FabSwingers.com forum: One of You Doesn't Like One Half of Another Couple

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I wonder how often this happens. You or your partner really likes another couple, but your partner doesn't like the one they would play with. This happens to us sometimes. Often, I will see a really hot woman, but her hubby is bi, and that ends it for me. Not judging, just not my, or my spouses, thing. We will play with another couple if the woman is bi. What say you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finding a couple where I fancy both of em is bloody hard work, tbh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm confused, if the other guys bi why would you not play if you'd already said your not interested. I'm bi but if I played with a couple and the lady wasn't bi or bi curious I wouldn't think oh hang on she'll change her mind in the heat of the moment, so what is a bi guy any different? I have lots of bi male friends and if they play with a couple where the other guy is straight, then they respect.

As for us playing with a couple and one of us not feeling it for one of them , then we don't play.

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By *illybare partyMan
over a year ago

norh east

All the bloody time haha. Myself and my partner have very diffent tastes

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Finding a couple where I fancy both of em is bloody hard work, tbh! "

Seems to be quite common!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My other half is bi but it's not a prerequisite and he certainly doesn't expect it, we have it sometimes as well. Just dynamics i suppose x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm confused, if the other guys bi why would you not play if you'd already said your not interested. I'm bi but if I played with a couple and the lady wasn't bi or bi curious I wouldn't think oh hang on she'll change her mind in the heat of the moment, so what is a bi guy any different? I have lots of bi male friends and if they play with a couple where the other guy is straight, then they respect.

As for us playing with a couple and one of us not feeling it for one of them , then we don't play. "

That's the thing, we won't even begin to play if the male is bi. Just not attractive to us. I have no doubt they would be respectful, and I have spoken with many who said they would "play straight." Still, it's a no for us. Like I said, not judging, just personally a turn off. There are plenty of others they can play with, they don't need us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh we prefer singles, I find couples complicated.

Iv met about 3/4 couples we have had a blast with but i find the women shut it down

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them."

Lol, not worried about any of that. More worried I can't get it up in their presence! Just my preference, not disparaging them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Makes sense about singles. I'm a little surprised that it's the women that shut it down.

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By *ittlemisssassypantsCouple
over a year ago

South East Wales

"Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them.

Lol, not worried about any of that. More worried I can't get it up in their presence! Just my preference, not disparaging them.

Gonna throw a spanner in the works now...what if they don’t divulge that they’re bi, like if you’re at a party/club and there’s group stuff happening, and you find out afterwards?

Not being pedantic btw, just nosey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them.

Lol, not worried about any of that. More worried I can't get it up in their presence! Just my preference, not disparaging them.

Gonna throw a spanner in the works now...what if they don’t divulge that they’re bi, like if you’re at a party/club and there’s group stuff happening, and you find out afterwards?

Not being pedantic btw, just nosey

Lol, never thought about that! I suppose I'd stick with personal meets only after that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Makes sense about singles. I'm a little surprised that it's the women that shut it down.

Yes it's not my OH it's me lol...think im a bit scary

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By *dquestCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Super hard to find couples that do it for both of us! Takes quite a bit of time and effort to find those magic couples. But, if swinging was easy then everyone would do it

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Definitely harder to find couples where everyone is attracted to each other in the necessary way.. but much rather that than someone having to do something they wouldn't want to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get this and it's made even more difficult by our age gap..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's simple for us. If both of us aren't attracted to both. ( male half to female half and I the wife to both) we just leave it there. Neither of us would take one for the team.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for us. If both of us aren't attracted to both. ( male half to female half and I the wife to both) we just leave it there. Neither of us would take one for the team.

Exactly this

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By *asques and boxersCouple
over a year ago

Ashford and dept16

"Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them.

Lol, not worried about any of that. More worried I can't get it up in their presence! Just my preference, not disparaging them.

Gonna throw a spanner in the works now...what if they don’t divulge that they’re bi, like if you’re at a party/club and there’s group stuff happening, and you find out afterwards?

Not being pedantic btw, just nosey

That's despicable has happened and defo upsetting for us it wasn't nice even if the lying s..t did nothing to show it.

Lowest Scumbags going.

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By *ongueNcheek33Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

We get this alot, it's very difficult to find a 4 way attraction

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We get this alot, it's very difficult to find a 4 way attraction "

Right, the other couple both have to find you attractive, too. That's a lot of attraction that has to happen!

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Both of us have to agree before it goes any further.

It’s something we decided at the beginning.

