FabSwingers.com forum: What is more polite?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If someone is not my type, I always message back and say, sorry you are not my type. But today someone messaged me back and said that I should just say no thanks because it is less hurtful. The trouble is if you say no thanks then it sets up a conversation even worse than saying not my type. I have enough people coming back and saying, well what is your type, and I can change!

Your thoughts...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If someone is not my type, I always message back and say, sorry you are not my type. But today someone messaged me back and said that I should just say no thanks because it is less hurtful. The trouble is if you say no thanks then it sets up a conversation even worse than saying not my type. I have enough people coming back and saying, well what is your type, and I can change!

Your thoughts..."

maybe say why they're not your type? still nice to hear you're being polite

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Your thoughts..."

You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

To me, a sorry your not my type is the same as a thanks but no thanks message. They mean the same thing!

Can't see how it is more hurtful....if you had put a list of reasons why they were not your type, then I could understand it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think being told you're not someones type is the best way to tell them because you're not saying anything bad, you're just saying that they are not what you are looking for

and people should not change what they are to try and meet someone, they need to stay true to themself, say thank you for replying and move on

siiple

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

maybe say why they're not your type? still nice to hear you're being polite"

I don't see the need for that. No one really likes rejection and why make someone feel worse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your thoughts..."

I hate it when people dont take rejection as rejection.. had a spat of guys getting arsey of late.. havent had that for ages.

For instance I dont meet any forces guys or gals.. and they can get most annoyed.. but they should just accept it and move on.

Cali

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i just say that i am not looking to take this further, if they then come back ad ask why i ignore them, as far as i am concerned i have been polite in the first instance, they should accept that and move on

i dont see the point in becoming involved in a conversation as to why i dont want to meet them

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

You won't please everybody all of the time...and if someone can't take a polite rejection then maybe they shouldn't be on an adult site where you are bound to get rejected.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to be told

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i say, thanks but your not really my type, or if they sent a very nice or long message, i say thanks for your message as well. Sometimes men say, well what is your type then? or how do you know if you havnt met me. which is a silly thing to say realy, because sometimes you have met someone who looked like them and you didnt like them, or you just dont like the look of them, or could be because what their profile says or what there verifications say, or the verifications they left for other people.

People are all so different in looks and personality types, we arent going to all like the same things.

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By *ittenandthepirateCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

"If someone is not my type, I always message back and say, sorry you are not my type. "

That's exactly what we say. It would be massively awkward if they asked why and we wouldn't tell them if we thought they'd take it badly. I'd rather someone rejected us with 'you're not my type' rather than 'you're damned ugly'.

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

The truth always hurts. Too bad he took it the way he did. But that is for his ego to deal with. Deep down he will appreciate your honesty.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i say, thanks but your not really my type, or if they sent a very nice or long message, i say thanks for your message as well. Sometimes men say, well what is your type then? or how do you know if you havnt met me. which is a silly thing to say realy, because sometimes you have met someone who looked like them and you didnt like them, or you just dont like the look of them, or could be because what their profile says or what there verifications say, or the verifications they left for other people.

People are all so different in looks and personality types, we arent going to all like the same things."

This is exactly what I get too. I have to say I do delete messages that come back and ask what is your type because it's hard to get beyond "it's not you".

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I did think about designing a little template with about 100 reasons why I might not be interested in someone - you know, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, dickhead, narcissist etc

Then when I was sending a reply to reject them, rather than a polite and courteous 'Thanks but not really my type sorry' I could tick the relevant reasons on the template and then forward it to them and completely make them feel like shit by detailing not one but 98 reasons why I wasnt interested....

But basically I couldnt be arsed, so the courteous 'Thanks but not really my type sorry' is all they are going to get...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have actually now started to say thanks but not for me.. even if they never sent a photo..

reason being.. I hate it when I like a profile.. and the message but there are no face photos.. I get one and think oh no.. And then have to refuse.

they know its then because of the photo... and that can get messy.

Cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I did think about designing a little template with about 100 reasons why I might not be interested in someone - you know, too fat, too thin, too old, too young, dickhead, narcissist etc

But basically I couldnt be arsed, so the courteous 'Thanks but not really my type sorry' is all they are going to get...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have actually now started to say thanks but not for me.. even if they never sent a photo..

reason being.. I hate it when I like a profile.. and the message but there are no face photos.. I get one and think oh no.. And then have to refuse.

they know its then because of the photo... and that can get messy.

Cali "

I think I may need to do this too, but I will get, but you haven't even seen me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I may need to do this too, but I will get, but you haven't even seen me!!"

I block as soon as I send the thanks but no thanks on these ones.

cali

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think I may need to do this too, but I will get, but you haven't even seen me!!

I block as soon as I send the thanks but no thanks on these ones.

cali "

That is a good way of ensuring they don't keep coming back time after time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is a good way of ensuring they don't keep coming back time after time."

I got fed up of the comments like what you state you have had.. the but you havent met me.

What is your type

I could change...

And it always tends to end badly..

Cali

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your thoughts..."

If its a personalised message and a no thinks with some sort of short reason is enough. If its a generalised message or drivel then just delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

then sometimes when you say to them there not your type, they say, thats ok, hope you have fun, then you think they sound nice, and might of been worth meeting after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll send the 'thanks, but no thanks' message, and at the beginning of the year there were a fair few more arsey/abusive guys messaging back with various comments but they seem to have slackened off again and now I get more of the 'thanks for replying messages'.

Must admit though if I get the why not messages back now I tend to just reply with 'because I don't want to'...usually results in them blocking me which saves grief!!

Don't like to be nasty or harsh but I tend to reply to messages in the same manner I'm messaged so some nasty messages have been sent! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your thoughts..."

I reply "no thanks" then i block, am bored now of having to explain myself, so its simpler

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