FabSwingers.com forum: The rules of swinging...

By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

Yorkshire

single bi fems only play with partner present

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Lets have the one where the single guy gets lambasted for asking politely why some people don't reply to messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

lmao... great post jem!

All bi men cannot control themselves when in the same room as any straight men.

Gonna think of some more haha

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Ooh another one that comes up a lot

Single guy gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told to get over it

Single woman gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told its his loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Couples and single fems never send one line 'wanna fuk' type messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ooh another one that comes up a lot

Single guy gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told to get over it

Single woman gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told its his loss

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

"Couples and single fems never send one line 'wanna fuk' type messages. "

wanna fuk?

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

How about

All straight men are Bisexual (just don't admit it)

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"Couples and single fems never send one line 'wanna fuk' type messages. "

or friends invites or winks, or messages with no face pics....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Couples and single fems never send one line 'wanna fuk' type messages.

wanna fuk?

I've dropped enough hints!

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By *ushroom7Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Nawty men should look forward to several short breaks.

Hornsea is lovely at this time of the year ( it's closed ).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rejection based on preferences is not allowed under any circumstance.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

All fab posts...i forgot about bi men...

All bi men are sub

All bi men want cock more than they want pussy

If you have ever touched another mans cock you are bi

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

Man with no pics...looser

woman with no pics...values her discretion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All fab posts...i forgot about bi men...

All bi men are sub

All bi men want cock more than they want pussy

If you have ever touched another mans cock you are bi"

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

cant accomaodate = married

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

single guys are presumed timewasters until they have at least 10 veris from meets

single guys must pay for hotel if meeting a couple

single guys must always show facepics

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

lets balance it a bit...

couples are always looking

couples dont get nervous

the female of couples is either under the males thumb or a trollop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

LOL ill just be happy witj you jem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There can be no rules for swingers as we all know swingers are all just single men posing as couples or single bi fems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because a straight guy looks at a bi profile and winks doesn't mean he wants to pack fudge ... Figure slipped on mouse 3 time

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

LOL ill just be happy witj you jem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come to think of why do straight guys wanna look at a bi profile and wink yes I said wink ... Does that mean that secretly all men want to be me ... Or just they think they should be me ... I'm

Just greedy like to have my cake and eat it .... And the best think you never have to make do with the ugly one at the end of the night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh how silly of me hi everyone I'm Andy by the way from crich and as everyone says where's that it's near Matlock a place where men are men and a pansy is mot a flower nice to meet you all

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Hello Andy,welcome to the forums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've not laughed so much in ages if I don't stop a bit of wee will come out

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"I've not laughed so much in ages if I don't stop a bit of wee will come out "

welcome

*passes Andy the tenna ladies*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single man living on own watching the hurt locker and laughing my tits off .... Really shouldn't drink wine on a work night

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

All messages MUST be replied to. If you don't reply you're a meany poo-poo head.

Unverified profiles = fake

Lots of verifications = slut

Bi man = gay

Bi woman = desirable

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"All messages MUST be replied to. If you don't reply you're a meany poo-poo head.

Unverified profiles = fake

Lots of verifications = slut

Bi man = gay

Bi woman = desirable"

bi woman= desirable slut

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"All messages MUST be replied to. If you don't reply you're a meany poo-poo head.

Unverified profiles = fake

Lots of verifications = slut

Bi man = gay

Bi woman = desirable

bi woman= desirable slut

Well, I do try.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All messages MUST be replied to. If you don't reply you're a meany poo-poo head.

Unverified profiles = fake

Lots of verifications = slut

Bi man = gay

Straight man =just not tried it yet

Available anytime= vibrator ran out of batteries again

Bi woman = desirable

bi woman= desirable slut

Well, I do try.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Bbw who says no is up her own arse and couldn't get laid on the M1 by a team from the Highways Agency and a steam roller.

Straight = sexually repressed and living in denial.

