FabSwingers.com forum: Racial Etiquette In Swinging

By *kmale421 OP Man
over a year ago

wirral

I often read adverts wanting Black Cock, and there's plenty of true and fantasy stories about sex with black guys. There is also the famous Black Mans Fan Club which has special nights at several clubs around UK, and no-one seems to have any problem with such requests or advertising, and for the record I don't either, (Infact I sometimes fantasise about a Black Womans Fan Club...lol). However, on reading quite a few profiles of couples and single ladies, if they specifically don't want to meet with a non white person, and state it clearly in profile by saying for example NO Black Guys/Asians etc, Just not my thing. Why does the couple/lady feel the need to qualify this with a statement that says something like, Not being racist, just not my thing.

Thoughts from all races about; Is BBFC racist against whites, and does it offend anyone if someone says they don't want to meet a non white person?

My own view is BMFC and such requests in adverts for black cock isn't offensive to me, but I just don't see why people who don't want to meet coloureds feel the need to state they ain't being racist.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think because they maybe worry that people will assume that they are racsist if they dont want black people etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I would imagine like when I had it on my profile, people would frequently message saying we were racists.

So I guess many feel the same or have had the same problems.

Cali

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By *kmale421 OP Man
over a year ago

wirral

seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen a few profiles with something along the lines of "Black cocks only,if you haven't got a black cock don't contact me/us"

I often wonder what the response would be if someone put the same thing with respect to white cocks.

With that in mind some people feel the need to cover their own arses with the 'i'm not racist' tag..although I suspect some of them may be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It kinda annoys me on here with these requests anyway. I view requests for black only or no white only in the same vein. preference is fair enough but before your seeing the person, your seeing the colour! To me in that sense it may not be racist but it is not that far from it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you know what people are like man. they`ll still get accused of the `R` word

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

I have been accused of racism when turning down non-white members of the site. Members who have conveniently missed out that i turned them down because I'm heightist or locationist...

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

Since the introduction of the Race Relations Act, it has always been OK to positively discriminate in favour of ethnic peoples in some areas to redress balance. In some areas it is actively encouraged! It is no different to the sexual discrimination act in the workplace. In some areas of employment and politics it is seen as OK to positively discriminate!

However, you are wrong to say that when people put down that they either want or don't want a colour/race/religeon/occupation that they are being any kind of "ist". They are stating a preference as to who they play with and that is everyones right. If they like Black guys then that is what they want, not that white guys are in any way inferior..

Or are you suggesting, in the guise of a reasonable post
"seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!"
that you think people are being racists?

Having said that, I do believe the gangs of black guys types of meet is borderline racist in as much as they guys we have met who are in these kinds of groups, view white women as there to be used and they are treated like trash. One we met in Cap d'Agde actually said it is like turning the tables and "we are the masters"! Funnily enough, not the people who want the Black guys who are racist, more the Black guys themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got accused of being a racist this morning actually. Black or white 5'6" is no good to a 5'8" girl. Well not this one anyway

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I got accused of being a racist this morning actually. Black or white 5'6" is no good to a 5'8" girl. Well not this one anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try being an asian on this site

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I think because they maybe worry that people will assume that they are racsist if they dont want black people etc. "

Sadly personal preference seems to be ok except in just this one feature.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

absolutely no harm in making it clear what your looking for in my opinion .fact

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think because they maybe worry that people will assume that they are racsist if they dont want black people etc.

Sadly personal preference seems to be ok except in just this one feature.

Yes its weird why that is. I dont suppose people get so huffy if someone states they dont like bbw or whatever. Or do they ?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"I think because they maybe worry that people will assume that they are racsist if they dont want black people etc.

Sadly personal preference seems to be ok except in just this one feature.

Yes its weird why that is. I dont suppose people get so huffy if someone states they dont like bbw or whatever. Or do they ?"

If they start a forum thread on it they do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh heck lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i once replied to said request for Black Cock only by slamming the door shut on said member for 20mins until a nice shade of black (with a hint of blue) but alas i was still turned away upon my arrival

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps FAB should introduce a positive sex ual discrimination rule....to qualify for membership one in ten meets should be required to be with a person off a differing race to yourself ???? GET REAL we all simply have diff things to float our sexual boats....declaring that in a polite manner is not offensive. disclamer...no offence is implied upon any member of any race religeon body size geographical location.....blah blah blah ...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are regular BMFC attenders. The reason I go is that the guys are gorgeous, young, well dressed, toned, sexy, and the majority of them seen to like little old me. I seem to be popular, the guys seem to like curvy blonde big boobed big bottomed women. My ego holds no bounds.

Now you could argue that these guys wouldn't look at me twice in the real world and that's probably correct. But I also wouldn't be interested in them either.

We also attend big boob parties too where the criteria is pretty obvious and my OH is in seventh heaven. We kinda like these specialist kind of nights. It isn't racism in my eyes, its just something I can do out of the norm which is fun. I don't actually think too deeply about it.

I know I'm being used as white pussy just as I am there for black cock. I'm not offended and the guys aren't as they wouldn't be regular attenders

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a site who's primary function is to bring people together who are looking for certain criteria in the field of sexual fulfilment. There is probably just about every sexual taste, orientation and activity on offer.

This site is about choice, and we are all free to choose. No one should be chastised or shouted down for their choices, nor those who choose to play with them.

At the end of the day if all involved have made an informed, open choice then they are free to do whoever they choose and should not be singled out for doing so.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I have something on my profile about Asian guys not being my thing.

It's not that I see the colour first... I just know through spending time on this planet I have yet to meet an Asian guy I fancy shagging.

People can accuse me of what they like... they're still not getting a shag.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have in our profile that we only want to meet with black gentlemen.

We did put it right at the top so guys know what our preferences are. We also reply to every message we receive politely.

We don't see it as being racist at all, just preference, which is what I said to one chap who called us racist recently when I replied to his stating that we only meet with black guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I've never been part of a BMFC and would not think about doing so ! Its my preference . I prefer none black women but its not stated on my profile . Not everyone sees it one way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try being white single and over 60

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got accused of being a racist this morning actually. Black or white 5'6" is no good to a 5'8" girl. Well not this one anyway

I've been accused of being racist by a white guy when I said no thnx and I've had abusive messages because I state that I love black men on my profile.

So it works both ways and most profiles that say blackmen only also have the 'I'm not racist it's just my preference' comment to.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"Try being white single and over 60"

Well of course, you have only found yourself a small pool to find playmates in!
"No point in contacting me if you live a long way away as wont be meeting"
so that would automatically put us off!

You are not a bad looking guy and look like you take care of yourself, so cast the net wider, some couples may want to travel to you and don't mind! We travel to Burnham every month at least to see friends, so most would say Basildon is not far at all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didnt think it was about race, thought it's more to do with choice. Your either attracted to someone or your not.

People frequently put no BBW's or no single guys on their profile, its not discrimination its choice and thats the important part of swinging.

We all have our like and dislikes it would be a sad boring place if we all liked the same things.

Sit back and enjoy what ever your personal preference is. Happy Swingingxxxx

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I am happy for people to have preferences. I fully accept that black people can be and are racist too (even when you take the institutional power element out it is always about power and superiority). I find it very annoying to read the 'I'm not being racist line' because it has the same resonance for me as the 'I'm not being rude' or 'no offense' followed by something rude and offensive. Just leave the statement without the qualfier.

The thing that offends me most though is when people contact me and their profiles say no black or Asian and I point out that I am black they then gt rude about me refusing to meet them. My preference is always to meet the polite and intellgent people that capture my fancy.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"Since the introduction of the Race Relations Act, it has always been OK to positively discriminate in favour of ethnic peoples in some areas to redress balance. In some areas it is actively encouraged! It is no different to the sexual discrimination act in the workplace. In some areas of employment and politics it is seen as OK to positively discriminate!

Or are you suggesting, in the guise of a reasonable post seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world! that you think people are being racists?

