FabSwingers.com forum: Worst one liners

By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?

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By *rs and mr sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

Boldon

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"

None luckily - have great filters

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

take us forever to tell you as we get them all the time

Waste of bloody time

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"

Note to self don't use that one liner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"

pmsl at that line , but we have the obvious ones " can i fuck you" we even had one "j.." thats all it said lol

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By *r and mrs sanddancerCouple
over a year ago

BOLDON COLLIERY

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?

None luckily - have great filters

yeh so good I dont get any mail at all

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By *parrow77Man
over a year ago

cheshire

I always write MSG don't think I've ever just sent one line for intro contact lol

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By *ick-brown27Man
over a year ago

worsley

i got a message from a guy saying nice arse fancy a blow job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so what are you into?

Hi, hows you?

Think i can help you out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i got a message from a guy saying nice arse fancy a blow job"

Thats not a bad one.

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

North Notts

we recieved a message today, it just simply said

"add me"

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Had a meet today up once n got something along lines of "driving thru cumbria could stop off n fuck u", obviously jumped at that amazing offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a meet today up once n got something along lines of "driving thru cumbria could stop off n fuck u", obviously jumped at that amazing offer

What a charmer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had a meet today up once n got something along lines of "driving thru cumbria could stop off n fuck u", obviously jumped at that amazing offer

What a charmer.

I bet your knickers were round your ankles in response to that silver tongued devil. Not!!

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"
do u guys wanna cum over 4 an hr?

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By *ick-brown27Man
over a year ago

worsley

"i got a message from a guy saying nice arse fancy a blow job

Thats not a bad one.

yeh if it was from a woman i wouldnt mind ied take it as a compliment lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one a few weeks ago and thats all it said was When lady on

xxxx

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By *punkloverCouple
over a year ago

hatfield

wanna chat ?

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By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Had one a few weeks ago and thats all it said was When lady on

xxxx"

Think that wins the prize..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one that just said, do you fancy a fuck !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had one a few weeks ago and thats all it said was When lady on

xxxx

Think that wins the prize..

Do we get an easter egg

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By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Had one a few weeks ago and thats all it said was When lady on

xxxx

Think that wins the prize..

Do we get an easter egg

Mini egg is in the post

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

[Removed by poster at 08/04/12 23:36:43]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had one a few weeks ago and thats all it said was When lady on

xxxx

Think that wins the prize..

Do we get an easter egg

Mini egg is in the post

Awwww thanks hun xxxx

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Wanna chat?

U ok?

What do you think?

Give me a chance

Pic attached

Id love to stick my tongue in your arse

Meet?

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"

LOL! it wasn't this week but you bring to mind a series of one liners I had a while back.

first one was received from a bloke at 3am one saturday (I'd come back from a night out and logged in) - it said:

"DO U LIKE 2 SUK COCK" (it was in caps)

I replied.......

"I'd love to, but everytime I try I end up injuring my back"

.....he didn't get it

Aaaaanyway ... a day later I get a message from a "couple", who, as chance would have it, had been on the site for over a year but had only managed a single verification ........ from the same bloke who had contacted me the previous night, it said (again in caps):

"DO U HAV FUCK BUDDY"

Me: Why do you ask? are you offering?

"Them": IF U WANNA FUK US U NEED FUK BUDDY

Me: Errrm I dont recollect mentioning "WANNIN 2 FUK U", if you recall it was you who contacted me

"Them": DUN WASTE R TIME, TALK IS CHEAP - U WANNA FUK US U NEED FUCKBUDDY

Me: sorry about that, my fur leotard is at the dry cleaners and I've sent my club away to be polished - so as much as I'd like to find a FUCKBUDDY, come and visit you in your cave and sit around grunting with you two I think I'll have to pass.

it was probably my loss

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

"Wanna chat?

U ok?

What do you think?

