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"Honesty and opinion aren't the same thing. If you have an opinion that you think might upset someone the best way to express it is tactfully or not at all. " Of course they're not the same thing, but on an adult forum if you are discussing topics like adults isn't an "honest opinion" valuable, tactfully could mean tell them what they "want" to hear, I think that is just as bad as not saying anything at all. | |||
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"Honesty and opinion aren't the same thing. If you have an opinion that you think might upset someone the best way to express it is tactfully or not at all. Of course they're not the same thing, but on an adult forum if you are discussing topics like adults isn't an "honest opinion" valuable, tactfully could mean tell them what they "want" to hear, I think that is just as bad as not saying anything at all." Yes an honest opinion can be valuable if it's useful. Tact to me means assessing if the other person might gain anything useful from what's about to be said, then expressing it in a manner least likely to offend. For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub. | |||
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"They're a difference between being honest and being rude" Yep and rudeness is often excused (by the person being rude) as "just being honest" or "the truth never hurt anybody" | |||
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"Honesty and opinion aren't the same thing. If you have an opinion that you think might upset someone the best way to express it is tactfully or not at all. Of course they're not the same thing, but on an adult forum if you are discussing topics like adults isn't an "honest opinion" valuable, tactfully could mean tell them what they "want" to hear, I think that is just as bad as not saying anything at all. Yes an honest opinion can be valuable if it's useful. Tact to me means assessing if the other person might gain anything useful from what's about to be said, then expressing it in a manner least likely to offend. For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub. " So you'd rather pussy foot around the main issue, IF someone asks if you like like their haircut be brave and say "no, it does nothing for you it was better before" they then have 2 options, value your honest opinion and keep returning for more honesty they trust and value OR discard your opinion and keep asking others until they get the fluffy answer they want. If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? | |||
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"Honesty and opinion aren't the same thing. If you have an opinion that you think might upset someone the best way to express it is tactfully or not at all. Of course they're not the same thing, but on an adult forum if you are discussing topics like adults isn't an "honest opinion" valuable, tactfully could mean tell them what they "want" to hear, I think that is just as bad as not saying anything at all. Yes an honest opinion can be valuable if it's useful. Tact to me means assessing if the other person might gain anything useful from what's about to be said, then expressing it in a manner least likely to offend. For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub. So you'd rather pussy foot around the main issue, IF someone asks if you like like their haircut be brave and say "no, it does nothing for you it was better before" they then have 2 options, value your honest opinion and keep returning for more honesty they trust and value OR discard your opinion and keep asking others until they get the fluffy answer they want. If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt?" Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. " ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact." No, your opinion is your opinion. Truth is not just opinion. I'd rather someone consider my feelings when giving an opinion. There are ways to say you don't like something without being a jerk, and there are also times to hold your tongue. Nuance in social interactions. Who knew? | |||
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"I was always taught that lying is bad! It seems that when you tell an open honest truth on a forum you often get lambasted by a certain few (the worst being the men who say anything to try a get their dick wet) Life isn't all sunshine and Instagram rainbows, but these days it seems the done thing is to tell people what they 'want' to hear. This is so cruel in the long run. I've never personally attacked anyone, and never will, I just hope the people at FAB allow a wide mix of comments and responses and don't meander to those who complain and report people all the time a truthful response is left. Love and be kind, but please BE HONEST!! and respect honesty. " i find the most efficient way to get my dick wet these days is to dip it in my pint    | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. No, your opinion is your opinion. Truth is not just opinion. I'd rather someone consider my feelings when giving an opinion. There are ways to say you don't like something without being a jerk, and there are also times to hold your tongue. Nuance in social interactions. Who knew?" Ironically, anyone who starts a sentence with "no" is very confrontational - I referred to "honest" opinion, opinions in general are like arseholes, we've all got one and some of them stink...but an "honest" opinion should be exactly that, otherwise - don't ask for one. | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact." I did tell the truth. I said to this imaginary guy that I preferred his hair in a different style. His choice to walk round looking daft. | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. No, your opinion is your opinion. Truth is not just opinion. I'd rather someone consider my feelings when giving an opinion. There are ways to say you don't like something without being a jerk, and there are also times to hold your tongue. Nuance in social interactions. Who knew? Ironically, anyone who starts a sentence with "no" is very confrontational - I referred to "honest" opinion, opinions in general are like arseholes, we've all got one and some of them stink...but an "honest" opinion should be exactly that, otherwise - don't ask for one." I wouldn't know confrontational if it bit me. I just think your truth is nonsense | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact." Also what gives me the right to inflict my truth on someone else? | |||
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" I did tell the truth. I said to this imaginary guy that I preferred his hair in a different style. His choice to walk round looking daft. " Well to be slightly pedantic: "For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub." You might have sent him to pub to laughed at..?? | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. Also what gives me the right to inflict my truth on someone else?" 