Positive discrimination is illegal in this country - you can only take positive action to redress imbalences

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Well I've never been part of a BMFC and would not think about doing so ! Its my preference . I prefer none black women but its not stated on my profile . Not everyone sees it one way

I think my views on the whole bmfc thing is well known, it's not something for me and not interested in joining in any way shape or form for me it plays into every stereotype i abhor and have spent my life fighting in the real world..... But I will say that for every one that says a no white blah blah that I could show you a no black blah blah... So I am sure it evens itself out

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I don't care what colour or race someone is. I'm an equal oppotunity shagger.

Seriously though, I agree that it is odd that people feel the need to put that they are not racist. Purely because there is a reason why they don't want to meet black or brown people, and if it isn't because of their race, then what other reason could it be? So put your preference, but don't feel the need to qualify it. The type of person you want to meet IS personal preference, and telling others that preference saves time and feelings all round.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been with a black male as i do not find them attractive at all..just like i do not find chinese men attractive..not racist..just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

blak wite dus it matter all the same anyway!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!"

Its choice and people should be able to put what size, age, race, shoe size they like. I don't agree with NO XXXX's though but until we have filters for more you can block and delete, ignore or politely say no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"blak wite dus it matter all the same anyway!!!!

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By *hynottsCouple
over a year ago

nottingham

"Perhaps FAB should introduce a positive sex ual discrimination rule....to qualify for membership one in ten meets should be required to be with a person off a differing race to yourself ???? GET REAL we all simply have diff things to float our sexual boats....declaring that in a polite manner is not offensive. disclamer...no offence is implied upon any member of any race religeon body size geographical location.....blah blah blah ...........

"
well im ok on that one hubby is jewish and im c of e british

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By *ubbliciousWoman
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"I don't care what colour or race someone is. I'm an equal oppotunity shagger.

"
- Love this!

I have probably gone for an equal number of black and white men over the years. Even a couple of asian men chucked in. As far as I am concerned it's about attraction and chemistry, NEVER skin colour!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm part Irish, I'm not sure which part though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It kinda annoys me on here with these requests anyway. I view requests for black only or no white only in the same vein. preference is fair enough but before your seeing the person, your seeing the colour! To me in that sense it may not be racist but it is not that far from it."

ok in my opnion u r wrong and here is why i have never been attracted to black or asian guys an i still haven't found an asian guy apart from oreo that i find attractive in anyway so why is that racitist its not a fuck anything its a i need to have something for me to want to meet. i have also met a black guy but not to play with as i was only playing with his partner as he wasn't my thing they were happy with this i think its a perference and i don't see why anyone should justify anything i don't meet guys full stop and am not about to say sorry to anyone for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL @ _hynotts.... we get unwelcome comments as me and chris have a big age gap...... I can confirm to all that some dam fine tunes are played on my old (older) mans fiddle lol.....You ageist lot....shame on you !

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

Personally dont see it as racism, I/we think the racism tag has been inflated to suit certain things.

For example, (just an example)

No asians please (asians are a race)

No black men please (black is a race)

Straight male, females only please

Surely the male race can say (if they wanted to), your being racist by not wanting fun with men!

Now if they use derogatory terms ie nigger, paki etc then I see it as a racist thing which is totally unnaceptable in any walk of life, not just swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have something on my profile about Asian guys not being my thing.

It's not that I see the colour first... I just know through spending time on this planet I have yet to meet an Asian guy I fancy shagging.

People can accuse me of what they like... they're still not getting a shag."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Personally dont see it as racism, I/we think the racism tag has been inflated to suit certain things.

For example, (just an example)

No asians please (asians are a race)

No black men please (black is a race)

Straight male, females only please

Surely the male race can say (if they wanted to), your being racist by not wanting fun with men!

Now if they use derogatory terms ie nigger, paki etc then I see it as a racist thing which is totally unnaceptable in any walk of life, not just swinging."

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

I am one of these people who has had to justify her choice of no non white men with the the im not being racist card after being sent a few messages accusing me of being racist by some asians and black guys who all seemed to take it on themselves when i said no thanks your not my type in reply to messages automatically said its because im not balck isnt it your racist i had no idea about 2 of them but they had badly written messages and came across as rude. I have suffered equally rude messages from people i have contacted having a go at me about being a bbw however that seems to be more acceptable. We all have preferences but some people need to put things more politely sometimes. I dont like offending people and wouldnt want to be thought racist as i have friends from all walks of life and many different ethnic backgrounds I just choose not to fuck them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's fine to state ur preference; although it's a but disheartening to read 'NO BLACK GUYS' as it must be for white guys reading 'NO WHITE GUYS' but there you go - but I certainly wouldn't bother sending someone who'd specifically ruled me out a message - I mean, what's the point?? Just move on to the next bit of skirt ... There sure is plenty of it on here - for both black and white guys and those inbetween

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

"seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!"

I disagree..I think any members who express a racial preference are often accused of being racists by the rejected and disgruntled party-so white men contacting couples who only want to meet black ones and black men who contact couples who only want to meet white ones..if you get my drift!

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

"I mean, what's the point?? Just move on to the next bit of skirt ... "

"next bit of skirt"..I think it could have been described a little more 'delicately'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

"blak wite dus it matter all the same anyway!!!!

So you'd meet anybody then irrespective of their personal qualities?

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

"seems funny though that asking for black cock isn't seen as racist, but effectively asking for white cock is seen as being racist. Strange old world!"

Not really. It makes sense; it's a reflection of society. White people are very rarely the victims of racism. Non-white people are often victims of racism. Therefore we're more likely to be sensitive when people select against non-whites, even when as in swinging it's perfectly their right to do so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Race and sexuality is very complicated, in my opinion. From a very young age we often see images that paint idealised beauty as being slim and white, and it is hard to move beyond the internalisation of that presentation. So while it is not malicious racism, it is internalised racism.

This doesn't mean that anyone who prefers one ethnicity is a bad person or anything, just that maybe they should examine where their so-called preferences spring from. Sometimes it's good to challenge and break things down.

That said, race goes hand in hand with institional power - being racist against 'whites' is a bit of a non-entity because whites in this country are seen as the norm, and hold the institutional power. Asking for black cock (or black women) specifically is often part and parcel of fetishising race as something other an exotic. Which is just as marginalising as refusing it at all.

'Affirmative action' and quotas are not ideal in and of themselves, but they can go a long way towards re-dressing the balance and helping to change perception as long as whoever is doing it manages to avoid tokenising and undermining the very people affirmative action is supposed to help. I tend to view those schemes as a transitional thing that helps to challenge the way people in positions of power think.

Back on topic - If one expresses racial preferences, either for the same ethniticity, or for a fetishised 'BBC' (or even a BBW) then those preferences are springing from images of beauty and attractiveness that have been fed to us from a young age, and involve internalised 'ideas' about what is 'normal' and 'attractive'. Expressing those preferences is not malicious in a 'big bad racist' kinda way, but does expose internalised prejudices or fetishization of others who are 'not like us'.

TL:DR - yes, if you express preferences along racial lines (in any direction) then you have some racial prejudice that has been internalised. This does not make you a horrible person or a mythical racist, it means you are part of a society and system that priorities and idealises the needs and desires of white people. How you deal with that is up to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And just to clarify - I don't think anyone should have to fuck anyone they don't want to, regardless of gender, sexuality or race. I just think the WHY of that is more complicated than that.

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By *hetalkingstoveMan
over a year ago

London

Good post Caesura

"Asking for black cock (or black women) specifically is often part and parcel of fetishising race as something other an exotic. Which is just as marginalising as refusing it at all."

Yeah, it kind of makes me feel uncomfortable when I see people posting how much they love black men/women. And may be it shouldn't, I don't know. But it doesn't seem very flattering to any one individual to be wanted primarily because of their skin colour.

But then I'm a straight white male; I don't really have any proper perspective on this stuff...

