FabSwingers.com forum: How many responses to ladies and couples get?

By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

For us it all depends on the message itself, you would be surprised how many guys copy and paste the exact same message over and over again.

Anyone that clearly hasn't bothered to read our profile we just delete the message.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Depending on a number of factors (how long you've been on the site, how you engage with the site, filters), yes, it can be. Every woman will have had at least a time where this was true.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

... But yes, even on a quiet day (which for me is under 100 messages), I delete any clearly lazy message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only get a few a day....if that. But filters are on max!

N x

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

For us it all depends on the message itself, you would be surprised how many guys copy and paste the exact same message over and over again.

Anyone that clearly hasn't bothered to read our profile we just delete the message. "

So what would a good response be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not hundreds these days (was at the beginning), now more like 10 or so a day.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

For us it all depends on the message itself, you would be surprised how many guys copy and paste the exact same message over and over again.

Anyone that clearly hasn't bothered to read our profile we just delete the message.

So what would a good response be?"

A good message depends on what the individual wants, which you can tell by reading their profile.

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"... But yes, even on a quiet day (which for me is under 100 messages), I delete any clearly lazy message. "

Do you read them all before deleting them? I normally put: Hello {name} in the title/subject line, before putting more info in the main box. The wrong thing to do?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"... But yes, even on a quiet day (which for me is under 100 messages), I delete any clearly lazy message.

Do you read them all before deleting them? I normally put: Hello {name} in the title/subject line, before putting more info in the main box. The wrong thing to do?"

I do, yes. But not everyone will.

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By *razytimesinloveCouple
over a year ago

SW Scotland

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

For us it all depends on the message itself, you would be surprised how many guys copy and paste the exact same message over and over again.

Anyone that clearly hasn't bothered to read our profile we just delete the message. "

We have the same problem, it’s annoying when people expect you to read their message without bothering to read your profile first !

We at lease say we’re not interested as it only takes a second to type.

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By *ngels of Sin 69Couple
over a year ago

High Wycombe

"Not hundreds these days (was at the beginning), now more like 10 or so a day."

Same as this, more if we have popped a new vid or pic up. The ones that are deleted without response are mainly those that havent read the profile

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

our age probably reduces some of the messages thank goodness but do still get in the teens each day, some get deleted some get replied to it largely depends on the message tbh

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I changed my filters ages ago.

Pretty much stopped all messages

But been playing a few forum games recently so took them down.

Apart from the forum PMs, I've deleted unread 115 so far today!

I'm in a different area, I'm not looking to meet, but I'm obviously popping up as 'fresh meat' on the locals radar!

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"our age probably reduces some of the messages thank goodness but do still get in the teens each day, some get deleted some get replied to it largely depends on the message tbh

What kind of message would be an automatic no?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mostly the case for us.

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

We used to reply to everyone. Takes 2 seconds to say 'no thanks' but then we'd get people arguing their case, insulting us and just being rude so we started to just ignore/delete.

Theres also only so many times you can type 'you didn't read the profile'.

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I changed my filters ages ago.

Pretty much stopped all messages

But been playing a few forum games recently so took them down.

Apart from the forum PMs, I've deleted unread 115 so far today!

I'm in a different area, I'm not looking to meet, but I'm obviously popping up as 'fresh meat' on the locals radar! "

Blimey - that's a lot. How many would you meet?

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"We used to reply to everyone. Takes 2 seconds to say 'no thanks' but then we'd get people arguing their case, insulting us and just being rude so we started to just ignore/delete.

Theres also only so many times you can type 'you didn't read the profile'. "

Yes, the couple I spoke to mentioned the abusive messages. What a weird head-space to be in if you feel the need to humiliate someone because they wouldn't give you what you wanted!

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"our age probably reduces some of the messages thank goodness but do still get in the teens each day, some get deleted some get replied to it largely depends on the message tbh

Just checked your profile - Kitten looks in great shape. You're a lucky man. Do you get message from younger people, who like the idea of playing with an older couple?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In our experience most messages are complete rubbish (from all genders, it's not just a single male thing). It's not hard to pick something out of even the shortest profile to comment on, or comment on a pic, or something else from the profile to indicate that the sender is paying a bit of attention and not just spraying out messages in the hope of getting a hit. This won't guarantee a response but it will stand more chance than the standard 'hi, how are you' variety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We used to reply to everyone. Takes 2 seconds to say 'no thanks' but then we'd get people arguing their case, insulting us and just being rude so we started to just ignore/delete.