Give me a chance

Pic attached

Id love to stick my tongue in your arse

Meet?

ok - I'm going to have to fess up to sending number 9

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By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

it was probably my loss

Brilliant. We need to let you in on 'the game'. When we get messages like that, we send them a series of messages aimed at getting them slowly more and more wound up until they block us. It often involves sending their messages back to them in correct grammar. Doesn't take long before they go mental, haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it was probably my loss

We do the same its great sport

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

it was probably my loss

you mean *IT* doesnt take them long before they go mental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it was probably my loss

love it!!!!!

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

had two classics today!!

hi i am **** love to fuck the arse of you and make you cum hope you mail back

and no I didn't reply!

and 2nd one: any meet today?

just replied ... no!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got one of those 'cut and paste' jobbies today... it was toe curlingly bad, amongst it was something about wanting to 'touch my flower'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had one that said "what about something a bit different for your missus, how would you like an Asian guy to pick her up in his car fuck her then bring her home"

Us: "what's different about that?

Him: "what do you mean?"

Us: "errrrrm if you hadn't noticed jay is Asian"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yesterday we received this message from a single guy:

"U ok can u help me find fuck buddy ?"

What are the worst one liners you've received this week?"
I've never sent that one but would you help me? How about if I asked REALY NICELY? xx

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I had this last week....

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I think their keyboard was broken...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No Thanks, You are not our type."

I get that alot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got one of those 'cut and paste' jobbies today... it was toe curlingly bad, amongst it was something about wanting to 'touch my flower'

"
well if were honest we wouldnt mind tip toeing through ya tulips hunny lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one that springs to mind was

"would love to cum over those tits"

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By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

Can you bring some womens knickers so i can cum all over them for you.

Sadly that means i would have had to rob a line ir nip to Primark as well as then pop to the launderette to wash them. Dont know why i didnt reply!!!!!

See us single guys get some gems as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We had one that said "what about something a bit different for your missus, how would you like an Asian guy to pick her up in his car fuck her then bring her home"

Us: "what's different about that?

Him: "what do you mean?"

Us: "errrrrm if you hadn't noticed jay is

Asian""

Pmsl

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By *tguyforuMan
over a year ago

forest gate

Well..every one are talking against single men..it's not fair....do you ever experience continuous rejection when he tried so hard to type in messages for ll his favourite profile..at some point all his typing skills will give up...Bcz most of couple or women reject single guys..well they just state that in tere profile..

He tried lot then...he would have came to a state where applying single line message to 80 to 90 applicant a day may get him one lead ...for sure...it's not wrong with him...it's how ppl treat him....

Pheww to much talk. Back to subject

Any one wana fun near London :w

8- )

. Mixed state...

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By *weet DevilMan
over a year ago

dukinfield

i host partys and one tosser sent the following message !!

can i come and shove carrotts up the womens cunts !

i cannot begin to write my obnoxious reply i sent to the moron who sent this ! but if we ever meet it wont be a carrott i stick up his jacksy it would be a rocket !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well..every one are talking against single men..it's not fair....do you ever experience continuous rejection when he tried so hard to type in messages for ll his favourite profile..at some point all his typing skills will give up...Bcz most of couple or women reject single guys..well they just state that in tere profile..

Pheww to much talk. Back to subject

Any one wana fun near London :w

8- )

. Mixed state..."

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"i host partys and one tosser sent the following message !!

can i come and shove carrotts up the womens cunts ! !!"

sorry but that really made me laugh

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By *r-MissCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

This week our one liners have been

I am him - we ignored this

Xxx

Me - with cock pic attached

Do you want a big cock? - replied with "no our hens are fine on their own" which he ignored.

Normally get "hi how r u?" I just don't know why some guys even bother as we just delete and block.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

worst one! "In Blackpooltoday cud fuck u"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i host partys and one tosser sent the following message !!

can i come and shove carrotts up the womens cunts !

i cannot begin to write my obnoxious reply i sent to the moron who sent this ! but if we ever meet it wont be a carrott i stick up his jacksy it would be a rocket !!"