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Race and sexuality is very complicated, in my opinion. From a very young age we often see images that paint idealised beauty as being slim and white, and it is hard to move beyond the internalisation of that presentation. So while it is not malicious racism, it is internalised racism.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try being an asian on this site

"
I prefer to meet Asian guys only... but I once put this on my profile and the abuse was really bad... Each to their own I say and why can't guys just accept that! At then end of the day we are all here for fun ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"absolutely no harm in making it clear what your looking for in my opinion .fact"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Try being an asian on this site

I prefer to meet Asian guys only... but I once put this on my profile and the abuse was really bad... Each to their own I say and why can't guys just accept that! At then end of the day we are all here for fun ..

Try being a white woman with an Asian partner we get several abusive messages a week lol, but hey ho we just report & block

We don't think people stating on their profiles white or black only is racist & we certainly do not take offence, we actually prefer people to state these things up front as it saves us from contacting them. Afterall everyone is entitled to their own preference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got told i was racist in chat the other day because i said that i wouldn't sleep with someone just because they were black (and by that i mean the only thing he had to offer me was " want to fuck a black cock we are the best")

So i told him my white boyfriend does it just fine for me,, to which he proceeded to tell me that white guys cant do it as well as black guys and to ask any white girl out there and they would tell me that... to which i replied i'm not going to sleep with you just because you are arrogant and black to which i was called a racist bitch and told to fuck off... to which i did!

I'm not racist... i'm mixed race myself... but i'm not going to sleep with someone just because of the colour of their skin in my experience it doesnt make them better lovers...

not that i wouldn't sleep with a black guy if i thought he could offer me more than the colour of his skin

So i can see why people put that to avoid the inevitable abuse they will get for saying they don't want to sleep with people of a different colour or the same colour in some cases..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I mean, what's the point?? Just move on to the next bit of skirt ...

"next bit of skirt"..I think it could have been described a little more 'delicately'!"

lol perhaps - depends what you're wearing

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By *ntelligent Gent.Man
over a year ago

.....

Cae's spot on as ever - and is completely my own thinking, however not so eloquently put at all.

My simple request - if you do 'no asian', put it at the top.

The amount of profiles I've ready with reams and reams of stuff only to put that at the end (feels like 10-20% of profiles during my paranoid moments) is well....time exhausting! Enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we all have tastes that differ from one and another thats what makes us human, and we all have choices to make again not the same as everyone else, so why do we not except that we are not going to be everyone's taste end off.for the ones that give abuse to the women either single or as a couple for not wanting to fuck you wether your black white yellow or red get over yourselves and grow up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True but you cannot get a positive out of a nagative and therefore there is no such thing as positive dicrimination. As an employer i look for attributes of the individual not the colour or religion of the person. I do not give a damn about race relations telling me i should employ a black person over a white person and visa versa.

Sex is a preferance and as such anyone on here has the right to say if they will or will not have black or white people. Personally it matters not but again other people will see that as me saying im not racist. Seriously in modern day society you cannot win.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh forgot to say id like nothing more than a good well hung black guy to shag my wife but it appears there are no black BBW lovers in and around Warwickshire lol

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

"True but you cannot get a positive out of a nagative and therefore there is no such thing as positive dicrimination. As an employer i look for attributes of the individual not the colour or religion of the person. I do not give a damn about race relations telling me i should employ a black person over a white person and visa versa."

You are of course, quite wrong! I, as an employer can positively discriminate if I am in a situation where a group is under represented and it is pertinent to the job in hand. Also, Politicians want to positively discriminate to get more ethnics and women into areas where there is not equal representation.

Of course you look for attributes rather than colour, but the law does say you have to do that anyway! In any case, an employer would be daft not to as the needs of the company should come first anyway.. You may not think it works, but I have never seen discrimination only classed as a negative! It is a word and you can attach any connotation to any word! You may see it as a negative, but I see it as a tool to be used where appropriate, that can give some justice to those oppressed! Therefore, a positive!

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

Simply the most compelling account of 'sex & race' I've ever read, anywhere!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thing that gets me is the ladies who use guys just for there black cock yes have seen it done and the guys get treated like dirt. Do you guys actually like being treated like a piece of meat just because of your colour. I dont care if black or white cock I enjoy all cocks

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By *ont Ask Dont GetWoman
over a year ago

amersham

I don't really go for blond guys...does that make me blond-ist?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trophy black guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good point Shazza. As a blk male it does make you think when your with some women, would she be riding me if i was white. Its made me think, im more than just a Cock and a colour....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I would imagine like when I had it on my profile, people would frequently message saying we were racists.

So I guess many feel the same or have had the same problems.

Cali "

i used to get that too, i used to have on my profile that i wasnt looking for asian men and id get several messages a week from asian men asking me why i didnt meet asian men, some was ok about it but just wnated to know why some gor quite rude about it, so i took it off my profile, i still dont meet asian guys i just dont put it on my profile anymore

So maybe these other women are getting the same as i did which is why they feel the need to state they are not racist, because sexual preference does not mean you are racist, i dont meet women but that dont mean i dont like then as friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people believe we should live in a world where 'we're all the same', 'everyone is equal', a world where preference is policed by the politically correct brigade and the casual labelling of people with an 'ism' is common place if they don't conform. This world has the best intentions and has helped provide the tools to combat discrimination in society (which is a great achievement) but it at times creates a feeling of guilt for people who simply have preferences.

In the real world people are different, at our best we celebrate the huge diversity and feel comfortable in the knowledge that these wonderful differences lead to individual personal preference and therefore choice.

The problem with choice means we have rejection. The politically correct world that at times appears to demeam choice has given the 'rejected' a charter of 'isms' to soften the blow of rejection.

Being politically correct may help you communicate in a non offensive manner but it won't change what your genuinely attracted to.

As long as the right language is used I prefer people to put their preferences on their profiles.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"
I find black guys of this sort absolutely disgusting and often of Caribbean decent. They have no respect for women whatsoever. Almost always these sort of guys are broke asses who have nothing else to offer but their cock hence the very stupid comment about tables being turned. That's why they can never accommodate as they live in shoe boxes, lol! Oh and have you noticed how they seem to target the fat women? Yep! You probably have noticed... Losers (with big cocks)

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"We are regular BMFC attenders. The reason I go is that the guys are gorgeous, young, well dressed, toned, sexy, and the majority of them seen to like little old me. I seem to be popular, the guys seem to like curvy blonde big boobed big bottomed women. My ego holds no bounds.

Now you could argue that these guys wouldn't look at me twice in the real world and that's probably correct. But I also wouldn't be interested in them either.

I know I'm being used as white pussy just as I am there for black cock. I'm not offended and the guys aren't as they wouldn't be regular attenders

"
Surely you've got some pride somewhere in you, how can anyone man or woman be okay with being used as a sexual object? I get it though, fat woman who is a reject in the real world and black guy who has nothing to offer but his cock because he's probably broke and also kind of a reject in a different sense... The perfect combo!

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"The thing that gets me is the ladies who use guys just for there black cock yes have seen it done and the guys get treated like dirt. Do you guys actually like being treated like a piece of meat just because of your colour. I dont care if black or white cock I enjoy all cocks"
They don't even know they're been used, they're ok to be just a black cock, at least they've got something to offer. You'll find most of these guys are broke, ill educated, been put down since they were born so have no pride but hey! They've got a big cock PHEW!

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Very good point Shazza. As a blk male it does make you think when your with some women, would she be riding me if i was white. Its made me think, im more than just a Cock and a colour....

"
Well at least you're thinking, which is a start and certainly more than I can say for most black guys on here!

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"I think it's fine to state ur preference; although it's a but disheartening to read 'NO BLACK GUYS' as it must be for white guys reading 'NO WHITE GUYS' but there you go - but I certainly wouldn't bother sending someone who'd specifically ruled me out a message - I mean, what's the point?? Just move on to the next bit of skirt ... There sure is plenty of it on here - for both black and white guys and those inbetween

"
And why is it disheartening?! Only someone who has a low self concept will be bothered by this sort of thing. Oh! By the way "next bit of skirt"? From that one statement I can see the whole picture...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And why is it disheartening?! Only someone who has a low self concept will be bothered by this sort of thing. Oh! By the way "next bit of skirt"? From that one statement I can see the whole picture..."

