FabSwingers.com forum: Things not to do during sex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Stafford

Make peacock noises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eating crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use a buzz lighter toy as a dildo while shouting "to infinity and beyond"

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Calling partner someone else's name, all innocent, just happened. Ended relationship

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

"Use a buzz lighter toy as a dildo while shouting "to infinity and beyond""

Made me smile xx

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

Fart

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Fart"

I’m sure that’s a kink for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phoning your mum for a catch up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Burst out laughing.

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Fart

I’m sure that’s a kink for some."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being asked if it's in yet

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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago

STOKE ON TRENT

"Being asked if it's in yet

"
well is it?

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

Asking for the WiFi code

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/01/20 12:12:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Calling partner someone else's name, all innocent, just happened. Ended relationship"

Lol

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune."

Now I have that tune in my head!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting under dress before she said yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Getting under dress before she said yet

Yes

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

on the move

"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune.

Now I have that tune in my head!"

I suggest you don't try it during sex, I've taken that bullet for us all

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By *onynickiCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Looking at your watch!

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Smoke a cigarette whilst performing oral..

Cut yr toe nails whilst fucking the good lady from behind

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By *onynickiCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Oh yeah........ and logging into Fab to check for messages xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ring the wife.

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By *obmarieCouple
over a year ago

Mid Wales& Border

Farthings ok as long as it’s fanny farting!

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By *wFunGuy4YouMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

Stop

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By *andj4fungamesCouple
over a year ago

Los Alcazares

Ask if you can 'do doggy' so you can watch the TV and eat a kebab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fall asleep

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

Fart. It’s funny at the checkout counter but not when naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Check your phone

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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago

Chippenham Malmesbury area

Check out fab to arrange your next meet.

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By *isaAndNicoleTransTV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Laugh and roll about hysterically when a man reveals his penis for the first time, it doesn't go down well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Don't phone your ex to say sorry.

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

Or phone your wife to confess and apologise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the flying leap approach on an airbed

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By *az080378Woman
over a year ago

Cromer

"Burst out laughing."

Or crying!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fart. I never did get a veri after

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By *eith28Man
over a year ago

uxbridge

Fall asleep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blowing your nose, lol total passion killer!

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By *aveed74Man
over a year ago

a round and a bout Midlands

"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune."

That made me laugh out loud!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not true at all

For him

When ya are just fucking her doggy style whisper her mam or sisters name in her ear and see how long ya can hold on for lol

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

Stopping for a wee ..passion killer

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By *entleman of GirthMan
over a year ago

Forest Row

Saying “I thought your mum was better”

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

That ceiling needs painting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That ceiling needs painting

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By *annyotooleMan
over a year ago

st austell

"Stopping for a wee ..passion killer

Why stop just let it flow

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"
m

What’s wrong with socks? Being a bit soxist there I feel.

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By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

Dont tell a person that they remind you of a relative

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Make peacock noises. "

Love the random madness of this

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By *ire_thornMan
over a year ago

no comment

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Don't phone your ex to say sorry."

Haha last thing id do is call to say sorry... Heck i might send a pic depending on the break up and who was at fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"
eat a marmite and mustard sandwich

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Say, yr sister is a better fuck

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Cry "

That happened to me. After we had sex and were chatting and drinking (me playing for time so I could go again) just relaxing and she burst into tears. Very off putting.

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By *izzy69Man
over a year ago

London

Call someone mid fuck and say "I'll be there in 10 minutes"

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Order a curry

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

Call her by her nan's name xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fanny fart in your mans face while he's 'down there' (my wife accidentally did this to me)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a fat arse

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By *izzy69Man
over a year ago

London

"Fanny fart in your mans face while he's 'down there' (my wife accidentally did this to me)"

I'd be fine with that. Lol

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

South Side.

Talk about your ex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Inviting her sister to join us

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By *azza72Man
over a year ago

Leeds

Sudoku

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say 'it's like throwing a cocktail sausage down Morecambe high street'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

text yer harem

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By *hisCharManMan
over a year ago

South Manchester

Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day

I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre

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By *abrina59TV/TS
over a year ago

moved to cuckold land

Pick your toe nails

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By *ert n BerylCouple
over a year ago

middlesbrough

Beryl here.

When I was younger I took a bloke home. The sex was so crap I rang a taxi got him on my mobile while he was doing me doggy!

Doggy is my favourite position so shows how bad it was lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pick your nose? Yawn? Belch a beer burp just before you kiss?

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By *oungladMan
over a year ago

Burnham

Pulling an ace of spades out of a hole and saying "is this your card?"

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Making a pot noodle.

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Why do so many men do this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree. It could cause Burns.

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By *UNANDNICEMan
over a year ago

Basildon

Saying that your mum likes it this way.. LOL

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By *ot-AshMan
over a year ago

London

checking the football results.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask if it's in yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not laugh.

Or stare at the ceiling looking bored

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By *hisCharManMan
over a year ago

South Manchester

"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day

I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre"

in that case I promise every Saturday night, on or around 10:30 I’ll be mediocre

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Play " I spy with my little eye, something beginning with"

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Drum a tune on a girls bottom while in the doggy position and play the "name that tune in" game

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By *illyjohnyCouple
over a year ago

brighton

Well I guess I can tell the lads to pay up on the bet

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Why do so many men do this?"

Up north perhaps. Not down here. One of the first things we learn

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By *ldershyguyMan
over a year ago

Mansfield

Falling asleep. Lol

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Cook toast for a post natal snack.

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By *uke OzadeMan
over a year ago

Ho Chi Minge City

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Why do so many men do this?"