LOLOLOL!

It takes all sorts......

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By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

it was probably my loss

you mean *IT* doesnt take them long before they go mental

well played sir...block.. :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got a message this morning, it simply said "fancy some?"

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By *sprey6Man
over a year ago

Here!

well do you lol!!!!!!

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I got "Fuk this afternoon"

Ok, nothing TOO unusual about that one..

Except he sent it around 3pm ... and he was in plymouth. (and I'm in Glasgow).

Really should have replied and asked if he was providing a supersonic jet too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well do you lol!!!!!!

I wasnt totally sure what he was offering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Come and fuck my ass with your strapon so I need to wear nappies for the rest of my life.

From a guy!

Obviously I didn't reply lol x

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By *eaboMan
over a year ago

marden

sorry, but i have read and re-read this thread and i cannot find anything wrong with the messages you lot are recieving.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I think this youth had had a drink, because it was sent late one Saturday night.

'Are you a man or a woman?'

My reply - 'a bloke who dresses as a woman.'

His next gem, 'so, do you have a dick?'

He should either take more water with it, or go to specsavers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had one earlier that just said " u wanna fuk? " about the best one ive had so far xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

one that made me laugh the most was a message that said

fancy going halfs on a bastard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this youth had had a drink, because it was sent late one Saturday night.

'Are you a man or a woman?'

My reply - 'a bloke who dresses as a woman.'

His next gem, 'so, do you have a dick?'

He should either take more water with it, or go to specsavers

was his third line

are them tits real?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-"

Welcome back!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-"

i have had a few messages on here asking if im into dogs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-

i have had a few messages on here asking if im into dogs

"Yeah I'd do you after 5 pints"...my response was "and i wouldnt even do you if you gave me a date rape drug"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had "I'm an adult baby, want to breast feed me?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

forgot the best one "wona fuck u like me mum"

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-

i have had a few messages on here asking if im into dogs

i never have...must be some right of initiation i missed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Has to be.... Do you like animals dogs WHAT !!!

Reply fuck off you sick cunt

* cReepS roUnD cRypt * -l-

i have had a few messages on here asking if im into dogs

i never have...must be some right of initiation i missed!

funniest one i ever had was a guy who asked me if i was into dogs so i said no but feel free to carry on if your into dog fucking to which he repied, and i swear to god this is true, fuck off im not having a dog fuck me im not gay you sicko

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Outfuckingstanding!!!

and yet so true .... I remember the last time I was getting shagged by schnauzer and thought to myself - My god! this is just so gay!

You know, cos that was the first thing you'd think about right?

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By *ittenandthepirate OP Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

It's all about the hippos for me! :D

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By *AR1987Man
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

""No Thanks, You are not our type."

I get that alot.

Funny you should say that....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got up this morning, though forgive me I didn't open it, just clicked to delete without reading but it was something on the lines of :-

u want a good pumping you nawty girl?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Outfuckingstanding!!!

and yet so true .... I remember the last time I was getting shagged by schnauzer and thought to myself - My god! this is just so gay!

You know, cos that was the first thing you'd think about right?"

I used to be on a supposed social network site and once got asked if I was into k9, didn't even know what it was, had to ask him, yuk

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

I used to be on a supposed social network site and once got asked if I was into k9, didn't even know what it was, had to ask him, yuk

Something to do with Dr Who?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had one at the weekend saying "have you been eating lots of easter eggs lol"

wtf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got one which just said

'Am passing through. Can fuck you at 1pm'

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

"We had one that said "what about something a bit different for your missus, how would you like an Asian guy to pick her up in his car fuck her then bring her home"

Us: "what's different about that?

Him: "what do you mean?"

Us: "errrrrm if you hadn't noticed jay is Asian""

That is brilliant!!! Lol

We have never had a one liner...

Maybe something to do with having single guys blocked on our profile. (That's not an invite and yes we also know that not all single fella's are like that)

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