Perhaps i have a low self concept then, not something I was aware of but I'm open to reflection - and yes I think the 'next bit of skirt' bit could have been phrased a bit more delicately but there it is... Apologies if anyone was offended.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thing that gets me is the ladies who use guys just for there black cock yes have seen it done and the guys get treated like dirt. Do you guys actually like being treated like a piece of meat just because of your colour. I dont care if black or white cock I enjoy all cocksThey don't even know they're been used, they're ok to be just a black cock, at least they've got something to offer. You'll find most of these guys are broke, ill educated, been put down since they were born so have no pride but hey! They've got a big cock PHEW! "

Now this is just offensive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely you've got some pride somewhere in you, how can anyone man or woman be okay with being used as a sexual object? I get it though, fat woman who is a reject in the real world and black guy who has nothing to offer but his cock because he's probably broke and also kind of a reject in a different sense... The perfect combo! "

Aren't all of us being used as sexual objects when swinging.

When I attend parties, when I meet anyone, I don't want then to offer me anything other than sexual exploration. I'm not interested in anything anyone has to offer me.

In the real world I have everything I want. I have a successful career, I have a gorgeous man who is more attractive and sexy than anyone I've ever met swinging, I have a good standard of living and a good family life. Therefore I am contented and don't need to look to anyone else to provide something for me. Maybe those who crave something more from others are not content or happy in their real lives, maybe there's something missing that they need to reach out to strangers for.

Therefore the parties mean nothing more to me then a good night out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've come across the no non-whites etc. quite a bit on here and I just respect that person and move on. I don't dwell on whether they are being racist or not.

You can't really help what kind of person your attracted to. I've personally never been attracted to many black girls and I believe I'm far from a racist person. So I just look at it from that angle.

There is also the reasoning that the people in question may have had a bad experience with someone, or even more than one person, of that race. In this scenario I still don't think it is racism although it is a situation which would only happen with a minority. E.g. a few bad experiences with white users of the site are unlikely to cause someone to put no whites on their profile.

Regardless of the reason however it is sill think it's stupid to message that person and accuse them of racism. The word gets brandished around far too casually these days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why are people even discussin this?

isnt this website about meeting people you DO wanna fuck, not ones you DONT?

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

" Just move on to the next bit of skirt "

and that lack of respect is why we are yet to meet any single men at all, no matter the race or religion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the problem is exactly what you said postee- when someone wants black cock they ask for black cock. You almost never see them write "no white/Asian/orient/etc". But when someone wants white cock they dont say "Im looking for white cock" they say no black/Asian/etc. Its way its written. Black-cock.hunters dont say they're excluding everyone else, But White-cock-hunters clearly show they are. Maybe they should reword to "looking for white cock" lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im not bothered just peoples preference!

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By *uteguy06Man
over a year ago

Swindon

I don't think there is any racism here its just about personal preference only thing that get me is when someone has had a bad experience with an Asian and they totally write off all Asians.

Not all Asians are the same!

I'm suprised that people get hate messages due to their preference didn't think it happened on here.

Its hard on here being a single asian guy as there is not that many people intrested in brown guys.

Anyone who likes my profile by the way drop a message.

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By *kexplorersCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

"Try being an asian on this site

Personally being of Asian origin myself (Mr K)I think this is a a very silly comment. It is hard enough for 'any' single male on here no matter what colour they are.

We are a mixed couple and therfore not everyones cup of tea. We do not take offence when we are given a polite no or told the lady only plays with white males. We just move on.

Everyone has some form of preference from colour, height, age, weight etc.

Just because we all happen to be on a swinging site people presume it should be one big 'sex frenzy' and all personal preferences go out of the window.

People that tend to complain are the ones who feel they should not put in the effort and then feel hard done for by rejection.

This website is a 'tool' and if used correctly when an oppurtunity comes along can be lots of fun

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

ok, our 2p, as we havent really said anything on this, and i usually comment on everything. lol.

its not the colour, more the stereotypes that dont turn us on, imo.

agree with the comments that no ONE is any worse, or better, than anyONE else, yet its an amount of people that ruin it for others.

Em has no interest in black guys because any black guy she has come into contact with has been arrogant and dismissive of womens views and opinions, so now she sees all black guys as being sexist bullies. not her fault, but the fault of the majority of black guys she has had any contact with.

same with asian guys, because of the culture of sexual repression that seems previlant (including the couple that have just openend the shop near where she lives (talk about stereotypes, what?), he can do what he wants, but his wife does what she is told) she again sees tham as seeing women as nothing more than pieces of meat to be used and treated hiw they like.

and even though there are white men that have th esame opinions (especially in the irish countryside) she has met enough white guys that dont give this impression (not least her father that treated her mum like a queen, so gave her a very positive message from an early age)

so, in essence, any of these guys that view peoples preferences as racism, dont blame the individual, blame the culture your own people have, and in some circumstances still do, promote.

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By *ntelligent Gent.Man
over a year ago

.....

" dont blame the individual, blame the culture your own people have, and in some circumstances still do, promote."

I don't have "a people" - think that's the whole point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discrimination laws only applies to those offering services.

As an individual you can completely ignore people of any appearance, race, belief etc

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

" Just move on to the next bit of skirt

and that lack of respect is why we are yet to meet any single men at all, no matter the race or religion"

So you tar all single blocks with the same brush of course it's your choice but if we all take a similar view about groups of people then no one would ever meet on here

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By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish

Just for the record I like pussy, any colour. I haven't yet had the pleasure of playing with a black woman, something I want to put right. But no rush. I have no problem with any human that I fancy.

So my 'preference' is all women, if they come along with a male partner that's fine. There is equally no restriction on the male's ethnicity either.

Haven't yet met a green person, but bring it on!

Does this make me a slut...... yes but that's a different thread! LOL.

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By *ovedupstillCouple
over a year ago

mullinwire

" Just move on to the next bit of skirt

and that lack of respect is why we are yet to meet any single men at all, no matter the race or religion

So you tar all single blocks with the same brush of course it's your choice but if we all take a similar view about groups of people then no one would ever meet on here

ok, we put a meet up for a single bloke, and every message we got was along the same lines of 'i love fucking cock hungry milfs'.

out of the dozen or so messages we got, 3 were polite and respectful, but were from black guys, that we havent any interest in anyway.

for us, respect is everything, so why should we even entertain someone that wants to 'use' Em rather than becoming a part of our fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So you say this which is fair enough:

"Em has no interest in black guys because any black guy she has come into contact with has been arrogant and dismissive of womens views and opinions, so now she sees all black guys as being sexist bullies. not her fault, but the fault of the majority of black guys she has had any contact with.

And then you say this:

" out of the dozen or so messages we got, 3 were polite and respectful, but were from black guys, that we havent any interest in anyway.

Do I need to highlight the contradition?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A couple on here recently were looking for "genuine black guys" which raised a smile with me because it implied that they were sick of guys turning up pretending to be black

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I often read adverts wanting Black Cock, and there's plenty of true and fantasy stories about sex with black guys. There is also the famous Black Mans Fan Club which has special nights at several clubs around UK, and no-one seems to have any problem with such requests or advertising, and for the record I don't either, (Infact I sometimes fantasise about a Black Womans Fan Club...lol). However, on reading quite a few profiles of couples and single ladies, if they specifically don't want to meet with a non white person, and state it clearly in profile by saying for example NO Black Guys/Asians etc, Just not my thing. Why does the couple/lady feel the need to qualify this with a statement that says something like, Not being racist, just not my thing.

Thoughts from all races about; Is BBFC racist against whites, and does it offend anyone if someone says they don't want to meet a non white person?

My own view is BMFC and such requests in adverts for black cock isn't offensive to me, but I just don't see why people who don't want to meet coloureds feel the need to state they ain't being racist."

I know peeps say it is personal preference but to us it is still a racist attitude as you don't get peeps saying "no one with blue eyes". If the colour of someone's skin puts you off in our opinion you are racist. Some dark skinned peeps do not want to fuck with fair skinned either, we have had this and this is racist in our opinion.

