FabSwingers.com forum: Staying safe as a woman

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The other thread similar to this made me think about this. How do women ensure they are safe?

Obv meet socially first, but what other steps do you take?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The other thread similar to this made me think about this. How do women ensure they are safe?

Obv meet socially first, but what other steps do you take? "

I always take a photo of thenumber plate and send it to someone close and let someone know where im staying.

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By *i de BiCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

We had a single girl over and she rang her friend to say she was ok & again when she left

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

Meet socially and not treat it as a precursor to anything else. Establish a connection via talking. Go to parties together. Maybe meet alone if that is what both parties want.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Have a safety person and tell them everything you know about the person, have them check in on you at a prearranged time. Social first always.

If you have any doubts at all, double and triple check them. Rather than backing off at red flags, back off before they get that far.

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By *rsTrellisWoman
over a year ago

Cambridge

Say no to something (anything) and see how they take it.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Leave a note at home with contact details, where, when etc, when expected back, FAB open on computer.

No necklaces, scarves, tights/stockings

If you go to theirs, make an excuse to rummage in your bag as they shut the door and follow them into the house, to make sure they don't double lock the door

Spare clothes in car and shoes I can run in

No substances - alcohol or drugs

If you decide to stay longer, tell someone

Follow basic steps from the Suzie Lampu website

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

"The other thread similar to this made me think about this. How do women ensure they are safe?

Obv meet socially first, but what other steps do you take? "

If you are in any doubt whatsoever, Stay Away!

Tell someone where you are going, meet in a public place.

Lots of advice on police websites.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

"The other thread similar to this made me think about this. How do women ensure they are safe?

Obv meet socially first, but what other steps do you take? "

if he has an axe in the boot don't get in the car.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Say no to something (anything) and see how they take it. "

Ooh yes, very much this.

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London

Not that I meet all that often but I’ve been doing this for ten years and never had a problem in my own home, someone else's or at a club but then again I’m not what I call a ‘random shagger’, I prefer my encounters carefully considered, even in clubs, I don’t enjoy a free for all.

Always a coffee social first then I take it from there, instinct plays a massive part in my decision making.

The worst part of meeting being in a house that’s not mine is the toilet, sheets and bathroom are not always my standard of clean!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Great advice. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I see a woman taking precautions eg messaging a friend, I like it because it means that she's smart. Intelligence is sexy.

I'm certainly not offended and I think that if any man was annoyed by you being careful, then you should see that as a big warning sign and leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After it all going wrong on me some years ago I no longer meet. I just play in clubs.

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By *_Yeah19Couple
over a year ago

Lincoln

I used to tell a male friend who was a policeman who I was meeting and where I was going.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Say no to something (anything) and see how they take it. "

Great advice, used effectively to out a massive nob today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take a photo of the house too and send on to a friend. Pics are geotagged too.

And sort out your phone cascade so that your fab safety person has a real life friend’s phone number to ring if the worst happens.

I liked the ‘say no’ recommendation. Will remember that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Leave a note at home with contact details, where, when etc, when expected back, FAB open on computer.

No necklaces, scarves, tights/stockings

If you go to theirs, make an excuse to rummage in your bag as they shut the door and follow them into the house, to make sure they don't double lock the door

Spare clothes in car and shoes I can run in

No substances - alcohol or drugs

If you decide to stay longer, tell someone

Follow basic steps from the Suzie Lampu website

If i felt i had to take this level of precaution i wouldn’t meet at all

On the other hand ... on a non fab date a few weeks ago where i wasn't really feeling it anymore and made that clear before it went to far, it did occur to me that had he been inclined to over power me he could have done so very easily just due to size and strength compared with me ... i guess its just about getting a decent feel for people before you put yourself in a vulnerable situation but you can never know for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some great advice and I think even the men should take on board some of the things mentioned as you never know what you could be walking into. I personally think your gut instinct is the best advice you can follow and if it's a spur of the moment and you're not in a position to let anyone know where you are or where you're going then at least when you turn up just say I'm just messaging my friend to let him know I got hear safe and if that seems to be a problem turn around and walk away and at least they'll be thinking someone know where you are. I would like to think when I'm meeting someone for the first time thay would be at ease and comfortable and if having a friend drop the off or a phone call to someone on arrival helps that then am all for it

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