FabSwingers.com forum: Wife wants to give up swinging what should I do

By *clc OP Couple
over a year ago

Athlone/Dublin

We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

Now she does not want to go to clubs or party invites which is very frustrating as I still want to go. The strange thing is that the last few times she went to a club she really enjoyed herself, played around and enjoyed multiple orgasms.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

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By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

let her make her own decision with out any pressure, maybe she just wants a break

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If she won't discuss it you're either going to have to try and get her to talk or accept her decision. There's not really any other way to find out what's going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'll have to ask her why she wants to stop instead of assuming she'll have a good time. You can only address the situation knowing her side and how she feels, then figure out how to proceed from there, whether that's going back into the scene together, solo. or not at all.

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By *wickermanMan
over a year ago

Staines

Respect your wife's wishes at this time. Your in danger of your desire for swinging overriding your concern for your relationship, that is a road to trouble IMO

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Lmao..u better get a new one...

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By *clc OP Couple
over a year ago

Athlone/Dublin

I feel if we have a break she won’t have the confidence to continue the lifestyle at a later date.

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By *clc OP Couple
over a year ago

Athlone/Dublin

I feel if we have a break she won’t have the confidence to continue the lifestyle at a later date.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I guess you have to decide which is most important to you. What are your non-negotiables?

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

Respect her decision

For us swinging is about sharing the enjoyment. If one of us stopped enjoying it then there would be no point continuing.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I feel if we have a break she won’t have the confidence to continue the lifestyle at a later date."

You do really need to talk to her. Try and be sensitive.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

Buy flowers and chocolates... I think that's standard procedure. Ha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relationship over swinging EVERYTIME!! We have always said if one stops we both stop, if it stops being fun we stop, if we fall out over swinging we stop!

Our love for each other overrides swinging 100%

Maybe respect her wishes dont discuss it and maybe she just needs a break and may want to go back to it at some point, but above all show her your with her and respect her wishes and that she means more to you than swinging.

Im sure she has her reasons but let her tell you in her time

Good luck

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

Who initiated the play in clubs? Even if she did have a good time was she coaxed into it?

Have you ever been to a club and not had any sexual action? Just gone to enjoy the atmosphere or has she ended up having sex every time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/20 00:55:49]

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By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago

Filthy Desires Upon Trent

One Veri 3 years ago. It doesn’t sound if she was reallly into the Scene anyway and it’s you pushing her to do something she really doesn’t want to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hate to say it though, re reading your initial post swinging seems more important to you than her feelings

Dangerous ground

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think it's fair if one partner has a problem and the other refuses to discuss it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love swimming , but if she doesn’t want to get in the water any more, you can’t force her to get wet !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I love swimming , but if she doesn’t want to get in the water any more, you can’t force her to get wet ! "
I

But it would be nice if she would explain why she didn't want to go swimming any more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she has lost her water wings ?

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By *ina VonteeseTV/TS
over a year ago

Leicester

Respect her wishes but if you wish to continue create a a mutually agreed protocol

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's your relationship and only you know your wife. As she's experienced it and knows her needs, it's obviously something that is right for her to now stop. Who wouldn't respect that! Presumably you will respect her preferences and choices. She comes first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But it would be nice if she would explain why she didn't want to go swimming any more"

In my experience women tend to open up on they're terms and when they are ready to

Give her time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she's not alone i know of many who in 2020 have decided to call it a day on here and the club scene.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you push her to do something she doesn't want to do then your relationship will end - simple choice.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

We go through phases in life. Perhaps swinging was a phase not a permanent lifestyle. Now she's had enough.

One thing I would say, my relationship would be at the forefront of my mind. Going into it didn't you have the "if one of us wants to call it a day" talk?

Fucking randoms over my partner...can't even finish the sentence as it's a no brainer, but each to their own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

She probably knows better than you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if me or my guy each said to one another that we didnt want to do this then it would be no problem at all. We would drop it in a heart beat. Maybe embrace that she does not want to share anymore?

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Discuss swinging on your own, from a single male profile, NOT your couples one as that would be deceptive, if she's OK with it all good. If not then I would suggest giving up if you still want her to be your wife. Hope this helps!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can't and shouldn't want to talk her into it. She's made it clear so you need to respect her decision and stop, or if it's something you can't live without then you need to be honest with her about that. Just be prepared that it might end your relationship.

As others have said, for me, the second my husband doesn't like this anymore would be the second I walked away from it for good. Swinging is certainly low in the priority list in the grand scheme of things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Own decision mate don't force her you never no she might have a change of heart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has come across after reading the whole thread as you are putting your desires before your relationship to be honest. As a lady of a similar age to your wife, I was wondering about the menopause? It can be a bit of a game changer in life OP ... that is easier with a little support!

plus I get the bit about talking (& yes you should) but also in my life have just not wanted to do things! Simple as not wanted to anymore, got bored or might not have been the fun it seemed no other reason other than not ... noone has ever made me (or should anyone) carry on!