Meet today = desperate slut

Social meet first = desperately seeking, should be on match.com

Hidden verification = fake, obviously opened another account and verified self.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There can be no rules for swingers as we all know swingers are all just single men posing as couples or single bi fems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ooh another one that comes up a lot

Single guy gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told to get over it

Single woman gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told its his loss

To be fair this is mainly down to two reasons;-

Men usually have thicker skin than women. They are expected to put the effort in with the chasing of the opposite sex so can handle rejection a lot better than women. Therefore a woman is more likely to be greatly hurt by an insensitive comment whereas a bloke will just shrug his shoulders and brush it off.

Secondly a lot will think, silly as it sounds, that offering sympathy to any woman, no matter what the circumstances, is a sure fire way to a shag

Deluded fools....

Oh and my own contribution to "the rules";-

Anyone who decides not to immediately have sex with anyone else is a timewaster and should be exposed as such...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all peeps who have been on over a year without pics or verifications are picture collectors

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

Rule 129...Those single fems who refuse to write a 9 page explanation as to why the guy wasn't their type should expect to receive a message comparing them to a fat Jocelyn Wildenstein who should count themselves lucky that anyone with a pulse and a penis would deign to dip their wick into the bottomless abyss that is her pussy

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Bbw who says no is up her own arse and couldn't get laid on the M1 by a team from the Highways Agency and a steam roller.

Straight = sexually repressed and living in denial.

Meet today = desperate slut

Social meet first = desperately seeking, should be on match.com

Hidden verification = fake, obviously opened another account and verified self. "

shows verifications = hardened swingers who will fuck anything

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Ooh another one that comes up a lot

Single guy gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told to get over it

Single woman gets blocked and wonders why? so gets told its his loss

To be fair this is mainly down to two reasons;-

Secondly a lot will think, silly as it sounds, that offering sympathy to any woman, no matter what the circumstances, is a sure fire way to a shag

Deluded fools....

Oh and my own contribution to "the rules";-

Anyone who decides not to immediately have sex with anyone else is a timewaster and should be exposed as such..."

hmmmm exposed, yes please

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By *onwoodyMan
over a year ago

manchester

[Removed by poster at 02/05/12 23:08:44]

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By *onwoodyMan
over a year ago

manchester

r o f l m a o

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"r o f l m a o "

sorry but that tickled me how it took 2 attempts to post that

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By *ussinflipflopsWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

'Im not Bi but i'll let him suck me and suck him in return'

Just had this conversation with a mate..He's still positive he is not bi !!!

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

starts polishing shoes...thats what you meant isnt it?

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"'Im not Bi but i'll let him suck me and suck him in return'

Just had this conversation with a mate..He's still positive he is not bi !!!

well he may not be...but i refuse to hijack my own thread

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

starts polishing shoes...thats what you meant isnt it?

Thank you hun, that's exactly what I meant....any perverts - step away from the keyboard.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

you forgot

Any singles meeting couples have no say in what happens on the meet

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"1. All single fems are bi and looking for threesome.

2.All sinlge fems really want to hook up with a man

3.All single males get errections on command

4.All single men will accept any sex offered, attraction is not required.

5. Couples never let anyone down.

6.no one drinks to excess at swinging clubs or meets.

7.Women wanking on cam is erotic, especially close up pussy shots.

8. men wanking on cam is pathetic and worthy of ridicule.

Any more?

you forgot

Any singles meeting couples have no say in what happens on the meet

Covered by any singles meeting couples should just be damn grateful they are getting a meet

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

starts polishing shoes...thats what you meant isnt it?

Thank you hun, that's exactly what I meant....any perverts - step away from the keyboard.....

i didnt say what i was going to polish them with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"single bi fems only play with partner present

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about

All straight men are Bisexual (just don't admit it)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

straight woman - bi curious

strange but true?

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

starts polishing shoes...thats what you meant isnt it?

