aren't boiled down to these typically over simplified dynamics we see here." I don't think it's true in the "real world" because there are roughly equal numbers of men and women interested in forming relationships. The ratios are skewed here because there a lot more men than women interested in no strings sex. | |||
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"It goes both ways I guess. We’re in this together and sometimes take one for the team " Haha.. yep! | |||
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"Most of the couples who have approached me fit into this. Or they only have pictures of the female half on their profile. Feeling very unenthusiastic about couples lately, been sucked into relationship drama a few times and it’s such a turn off haha .That's such a shame. Maybe you just haven't met the right couple yet .I (Mrs) played as a single fem for quite a while so we appreciate the dynanics from all perspectives. Juat saying " Definitely met the wrong couples we are drama free and equally balanced although we tend not to meet single females unless at a party. | |||
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"My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem" Wills another exception, thought I was picky but he’s off the scale lol | |||
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"My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... " I may disagree slightly with some of the numbers, but as a general theory, I would totally support this | |||
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"My theory is this: We can divide people on this site into three categories 1. Gimme, gimme, gimme. You're hot and Id crawl over broken glass to have sex with you. 2. You're OK, I'd have sex with you but wouldn't be too bothered if I didn't 3. No way will I have sex with you. Now, on the whole and accepting there are exceptions etc etc, I reckon most men would breakdown women on here as follows 1. 10% 2. 80% 3. 10% Whereas women's attitude to men is 1. 5% 2. 20% 3. 75% Hence whilst most men in couples would have sex with 90% of women in couples, most women in couples would only have sex with 25% of men in couples. And therein lies the problem... Disagree, hubby more 20% that is still a problem Wills another exception, thought I was picky but he’s off the scale lol " Hands down this woman has the sexiest pics on fab! What a turn on It is browsing her pics! | |||
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"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% " my experience as a couple is about the same as the above quote. Infact some did attempt to coax her, On her own without me being included in the early days. It was off putting. We did find some loverly couples who was interested with us both. | |||
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"She is defo 85% hot and im the 15% my experience as a couple is about the same as the above quote. Infact some did attempt to coax her, On her own without me being included in the early days. It was off putting. We did find some loverly couples who was interested with us both. " We found that too | |||
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"I think it depends on the audience your targeting. We think we are both ok to average, but appreciate under 45ers wouldn't be interested in us whatsoever. Except single guys wanting an older lady. So we look for couples our age or older. May I divulge you in a little true story? We met a couple for a social/play once, seen them sitting down when we walked into the bar, we looked at each other and said NO WAY JOSE. Anyway, we sat down with them for a polite chat. They were the most wonderful company, we had such a lovely evening that we couldn't wait to go back to their house. We did, and that was even better. Their attractiveness was in their personalities. Anyway. Make of that what you will." We have had that and always give people a chance...but usually we get passed over because of the age gap | |||
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"I am picky with my meets but I go off personality and how nice you are with me and others around as a human. I think most people would be similar. To go off looks is shallow looks will fade overtime. " Looks do fade, yes, but hopefully not over the course of a meet! | |||
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"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have? Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful. I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face " Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met | |||
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"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have? Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful. I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met " Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! | |||
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"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have? Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful. I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! " Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun | |||
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"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have? Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful. I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! " Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun | |||
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"So the question really is - why are all these so called attractive ladies in relationships with these unattractive fellas??? What is it they have? Because these guys are more than their looks obviously - the ladies see beyond what you see. I guess that these guys are like my own - kind, thoughtful, generous with their time & feelings, puts me above himself 99% of the time - oh & he loves me - the same as I love him. I know, he knows hes not a "looker" (neither am I to be fair) but he's great company, funny & respectful. I get that here a lot is based on physical attraction but honestly if you get to know people their attractiveness is more than their physical features on their face Exactly. God knows how many times people have assumed he was my dad!! Especially when we first met Based on your pics you look beautiful together & he doesn't look like he should be your dad! If I'm honest he looks like someone intelligent that a good cup of coffee and a debate wouldnt go amiss with as a prelude to other activities! Shame we aren't closer that coffee would be fun" If we're ever down your way would be happy to share one x | |||
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