I would have thought relationship before anything ... swinging (like anything) should never be everything!

Life first OP ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can't and shouldn't want to talk her into it. She's made it clear so you need to respect her decision and stop, or if it's something you can't live without then you need to be honest with her about that. Just be prepared that it might end your relationship.

The most perfect answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most perfect answer "

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

"
First and foremost, asking strangers with no prior knowledge of you what they would do in a situation that you have only partially described is the worst, and I mean the worst, way of solving a relationship problem.

Next up; you have a relationship problem, not a 'my wife doesn't want to swing any more' problem.

Why do i say that? Because she won't tell you why she's saying no. That isn't about swinging, it's about you and her. Until you fix the you and her bit, the swinging bit is an irrelevance.

There's lots in what you've said that make me wonder wbout possible causes but guess what? I'm not your wife, and I don;t know enough about you to know if they way you casually objectify your wife ('she's been complimented on her boob and pussy') are just hamfisted attempts at telling the story or whether you really do just define her desirability around those physical characteristics.

Like I say, there's lots I don't know about your relationship, but if what you've said is an accurate reflection, you need to work on communication and the reasons why there are things she can't or won't discuss, not on the swining part of this.

Good luck.

Mr Icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Respect her wishes

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By *rmbtsTV/TS
over a year ago

stockport

All you you can do is respect her wishes and prob have conversations over if she wishes you refrain from swinging too

That way it will not damage your relationship and will show support

Maybe she just wants a break maybe not,

Have a break, don’t push her and maybe she will talk at it later on and especially if you have shown her your respect and gone along and supporting her,

I sure this was the way as a couple you both got into swinging in the first place

I wish you all well, take care

Emma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go by yourself. If the Mrs didn't want to go to clubs anymore it wouldn't stop me, you both have choices in life, no one owns you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go by yourself. If the Mrs didn't want to go to clubs anymore it wouldn't stop me, you both have choices in life, no one owns you. "

That sounds selfish

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

We’ve discussed this before. And for us if one wants to give it up we’ve both agreed to give it up. After all if there’s pressure from one to keep on or do something the other doesn’t want to do then it will prob be the last time and spoil it for ever doing it again.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Hate to say it though, re reading your initial post swinging seems more important to you than her feelings

Dangerous ground"

It does read that way, which made me cringe a bit.

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

She probably knows better than you "

Totally! Even if she did go back and enjoy it she might feel awful after, or worse still go when she doesn't want to and the slippery slope begins. Got to value the relationship first surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go by yourself. If the Mrs didn't want to go to clubs anymore it wouldn't stop me, you both have choices in life, no one owns you.

That sounds selfish "

I spent too many years being bossed around by a woman, definitely not selfish I'm just not owned by anyone and can make my own decisions as can the Mrs, it's called confidence

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

First and foremost, asking strangers with no prior knowledge of you what they would do in a situation that you have only partially described is the worst, and I mean the worst, way of solving a relationship problem.

Next up; you have a relationship problem, not a 'my wife doesn't want to swing any more' problem.

Why do i say that? Because she won't tell you why she's saying no. That isn't about swinging, it's about you and her. Until you fix the you and her bit, the swinging bit is an irrelevance.

Good luck.

Mr Icebreaker"

That's a really good answer! Sums up what I was going to write!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

"
you can't force her to do it ifs shes had enough thats the end, 5 years is a good innings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We been playing for about five years only in clubs, never arranged a meet which is not a problem especially when you hear some horror stories.

She does not want to discuss the issue but I know if she went back to a club she would really have a ball (excuse the pun)

Maybe she thinks she is too old but She has been complement numerous time about her fine boobs and tight pussy which she does acknowledge.

Anyone experience this, what should I do to get her back swinging again or should we just retire from the scene ?

Dee

Next up; you have a relationship problem, not a 'my wife doesn't want to swing any more' problem.

Why do i say that? Because she won't tell you why she's saying no. That isn't about swinging, it's about you and her. Until you fix the you and her bit, the swinging bit is an irrelevance.

Good luck.

Mr Icebreaker"

Nailed it, the OP is quite an uncomfortable one.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"Fucking randoms over my partner...can't even finish the sentence as it's a no brainer, but each to their own. "

Yes, I happen to agree, but there was a thread somewhere on here before Christmas from a woman who was seeing a man who isn't into this lifestyle, but doesn't seem to have a problem with her being in it.

But she definitely said that if things get more serious he ever asks her to stop she would ditch him in a heartbeat because she's basically too addicted to fucking randoms

So it does happen, clearly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fucking randoms over my partner...can't even finish the sentence as it's a no brainer, but each to their own.