Imagine yourself, as you are, in every detail but with either dark, or light skin, depending on what you actually are. Does it make you a different person.

Well, maybe it would, if people treated you in cursory manner because of it.

Just our opinion ...............

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Try being an asian on this site

Personally being of Asian origin myself (Mr K)I think this is a a very silly comment. It is hard enough for 'any' single male on here no matter what colour they are.

We are a mixed couple and therfore not everyones cup of tea. We do not take offence when we are given a polite no or told the lady only plays with white males. We just move on.

Everyone has some form of preference from colour, height, age, weight etc.

Just because we all happen to be on a swinging site people presume it should be one big 'sex frenzy' and all personal preferences go out of the window.

People that tend to complain are the ones who feel they should not put in the effort and then feel hard done for by rejection.

This website is a 'tool' and if used correctly when an oppurtunity comes along can be lots of fun

Well said that man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok, our 2p, as we havent really said anything on this, and i usually comment on everything. lol.

its not the colour, more the stereotypes that dont turn us on, imo.

agree with the comments that no ONE is any worse, or better, than anyONE else, yet its an amount of people that ruin it for others.

so, in essence, any of these guys that view peoples preferences as racism, dont blame the individual, blame the culture your own people have, and in some circumstances still do, promote."

nods in agreement. yes it it far more about culture than colour.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"So you say this which is fair enough:

And then you say this:

out of the dozen or so messages we got, 3 were polite and respectful, but were from black guys, that we havent any interest in anyway.

Do I need to highlight the contradition?

Some people really should know when to stop typing.

I do understand some of the comments though. Although I was married to a black man for nearly 25 years, I know he's the polar opposite to his dad and brothers in how he treats women.

Our daughter's have chosen partners with qualities similar to their dad's: men that treat them like queens. (One black the other white).

I do not play with black men as the few abusive messages I've had have been from black and Asian men. One Asian man thought a message titled "black bitch" would endear himself to me.

I like submissive men. I have more chance of winning the jackpot on Euromillions tonight, being signed to model Victoria Secrets next season and marry Prince Harry before finding a submissive black man that would allow me to hang him from my ceiling, attach vibrating nipple clamps, encase his knob in a Space Shuttle and ram a butt plug up his arse on here...but I'd like to experience being proved wrong.

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By *uteguy06Man
over a year ago

Swindon

But it's unfair to judge everyone of that possible culture, based on experiances from people you believe are from the same or similar cultures as not everyone is the same.

As for example I'm of Indian origin but I was born here never even been to mainland India. I class myself as a British Asian. I don't follow any of the standard cultures otherwise I wouldn't be on here and married by now. Everyone should be given a chance obviously providing you find them at least slightly attractive and not base on a very small minority who make bad names for the rest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't really get all this nonsense - we love parties and clubs and yes any colour or race is fine depending on our choice for the night . BBC is a favourite and the fact that we may use them is no different to them using us!

It's what we both want so no problem ?

We do and choose to do what we want the same as anyone else - nothing racist jet exercising choice !

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By *usty boobsWoman
over a year ago

studley

when it comes to race people always think they have to validate in some form or another, hence the byline. my thing is people have their preferences be it black, white, fat or slim, people are often too quick to criticise or pass judgement on something. If you have a profile stating they dont want a black cock and you have one move on, if you have a white one knock and try your luck - simples.

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"So you say this which is fair enough:

And then you say this:

out of the dozen or so messages we got, 3 were polite and respectful, but were from black guys, that we havent any interest in anyway.

Do I need to highlight the contradition?

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

be okay with being used as a sexual object? I get it though, fat woman who is a reject in the real world and black guy who has nothing to offer but his cock... The perfect combo! "

As that fat little reject, and black to boot!, I still like sex. I have standards and I have preferences - I like cocks! I really don't like supercilious pricks of any colour and there are many of those around. So, if I find a friendly, attractive man willing to take the time and EFFORT to please this fussy, fat rejected by the 'real world' then he is welcome. There are very few that have met me that would say I am easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

be okay with being used as a sexual object? I get it though, fat woman who is a reject in the real world and black guy who has nothing to offer but his cock... The perfect combo!

Bravo!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some amazing black guys on here as well as amazing white guys. There are always bad apples on either side that lets the team down. And I tend to go for the person rather than just the cock. If I can click and have a giggle with that person then who cares what colour or race they are.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"ok, our 2p, as we havent really said anything on this, and i usually comment on everything. lol.

its not the colour, more the stereotypes that dont turn us on, imo.

agree with the comments that no ONE is any worse, or better, than anyONE else, yet its an amount of people that ruin it for others.

so, in essence, any of these guys that view peoples preferences as racism, dont blame the individual, blame the culture your own people have, and in some circumstances still do, promote."
I've never heard more total and utter bollox! Anyone who stereotypes has got to be ignorant and uneducated. You do realise that black people are of different cultures that can be very different to each other and that also includes Asians. So to say the nonsense you said above just tells me how uncultured you are and that you probably haven't travelled a lot and i can put a bet that you NEVER went to university either, prove me if i'm wrong. When I was single MOST of the white women I dated told me tales of how they were ill treated by their WHITE husbands or partners. It is an individual thing and not a race.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do have to say I am partial to a jamaican guy or caribbean. So laid back and chilled love it.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"I do have to say I am partial to a jamaican guy or caribbean. So laid back and chilled love it."
I think you'll fInd that black guys generally are chilled. I'm African and normally go for bigger women or at least big butts and I'm do chilled I go way back like car seats

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a myth that black men have bigger cocks than non-black men. It doesn't always follow that way as I've seen some white men with some big uns lol. However, I don't think that people should want to bed someone else based solely on the colour of their skin. I'm a black man and I would like to have sex with women of all races and colour. But then again, I'm a man

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By *tra vidaCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

Any stereotyping is distasteful but inevitable, I guess, when it involves sharing intimate liasons. That doesn't mean it is acceptable.

We certainly are uncomfortable with the colour or race bar in profiles and additionally with messages that feel the need to state the senders skin colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you say this which is fair enough:

And then you say this:

out of the dozen or so messages we got, 3 were polite and respectful, but were from black guys, that we havent any interest in anyway.

Do I need to highlight the contradition?

Some people really should know when to stop typing.

I do understand some of the comments though. Although I was married to a black man for nearly 25 years, I know he's the polar opposite to his dad and brothers in how he treats women.

Our daughter's have chosen partners with qualities similar to their dad's: men that treat them like queens. (One black the other white).

I do not play with black men as the few abusive messages I've had have been from black and Asian men. One Asian man thought a message titled "black bitch" would endear himself to me.

..... okay I have to ask, what's a space shuttle?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a bit narrow minded to assume every black , white or Asian person is the same as everyone else in their race. people are people, so we should judge each individual on the fact that they are an individual not assume we're not going to be attracted to or lust after someone just because they happen to fall into a racial category.

Of course we are attracted to certain types, personalities, physical shape , whatever, but I think we should still be a bit more open minded.

I have met a fair few women who say ' I've never been attracted to black guys before' etc, but maybe they were putting every black guy into the same box.

Equally I've met black women who said ' I'd never date a white guy' cos they had this image of a beer bellied football loving lager lout, and other negative stereotypes, but went on to date white guys who were different to whatever stereotypes they had before. So I'd say open your minds!

And anyway we're all from Africa! Every single one of us lol

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By *tra vidaCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

"It's a bit narrow minded to assume every black , white or Asian person is the same as everyone else in their race. people are people, so we should judge each individual on the fact that they are an individual not assume we're not going to be attracted to or lust after someone just because they happen to fall into a racial category.

Of course we are attracted to certain types, personalities, physical shape , whatever, but I think we should still be a bit more open minded.

I have met a fair few women who say ' I've never been attracted to black guys before' etc, but maybe they were putting every black guy into the same box.

Spot on brother

And anyway we're all from Africa! Every single one of us lol

..and guess that means we're all related, err might be another topic that

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

" I get it though, fat woman who is a reject in the real world and black guy who has nothing to offer but his cock because he's probably broke and also kind of a reject in a different sense... The perfect combo! "

Ok so ALL us 'FAT' women are rejected??? Oh get bent, unless you were trying to be sarcastic.