Theres also only so many times you can type 'you didn't read the profile'. "

This is our experience too. Being reported for turning down single males was getting exhausting

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

All of the above, yes.

If I can't tell the message is about me, I delete it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Humour in a message is always welcomed by us as we look for people with a good sense of humour.

Completely ignoring the fact we are a couple and directing messages just to Larissa also puts us off. Photos showing a dick next to a chocolate bar is also very off-putting and has stopped me buying Mars bar's for life.

Also men who feel the need to tell is they are a heavy cummer.

Ugh.

For us messages should show you've read our profile, have a similar interest in what we are looking for, while being polite and respectful. Then we reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of the above, yes.

If I can't tell the message is about me, I delete it. "

That's a good way of putting it

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By *rof_cplCouple
over a year ago

Gerrards Cross

I recently posted a thread about pretty much the same subject and got lots of interesting replies...

https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/948292

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

"I changed my filters ages ago.

Pretty much stopped all messages

But been playing a few forum games recently so took them down.

Apart from the forum PMs, I've deleted unread 115 so far today!

I'm in a different area, I'm not looking to meet, but I'm obviously popping up as 'fresh meat' on the locals radar!

Blimey - that's a lot. How many would you meet?"

None.

As I said, I'm not looking to meet.

I'm here visiting family, catching up with a few friends.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

We get a handful of messages a week now but then again we are not seeking single men and if they’ve read the profile ( yes I know it’s a big if ) they will have noticed that we are only meeting at chameleons at the moment so that puts plenty of people off.

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By *lpha-and-FoxtrotCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

Most messages we receive it's evident they haven't read our profile. The majority will then claim to have read it even though we know they haven't. If they are copy and paste or something along the lines of "nice pics"/want to meet now/I'd love to fuck the Mrs" it will either be an automatic delete or may just have some fun winding them up.

If there's so little effort with a message why would we think anything more would be any different?

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Humour in a message is always welcomed by us as we look for people with a good sense of humour.

Also men who feel the need to tell is they are a heavy cummer.

Ugh.

For us messages should show you've read our profile, have a similar interest in what we are looking for, while being polite and respectful. Then we reply

Just so you know - my penis comparison confectionery of choice would be a Curly Wurly|

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

We get very few, and we have no filters. But it says on our profile that we are mostly only meeting socially, so perhaps people do read. We respond to every message that is more than just a single sentence. But as we get so few that’s no real hardship.

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We get maybe 4 messages a week most of the time. But weve got single guys blocked and age filters on at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get a stupid amount . If I upload a pic may get more. If I'm not looking to meet I dont really read them

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

Love your black and white images!

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

I always reply to localish guys or ones who have written a nice message or if they're hot. I delete without reading the rest every month or so. They're usually miles away or something.

Nothing worse than a full inbox.

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By *rladytoyMan
over a year ago

bournemouth

"Recently spoke to a couple at my local swingers club. They said they get hundreds of messages. and delete loads of them without even reading them.

Is this the case for all ladies and couples?

Ah dont worry, people have to make themselves feel better and important one way or another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try and reply to those that have obviously read our profile and not just looked at our pics. Any message that are offensive are just blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We only get a few a day....if that. But filters are on max!

N x"

This

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I keep my filters tight so I don't get a load a day. I get between 10 and 20 new messages a day and then there's the people I chat to who I message as well. I answer most of mine a lot of the time even if it's just to say no. I don't answer the ones that cheat through my filters or are rude. I think it's a numbers thing for most people tho. There are only so many you can answer in a day and keep other chats going.

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

When my filters are wide open, yes I receive a lot of messages. But I don’t see the point as they are mainly from people I am not interested in. I found much more success sending out my own messages. Not everyone was interested but it worked better. Who wants 100s of messages a day?

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"When my filters are wide open, yes I receive a lot of messages. But I don’t see the point as they are mainly from people I am not interested in. I found much more success sending out my own messages. Not everyone was interested but it worked better. Who wants 100s of messages a day? "

So no. I don’t get that many each day. Only from people I have normally met at the moment.

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

Unless we have a meet posted we probably get 3-5 a week, it goes up if we post a meet, significantly so.

We have filters set and have been here long enough to have used the block button to narrow down those locally who we have identified as definitely not of interest.

We still delete most messages, but we do reply to everyone who has taken the time to read our profile and verify they are a match to what we're looking for.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I had exactly that, a guy had obviously cut and pasted their standard message. Talking to me/about me regarding cuckold and sharing your wife.

