FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosting? Really?

By *penbicouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

We were due to meet a couple the other day. I had even asked them to let us know if they wouldn't be able to make it (as we were iut and coming back). They said, "of course, with a smiley face."

And you know how the rest of the story goes. Just zero contact and, as far as they would know, we were sat waiting for them wondering where they were.

Rejection is fine. Not an issue at all. And I'm cool with people ignoring messages. But when people agree to a meet but then just vanish in the hours leading up to it? Rude and childish.

Sorry for ranting and I should know better by now, but it just astonishes me.

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By * and BCouple
over a year ago

Durham

"We were due to meet a couple the other day. I had even asked them to let us know if they wouldn't be able to make it (as we were iut and coming back). They said, "of course, with a smiley face."

And you know how the rest of the story goes. Just zero contact and, as far as they would know, we were sat waiting for them wondering where they were.

Rejection is fine. Not an issue at all. And I'm cool with people ignoring messages. But when people agree to a meet but then just vanish in the hours leading up to it? Rude and childish.

Sorry for ranting and I should know better by now, but it just astonishes me."

There's some sad people who get a kick out of being horrible and nasty towards others. They lead a very sad life. Don't let it get under your skin OP. They are trying to knock your confidence due to a lack of theirs. Be positive and move on to the nicer people in this lifestyle. Always be polite and have your glass not half full but to the brim.

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By *igfun911Man
over a year ago

East Lancashire

Yes very annoying indeed, had the same a couple of weeks ago.

I'm the same, I don't mind a no or an honest excuse but nothing at all and getting blocked is just rude.

Ruins it for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened to us a few times

Annoying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Annoying and a waste of time. Fingers crossed this was a one off

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It is annoying isn't it.

My ex once agreed to meet me at a certain place and time and just didn't turn up, no reason he just wanted to do something else. Among many other factors that and the day he said "go and clean your kitchen" we're the deciding factors in me walking.

To this day if someone keeps me waiting even ten minutes I'm outa there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happened many times and infuriating as it is, just move on. We mainly do club meets now exactly because of this.

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By *penbicouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"There's some sad people who get a kick out of being horrible and nasty towards others. They lead a very sad life. Don't let it get under your skin OP. They are trying to knock your confidence due to a lack of theirs. Be positive and move on to the nicer people in this lifestyle. Always be polite and have your glass not half full but to the brim.

It doesn't get under *my* skin, but I'm annoyed for Alice. I've been doing this for a few years and know the pros and cons of this site. However, she's new to it all and was quite excited about things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's their loss. Would you really want to meet people with such disregard for others. Bet they are either crap shags ..... or a man!!!!

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By *avenlouCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Im glad its not just us but wish ghosting wasn't a thing.

We put a lot of effort into making sure we communicate well, alway returning detailed messages. As such we have had some great contacts on here that have extended onto other networks, somany have ended with ghosting and its getting really old! We were even told “I'm so glad i joined fab and met you” and then with no explanation you get ghosted. Twice i have tempted ghosters into being honest after a period of ghosting and one decided they were interested in us only to ghost again after a few days.

Its abhorrent behaviour and cowardly. I value honesty well above ego and wish there was more honesty. Good communication is probably the sexiest thing IMO.

Rant over, soapbox back in the cupboard!

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By *iger4uWoman
over a year ago

In my happy place

It happened to me today.

Social meet, changed time twice but i went along anyway.

I ordered my coffee... Got whatsapp to say he is on his way...... Boom.. Nothing since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing worse than when this happens , it's just rude and uncalled for , if you're gonna take the time to talk and arrange a time and place, atleast turn up otherwise not only have you wasted your own time. But the time of the person or couple who were excited to see you

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By *penbicouple OP Couple
over a year ago

Northampton

"It happened to me today.

Social meet, changed time twice but i went along anyway.

I ordered my coffee... Got whatsapp to say he is on his way...... Boom.. Nothing since. "

Yeah, we've had that - they're on the way, just waiting for the babysitter, etc...

Why the acting? It's so unnecessary!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It happened to me today.