I am far from desperate nor rejected. I don't give a flying fig what colour a guy or woman is, I am more bothered about attitude and IF I am attracted to them personally. Personally if I like someone then I like someone, I don't care what colour they are.

Your posts seem to be quite the opposite on different threads unless I am mistaking sarcasim for humour, then I can only apologise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well at least you're thinking, which is a start and certainly more than I can say for most black guys on here! "

Two Tone, I would question your thought process on this thread and the one dimensional assumption based 'thinking' you've brought to the debate. In my experience the need to offend in order to make a point is based in insecurity.

It's easier to make provocative and inflammatory remarks than put together a cohesive argument that will stand up to debate.

Aside from your contradictions I will agree with one point you've made, it does all come down to the individual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are some amazing black guys on here as well as amazing white guys. There are always bad apples on either side that lets the team down. And I tend to go for the person rather than just the cock. If I can click and have a giggle with that person then who cares what colour or race they are."

agree entirely, but evidently some peeps just cannot get over skin colour hang ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very good point Shazza. As a blk male it does make you think when your with some women, would she be riding me if i was white. Its made me think, im more than just a Cock and a colour....

Well at least you're thinking, which is a start and certainly more than I can say for most black guys on here! "

and certain white women?

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Ok so ALL us 'FAT' women are rejected??? Oh get bent, unless you were trying to be sarcastic.

Your posts seem to be quite the opposite on different threads unless I am mistaking sarcasim for humour, then I can only apologise. "
it totally was humorous and I can say so because I am verrrry attracted to big women. What I don't like is big women that give themselves away very cheaply and allow some guys to treat them like white cock hungry whores that are desperate.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"What I don't like is big women that give themselves away very cheaply and allow some guys to treat them like white cock hungry whores that are desperate. "

Perhaps some of us LIKE to be treated like cock hungry whores.

To be honest, unless the situation is known, and unless you are the man/men or woman/women involved, you have no idea what the situation is. Why be judging who likes what with who?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't like is big women that give themselves away very cheaply and allow some guys to treat them like white cock hungry whores that are desperate.

Perhaps some of us LIKE to be treated like cock hungry whores.

To be honest, unless the situation is known, and unless you are the man/men or woman/women involved, you have no idea what the situation is. Why be judging who likes what with who?"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

well this thread took an interesting turn... but kinda makes a point about generalisations, which some people took offence to and something that i have been trying to work out a way of describing in a sense what i have been trying to get across...

rather than being seen as an individual, being seen in effect as someones fetish... and that is what sits really really incomfortably with me, and that is what the like of BMFC are actually promoting.... deliberately or inadvertantly...

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"What I don't like is big women that give themselves away very cheaply and allow some guys to treat them like white cock hungry whores that are desperate.

Perhaps some of us LIKE to be treated like cock hungry whores.

To be honest, unless the situation is known, and unless you are the man/men or woman/women involved, you have no idea what the situation is. Why be judging who likes what with who?"
I stand corrected! You are so right.

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

Thoughts from all races about; Is BBFC racist against whites, and does it offend anyone if someone says they don't want to meet a non white person?

In the example you give I believe you're referring to the racial preference coming from a Caucasian perspective, so white women/couples seeking liaisons exclusively with black males are unlikely to endorse their preference with the "not being racist" disclaimer, since they're 'discriminating' against people of their own colour.

It may indeed be a peculiar form of reverse racism but I don't believe it makes the case you're trying to state.

The proper analogy would be black singles/couples seeking adventures exclusively with black people and obviously they're going to be in a small minority here, but they may well also feel the need to make the 'not being racist' claim.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

..... okay I have to ask, what's a space shuttle? "

It's like Gates of Hell with a vibrating bullet that sits at the base of the cock and vibrates against the scrotum...it also tightens along the shaft...sigh...it really is a thing of beauty -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well this thread took an interesting turn... but kinda makes a point about generalisations, which some people took offence to and something that i have been trying to work out a way of describing in a sense what i have been trying to get across...

I hear you.

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By *pecial bbCouple
over a year ago

london

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour. "

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some good points but let's not forget that for most people on here its all about nsa sex and fantasy. Most are not looking for a relationship and many don't require any type of ongoing friendship. It's not about some kind of emotional tie.

In this environment physical attribute can at times be the most important part of making a fantasy work.

'Using' someone else to achieve a fantasy or sexual satisfaction is inherent in nsa.

Singles should never forget that although some couples may like you as a person, most (thank god) are happily married, you are temporarily invited in to be used to enhance what they already have.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

After spending the afternoon with three lovely guys who happened to ne black, and discussing this very thing, I can say that a lot of black men really don't give a crap about this. In the end,we're all meeting for the same thing.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

[Removed by poster at 28/04/12 22:10:36]

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

Now why would they do that when I don't have an agenda? I'm wondering who is more of a problem here - the woman who likes to meet black men, or the black man who seems to think other black guys can't make their own minds up/"
First up I AM BLACK, so I think I know my peeps more than you would ever! Secondly I have spoken to many a black man that have a problem as being seen as a dildo more or less. So tell me, from who's perspective lies more credibility on this issue, you or me???

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

Now why would they do that when I don't have an agenda? I'm wondering who is more of a problem here - the woman who likes to meet black men, or the black man who seems to think other black guys can't make their own minds up/First up I AM BLACK, so I think I know my peeps more than you would ever! Secondly I have spoken to many a black man that have a problem as being seen as a dildo more or less. So tell me, from who's perspective lies more credibility on this issue, you or me???"

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

Now why would they do that when I don't have an agenda? I'm wondering who is more of a problem here - the woman who likes to meet black men, or the black man who seems to think other black guys can't make their own minds up/First up I AM BLACK, so I think I know my peeps more than you would ever! Secondly I have spoken to many a black man that have a problem as being seen as a dildo more or less. So tell me, from who's perspective lies more credibility on this issue, you or me???

I know you're black. That's why I described you as a black man. However its clear to me that you are only willing to give credibility to opinions that agree with your own, so really not worth my engaging with you. I play with who I want, when I want, as long as they want to play with me, and if other black guys don't mind being fetishised then thats great. If you wish to police their wants and likes, as well as mine, then I'll leave you to it."
How can it be my singular opinion when I JUST told you that I know many black guys who don't like the stigma at all. Then again it depends on what sort if black guys you know. The ones I know are respectable, very white collar and have pride in who they are and won't be seen as a sex toy. You can keep telling yourself that in your world black guys are just a cock with no thought, emotions or whatever goes on in your world, I will tell you once again that as a member of the said race I have the final say on this issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You do not have the final say on any issue.

You may be a black man but you do not any extra insight into how others feel, that statement is ridiculous.

You are insinuating that the other black men you befriend are somehow a better class than those who enjoy attending specialised parties. Again that is ridiculous.

You are the only person on this thread who has made personal abusive comments about peoples preferences, intelligence etc. You seem unable to debate effectively without being rude.

We all have preferences and fantasies. People are not wrong with the choices they make. your way will be abhorrent to some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

...it all about fear of discrimination...

Avoiding exposure.

Question, how many in here are known as being swingers in the outer world? It is a preference as well, is it not?

People state a preference and justify it, avoids exposure to other "uncomfortable" grounds because some people are indeed sensitive to it.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"You do not have the final say on any issue.

You may be a black man but you do not any extra insight into how others feel, that statement is ridiculous.

You are insinuating that the other black men you befriend are somehow a better class than those who enjoy attending specialised parties. Again that is ridiculous.

You are the only person on this thread who has made personal abusive comments about peoples preferences, intelligence etc. You seem unable to debate effectively without being rude.

We all have preferences and fantasies. People are not wrong with the choices they make. your way will be abhorrent to some.

"
I have an extra insight over ANY white person on this issue. And yes the black men I befriend are by default a better class as they would not stand to be used as a sex object, rather they would prefer to have fun on the basis of their persona.