Thank you hun, that's exactly what I meant....any perverts - step away from the keyboard.....

i didnt say what i was going to polish them with

mmmmmmmm....perverts, get yourself back here, could be some fun for all of us

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

bows in awe

While you're down there Jem........

starts polishing shoes...thats what you meant isnt it?

Thank you hun, that's exactly what I meant....any perverts - step away from the keyboard.....

i didnt say what i was going to polish them with

mmmmmmmm....perverts, get yourself back here, could be some fun for all of us

*lifts shoe and licks around ankle*

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Rule 176: cuckold couple actually means he can't get it up anymore so needs twentysomething studs to service his horny wife or she'll leave him.

Appendix to Rule 176: horny wife has never had a really satisfying shag so all twentysomething studs should make it clear in all messages that they will give her a proper fuck and show her what she's been missing...

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 176: cuckold couple actually means he can't get it up anymore so needs twentysomething studs to service his horny wife or she'll leave him.

Rule 177. All male halves of couples are secret cucks who are only here to save their marriage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule 176: cuckold couple actually means he can't get it up anymore so needs twentysomething studs to service his horny wife or she'll leave him.

Rule 177. All male halves of couples are secret cucks who are only here to save their marriage."

Rule 178. all females are only swinging as the male wants to see 2 women

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

177 a

All females are swinging cos they cant pull out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a female won't give out address number email work place etc after a do you wanna fuck message they a prostitute. Or its just me that gets them lol. Oh and if a female dares to meet another man then they a slut. Yeah I am but I not your slut deal with it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single bi females are like rocking horse shit, said by guys who cannot get ffm anywhere.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"If a female won't give out address number email work place etc after a do you wanna fuck message they a prostitute. Or its just me that gets them lol. Oh and if a female dares to meet another man then they a slut. Yeah I am but I not your slut deal with it lol "

i have had to use the same reply...yeah im not your slut, deal...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a female says no they a fake if they say yes they a prostitute if they meet other men then that entitles male to harass the Female for daring to 'swing' on a swinging site and not be a good little slut and wait for the male to bother with her when he needs action and can't get it elsewhere lol

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

"Single bi females are like rocking horse shit, said by guys who cannot get ffm anywhere."

Guys wanting an ffm should know that single bi females can be found leading a unicorn whilst Lord Lucan follows behind on Shergar

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Single bi females are like rocking horse shit, said by guys who cannot get ffm anywhere."

ok hijack my own thread...

last time we had a bi fem friend round kev was knackered after a crap day at work, and went to bed....we both checked it was ok if we played...his reply...sure its not like its nothing i havnt seen or wont again

(before anyone says how rude to go to bed...she is a good friend...and she got lots of cock the next night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"single bi fems only play with partner present

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you forgot.

Women that can take a fist must have cunts the size of the royal Albert hall.

women that have lots of different men also must have echo facilities built in.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"cant accomaodate = married"

Can accommodate = desperate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have had to use the same reply...yeah im not your slut, deal...

Lol yeah they say slut like I gonna be offended. I do find it amusing when guys call me a slut because I WON'T meet him lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol yeah they say slut like I gonna be offended. I do find it amusing when guys call me a slut because I WON'T meet him lol

I just say thanks for the compliment..

cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you forgot.

Women that can take a fist must have cunts the size of the royal Albert hall.

women that have lots of different men also must have echo facilities built in.

Cali "

Yeah but its popular women like you that they can only dream of meeting and it bruises their ego that you have a mind of your own and decide your cam do better. I been called picky and told I lucky to get a man like him message me and I should meet him as he don't give second chances. I just said. You messaged me not the other way round and ts a swinging site not a escort agency shock horror lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/05/12 17:59:53]

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

when going forwards, it's legs out lean back. When going backwards it's lean forwards, legs bent backwards. Just don't ask about the slides, they need risk assesments and allsorts.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"you forgot.