But she definitely said that if things get more serious he ever asks her to stop she would ditch him in a heartbeat because she's basically too addicted to fucking randoms

So it does happen, clearly "

Think the difference there was that that is her lifestyle and whereas here they were actually in a relationship first and seem to swing together?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It does annoy me a bit when some people get on their high horse, holier than though, I'm a better swinger than you are and know exactly how it should be done, attitude . The guy is just asking for a bit of advice and then gets a shed load of lecturing to make them feel bad about themselves.

All peeps need to say is step back a little, give it a rest for a few weeks about doing it, try not to mention it and see if she is up for it after a little rest, rather than You have to stop now and forever as your relationship is in terrible trouble Bla Bla Bla.

Chill out, have a drink or 2 and then chat about it freely with her. Such a a conversation can be fun discussing what you did or didn't like.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

My partner decided to stop swinging. We have hidden our profile in case he ever changes his mind. He is happy for me to arrange meets and chat through my single profile. Maybe this is the way forward for you too OP.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"Fucking randoms over my partner...can't even finish the sentence as it's a no brainer, but each to their own.

But she definitely said that if things get more serious he ever asks her to stop she would ditch him in a heartbeat because she's basically too addicted to fucking randoms

So it does happen, clearly "
that was me... and have pretty much benched the guy but this is different situation. As they are / were a couple that came into the situation..

And btw it's not about random fucks it's a lifestyle choice for me and I'm not monogamous..

OP... take a break.. take a breathe and find a way to talk x perhaps she wasnt enjoying it as much as you thought x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/02/20 09:04:24]

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

"My partner decided to stop swinging. We have hidden our profile in case he ever changes his mind. He is happy for me to arrange meets and chat through my single profile. Maybe this is the way forward for you too OP. "

We also are not playing as a couple at the moment but she is still happy for me to play but if my wife was against it I would stop as well. Respect is absolutely needed in this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is a novel idea for you

Stop being selfish and respect her wishes

if she doesn't want to swing anymore then you shouldn't force her or try to convince her to carry on

if she doesn't want to carry on she doesn't want to carry on end of conversation really for me

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By *forfun500Couple
over a year ago

walsall

Maybe she feels she losing her connection with you and feels if she dont stop going she may loose you but dont want yo tell you and hurt you...

Or maybe the problem is you.

Who knows until you both sit and talk it thru.

You both have to be on the same level and understandings in this life.

As others have said respect her decision dont make her feel she needs to go or you will lose her for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put her over your lap, slap her bum (gently)and tell her that you will divorce her if she does not comply...

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By *clc OP Couple
over a year ago

Athlone/Dublin

Hi all

Thanks for all the advice, I probably have been too selfish, not thinking of her feelings.

I think maybe time for us to step back from swinging, it was great fun while it lasted

Hopefully back soon

Dee

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By *aughty Lovers 69Man
over a year ago

Wallasey

Maybe she is just feeling a little insecure with herself and within the relationship xx

In my opinion its nice to get compliments from others but it won't change how she sees herself, only she can do that, and takes alot of patience and love from her partner xx

Give her time, show her she is the most important to you in the whole world and in time she may change her mind but she also may not change her mind, I guess you have to decide what's more important to you, swinging or the relationship x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talk it out and compromise. It's the only way x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Fucking randoms over my partner...can't even finish the sentence as it's a no brainer, but each to their own.

But she definitely said that if things get more serious he ever asks her to stop she would ditch him in a heartbeat because she's basically too addicted to fucking randoms

So it does happen, clearly "

Oh I know that, I just couldn't imagine doing it myself.

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By *heIcebreakersCouple
over a year ago

Cramlington

"Go by yourself. If the Mrs didn't want to go to clubs anymore it wouldn't stop me, you both have choices in life, no one owns you.

That sounds selfish "

Tbh That sounds abusive and I worry for his partner

Ms Icebreaker

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

give up swinging to, its the only Way

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By *rMrsMorningstarCouple
over a year ago

near bridgend

[Removed by poster at 07/02/20 02:57:33]

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By *rMrsMorningstarCouple
over a year ago

near bridgend

"Relationship over swinging EVERYTIME!! We have always said if one stops we both stop, if it stops being fun we stop, if we fall out over swinging we stop!

Our love for each other overrides swinging 100%

Im sure she has her reasons but let her tell you in her time

Good luck"

Exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Relationship over swinging EVERYTIME!! We have always said if one stops we both stop, if it stops being fun we stop, if we fall out over swinging we stop!

Our love for each other overrides swinging 100%

Im sure she has her reasons but let her tell you in her time

Good luck

Exactly this.

I agree except if she know longer want to swinging she may just need time out and if she still feel the same just respect it and move on

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