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Dumping (no not poo)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Should you dump a women you really like if her daughter punches you in the face without provocation and is definitely out of order and will never apologise either as she has no regret. I just see it as a big obstacle as her Mum can't control her? Thoughts welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d go to the police if it was in called for!!!

And maybe your partner needs you!!

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ironically the daughter called the Police herself she is 18 with a 2 year old. I only asked her to apologise. She punched me jumped in her car drove home on a provisional licence after several drinks and was stupid enough to call the Police. Next morning I ended it but now I'm getting guilt tripped as my gf says she did nothing wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first met hubby his 19 year old came and beat the crap out of us both.

The mum/your girlfriend probably needs you more than you realise x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should you dump a women you really like if her daughter punches you in the face without provocation and is definitely out of order and will never apologise either as she has no regret. I just see it as a big obstacle as her Mum can't control her? Thoughts welcome"

I'm guessing the daughter is a minor.

Is this site a secret that she has found out about?

How deep does the relationship go? If it's just a fling, I'd go. Teens can be quite horrendous.

Too many factors to actually give worthy advice.

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By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln


"Should you dump a women you really like if her daughter punches you in the face without provocation and is definitely out of order and will never apologise either as she has no regret. I just see it as a big obstacle as her Mum can't control her? Thoughts welcome"

Demanding an apology isn’t going to happen. When the child is calm try talking to her. Maybe say don’t you like me? Do I not make your mum happy? If you want me to leave I’ll go an never come back. Put the power in her hands. She will back down an might tell you what the problem is. Look at it like a test. She maybe wants you to lay down the law an decipline as kids feel unsafe with out it. She will fight you every step of the way.

Or it could simply be change. An fight or flight. Who knows we arnt there. But you are the adult.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She might need me I get that but I suppose I've hot enough of my own issues to deal with and I will find it difficult to forgive her daughter when she is consistently treating lots of people who care for her badly. She hits her mum headbutted her boyfriend. I'm not used to it

Really pleased to hear you and your hubby survived the 19gear old doing that to you both. How is the relationship with his son now?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should you dump a women you really like if her daughter punches you in the face without provocation and is definitely out of order and will never apologise either as she has no regret. I just see it as a big obstacle as her Mum can't control her? Thoughts welcome

I'm guessing the daughter is a minor. Not a minor but 18yo teenager

Is this site a secret that she has found out about? No no secret

How deep does the relationship go? If it's just a fling, I'd go. Been together one year

Teens can be quite horrendous.

Too many factors to actually give worthy advice. "

Yes families are complex

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By *redrobCouple (MM)
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

The daughter is an adult with her own home and family. If you have a good and happy relationship with her mother then she doesn't need to be involved in your relationship with her mother. If the mother insist on her being involved, then you do what's best for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

No she lives with her mum and her mum spoils her tbh (my opinion, most parents spoil their kids) . She protects her and calms her and everyone has to walk on eggshells around her after one of her tantrums. Her daughter got pregnant at 16 and her mum does everything, she used to go clubbing and bring doff guys, back and her mum let her because she is scared of her. I say nothing cis it's not my business but if I stay over and she hits her mum I will probably react myself and I don't want that to happen, that's why I ended it and I feel guilty for walking away from her mum who didnt do anything (apart from allow her daughter to get away with this behaviour)

Her daughter needs psychiatric anger management intervention.

Oh well thanks to all. It's my problem I have to decide.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's very difficult to offer advice based on one side of a story and without having the full details, but if you want the relationship with her Mum to carry on (and that is something only you can decide) I'd suggest sitting down with the Mum and talking it through - point out to her what you see as the problems, and why you think something needs to be done about them - she will of course be protective of her daughter, but IF this is as serious as you suggest, point out you're raising it for her daughter's protection as much as hers (the Mum) and because you have serious concerns about how it will pan out.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

Why did she hit you?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have concerns about her two year old if she is as volatile and aggressive as you say.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

She wouldn't hurt him, not seen any signs of that but she is volatile with adults

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks Gemini man

I have doe as you said. I advised her daughter needs anger management help. She is scared social services will just assume the worst and take her son away.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

There’s a reason for her anger. Anger is a side effect of deeper issues. Unless that is addressed, professionally, it won’t go away. Unless it is made clear to her that her behaviour is unacceptable she has no reason to seek help. It’s a vicious circle.

Maybe her mum allows it not only because she’s scared but maybe she feels guilty too because she may know why her daughter is so angry?

If nobody is going to step up it’s just going to get worse and things will escalate more and more.

I don’t know what to advise you. The road ahead will be a bumpy one if you stay though.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If you don't think you can cope with the situation then walk away. It sounds like there are big issues there, the last thing required is another person in the mix who can't deal with it. Honestly, if you can't help the situation the best thing you can do is leave. This doesn't make you bad, it just makes you realistic. Too often I've seen people get involved in situations that they genuinely can't remedy only to make it worse.

If on the other hand you feel you might be able to support them and help the situation then stick around.

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By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Fuck her off mate she sounds like trouble.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Would a compromise be for the two of you to meet at your house rather than her house, then you don't have to have contact with the daughter ?

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You’ll become an emotional crutch to her mum, which is fine if you love her and are sure you want to stay. But it will be exhausting and frustrating for you, probably.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes meeting at my house is a good option but doesn't address the, issue. I live over an hour away and it will mean we see each other less frequently but might be a good interim solution, thanks x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

It does sound like trouble, hence my post. I hate the idea of giving up too easily though

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks La Luna

Being an emotional crutch was what my 27 year marriage was like maybe I am a glutton for punishment

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