FabSwingers.com forum: What does a social mean to you?

By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

So, the other day I posted asking if there were many other couples who genuinely do enjoy the social side to swinging, without the expectation of play and was really happy to see that there's actually a huge amount of people who feel the same that we do (and a huge thanks for the awesome conversations that came off the back of that).

As I mentioned then, C and I really aren't experienced swingers in terms of the number of meets we've have (though we've covered quite a few different things in those meets), and I'm just wondering what a social means to people?

Is it a few beers at a bar? Maybe some pool as a bit of a conversation starter?

Perhaps a couple has come around to your home, so what do you do to entertain them in that case? Good conversation is of course important, but what about games, hot tub and other things like that?

I'm super fortunate to have a hot tub in the garden, which seems to be a really good way to relax into the meet with a few drinks? For whatever reason it seems less awkward than sitting in the living room together, but what's your experience of socials?

The reason behind my asking really is that inexperience, and I suspect the answer is along the lines of "whatever feels right" and "whatever you'd do with vanilla friends", but I'm shamelessly hoping to draw on the experience of those who've had more chance to enjoy the social aspect.

Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

she pays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, a social simply means meeting with no expectation of play.

I still only have socials at clubs, though many like to have them at bars or coffee shops.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

For me it's a coffee or drink in a vanilla safe venue to suss someone out.

If I meet socially after that I call it something else.

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"she pays

Crikey, you must be good in bed

If anything, I think I'd get paid to leave!

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"For me, a social simply means meeting with no expectation of play.

I still only have socials at clubs, though many like to have them at bars or coffee shops."

Yeah, we often bump into people at clubs but are yet to arrange a proper meet there. To be honest, I don't know if we'd be able to arrange to meet at a club because we're usually wandering about or chatting to people outside so it'd perhaps be a bit unfair to the people we'd arranged to meet.

I'm not entirely sure why this is the case, but provided we've had a decent chat beforehand, I've never had a reservation about people coming round to my house, but perhaps that's not a particularly sensible approach!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"she pays

Crikey, you must be good in bed

If anything, I think I'd get paid to leave! "
lol hey she may be from maastricht

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We have socials at local pubs on Thursday nights with potential play mates. We've also set up a group social with 6 couples from our hot list that went very well. I think a social at a private residence adds a layer of pressure/possibility of things leading to play.

We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

A social for me is meeting for a coffee with no expectation of play.

Just to see if they and I are happy to continue talking and arrange a time to play.

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"We have socials at local pubs on Thursday nights with potential play mates. We've also set up a group social with 6 couples from our hot list that went very well. I think a social at a private residence adds a layer of pressure/possibility of things leading to play.

We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events."

That's a fair comment actually - I absolutely don't arrange socials with an underlying aim to get anyone into bed, but inviting people over to my home may be giving that impression. Plus I'd imagine arranging a meet at a bar s out anyone who's just saying they want a social, but then pressure for more.

You did bloody well to organise that many couples in one go hah! Lining up the diary for just us and one other couple is often a nightmare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a social meet with another couple, we much prefer a nice pub for the evening. It's neutral ground, no implicit pressure to play afterwards, plus it's a night out, so even if the connection is not there, it can still be a fun evening out.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

It means just that, a social in a pub or cafe, no expectations, just a pleasant time. I love them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To meet, a drink or drinks and see if there is a connection and to maybe look in to the next step

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By *uHorny1Man
over a year ago

Cannock

A social is when you meet someone for a coffee or a drink, or maybe a walk. Just to see if you actually get on with each other.

No expectations, so no one leaves disappointed.

Only ever had one social which turned into a "meet". Arranged to meet at a hotel bar for a coffee. She messaged me when I arrived asking me to come up to her room...

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Awkward having a social in a house because you often will end up playing. For us a social is mostly that distinction , bar, coffee shop or restaurant, drinks or dinner, tend not to get wasted as we don’t do d*unk sex and a social may lead to a play later that day/night. So just getting to know people, seeing if there’s chemistry and if there is and they are comfortable ,then flirting, seducing, even a bit of discreet touching and usually a snog at the end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really depends on what part of "social" your enquiring about?

It's a general term that covers everything "clothes on" really

Organised event or group socials generally means meeting somewhere for drinks or for a night out.

Introduction socials tend to be coffee or drinks any place day or night

Think that its fair to say that it's always implying that play or expectation to is off the cards and this is why most likely to be on neutral ground and in a public place

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Coffee or a drink and a chat.

We wouldn't go to someone's house and would be surprised if someone would be willing to tell us where they lived before they'd met us.

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

We also have a couple or two on here that are in the friend zone. We invite them to vanilla events.

