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Discretion in public jobs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I work in quite a public role, and ever since a colleague was embarrassed at work a few years ago because of an account on fetlife, I’ve been very cautious about face pics and exposing too much, even though it makes it less likely that I’ll get any interest. I actually hid my account on here for a couple of years because of it. How do people feel about, and deal with the risk of being exposed like that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to feel like that when I first joined here tbh but over the last year Ive told myself this is who I am and what I do ... nothing to be embarrassed about

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We both have public jobs - and face pictures in our friends only gallery - but both sets of work colleagues know about our hobby.

Our attitude is simply that we're doing nothing illegal, nobody is getting hurt and if people think it immoral, that's their problem. The aim being to make our lifestyle as accepted as homosexuality, bisexuality, transvestism etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would look at in the way that if someone does recognise you on here then, well, they're on here for the same reason(ish) as you are.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

As I live alone and won't be involving anyone else, I honestly don't care. My job does have a policy in place about bringing it in to disrepute. But I think that's more about joining right wing groups than swinging websites or crossdressing.

I have been open to some work colleagues in the past, no backlash from that, so if I'm exposed, I'll deal with it

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Is what you do illegal...?.... No

It's knowing that colleagues know about your personal life..

But is it no different from knowing theirs.. In that most colleagues no doubt will be hetro so you know what sex they indulge in, though, lets be honest, probably wonder do they have Kinks.. OK so some colleagues may be gay.. You know they will have gay sex...

Is it any different being on a sex site for meets than colleagues knowing you're a jack the lad going out clubbing/socialising every week and getting partners on the pull..

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

Whilst we don't have public face pics it's a personal choice rather than because of our jobs.

Legally there are very few jobs that could fire you for having a profile and pictures on here. It may be frowned upon and cause you some embarrassment but businesses would have a hard time firing you for it.

Remember you can also block you profile from showing to newbies, non-verified accounts or even only show to silver and gold members. This means that if you were 'outed' then it would be by someone who was a member here and they would have to make a concerted effort to get your profile!!

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By *ave-and-LouiseCouple
over a year ago

Torquay

It's difficult, many employers have a point in the contract around "bringing the company into disrepute". All it takes is a narrow minded customer to find out and complain and it can all go south very quickly. I guess it's up to each of us to decide how much risk we want to take. I'd like to hope that one day being a swinger will be more widely accepted and the ridiculous click-bait newspaper headlines etc will dissapear, and we can all be as public as we like.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

But providing ones bedrooms preferences are not illegal... How can narrow minded folk complain..

Someone is not going to shout out in tescos I refuse to be served by this guy coz he wears womens clothing

Or

M'lud I refuse to be cross examined by this barrister as I am aware he attends S&M parties in a seedy club in the neighbouring town..

Shit Britain's legal system would collapse..

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By *ldaCouple
over a year ago

sutton Coldfield

I wouldn't have sexual,pics showing my face, but don't think that a plain face photo is going to present a problem. If identifiable sexual,pics of me were found I would be sacked, so I need to be a bit careful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I keep readimg the title as discretion in public loos

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

I think employers would think very carefully about this now. It would be difficult to defend at a tribunal.

A head teacher, sacked for having sex with 17 year old lads he met on a dating app, won quite a large case(£700k) recently.

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By *ldaCouple
over a year ago

sutton Coldfield

You’re missing the point a bit. It’s not what you do, it’s what can be seen. So if you have sex with whoever, that’s fine as long as it’s legal. If pics of that get into the public domain, you are in trouble

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It depends on your job. Anything in education I would be very careful. It may not be illegal, it might be your private business but parents can be very judgemental about who is looking after their kids even if they're swinging from the chandeliers with all and sundry most nights themselves. They make enough fuss, speak to enough governors you might not get sacked but your position could be made untenable. Don't even want to think about your pictures being circulated.

It's very easy to say that no employer could sack you for being on fab but the reality of life is that a teacher was suspended for risky Facebook pictures. How are you going to gain the respect of a classroom full of rowdy teenagers after that?

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