Neither of us takes one for the team, ever.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I wonder how often this happens. You or your partner really likes another couple, but your partner doesn't like the one they would play with. This happens to us sometimes. Often, I will see a really hot woman, but her hubby is bi, and that ends it for me. Not judging, just not my, or my spouses, thing. We will play with another couple if the woman is bi. What say you?"

This is why i remain single. The thought of another man putting a stop to who i wanted to sleep with does not appeal. I would be furious if this happened.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day, it is a preference - ours are quite clearly set out in our profile. We wish people would be honest about their orientation in the first place but sadly, not everyone is. Some profiles state a guy is straight but then their pictures tell a different tale, as do some verifications. Just be honest, it saves a lot of time and aggravation!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As for us playing with a couple and one of us not feeling it for one of them , then we don't play. "

Saved us replying; this pretty much sums it up for us.

We are both bi, but neither of us has any interest in trying to seduce straight people. We play with straight couples all the time and it has never been an issue.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have seen lot of couples have single profiles as well, so I think to solve this deilma. I won't meet others if they have not preferred my partners. If I meet think about your partner, how she/he would feel? It will be humiliation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything will be brushed under a sweet term called as "preference"

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its even harder if you are pschitsophrenic ..pshitzophreic..phys....have dual personality disorder

Often like and dislike them equally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its even harder if you are pschitsophrenic ..pshitzophreic..phys....have dual personality disorder

Often like and dislike them equally

Gabriele is delicious! I have never been in his physical presence (any of them) but i know he smells awesome!

Nothing to do with thread...just saying....

Fabindians ....evening my friends xx

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

C is marked as bi curious although hes never played with a man. He just always says you never know but I've never found a man attractive.

What is it that puts you off a guy being bi??

We don't have this often but I think it happens to us a lot!! Because a lot of people just want to meet me the female. Possibly because C is a larger man I don't know!!

Usually neither of us are interested in couples one says no to. Not that weve met many from here mostly our veris our from meets at parties.

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea

"We get this alot, it's very difficult to find a 4 way attraction

Right, the other couple both have to find you attractive, too. That's a lot of attraction that has to happen!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's simple for us. If both of us aren't attracted to both. ( male half to female half and I the wife to both) we just leave it there. Neither of us would take one for the team.

Exactly this

Ditto for us also

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

We have a "safe phrase" which is totally innocuous but we both know that the other is not comfortable when its mentioned and its time for an early exit. We have only had to use 3 times. Twice with guys and once with a couple.

G&A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why i remain single. The thought of another man putting a stop to who i wanted to sleep with does not appeal. I would be furious if this happened."

Furious? You would force him to fuck someone he's not attracted to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I don't fancy them I just watch. Or no meet at all.

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By *ecrets4everCouple
over a year ago

It’s so rare that we both like a couple that we’ve almost given up looking.

Neither of us are bi, so that can also limit options.

We’ve realised that the best option is for him to find a couple who want a bull or an extra male, then that leaves me free to find a single man.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

O ooh contentious thread. Women of couples who take attraction as more important and usually has to be an architype male, as get older unless male is like fine wine and gets better with age. Guys of couples don't really care about attraction

On the flip side mist messages we get are from guys of couples. Wanting to meet them alone. Guys of couples don't generally want other male involved. So for couples the odds are stacked against you especially as we get older.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If both or either of us dont like both we dont play. Bi wise is not a prerequisite and happy to play straight

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

We prefer to meet people we can do repeat meets with. That way we don't have go through this so much!

The dream is to find a bi lady I (female) can play with regularly with the occasional threesome with C. We're not expecting to find that any time soon haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We prefer to meet people we can do repeat meets with. That way we don't have go through this so much!

The dream is to find a bi lady I (female) can play with regularly with the occasional threesome with C. We're not expecting to find that any time soon haha "

Yes, we are the same way. Not looking to shag dozens of people, would be happy with one or two consistent fwb's.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

We don’t go looking for attraction as much as, a huge personality is a win win. We want to have a laugh and enjoy the company not vein in anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We don’t go looking for attraction as much as, a huge personality is a win win. We want to have a laugh and enjoy the company not vein in anyway. "

Yes! Would rather spend time with good people than so called hot people who are full of themselves!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah it can be a lot of hard work

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah it can be a lot of hard work "

Yes, but once in a while you find gems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah it can be a lot of hard work

Yes, but once in a while you find gems.

Absolutely agree x

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

"We don’t go looking for attraction as much as, a huge personality is a win win. We want to have a laugh and enjoy the company not vein in anyway.