Maybe they’ve got cold feet

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By *hebritukCouple
over a year ago

London

Light up a fag and start reading a newspaper?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keep changing the chanel...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Making a pot noodle."

Making a pot noodle during sex

Is it weird I sort of want to see this.

I assume they ate it aswell as shared.

And calling anyone for a catch up is just wrong.

"Hey what you up to"

"Nothing, just hanging out the back of becky" or "Nothing, just ridding Timmy"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bad smell.

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By *rIntMan
over a year ago

London

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Why do so many men do this?

Maybe they’ve got cold feet

That’s a fact. Some might have ugly toes too lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day

I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre

in that case I promise every Saturday night, on or around 10:30 I’ll be mediocre

Deal.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

Asking if you’re ok every 30 seconds..

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Asking if you’re ok every 30 seconds.."

Okay... question is, how do you last thirty seconds?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Do some last second bidding on Ebay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ask her for chicken chow mein instead of a 69.

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By *nnocentimesMan
over a year ago

over there by that tree

"Asking if you’re ok every 30 seconds..

Okay... question is, how do you last thirty seconds?"

That is a very good question, at times I even surprise myself!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I done that the other night

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By *j69funCouple
over a year ago

kildare

Dont burp !

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By *hisCharManMan
over a year ago

South Manchester

"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day

I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre

in that case I promise every Saturday night, on or around 10:30 I’ll be mediocre

Deal. "

I’ll even let you have the remote

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Answer the phone call from your wife?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!"

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Fart

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By *iker boy 69Man
over a year ago

midlands

"Phoning your mum for a catch up"

I had an ex pick up her fone just as we got in bedroom, so i started licking her as she spoke, was funny watching her trying to muffle the oooohs, and ahhhs

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

I never understand the thing with the socks as long as they don't stink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making a pot noodle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?"

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?"

That definitely wasn't on the menu that night..... anal I mean, not the cheese grease

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Asking for the WiFi code"

Lmao ????

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?"

Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either.

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By *onynickiCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

"Answer the phone call from your wife?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?

Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either."

Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?

Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either.

Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part

She from Yorkshire?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?

Some people just don’t know how to explore!

Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment

What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?

Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem

Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?

Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either.

Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part

She from Yorkshire?"

No why? Are they a little careful with their money?

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By *rad110Man
over a year ago

rayliegh

Not being able to open condom packet quickly is a real show stopper

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By *oinus1961Couple
over a year ago

Huntingdon

My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".

That concluded things instantly.

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Shouting "autobots transform" right before changing positions.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

Watch TV

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Making a shopping list..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's a worrying number of mentions of pot noodle

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!

*Start singing circle of life*

Am I doing this right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fart!

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".

That concluded things instantly."

This is hilarious, thanks for sharing. Gave me a giggle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Making a shopping list.. "
ooooo get some rolls in I'm starving

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!

*Start singing circle of life*

Am I doing this right?"

Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Making a shopping list.. ooooo get some rolls in I'm starving

Rolls

surely baps

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By *eachPreacherMan
over a year ago

Kent/London

Make a sandwich

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By *hooselifeMan
over a year ago

Coventry

"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!

*Start singing circle of life*

Am I doing this right?

Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect

You know what, you are absolutely right.

I don't suppose you know any decent dogging spots overlooking the African savannah?

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

"My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".

That concluded things instantly."

Brilliant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stopping for a wee ..passion killer

Men have to wee after cumming. It's natures way of flushing all the pipes out and flushing out all of the cum/sperm that didn't cum out during ejaculation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wipe your cock on the curtains.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As she goes to suck you off say "I thought you don't like cheese?".

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By *ent_couple2019Couple
over a year ago

canterbury

"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.

What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"

Pleased someone agrees on the socks thing ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Making a shopping list.. ooooo get some rolls in I'm starving

Rolls

surely baps

"
ok I'll have your baps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put a bag over their head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use a buzz lighter toy as a dildo while shouting "to infinity and beyond""

Pmsl actually laughed out loud x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Writing my shopping list

Looking what's on TV channels

Doing my nails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start getting the giggles during a party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open mouth breath direct into someones face, i hate if a guy does that.

I however am guilty of singing disney and laughing (was d*unk and with a friend) not my finest moment

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By *ust me2019Woman
over a year ago

Kirkby

Day you need nappies

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By *oodguyeddieMan
over a year ago

l36

A lady once chucked up all over me as I was going down on her...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being asked if it's in yet

Often this thought has passed through my mind!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!

*Start singing circle of life*

Am I doing this right?

Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect

You know what, you are absolutely right.

I don't suppose you know any decent dogging spots overlooking the African savannah?"

Takes on a whole new meaning when the rustling in the bush might be a hungry leopard - Danger Dogging!

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By *ink Panther 123Man
over a year ago

Colnbrook

Not get fucking cramp lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her that she isn't as tight as her mum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Resting your drink or pizza on her ass as you fuck Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.

When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.

That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!

Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.

When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.

That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!

Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex

And this is why I always say, you have to have a sense of humour to do this and enjoy it! At least you avoided headbutting the lady as you slipped!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune."

Agreed. Test Match Special theme tune, however, is to be applauded.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

"In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.

When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.

That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!

Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Make peacock noises. "

Hahaha.

I feel like there is a story here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Funniest was when FWB and I were having sex (anal), she may have relaxed a bit too much.

I felt sorry for the cleaner in the hotel

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Listen to 50 things by Kunt and the Gang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

knitting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make small talk lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tax returns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

talk about parking ticket you got whilst buying her a bunch of flowers and box of milk tray

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