Women that can take a fist must have cunts the size of the royal Albert hall.

women that have lots of different men also must have echo facilities built in.

Cali "

Greedy girls only do it cos mens cocks dont touch the sides anymoew

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By *4FantasyCouple
over a year ago

Spalding

All Bi people think that straight people think that Bi people can't control themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When a man chats to a couple its perfectly acceptable to only address the male as the female is only there for the single man's needs not her own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cock size doesn't matter...unless you are going to use it for whack-a-rat in the local arcade.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At a swinging club, the Jacuzzi will probably resemble a large vat of Solvite by the end of the evening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If a female says she is bi its because she not had the right man yet. that's what I just been informed anyway and apparently if I have the right man I would never look at a woman again. He blocked me when I asked if he had a puss and tits and I don't mean the one he talks out of as that's the only way he gonna have the right equipment for me to not look at a female lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single fems should accept all meet requests from couples and should not voice their desires but instead feel blessed and gratefull that the couple have messaged them with their demands and single female who questions couples selfish attitude are indeed men making out they women as women are here as toys for couples and have no desires of their own to take care of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok so the evening is going well you have arrived checked the footwear no trainers smart shoes shirt trousers suit jacket casually undone walk in to the building ...talk to a couple they seem nice yes i say im bi humph says the fella (no names)im straight the talk continues drink flows and then he whispers in my ear i know im straight but if you like i will suck you off !!!! but im not bi or anything..just to prove all men are bi just some of us dont lie about it..

and besides its like having a top of the range motorbike a top of the range car and only being able to try one of them

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

couples wandering around a club are looking for erotic entertainment...single men wandering around a club are perves and stalkers

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

Can't accommodate can't travel don't do hotels don't do cars no cams no Skype no cyber no IM

Er?........

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Can't accommodate can't travel don't do hotels don't do cars no cams no Skype no cyber no IM

Er?........"

contact mags?

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By *abloBackMan
over a year ago

London

"Can't accommodate can't travel don't do hotels don't do cars no cams no Skype no cyber no IM

Er?........

contact mags?

No postmen lol

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By *rs and mr sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

Boldon

"I've not laughed so much in ages if I don't stop a bit of wee will come out "

that gives the text code - lshabowco (laughed so hard a bit of wee came out) - bit longer than pmsl but hey (ok back to rules)

if a woman doesn't want sex with just any man that asks in a club - she's lesbian or frigid

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"I've not laughed so much in ages if I don't stop a bit of wee will come out

that gives the text code - lshabowco (laughed so hard a bit of wee came out) - bit longer than pmsl but hey (ok back to rules)

if a woman doesn't want sex with just any man that asks in a club - she's lesbian or frigid

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By *z ThongzWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Lets have the one where the single guy gets lambasted for asking politely why some people don't reply to messages "

Because its unsolicitated mail in the first place and doesnt requiring answering or justifying why its not answered , seemingly.

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By *hropshire69Couple
over a year ago

Telford

Any more ?????

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

if men cannot get it up they are at fault...if women dont come the man is at fault

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

Couples who have been on over 2 months with no photos or verifications are actually a man

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Couples who have been on over 2 months with no photos or verifications are actually a man"

couples who dont meet every single man who asks are actually men

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

The swingers you find most attractive will always live a ridiculously long way away

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"The swingers you find most attractive will always live a ridiculously long way away "

now thats actually true

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"... saying slut like its a bad thing

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"The swingers you find most attractive will always live a ridiculously long way away

now thats actually true

If you're down south the ones that want to meet are up north,.. and if you move up north the feckers where you used to live suddenly fancy meeting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"if men cannot get it up they are at fault...if women dont come the man is at fault

n if a man doesn't come it's his own fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Single fems with no pic on profile will only read mail from those who include a pic

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"The swingers you find most attractive will always live a ridiculously long way away

now thats actually true

If you're down south the ones that want to meet are up north,.. and if you move up north the feckers where you used to live suddenly fancy meeting!

