FabSwingers.com forum: First time BDSM

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok, so honesty time, I’ve never done BDSM play, but had some experience in it as a sub. Meaning I’ve never been the one to be the Dom, I’ve seen some women who enjoy Dom BDSM from a male/partner, yet I’ve only had extras a sub and would like to know more. I’m also interested since some clubs also do BDSM play. I’d like to do more but don’t know if it’s for me or not... if anyone would like to offer advice from both Dom and Sub I’d be happy to take it onboard

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, so honesty time, I’ve never done BDSM play, but had some experience in it as a sub. Meaning I’ve never been the one to be the Dom, I’ve seen some women who enjoy Dom BDSM from a male/partner, yet I’ve only had extras a sub and would like to know more. I’m also interested since some clubs also do BDSM play. I’d like to do more but don’t know if it’s for me or not... if anyone would like to offer advice from both Dom and Sub I’d be happy to take it onboard

Hello Chris, I’d suggest having a look online for a local Munch. These are events where like-minded kinksters get together for a friendly social. You’ll find all sorts of folk there, and there’s bound to be (see what I did there..) someone who’ll take you under their wing

By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

The BBB and LAMchester both regularly hold workshops and training sessions. Munches are great to find out what is happening locally (you can find your local munches on the other fetish site)

But there are loads of things you can read as a start. The four I used to recommend when I ran a munch were:

The topping book

The bottoming book

SM101

Screw the roses, send me the thorns

For videos look up two knotty boys for rope and bondage work, and kink university for some general introduction to kink/BDSM play.

You will find that everyone does the same thing slightly differently, still as effectivity but they have their own take or experience. There is no 'right way' to do things but there are ways and practices that are safer or the risks have been assessed differently.

Always, always research... Learn about the physiology of the body, specifically with regards to physical aspects of BDSM (regardless of if you're in Dom or sub mode... As a sub you have a responsibility to yourself more so than your Dom does).

For example, if arms are tied above the head, do you know how to keep an eye on the circulation? What to look for? How long should they be there?