You did bloody well to organise that many couples in one go hah! Lining up the diary for just us and one other couple is often a nightmare

Worked months to make it happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex obv. She won't be able to resist

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"Awkward having a social in a house because you often will end up playing. For us a social is mostly that distinction , bar, coffee shop or restaurant, drinks or dinner, tend not to get wasted as we don’t do d*unk sex and a social may lead to a play later that day/night. So just getting to know people, seeing if there’s chemistry and if there is and they are comfortable ,then flirting, seducing, even a bit of discreet touching and usually a snog at the end"

Makes sense! It'd probably help if I wasn't useless at the flirting / being forward part. I'd have to just leave it to C to make our intentions known

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I would never have a 1-1 social at my home or anyone else's either. Too easy for misread signals.

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By *inups99Couple
over a year ago

manchester

Bit like an interview really!!! Dress nicely to impress and be 'social'. Have a drink and a chat; talk over any funny swinging experiences, assuming you're out of earshot. Talk more generally about interests (no politics!!) and generally sus each other out!.

If it's us meeting a guy I'm thinking "would I like to see this guy fuck my wife?" and wondering what she tihinks. All open and honest. If it's a couple the dynamics are more complex - "do I/she/we/he fancy each other - honestly!"

However, no expectation to play - that comes next if you're lucky!

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"Bit like an interview really!!! Dress nicely to impress and be 'social'. Have a drink and a chat; talk over any funny swinging experiences, assuming you're out of earshot. Talk more generally about interests (no politics!!) and generally sus each other out!.

However, no expectation to play - that comes next if you're lucky!"

Hah, honestly I think I must've missed picking up that sort of sexual instinct when I was growing up because I'm useless with anything like that.

When we've bumped into people and got chatting at a club, I'm just enjoying having a laugh and a giggle. It's really rare I'm thinking about sex at the time. Reckon I'm broken

That said, on the odd occasion it does go that way, it's always then a really awesome surprise hah.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Social means trying to establish during a few hours if I want to be intimate with the guy or not.

If I don't feel like I want him to kiss me then the social doesn't get any further.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a day out chatting to a beautiful woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's just my opinion OP, but I imagine a first social at your home in a hot tub is probably just not going to happen with most people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To meet, a drink or drinks and see if there is a connection and to maybe look in to the next step "

this exactly

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By *esse1972Man
over a year ago

Rugeley

"To meet, a drink or drinks and see if there is a connection and to maybe look in to the next step

this exactly"

Yep this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.

Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.

We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.

V x

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I'll have a social with someone who ticks my boxes to see if they are my kind of man in real life. Always with a view to setting another 'date' if everything is ok.

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.

Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.

We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.

V x"

I'm sorry you get grief from people outside of clubs. Narrow minded idiots!

It's awesome that swinger's clubs are so accepting in general. Everyone's free to be who they want to be, and express themselves how they please. I'm sure the rest of the world will get there eventually, but in the meantime I'm glad the clubs work well.

We've found the same actually - just getting chatting to people usually winds up with a good few laughs, and we've kept in touch with people outside of that as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tea coffee beer and a chat

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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago

Bickliegh

A social is getting to know peeps drink chat banter and arrange something for the future if you click . Always best confirming what sort of meet you are looking for is always the best x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A social is getting a blowjob whilst dunking chocolate hobnobs in your brew.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

A social is a coffee or tea, maybe a beer or g and t etc. With no expectation of playing. It is a final check if there is chemistry after the playful flirting and chatting on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are limited with socials due to Abby being a TV. It’s not comfortable for another couple to meet with us in a public place unfortunately due to people staring and making comments.

Our socials are club based where she is welcome and no one bats an eyelid.

We’ve made some great friends that have led to private meets.

V x

I'm sorry you get grief from people outside of clubs. Narrow minded idiots!

We've found the same actually - just getting chatting to people usually winds up with a good few laughs, and we've kept in touch with people outside of that as well. "

Thank you

We normally stay at a hotel when we’re going to a club and even walking through the lobby can have its problems.

There’s so much info out there about trans but very little understanding unfortunately.

V x

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By *lanemikeMan
over a year ago

Bolton

"A social is a coffee or tea, maybe a beer or g and t etc. With no expectation of playing. It is a final check if there is chemistry after the playful flirting and chatting on here. "

That sums it up to me....!!

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Sitting in a jacuzzi chatting naked by the way

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

A night round town and then we either go back to ours or kiss goodbye. Either way we have all had a good evening xx

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By *lem-H-FandangoMan
over a year ago

salisbury

Cup of tea after sex.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I had a social recently and enjoyed it hugely

it was a drink in a pub. Strangely empty but good enough.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

[Removed by poster at 14/01/20 08:01:37]

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"Sitting in a jacuzzi chatting naked by the way"

I tried getting into the hot tub with shorts on once. It's just not the same.

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By *uriousKinkster OP Man
over a year ago

Loughborough

"I had a social recently and enjoyed it hugely

it was a drink in a pub. Strangely empty but good enough. "

The pub or the social?

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