And I have made passionate comments based on my opinion like you have and others here, if you can't handle it it then don't participate... And as for blocking me, I can only laugh because that is so immature. Anyway savour the power sites like this give you because you will eventually go out and visit the real world.

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By *Sensual40Man
over a year ago

South Woodford

And...breathe people....

Is this not about a coincidence of wants?

Why the heckles? Let's all just get along

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"And...breathe people....

Let's all just get along

and yet another thread descends into a racist argument despite the lack of racists.... sunny morning today guys, let's all have a cuppa and get back to having fun

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

It never fails to amaze me the nonsense I read on the forums at times. By some people's definition as a woman I can make a sweeping generalisation on behalf of all women on periods say as all women have them and men can't comment as it's an experience they'll never have.

Absolutely ridiculous!

As a "very educated" black woman I'm here to fulfill my fantasy. My fantasy man at the moment is white, tall, educated and submissive...no compromise on that.

My playmates are toys, and refer to themselves as such. They are there for me to play with as I wish and enjoy until the next time.

Among my playmates are two security consultants with their own companies, two directors and a senior manager with a telecommunication company. They like being used by me and recognise this is fantasy.

I've been approached by men who want a big, black women experience. Do I feel offended? Of course not.

If people feel offended that people want to meet them because of certain attributes that is their right but to insult others for enjoying their own fantasy shows a lack of respect in my view.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Well at least you're thinking, which is a start and certainly more than I can say for most black guys on here!

It's easier to make provocative and inflammatory remarks than put together a cohesive argument that will stand up to debate.

Aside from your contradictions I will agree with one point you've made, it does all come down to the individual. "

(closed, thread got too big)

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Some good points but let's not forget that for most people on here its all about nsa sex and fantasy. Most are not looking for a relationship and many don't require any type of ongoing friendship. It's not about some kind of emotional tie.

In this environment physical attribute can at times be the most important part of making a fantasy work.

'Using' someone else to achieve a fantasy or sexual satisfaction is inherent in nsa.

Singles should never forget that although some couples may like you as a person, most (thank god) are happily married, you are temporarily invited in to be used to enhance what they already have. "

Should have read to the end and saved myself some typing. Eloquently put as always and spot on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You do not have the final say on any issue.

You may be a black man but you do not any extra insight into how others feel, that statement is ridiculous.

You are insinuating that the other black men you befriend are somehow a better class than those who enjoy attending specialised parties. Again that is ridiculous.

You are the only person on this thread who has made personal abusive comments about peoples preferences, intelligence etc. You seem unable to debate effectively without being rude.

We all have preferences and fantasies. People are not wrong with the choices they make. your way will be abhorrent to some.

I have an extra insight over ANY white person on this issue. And yes the black men I befriend are by default a better class as they would not stand to be used as a sex object, rather they would prefer to have fun on the basis of their persona.

You do not have any further insight to every black mans mind than any white person, that is, as I stated before, ridiculous. It would be similar to saying that I have extra insight into the persona of any white person than you do, solely based on the fact I'm the same race. Notice I didn't use capitals on any of my words.

The men I've spoken to at BMFC parties are professional, well dressed, good looking, articulate men. I would imagine the membership fee is not cheap, a certain image is required and the dress code is strict. Noone forces these guys to seek membership to attend. They do so because they wish to be involved. It is their preference.

And do you really believe that every couple that chooses to meet you do so because of your sparkling personality. How do you know they didn't meet you based on your colour. Nsa sex is about fantasy and indulging that, whatever your reasons.

I am somewhat surprised why you felt the need to publish the fact I have blocked you. It is not immature to block someone whom you wish to have no contact with. Why were you attempting to look at my profile if you know that we have different attitudes in relation to swinging. Or were, as I guess, you trying to look for personal information on my profile to use against me in this debate. If someone has to stoop to that level then they are not debating effectively.

Please keep to the purpose of the thread and do not question why I have blocked you as that could be perceived as you attempting to contact me via the forums and that is against the rules.

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

"Some people do think the BMFC thing is slightly offensive tho. Wanting someone based solely on there colour.

Lots of black guys are insulted by the 'only want you because you're black tag too'

Have you considered the possibility that your acolytes are also "telling you what you want to hear", 'sweetheart'?

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx"

I think you'll find that it's not a question if standing together, just good points well made, comprehensively argued with strong supporting evidence.

At no point has any of the women who joined this thread used gender as part of their argument although at times they could have.

You suggest that as a black male your point if view is more valid than everyone elses, but if this is a discussion about people's experience if race in swinging then everyone who has had said experiences has a valid point to make which is informed by the speakers race not excluded by it.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx

I think you'll find that it's not a question if standing together, just good points well made, comprehensively argued with strong supporting evidence.

At no point has any of the women who joined this thread used gender as part of their argument although at times they could have.

This is an open forum. If you join the debate you cannot expect everyone to agree with you.if you have an issue with that then count to ten, step away from the computer and remember this is a cyber community not your nearest and dearest. Feel free to loathe us all from a distance.me"
I don't loathe nobody on this site, everyone's doing their thing. At the end of the day it's all love still! I actually love it when people step up and make their points known, I have mad respect for that 'cause I'll do the same. Anyway it's a Sunday, i'm all shagged out so I'm taking a Fab break and chillin' at the cribbo so later xx

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx

I think you'll find that it's not a question if standing together, just good points well made, comprehensively argued with strong supporting evidence.

At no point has any of the women who joined this thread used gender as part of their argument although at times they could have.

This is an open forum. If you join the debate you cannot expect everyone to agree with you.if you have an issue with that then count to ten, step away from the computer and remember this is a cyber community not your nearest and dearest. Feel free to loathe us all from a distance.meI don't loathe nobody on this site, everyone's doing their thing. At the end of the day it's all love still! I actually love it when people step up and make their points known, I have mad respect for that 'cause I'll do the same. Anyway it's a Sunday, i'm all shagged out so I'm taking a Fab break and chillin' at the cribbo so later xx"

I didn't suggest that you did loathe anyone, but the beauty of a cyber community is that you are free to do so!

Enjoy your Sunday.

But please consider that taking the standpoint that only one group of society has the right to comment on certain issues is a form of bigotry and exclusionism.

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By *estless in batterseaMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx

I think you'll find that it's not a question if standing together, just good points well made, comprehensively argued with strong supporting evidence.

At no point has any of the women who joined this thread used gender as part of their argument although at times they could have.

This is an open forum. If you join the debate you cannot expect everyone to agree with you.if you have an issue with that then count to ten, step away from the computer and remember this is a cyber community not your nearest and dearest. Feel free to loathe us all from a distance.meI don't loathe nobody on this site, everyone's doing their thing. At the end of the day it's all love still! I actually love it when people step up and make their points known, I have mad respect for that 'cause I'll do the same. Anyway it's a Sunday, i'm all shagged out so I'm taking a Fab break and chillin' at the cribbo so later xx

I didn't suggest that you did loathe anyone, but the beauty of a cyber community is that you are free to do so!

Enjoy your Sunday.

But please consider that taking the standpoint that only one group of society has the right to comment on certain issues is a form of bigotry and exclusionism."
I hear you and feel you... Enjoy your Sunday to sweet'eart!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx"

It must be apparent to most who have read the thread that although you respond to the women on here you have chosen not to respond to the points raised by other black males.

Based on this thread you in no way talk for, represent or have more insight into my thought process than some other participants.

Although I don't like the term 'class' in this context, I would challenge any idea that I am in any social, economic or intellectual way inferior to you.

You have chosen to be offensive and use the 'race card' in an attempt to validate your argument. In my opinion you have simply weakened your already porous view.

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 29/04/12 10:51:34]

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 29/04/12 10:51:26]

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By *itianmandyWoman
over a year ago

london

"Wow! You women are serious business, y'all do group together...DAMN! Anyway my point still stands and I'm bowing out. BYE xx

It must be apparent to most who have read the thread that although you respond to the women on here you have chosen not to respond to the points raised by other black males.

