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Would you have done the same?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Invited by a guy who offered me a 1-2-1 oil massage and some horney sex. We arranged the meet and litterally last minute texted to say that another guy would be there too.

I thought this was quite disrespectful....I would almost have walked in on 2 guys instead. I thought it was inconsiderate not to let me know earlier so that I could decide. I suppose I wouldn't have minded if I knew what the plan was, but it is unfair if you cannot arrange a meet properly without all adults consenting properly.

I refused the meet deeming this to be the right thing to do. Dont know how others feel about this...would you have done the same in this situation???

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

You was right to do so as you had not even spoke to the other person that was there to set what you was willing to do and how far you was willing to go

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yea that was my thought on it. Boundaries need to be established...no matter now horney or hardcore you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you were right to say no and look out for your own safety. I'd have done the same thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite simply yes I was have done the same

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By *oppet22TV/TS
over a year ago

huddersfield

On some of my meets when I have got there they have been others there all I do is chat to them 1st then decide whether to go or stay don't get me wrong they have allways turned out good meets

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I’d not go. 2 guys to rob you? I wouldn’t take the chance. You did right.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

It's only respectful for all people involved to know who else was going to be at the meet.

We would of pulled out of the meet too. Respect, manners and common decency go a long way. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way.

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Gut instinct, communication and boundaries...

The risks outway the benefits.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's only respectful for all people involved to know who else was going to be at the meet.

We would of pulled out of the meet too. Respect, manners and common decency go a long way. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks that way."

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By *moothdickMan
over a year ago

stoke

Totally disrespectful.. run and block

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree. Obviously both had profile that were verified on here, but i only agreed to meet one guy that i liked. The second guy was also verified. I agree that common decency and respect for each other is important in arranging sexual encounters

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By *adetMan
over a year ago

South of Ipswich

Absolutely done the right thing

It's sounds like he was hedging his bets by inviting more than one just in case anybody dropped out but that's not your problem

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Absolutely you were right to do that and consider your safety. Guys like this are probably the reason why more women are choosing the safety of clubs to meet in. There's nothing to say that there could have been more than two either. If he hadn't have told you, you could have been in a lot of trouble. What a creep.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had this happen to me,male, meeting a mf couple and was told another guy would be there at the last minute I declined to attend. I choose who I play with and not into gb's Mr

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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere

Totally agree this was the right thing to do for safety. Although some parts of society would think that as swingers we already have a misguided moral compass, I think within the swinging world there is a “re-calibrated” compass that most of us work to. Clearly your host wasn’t following that!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Really appreciate this post and hopefully it raises awareness of how to respect other swingers.

Some of the comments on this post seem to be moving towards the suggestion that perhaps this person should be blocked/reported on the site? (For safety reasons) Maybe this seems harsh...not sure what others feel about this??

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By *carlett AllureWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

Yup definitely would of been a no no from me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Way different to what you had agreed and indicates no respect for your boundaries, feelings or desire for safety. None of which implies a good sexual encounter. You were absolutely right to cancel.

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By *ockforplay66Man
over a year ago

Southampton/isle of wight/ everywhere


"Really appreciate this post and hopefully it raises awareness of how to respect other swingers.

Some of the comments on this post seem to be moving towards the suggestion that perhaps this person should be blocked/reported on the site? (For safety reasons) Maybe this seems harsh...not sure what others feel about this??"

I dont think reporting this is too harsh at all. By doing so, you are simply presenting the facts from your point of view, then it is the Fab management that make the final decision on the fate of this person. We all have a duty to each other to ensure this site is as safe as possible for all

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Block them yes. Reporting them is pointless, they've been very disrespectful but ultimately they weren't abusive, they told you beforehand, and haven't broken any fab rules or laws.

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Disrespectful" and "unfair" is putting it mildly!

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

if you weren't comfortable with it you had every right to say no.

I don't know about anyone else but its certainly happened to me before where I have driven an hour to meet someone who never even opened the door to me.

But just shouted out of her window that she was sorry and changed her mind.

Just block them, know that they aren't for you and move on.

We all get shat on from time to time.

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

Same sorta thing has happened to me.

I've invited a guy round.

Then some other guy gets in touch.

I explain I have already said yes to someone at such-and-such a time.

"We could have a 3some," he says.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love being spit-roasted.

But I do not think that is fair on the person I said yes to.

Feels like I'd be shifting the goalposts.

Going to someone's house for the first time can make some people a little apprehensive.

Getting there and feeling you had been set up would piss some people off.

Not everyone I guess.

But I just don't think it's fair to change the terms like that.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd not expect someone to change agreed plans and would be annoyed or angry if they did.

It's different to the early stages, where you may be discussing options. And at the last minute, someone could introduce the option of a change but it should very much be that, an option. Generally though, when people may invest a lot into a meet beforehand, including family prep, work rearrangements, costs including travel, as well as a lot of time, there should only be emergency last minute changes and always with maximum notice, consideration and communication.

If somebody manages to get another meet option instead, that doesn't count as a necessary, unavoidable emergency.

I was walking late at night to an agreed meet recently. They decided to change the meeting point at the point that they should have been there, to one several miles away. That's unreasonable too, so I was angry and made that clear. I was alone late at night in the cold and public transport and taxis were unavailable. Even so, the point is to honour agreements. Lack of respect is intolerable.

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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago

Ramsgate

I have a good buddy and we meet with a third guy occasionally if they can accomm but we always check that each of us is comfortable with each other. Having a third person is exciting but it changes the dynamic (as well as the possibilities for activities) but it not fair or polite to introduce a third without saying something. If it’s in a club or sauna then that’s a different scenario.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I sympathise with all of you who have had a similar experience. Thanks for the support and advice. Personally I used to be shy before a meet up but have developed more confidence and more friends on the site with time. However,as mentioned it's important to respect someone else's preference and communicate this clearly. As confident as I feel with mmf or more in a group situation, it's important for everyone to be happy when someone new want to join in.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Really appreciate this post and hopefully it raises awareness of how to respect other swingers.

Some of the comments on this post seem to be moving towards the suggestion that perhaps this person should be blocked/reported on the site? (For safety reasons) Maybe this seems harsh...not sure what others feel about this??"

I would probably report the profile to admin.

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