FabSwingers.com forum: Getting bored of time wasters

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So this week we have had a man message us with his profile saying he is bisexual. We said politely no thanks it's our preference for straight only. He said he is straight but he put himself as bisexual because he just wants to do anything to get a meet. We again said no.

Next, a couple had great chat seemed to like all the same things then over night they leave the site.

Next is the best one. A couple messaged us we chatted for a few days and everything is going great. We had a discussion about age range and we are happy they they said they were more than happy even tho we are a bit younger than them. As They were happy with age range they told us about how they want to meet up and all their sexual preferences. We was very sure to discuss the age early on so we are not wasting time and they assured us they were all good. The a social only was arranged for tonight and they just cancel saying that she range is a problem for them. So why say it's OK in they first place?

This does make me wonder is the fact that fabs is a free site it's problem. If there was a fee would it stop people like this from wasting time of all the genuine people in here.

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By *ourayloversCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

(Lou) it could be that only one half of the couple was reading and responding to the messages and the other half has seen them and said no? Just an idea.

Ray and I both read the messages and discuss if they are what we are looking for for me before responding to ensure we dont lead anyone on x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We did ask that we was talking to both. They could have been fibbing of course.

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By *ourayloversCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

"We did ask that we was talking to both. They could have been fibbing of course.

(Lou) We tend to put our names on messages as we do on here so people know who has sent the message

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

I am what it says on profile as are meny on here but your allways going to get people trying it on till you arrange a meet then they block you or don't meet it spoils it for the genuine people on here as a cd do find it hard to get meets at times but when there is a meet socal or more allways turns into a good night it's not allways about the sex for me I injoy meeting new people have a laugh anything else is a bonus

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By *exi7000Couple
over a year ago

London

Not sure why everyone complains about time wasters. We have been swinging for 16-17 years, and I can safely say it has been less than 10 times we our time being wasted.

Of course would like to be Nil, but given the bigger picture there aren't many wasted nights.

I personally think that people get overexcited, and cannot see the red flags on time, and then they are being let down, or it has been a disastrous meeting. We have a simple rule: if it feels not right in the beginning of the conversation, even a tiny bit, we just don't carry on, and say thanks but no thanks, and move on.

Thrusting your instict is the key here.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

I’m getting bored of getting no responses on anything ... never even mind TWs ... but hey hoe ... perhaps I’m not cut out for this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We have met lots of great people from here. Recently tho it's just becoming more and more difficult to find genuine people.

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

"We have met lots of great people from here. Recently tho it's just becoming more and more difficult to find genuine people. "

We are getting less and less and still getting fucked over .. so now the majority of time I just come in here to amuse myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As previously mentioned look for those very red flags or put in place things to stop time wasters.

Ask for a picture of the couple holding a copy of today’s paper for example which is something a time waster can not do but if a couple are interested in hooking up takes less than a minute.

Best of luck.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

This is why I only ever meet at clubs now xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So this week we have had a man message us with his profile saying he is bisexual. We said politely no thanks it's our preference for straight only. He said he is straight but he put himself as bisexual because he just wants to do anything to get a meet. We again said no.

Next, a couple had great chat seemed to like all the same things then over night they leave the site.

This does make me wonder is the fact that fabs is a free site it's problem. If there was a fee would it stop people like this from wasting time of all the genuine people in here.

"
this is hardly time wasting this is chatting then not chatting, had you organised a meet and they changed mind that would be time wasting, you need patience on this internet domain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes people talk the talk but don’t walk the walk, in other words they got cold feet and just used the age thing as an excuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is why I only ever meet at clubs now xx "

Same as this. Even in the year we’ve been on here we’ve seen a sharp increase in what we call ‘the lurkers’. Happy to tell you everything you want to hear then at the 11th hour they steal your pics, delete the profile then start another. Is what it is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As sombody said on this thread people talk the talk and but walk the walk. This is time wasting. Just be honest and say no at the start. Making a meet is not easy as we need to get cover for kids etc so a lot of planning is wasted when people are not man enough to say what they feel at the start

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By *udewhennudeMan
over a year ago

newport

"As previously mentioned look for those very red flags or put in place things to stop time wasters.

Ask for a picture of the couple holding a copy of today’s paper for example which is something a time waster can not do but if a couple are interested in hooking up takes less than a minute.

Best of luck.

Presumably the op had been chatting to a verified couple, what you’re suggesting would not show whether they were in their opinion, time wasters. Even as a single I have and would again, stop the conversation right there if they asked me to start jumping through hoops.

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By *on a MangerMan
over a year ago

somerset/Bristol

"As sombody said on this thread people talk the talk and but walk the walk. This is time wasting. Just be honest and say no at the start. Making a meet is not easy as we need to get cover for kids etc so a lot of planning is wasted when people are not man enough to say what they feel at the start

. "

People are allowed to change their minds. For any reason what so ever. And whats more they dont have to tell you the reason...

But if they pulled out then perhaps that is way better than attending and not having a good time because of reservations...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paying for using this site would not stop time wasters doing what they do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The thing is it was only for a social so if they turned up they would hs e got a nice drink and even if it didn't go any further they would still get a nice verification.

We agree people can change their minds but in this case we pretty much chatted for a entire evening before and they had no problems with age. They were asking for the meet and as soon as we said yes it just turned Into a problem so it's an excuse I think.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP, I don't see any of the scenarios mentioned as timewasters.

They were either not right for you or changed their mind.

To me a timewaster simply fails to turn up at the arranged time.

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By *rof_cplCouple
over a year ago

Gerrards Cross

It sounds like the first guy was quite serious about a meet, not a time waster, but you turned him down because of his bisexuality.

That's your choice of course, but I'll never understand why people turn others down because of preferences which would play no part in the meet. I'm not into pain, or watersports but as long as that was understood we'd still meet somebody who was as it's none of our business what they do outside of the meet.

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By *hebritukCouple
over a year ago

London

Not everyone is who they say they are? Maybe that’s why some meets never materialise!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Time wasting in terms of they initiates contact chatted for nearly a week to then say the rules they set are now not right. They even requested the social last night as soon as we said yes they just backtracked

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