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Gentle intro to SandM

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By *nowman_77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Weston

My new buckfuddy wants to explore a sub/dom relationship. I’ll be honest, it’s been a while since I’ve done it and wondered where to start. She’s obviously read the 50 Shades books. ??

I was thinking about some simple orders for her to fulfill (going comeback at work, having a play in the office loos etc).

Does anyone have any good suggestions of how to build up to a bedroom environment, which is where I’m much more comfortable.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How does she want to do things? What direction does she want to go in. S and m is sadism and masochism are you sure that's what you both want?

Google something like "tasks for subs" and see if there are any appealing ideas there. Also buy some non fiction books like Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns and read them together. Don't be guided by 50 Shades

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'the loving dominant'

Excellent book well recommended

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By *nowman_77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Weston

She likes the idea of being dominated and told what to do, even if it’s outside her comfort zone.

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By *adyx4Woman
over a year ago

Durham


"'the loving dominant'

Excellent book well recommended "

I’ve added this to my amazon list. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Research! Watch documentaries on real domming... 50 shades is not the real world, unless that's how u want 2 do it...

Make ur own rules, do wot u both consent 2

X

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Reading books is fantastic, it captures the lifestyle in a nut shell. Unfortunately it only captures the shell, explanation is the only way to find out your level of play, that involves (if done rightly) a lot of sensual conversation.

Must add, from my perspective.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think a good start is a tweak on the bottom and when she says ‘ow!’ you can say ‘so what?’ and build it up from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See if you can get a copy of Sensuous Magic by Patrick Califia. It’s a great book, perfect for beginners

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills


"I think a good start is a tweak on the bottom and when she says ‘ow!’ you can say ‘so what?’ and build it up from there. "

Succinct as usual Steve (smiles), every journey starts from a single step... just make sure it’s in the right direction.

Steve has an important point.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"She likes the idea of being dominated and told what to do, even if it’s outside her comfort zone. "

nest step is to establish what her comfort zone is.

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By *nowman_77 OP   Man
over a year ago

Weston

Thanks for the advice, folks. Sounds like it’s a combination of some online research (books, ‘tinterweb etc) and then jointly establishing some boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the advice, folks. Sounds like it’s a combination of some online research (books, ‘tinterweb etc) and then jointly establishing some boundaries. "

OP

search the following terms..

1.Safe, Sane, consensual

2.Safewords (preferably use two)

3.Sub-drop

Have lots of fun xxx

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks for the advice, folks. Sounds like it’s a combination of some online research (books, ‘tinterweb etc) and then jointly establishing some boundaries. "

Yep. It's a lot of fun too. Enjoy!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I made the mistake of having ‘harder ya bitch’ as my safe phrase

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