Had to point out - I'm a single woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We can go a couple of weeks without any messages. We tend to get more when we have put up a status or posted in the forums. Rarely have they read our profile so we often just delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like most people, we get a few a day. If the profile is hidden, as it usually is, we get none. If it's showing we get probably 3 or 4. We have really good filters on as well, which helps to out the chancers - have to be a site supporter, have to have public photos, etc.

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By *anmol OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Like most people, we get a few a day. If the profile is hidden, as it usually is, we get none. If it's showing we get probably 3 or 4. We have really good filters on as well, which helps to out the chancers - have to be a site supporter, have to have public photos, etc. "

Yes, I have seen the site supporter message. What's the significance. Why is that important for some people?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair I have put a lot of effort into messages and been ignored so tend not to anymore and then had a nice chat with someone from a simple hello!

I go with short and sweet and a hope for the best.

I have a feeling most messages are deleted immediately by single ladies and I could imagine the ladies are bombarded so completely understand.

Won’t stop me from having a look and trying to make contact in future though ??

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

Yes, I have seen the site supporter message. What's the significance. Why is that important for some people?"

It's an additional filter that reduces the amount of messages from those who tend to go unlos on a regular basis then return next time they are looking for a cheap thrill.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

We get a couple a week. Polite ones that actually show they are interested in us (as opposed to carpet-bombing messages) get a polite reply. Messages which make no mention of our names or anything about us personally get deleted. If they could say exactly the same thing word-for-word to somebody else then we're not interested.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

We get a few most days and read them all - though the banal, copy & paste ones don't get a sensible reply.

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By *orthyorkypairCouple
over a year ago

North Yorkshire

"our age probably reduces some of the messages thank goodness but do still get in the teens each day, some get deleted some get replied to it largely depends on the message tbh

What kind of message would be an automatic no?

one where it is obvious profile not even beeen glanced through

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get quite a lot of messages I wouldn't say hundreds, some we respond to and some we don't depends on the content,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We’re not hardened swingers as such and have filters on, we haven’t full swapped either so probably narrows down our messages nicely.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

I don't get hundreds but I get far too many from men who don't read my profile, the majority of them I just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't get hundreds but I get far too many from men who don't read my profile, the majority of them I just delete."
They don’t read just wank

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By *racy_JacksWoman
over a year ago

Derby

I mainly have my filters off at the moment as I’m also hoping to use the site to find something more than sex, so I don’t want to block single guys so that the few who might be looking for similar can get through.

This actually makes the site really difficult to use for casual meets- I would usually be able to focus on a few decent chats but I find it hard with the filters off and new messages coming through. I reckon I’m going to have to rethink my strategy and I really don’t know how women manage to use the site without having filters on.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I use filters so my mail is manageable

On our couple profile we have single men blocked as we don't want to meet them ,that cuts down a lot of mail.As does the fact I am straight and many couples specifically seek bi fems or couples with a bi fem.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

"our age probably reduces some of the messages thank goodness but do still get in the teens each day, some get deleted some get replied to it largely depends on the message tbh

What kind of message would be an automatic no?

Any asking if i'm free now

Or asking wuu2?or wuin2

I like most women check a profile before deciding to reply

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By *mberWoman
over a year ago

Preston

I left my profile live for 24 hours and got 166. Hence why I stay hidden a lot of the time.

I read every one and looked at every profile and deleted most without responding.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"I don't get hundreds but I get far too many from men who don't read my profile, the majority of them I just delete. They don’t read just wank

Well that's different, wank away, wank away!

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

Any one way outside our age range gets deleted, course vulgar profile names get deleted and we politely reply to all the redt

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By *iamond coupleCouple
over a year ago

leeds

“Redt” ??? Rest

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By *arkbaneMan
over a year ago

East leeds

"We used to reply to everyone. Takes 2 seconds to say 'no thanks' but then we'd get people arguing their case, insulting us and just being rude so we started to just ignore/delete.

Theres also only so many times you can type 'you didn't read the profile'. "

Just block them ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read all the messages but I delete majority of them. And block a lot, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...Yes, I have seen the site supporter message. What's the significance. Why is that important for some people?"

I figure if someone won't spend a few quid on a paid m_mbership they probably aren't all that serious about the lifestyle and are just chancers, and dipping in to "see what happens". (Note to the toe dippers: nothing will happen - this lifestyle takes effort and time.

It also eliminates those that sign up again and again after they get blocked under another profile name.

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