And if you live in England you suddenly notice how amazing, those in Scotland and northern Northern Ireland are,

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By *partan_dMan
over a year ago

????

The first rule of swinging is you do not talk about swinging...

The second rule of swinging is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SWINGING..

If somebody yells stop, goes limp or taps out the fucking is over..

Only two people fucking at a time and only one fuck at a time.

NO SHIRTS NO SHOES!

Fucking will go on aslong as it has to!

If this is your first night of swinging you have to fuck.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"The first rule of swinging is you do not talk about swinging...

The second rule of swinging is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SWINGING..

If somebody yells stop, goes limp or taps out the fucking is over..

Only two people fucking at a time and only one fuck at a time.

NO SHIRTS NO SHOES!

Fucking will go on aslong as it has to!

If this is your first night of swinging you have to fuck.

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

Women rule forum, any single males who challenge this rule and disrespect women will find that thier swinging days are over, though John Wayne Bobbits ex may still be up for a meet.

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"The first rule of swinging is you do not talk about swinging...

The second rule of swinging is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SWINGING..

If somebody yells stop, goes limp or taps out the fucking is over..

Only two people fucking at a time and only one fuck at a time.

NO SHIRTS NO SHOES!

Fucking will go on aslong as it has to!

If this is your first night of swinging you have to fuck.

Absolutely loved that one, and you could follow it up with the asignment,

you must go out and start a fuck with a complete stranger and let them win/in/cum (whatever) you will find this very difficult as most people wont want to fuck

or `you wanna see pain? swing by first methodist hall saturday night'

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By *partan_dMan
over a year ago

????

Project Mayhem did turn abit sour. I hope my swinging career doesn't go down the same path.

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

Don't join if you are the fat uy with big moobies its another fight club reference by the way, not a fattist comment (could hear the knives sharpening as i wrote)

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By *partan_dMan
over a year ago

????

His name was ROBERT PAULSON.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"His name was ROBERT PAULSON."

only in death do we have names.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"The first rule of swinging is you do not talk about swinging...

The second rule of swinging is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SWINGING..

If somebody yells stop, goes limp or taps out the fucking is over..

Only two people fucking at a time and only one fuck at a time.

NO SHIRTS NO SHOES!

Fucking will go on aslong as it has to!

If this is your first night of swinging you have to fuck.

Absolutely loved that one, and you could follow it up with the asignment,

you must go out and start a fuck with a complete stranger and let them win/in/cum (whatever) you will find this very difficult as most people wont want to fuck

or `you wanna see pain? swing by first methodist hall saturday night'

one for all swingers...especially those who whine

Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

i want that on my tombstone

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By *ove2-shareCouple
over a year ago

South Gloucestershire

"The first rule of swinging is you do not talk about swinging...

The second rule of swinging is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT SWINGING..

If somebody yells stop, goes limp or taps out the fucking is over..

Only two people fucking at a time and only one fuck at a time.

NO SHIRTS NO SHOES!

Fucking will go on aslong as it has to!

If this is your first night of swinging you have to fuck.

Absolutely loved that one, and you could follow it up with the asignment,

you must go out and start a fuck with a complete stranger and let them win/in/cum (whatever) you will find this very difficult as most people wont want to fuck

or `you wanna see pain? swing by first methodist hall saturday night'

one for all swingers...especially those who whine

Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

i want that on my tombstone

first you have to give up, first you have to know not fear know that you are gonna die, Hey fight club is prob my fave film of all time.

of course in swinging (fuck club) just like in fight club a a man might end up with rubber tightened around his sack but for eminantly more enjoyable reasons.

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By *partan_dMan
over a year ago

????