Based on this thread you in no way talk for, represent or have more insight into my thought process than some other participants.

Although I don't like the term 'class' in this context, I would challenge any idea that I am in any social, economic or intellectual way inferior to you.

You have chosen to be offensive and use the 'race card' in an attempt to validate your argument. In my opinion you have simply weakened your already porous view. "

Halleluyah!

This is the kind of coherent, relevant response that two tone (m) is unable to articulate.

If anyone requires evidence to challenge the stereotypical view that black men are 'rude, abusive or gangsters' then members like this one, _abio and a few others represent man-kind in a positive light, irrespective of his colour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find black guys of this sort absolutely disgusting and often of Caribbean decent. They have no respect for women whatsoever. Almost always these sort of guys are broke asses who have nothing else to offer but their cock hence the very stupid comment about tables being turned. That's why they can never accommodate as they live in shoe boxes, lol! Oh and have you noticed how they seem to target the fat women? Yep! You probably have noticed... Losers (with big cocks) "

Hmmm well I disagree with this comment, as a Caribbean (not disgusting) professional black male who lives in an owned house (not a shoe box) I don't think you should generalise and say that most caribbeans are broke asses and live n shoe boxes!! Like someone said before, this site is for people looking for sex, fantasies,etc I would not complain if I met two intelligent white women who wanted a black guy for a threesome? After all we are all consenting adults? And I have not started to think, I always think.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Ok whilst I prefer white couples females it is not to say I haven't had fun with other races and I lost my virginity at 21 to a mixed race lass,

I done advertise what I prefer regarding race but just make an informed descion

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

since my name was mentioned i thought i'd come back in since i have been watching this topic with interest...

In a way i do kinda get what Two-tone was saying... i wouldn't have said it in those terms and quite that agressively...

for me.... all i can go from is my personal experience... I have tried the black/white, coffee/cream, thing twice to make sure, felt uncomfortable with the way proceedings went, with the way i perceived people were treated as if they were pieces of meat.. and i wouldn't put myself in that position again....

i think the generalisation that happened in the thread was an interesting one, in that generalisations about larger women were set upon quickly.... yet generalisations about black men were allowed to slide and in the terms of something like BMFC, encouraged

let me say that stereotypes do nothing for me full stop... be they about types of people, who they are, where they are from, what they do ect ect ect....

as i said earlier... it is the premise that I am not being treated as an individual and being looking at as some sort of fetish is what makes me very uneasy....

in that case why bother trying to be the best person i can be when all that people are looking at is the colour of my skin.... and that is depressing!!!

I hope that you can see what i am saying... yes it may be your fantasy... but behind that fantasy is a person

my upbringing is very different to a lot of people here.... child of the south, watching and learning from what my parents and grandparents went thru... being told that i had to be better that the person of different skin to get the same breaks... that is what drove me to get to where i wanted to be and to be the person i am...

do i want breaks for being black... hell no... i don't have the chip on my shoulder, it don't see the point or the purpose..... its an easy excuse...

do the likes of bmfc serve a purpose... sure, but if it is one thing that I would like for people to take away from this discussion is that the whole black/white party thing probably turns off as many black people and send them in the other direction as it does attracts.... people are probably alienating as many people as those that are attracted.. and that is the irony in it all!

if people want to fall in line with a stereotype to get their leg over.... cool... go for it... I would like to think that in 2012 we would have gotten over streeotypes and would have looked at what individuals have to offer which is something that these types of parties lack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a great post _abio.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"yes it may be your fantasy... but behind that fantasy is a person"

I understand your concerns, and the concerns of the other men on here, but this comment could be applied to anyone on here. Not to derail too far, but I could get uncomfortable about men who make it clear they're only meeting me as I am older than them.

I don't meet black men because I think they are soulless automatons with a massive cock. I meet them because I find them attractive, excellent fun, and they are much less likely than white men to start getting clingy. The ones who are put off by that are unlikely to want to meet me so no hurt feelings there, but the ones who don't mind at all don't strike me as being psychologically wounded by being found attractive by me. Maybe they hide it well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"since my name was mentioned i thought i'd come back in since i have been watching this topic with interest...

In a way i do kinda get what Two-tone was saying... i wouldn't have said it in those terms and quite that agressively...

let me say that stereotypes do nothing for me full stop... be they about types of people, who they are, where they are from, what they do ect ect ect....

as i said earlier... it is the premise that I am not being treated as an individual and being looking at as some sort of fetish is what makes me very uneasy....

in that case why bother trying to be the best person i can be when all that people are looking at is the colour of my skin.... and that is depressing!!!

I hope that you can see what i am saying... yes it may be your fantasy... but behind that fantasy is a person

do i want breaks for being black... hell no... i don't have the chip on my shoulder, it don't see the point or the purpose..... its an easy excuse...

Fabio, I respect the fact that you have always maintained a consistent view on this subject, I agree with some of your concerns but disagree with others.

Firstly to clarify my experience. I was born and grew up in this country, parentage first generation immigrants. I also witnessed and was educated by my parents and grandparents as to the challenges they faced, I had it ingrained in me from an early age that I would need to do better than my white equivalent in order to get a fair deal out of life. I am fortunate not to see my colour as a barrier in any aspect of the life I choose to live and do not want any special concessions in life because I am black. I have never attended a coffee/cream type arranged party and cannot say it's something high on my fantasy wishlist.

Although I have no intention of attending a BMFC meeting I do not share your general opinion on them.

To help clarify my point lets replace the race element with gender. I am a straight male interested in meeting women. If the parties were WFC (womens fan club) it is possible I would be a member because I'm a big fan of women!

But....if I was a member of the mythical WFC it would not mean that I wanted to have sex with ALL women, there would still be further criteria for a women to be attractive to me. The fact that she's a women isn't the end game, it just means she's not a man. Within the group of women she would still need to stand out as an individual I was attracted to.

The stereotype argument is often twisted into the mix, there are lots of stereotypes about women, but anyone who suggests I want to meet with women because of the stereotypes is missing the point.

Could it be argued that I see women as a fetish?

I have no problem and in no way feel threatened with the idea of BMFC, I see it simply as certain people exercising their preferences in an open honest mutually beneficial way. I would imagine at these meetings black men would need to compete with other black men and stand out as individuals. That said as with swingers clubs, it's not for me.

One further thing, I have lots of fantasies, all of which involve women, I have no doubt that behind each of these fantasies is a real person, I would hope that real person benefits at least as much as me from a shared experience.

(closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to agree with Wrydwoman in that all of us are used as a fantasy and some of us do play up to stereotypes.

I attend Bmfc parties, not because all I care about is a black cock and nothing else. If that was the case I would play with any black guy that asked. I vet, chat and choose to meet black guys that interest me in the same way as I would a white guy. I don't find every black man attractive.

I attend the parties because they are organised well and the host is the most friendliest, wackiest, lovely lady you could meet. The venue is a great place, a very large luxury home with swimming pool, jacuzzis etc, lovely food, great dj, fun people with a brill party atmosphere. Yes all the single guys vetted and allowed to attend are black, good looking and professional articulate men, but the main reason is the overall ambience, the fun factor, the dressing up, the chatting. Similar to any swinging club.

Now I understand that some black guys will view it as offensive, and therefore they won't attend.

I am not naïve enough not to believe that I'm not playing to a stereotype. I don't believe that men see past my huge tits to the person inside. I'm happy to flaunt my sexuality because in the swinging world it is complete fantasy and I conduct myself completely differently to my day to day professional working life.

Whilst not swinging I don't flaunt my sexuality, I don't dress provocatively, I would be offended if guys openly stared at my breasts or made sexual comments and if they did it in work Id deal with it. Whilst swinging ill flirt, flaunt and show a different side to my personality, the side that gets off on exhibitionalism.

I'm not looking for anything meaningful, I am a mere plaything and guys we meet are playthings to us. That doesn't mean I treat anyone disrespectfully as I certainly don't, but they don't get to meet the real me, they get to meet Feebs, my alter ego. I'm not essentially looking to be taken too seriously during the times we partake in our hobby