Yes! Would rather spend time with good people than so called hot people who are full of themselves!"

Our idea of it is laughing and debating the way home, some folks on here can stimulate you just in conversation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We prefer to meet people we can do repeat meets with. That way we don't have go through this so much!

The dream is to find a bi lady I (female) can play with regularly with the occasional threesome with C. We're not expecting to find that any time soon haha "

This seems to be the dream of many couples wanting only the lady . Get this all the time in messages. Guys both as singles or couple seem to get raw deal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get typical replies most of the time

" We like the Mrs but not the hubby, happy to play bifem "

Err blocked .

We normally see if they are reasonably attractive and in some shape ,genuine, funny and caring .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the connection isn’t there it won’t happen wether it’s physically or on a chemistry level.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We get typical replies most of the time

" We like the Mrs but not the hubby, happy to play bifem "

Err blocked .

We normally see if they are reasonably attractive and in some shape ,genuine, funny and caring .

We would never say that to someone. "We like x but not x". Rude. Just politely decline!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we was a couple of fab we would just talk together and never single someone out that’s pretty horrible even if just ‘honest’

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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"We prefer to meet people we can do repeat meets with. That way we don't have go through this so much!

The dream is to find a bi lady I (female) can play with regularly with the occasional threesome with C. We're not expecting to find that any time soon haha

This seems to be the dream of many couples wanting only the lady . Get this all the time in messages. Guys both as singles or couple seem to get raw deal

We prefer to both play as a couple but I would like some one on one play with a lady. But often get people approach us just to play with me the female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We get typical replies most of the time

" We like the Mrs but not the hubby, happy to play bifem "

Err blocked .

We normally see if they are reasonably attractive and in some shape ,genuine, funny and caring .

We would never say that to someone. "We like x but not x". Rude. Just politely decline!"

Sadly a lot don't moreover yiu get the guy trying to convince you to meet them alone. Their partner doesn't fancy yours is the usual line.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happens quite often for us....I am the one who is fussy and usually objects.

We did agree at the get go that we both had to be in agreement on both parties in the couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both have to be into the other people, maybe on different levels but we have to be into them, we don’t meet straight women because I like loads of bi play, we don’t meet bi guys as he won’t get any bi play with us, we don’t compromise and we don’t expect others to.

As for finding 4 way attraction that’s always a cop out from people who hardly play, we’ve never struggled to find 4 way attraction.

Neither of us would ever take one for the team

We would never try to get the lady from a couple to play with us alone that’s just rude and we get loads of FFM meets with single ladies anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bit bizarre that you’ll play with a bi women, when you’re straight, but not a bi guy...are bi men less trusting? Are you worried that he might try and slip it in if you get too close

As for question, if one of us isn’t feeling one of the couple then we don’t play with them.

Lol, not worried about any of that. More worried I can't get it up in their presence! Just my preference, not disparaging them.

Gonna throw a spanner in the works now...what if they don’t divulge that they’re bi, like if you’re at a party/club and there’s group stuff happening, and you find out afterwards?

Not being pedantic btw, just nosey

That's despicable has happened and defo upsetting for us it wasn't nice even if the lying s..t did nothing to show it.

Lowest Scumbags going."

How is that a lowest scum bag going thing? From what I understand from what you’ve put in reply to the point, you played with someone in a club, who didn’t play bi, and didn’t give the impression he was. So he hasn’t tried it on or touched your male inappropriately. You have since found out he’s bi so that is a disgusting scumbag thing to do. Why? Why should someone declare they are bi? It’s not their fault some people are bigots. If you asked him and he said he was straight, then he is a liar which is wrong, but hardly makes someone a scumbag. If you didn’t ask him and are now slagging him off for your mistake then perhaps it’s you who are the scumbags... perhaps you should have declared to him and everyone else in the club that you don’t play with bi guys, to give everyone the option to chose to play with people with your opinions.

From our point of view, as long as someone is honest about their sexuality, we would have no qualms playing with no males or females. As long as nobody crosses any boundaries, we play safe with everyone. If we found out they had lied about their sexuality to get a meet, we’d be disappointed but we could understand the reasons behind it. We would then decide if we carry on or never meet again.

As for the attraction part, it is frustrating at times I would never force her to play with a guy just so I could with the woman, but we wouldn’t have got to a point where that would happen as we normally would have discussed discretely before the point of no return.

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By *delmaltaCouple
over a year ago

London

Very difficult that everyone likes everyone. Threesomes or group sex makes it simpler.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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