FabSwingers.com forum: How to tell !!

By *ony 529 OP Man
over a year ago

coventry

How could I possibly tell my partner I’m bi ?? I don’t think it would be an easy thing to do and she hasn’t got much of a sense of humor

. And before anyone asks no she doesn’t know I like to dress up . But I would appreciate any helpful suggestions in approaching the subject , if not merry Christmas to you all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a article on Pride on this very subject you may find hepful. Not sure I can paste the link here, but google '5 Tips for Those Struggling to Come Out as Bisexual'.

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By *ony 529 OP Man
over a year ago

coventry

"There's a article on Pride on this very subject you may find hepful. Not sure I can paste the link here, but google '5 Tips for Those Struggling to Come Out as Bisexual'."
thank you xx I will certainly give it a try x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This isn't the same thing I know, but I once dated a guy who was trans (he never told me until after we split) but while we were together, he'd cheat on me, and go online etc sex chatting with men pretending to be a woman and wear women's clothes in private etc.

Once I found out about the cheating, I left him, and he later came out as trans. It wouldn't have worked out between us, but finding out like that and dealing with being lied to all that time was the hardest part.

What I'm saying is do it sooner rather than later because being deceived and strung along will be much harder on your partner in the long run compared to one painful conversation for you.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

You need to sit her down and tell her. Trust me, you will feel a whole load better once the initial shock and tears from you both are over with.

Then you can start moving forwards in a way where you can be true to yourself. It's all you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op you are you and being bi is part of being you so if your partner does not like you being bi then maybe you need a new partner because life is for living and not hiding away who you really are.

Good luck

Tony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Start by dressing up for sex

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

You should definitely tell her if you intend doing anything about it

If you aren't going to do anything about it without her approval

then it's more of a judgement call if she'll be understanding of your, curiosity,

but if you don't raise it you'll never know will you lol

Exploring each others fantasies is always a good way of broaching things

P.s going to a rocky horror night is good for broaching others lol

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

My ex had a new chap then found clothes stashed away that he was wearing when she was not around. Needless to say it all ended very quickly. She was hurt quite badly emotionally.

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

As the ex-wife of a trans woman, the sooner you speak to her the better and do so in a subtle way.

Don't blurt it out in Tescos or anything.

Our marriage ended for a multitude of reasons, but the dishonesty was a large part of it.

A successful marriage is based on communication, honesty and trust. Cal and I have been together almost 20 years, we have explored our sexual fantasies and my sexuality together.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

If you tread carefully and very slowly it may be something she might accept or even enjoy with you over time.

If you've been cheating on her that might not be so acceptable to her. Either way it's not fair to yourself or to her to keep this a hidden part of you.

Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IMO being bi is separate to liking to dressing up. I love bi guys but not into men in lingerie so I wouldn’t bring the two up together. She may be fine with one and not the other. I’d just have a heart to heart... is it something you’ve come to realise since you were with her? Just be honest and sensitive about it. I came out as bi to my husband after we were married but I’m aware there is more stigma for men x good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to talk openly to her. Communication is everything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did it early this year. I told her the story from the beginning, very openly, filling gaps in in what she already knew and providing the context. It took most of my adult life to accept it myself. However with lots of cathartic tears I managed to tell her. She took it remarkably well and we are working through the consequences. It helped that I am non-practising.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure she is sober when she climbs the staircase.

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By *ifeandhubby400Couple
over a year ago

Arse hole of nowhere ,Scotland

My hubby is bi ,but doesnt dress up etc ,but he hid it from me for over 20 years ,so when i found out he was on Fab guys and chatting and flirting it was like a knife in my heart ,a woman i could have delt with ,long story short after lots of arguing etc and talking about splitting up we decided we would be unhappy apart so we stayed together and came on here and for the first time in 25 years we are more open than ever and i accept who he is and the fact we play together keeps us strong ,but finding out rather than being told nearly broke us ,hubby said he was ashamed and scared id leave ,which i dont think i would have ,You know her best so can decide when and how to tell her she will be shocked and hurt give her time to process everything and good luck ..

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By *hoot45Man
over a year ago

Ramsgate

"IMO being bi is separate to liking to dressing up. I love bi guys but not into men in lingerie so I wouldn’t bring the two up together. She may be fine with one and not the other. I’d just have a heart to heart... is it something you’ve come to realise since you were with her? Just be honest and sensitive about it. I came out as bi to my husband after we were married but I’m aware there is more stigma for men x good luck "

Totally agree. I’m attracted to bi guys too but I’m not attracted to cross dressing or transvestism - nothing against it, but it’s just not for me. I’m not sure you should deal with both of these things at the same time.

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By *ony 529 OP Man
over a year ago

coventry

Every one... thank you for all your fantastic wise words x. But ! If i tell the one I love more than anything else, trust me I will be on my own

and I really don’t want this

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