Social meet, changed time twice but i went along anyway.

I ordered my coffee... Got whatsapp to say he is on his way...... Boom.. Nothing since. "

Almost as annoying as being on the way to somewhere and getting a message “sorry can’t make it”.

At least they communicate, but once you’ve set off somewhere it’s frustrating !

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

It's happened to a few times, I guess it's just the Male of the couple getting his kicks,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have had someone walk into pub for social, walk past me and leave. Said nothing as was not 100 sure was them. Later got message saying mobile died so could not tell me was not coming.

It still happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a message to say that the woman had fallen asleep and missed our appointment........at 2 in the afternoon!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message to say that the woman had fallen asleep and missed our appointment........at 2 in the afternoon!! x

This hasn't happen to me as yet but if it did I wouldn't care. I've learnt over the last few months lifes to short and just to move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message to say that the woman had fallen asleep and missed our appointment........at 2 in the afternoon!! x

This hasn't happen to me as yet but if it did I wouldn't care. I've learnt over the last few months lifes to short and just to move on.

Important principle to remember !

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s never happened to us, but we only agree to meet people if we have their numbers - maybe that cuts out the fakes ?

Travelled over 100 miles last night to meet a couple at a hotel we’d only text on WhatsApp for a few days, but had their numbers , both have lots of good veris , was in no doubt at all they’d turn up

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

It happened to me last night. We arranged to meet at 8pm and he asked if we could make it 8.30pm. Fine. Said he was setting off. I texted that I had arrived. He said he was outside at the back. Then he texted he couldn't find me in the pub. Then he texted he was in a different pub by mistake, a few minutes away. By now it was 9.15 and he said it was too late to come to the pub I was in. Ridiculous time waster. What pleasure did he gain from that ?

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By *athan 123Man
over a year ago

rochdale oldham border

"We were due to meet a couple the other day. I had even asked them to let us know if they wouldn't be able to make it (as we were iut and coming back). They said, "of course, with a smiley face."

And you know how the rest of the story goes. Just zero contact and, as far as they would know, we were sat waiting for them wondering where they were.

Rejection is fine. Not an issue at all. And I'm cool with people ignoring messages. But when people agree to a meet but then just vanish in the hours leading up to it? Rude and childish.

Sorry for ranting and I should know better by now, but it just astonishes me."

Their loss I’d say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a message to say that the woman had fallen asleep and missed our appointment........at 2 in the afternoon!! x

This hasn't happen to me as yet but if it did I wouldn't care. I've learnt over the last few months lifes to short and just to move on.

This!

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By *entlecaressMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/ Beverley

It's happened to us a couple of times but we're usually in the area doing something already so it's not spoilt the time. I haven't, as a single male meet, had it happened yet in 3 years but as I usually have a positive outlook I wouldn't be bothered thier loss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It happened to me last night. We arranged to meet at 8pm and he asked if we could make it 8.30pm. Fine. Said he was setting off. I texted that I had arrived. He said he was outside at the back. Then he texted he couldn't find me in the pub. Then he texted he was in a different pub by mistake, a few minutes away. By now it was 9.15 and he said it was too late to come to the pub I was in. Ridiculous time waster. What pleasure did he gain from that ?"

That’s absolute madness. There’s obviously a group of people on here that actively like wasting the time of others. I wonder if it’s some form of power / control / narcissism?

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By *yx_InannaWoman
over a year ago

Burslem

I've had exactly the same happen to me.

Fab is great when you have subscription you can see distance on profile.

I've had one guy whose asked to meet quite a few times. We did arrange to meet for a social. He didn't turn up. He said he was in bar round corner with his mates he was coming soon. Fab said he was 2 miles away. Hour later asked him if he was coming over, he replied just got get in taxi. My response a taxi from the club round the corner?!?! He said he was at home he hadn't been out yet, I told him not to bother don't waste any more of my time. He still messages I ignore em now they sit there as I've told him I won't set up a meet for him if he wants to meet me then he can come along to the night club when I'm there. He has yet to show up.

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