I think a big change in norms with the internet is the idea that everyone wants to hear what you think.
Most people give as little of a toss as they've always done | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. Also what gives me the right to inflict my truth on someone else?" Inflict?? If someone ASKS for something you are giving..you're not inflicting anything? | |||
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" I did tell the truth. I said to this imaginary guy that I preferred his hair in a different style. His choice to walk round looking daft. Well to be slightly pedantic: "For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub." You might have sent him to pub to laughed at..??" His choice to have the hair cut, not much he can do once it's done, he's not going to stop going to the pub, telling him he'll probably just feel bad. And I could be wrong. And people at the pub who laugh at him are rude. Tact wins | |||
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" If you hug someone after punching them the punch will still hurt? Because basically I'm aware that my opinion does not alway equal the truth and as such not everybody needs to hear it every time. You might call it pussy footing I call it tact. ??? YOUR opinion should always equal YOUR truth, and if they asked for your opinion surely they deserve your truth not your tact? This is why a lot of people walk around with daft haircuts,they've had a lifetime if tact. Also what gives me the right to inflict my truth on someone else? Inflict?? If someone ASKS for something you are giving..you're not inflicting anything?" , ok. | |||
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" I did tell the truth. I said to this imaginary guy that I preferred his hair in a different style. His choice to walk round looking daft. Well to be slightly pedantic: "For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub." You might have sent him to pub to laughed at..??" Nope. It was his choice to go to the pub after I told him I preferred it a different way. I'm not arrogant enough to think that my opinion is the only right one or that I'm responsible or even able to protect random guys from the consequence of choices they make about their hair that I think inadvisable. | |||
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" I did tell the truth. I said to this imaginary guy that I preferred his hair in a different style. His choice to walk round looking daft. Well to be slightly pedantic: "For example a guy asks if I like his new hair cut. My honest opinion is that he looks awful (but it is only my opinion) so I tell him I preferred it longer /shorter/without the sparkly extensions rather than say I think it looks awful and he's going to be a laughing stock down the pub." You might have sent him to pub to laughed at..?? His choice to have the hair cut, not much he can do once it's done, he's not going to stop going to the pub, telling him he'll probably just feel bad. And I could be wrong. And people at the pub who laugh at him are rude. Tact wins" Next time he asks me I'm going to advise him to carry a bandana. That way if they start laughing he can whip it out and cover it up. | |||
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"Gosh we love being offended for others don’t we! If someone asks for an opinion or even makes a statement on a forum like this they should be prepared to be maybe be a little bit offended by some of the responses. They don’t need anyone else to take offence on their behalf or tell others how they should respond, the forum rules and admins take care of that " I don't think anyone is offended on anybody else's behalf. We are having quite a lively discussion about some poor chaps hypothetical hair cut which I for one am enjoying. I like a challenging discussion back and forth | |||
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"Gosh we love being offended for others don’t we! If someone asks for an opinion or even makes a statement on a forum like this they should be prepared to be maybe be a little bit offended by some of the responses. They don’t need anyone else to take offence on their behalf or tell others how they should respond, the forum rules and admins take care of that " I'm not offended. I just don't see why my opinion should be stated bluntly when it risks needlessly upsetting someone. | |||
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