To all those who make threads like "why can't i get a meet?" "Rate my profile"

LOSING ALL HOPE IS FREEDOM!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

prob already mentioned

just because you are swingers you cant have standards......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lean back to go forward and lean forward to go back. works for me.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"prob already mentioned

just because you are swingers you cant have standards......"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All swingers choose by picking car keys from a bowl ....... Boom chicka wow wow cue 70s porn music

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By *obsrocketMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

[Removed by poster at 12/05/12 14:24:55]

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP Couple
over a year ago

hexham

"Rule 176: cuckold couple actually means he can't get it up anymore so needs twentysomething studs to service his horny wife or she'll leave him.

Rule 177. All male halves of couples are secret cucks who are only here to save their marriage.

rule 177a All divorced males are secretly cucks who failed to save their marriage"

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By *obsrocketMan
over a year ago

Loughborough

"Rule 176: cuckold couple actually means he can't get it up anymore so needs twentysomething studs to service his horny wife or she'll leave him.

Rule 177. All male halves of couples are secret cucks who are only here to save their marriage.

rule 177a All divorced males are secretly cucks who failed to save their marriage

oops 177a has been taken best change to 177b for All divorced males are secretly cucks who failed to save their marriage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

females are actually free prostitutes soley here for mens desires and couples entertainment and any female who dont fall at a mans feet after the well thought out and never used before'come and suck my cock slut' message are clearly not thinking straight and need to question their behaviour not the mans . when a couple message with thier demands a female should feel lucky and blessed that they actually bothered to message them not question as to what she is ment to get from such a meet, females get the satisfaction of being a fuk toy to couples if that is not what ur here for then ur very obviolusly a fake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule 127...If after being a member of Fab for 3 days and you've not been shagged senseless, post a "Please critique my profile" thread

Rule 128...Single fems who politely reply "Sorry you're not my type" must then respond in great detail to the "Why not" message

ffs i just killed my fone choking on coffe while reading this , its so true though and dont forget the i didnt wanna fuk you anyway brigade lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Rule no 17?

If you are online you must be looking to meet and should accept messages and invites, including those wishing to meet in 10 mins time.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Next rule:

You should be polite enough not to message ;

- Non smokers if you yourselves smoke

- People out of your age range

- People for bi fun if they are straight

HOWEVER!

You must be open to messages from;

- people who do not smoke and wont meet smokers (when your profile clearly states that you do)

- people who don't want to meet couples as old as us

- lots of straight men who when questioned are actually more than happy to suck cock or even take a cock! How straight is that?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Rule no 17?

If you are online you must be looking to meet and should accept messages and invites, including those wishing to meet in 10 mins time....."

Not only freely available to any sap that can string a message together but also be permanently in stockings Basques etc even if you only have the School run planned that day as you never know when your gonna be lucky enough to receive a demand sorry I ment exclusive invitation to be picked up to suck cock in a car lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That because I am bi I have absolutely no morals and will jump on anything with a pulse male or female I lack any capability to refrain from sexually assaulting straight females. and because I a bi single female I have no preferences and am solely here for absolutely anyone of any age for absolutely any sexual desire they may have and I have absolutely no right to question anyone's intentions I should in fact fall at their feet because as a bi single female that is where I belong lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just thought of a new one. When male is at least twenty-five stone on a good day and asks gal what size she is when reply is a fourteen (not skinny but below national average) state sorry I don't fuck fat birds and block her. Oh the irony.

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By *pl- capdagdeCouple
over a year ago

Cap d agde,France

BBW single female will only meet gym fit men ..no fatties please !

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By *sMinxyWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

ohhh Jem.... I have been in giggles reading this thread!!!

dont forget this rule!!!

If you a single mum and refuse to leave your kids to pop out for a quick fuck 10 mins after first mail is sent you just have to be a timewaster.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"BBW single female will only meet gym fit men ..no fatties please !"

Lol yeah that's like me wanting a six pack lol I the opposite I wont meet skinny gals I just don't fancy them and six pack on a man does fuck all for me too lol give me some meat to hold onto mmm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looks are not important... for people who have perfect toned bodies

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