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Friend With Benefits: To Bareback or Not To Bareback? That is The Question

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By *ocoTemptation OP   Man
over a year ago

london

Here’s the question that I have asked in my latest Twitter poll

Got or want a Friend With Benefits. If so do you or would you play bareback with that person?

a) No, as a swinger it’s a logistical nightmare.

b) Yes its one of the perks of having a special friend.

c) No because it risks creating an emotional bond and that ruins things.

d) Makes no difference to me, I always play bareback.

What would your answer be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me any "unprotected" sex would be with long term partners only.

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

..

No because it’s not safe. As a swinger presumably you’re hoping to meet others. Is it fair to risk their sexual health? Maybe you’re planning on telling them?

It’s a no from me I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone that was either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of a mix of b and c.

So if I'm exclusive with a regular partner then absolutely it's bare play (post testing).

If I'm with a regular partner and we meet others but I can trust they are safe with them then again bare is considered.

I personally do think going bare creates a special bond for me so I do think that it's not necessarily a good thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fab fwb? No way!

A proper fwb? Consider it on merit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No because it’s not safe. As a swinger presumably you’re hoping to meet others. Is it fair to risk their sexual health? Maybe you’re planning on telling them?

It’s a no from me I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone that was either. "

I’m with Babs, safe sex always even if it is long term partner, risks are far too high

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only with those I absolutely trust

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By *ohemianangelWoman
over a year ago

cannock

I have a long term best friend with benefits and it’s always bareback as we both use condoms with others

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

Surely it depends on your definition of friends with benefits. I've known too many people say that and actually what they mean is 'regular hook up with someone I only spend time with for sex'

Your inclusion of talking about it possibly leading to an emotional bond would make me assume you mean hook up as opposed to what I view as friends with benefits. Which is someone who is very much a friend, with who there is an emotional attachment, someone I spend time with that doesn't involve just bumping uglies.

That kind of friendship would then possibly lead to a fluid bonded relationship. Provided tests were clean. Ground rules were set and any other fluid bonded partners were in agreement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love a lady to be friends for meets chats and if it goes further happy days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would love a lady to be friends for meets chats and if it goes further happy days. Bareback if mutual agreed otherwise no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

A every time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes in general

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By *icknBrainCouple
over a year ago

Hyde

Lizzie and me bb with each other only. We don't play with others on our own ever so we have full trust with each other's cleanliness it's a privilege she allows only me !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "

Thank you for sharing the reality of Fab Chaos!

Your experience only approves what everybody subconsciously feels and thinks about health and life.

I personally already know (primarily without any bad personal experience) what people are capable of and almost all of them not being responsible to anybody even to their everyday partners, they have put meaningless pleasure above other persons health and life, simply they do not think, horrible. Also their disrespect is horrendous.

Thanks for sharing. Hope you are well now but mentally it just sickening me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here’s the question that I have asked in my latest Twitter poll

Got or want a Friend With Benefits. If so do you or would you play bareback with that person?

a) No, as a swinger it’s a logistical nightmare.

b) Yes its one of the perks of having a special friend.

c) No because it risks creating an emotional bond and that ruins things.

d) Makes no difference to me, I always play bareback.

What would your answer be?

"

e) How the fuck do I snag an FWB in the first place?

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich


"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "

Chlamydia can lay dormant in your system for up to 8 years during which time it won’t show up on a test apparently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We must be thankful that people open up and share such experience. The more the better.

Also about all lying experiences as well and how to filter them.

I imagine how many people consciously hide this information just for one reason, to get sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A for me

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By *elrose57Couple
over a year ago

reading


"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "

that must have been terrible, for you, after all you must have been very close to the other guy to have unprotected sex, and after it all came out and you stopped seeing him, like you said it was not yours or his fault yet you have both missed out on a good sex life, and that was down to his partner, shame he did not get rid of her and got cleaned up and carried on,

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We would like it to be B, but you cannot be too careful, so its A.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "

And this is why we swerve anyone who even hints that they might consider playing bare, the risks are too great.

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By *hatawasteMan
over a year ago

stafford

I would say it should be option b .. On the condition you all agree to regular testing and prove it ..otherwise overcoats, golves, and jackets all round ! .. crazy not to IMHO

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone asked me this question just this week and I said no because I know that I wouldn’t BB with anyone else but I don’t know about him and I am not about to have sleepless nights worrying if he is protecting himself with other people. The best way is either stop meeting if he wants someone to BB with or we continue to use protection.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

No,only with Jack

You don't know who else they play that way with,so only way to take responsibility for your health is to use protection.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No BB for me except with my hubby. Was with my ex swinging partner for 2+ years and we still used condoms. I trusted him completely, zero risk of pregnancy.

So for reason C I still played safe. He had his reasons too which may have been different.

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By *ocoTemptation OP   Man
over a year ago

london


"Surely it depends on your definition of friends with benefits. I've known too many people say that and actually what they mean is 'regular hook up with someone I only spend time with for sex'

Your inclusion of talking about it possibly leading to an emotional bond would make me assume you mean hook up as opposed to what I view as friends with benefits. Which is someone who is very much a friend, with who there is an emotional attachment, someone I spend time with that doesn't involve just bumping uglies.

That kind of friendship would then possibly lead to a fluid bonded relationship. Provided tests were clean. Ground rules were set and any other fluid bonded partners were in agreement. "

My approach historically and that of my FWB has been to keep an open mind to the possibility of things developing into an actual relationship.

Over the years the three times I went bareback with my trusted FWB of the time a relationship did develop. So I was wondering what other peoples experiences may have been.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even during a long term 'exclusive' FB relationship, it was always safe sex for me

No matter how well you know someone you can never be 100% that they haven't played with someone else and not mentioned it to you...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Even during a long term 'exclusive' FB relationship, it was always safe sex for me

No matter how well you know someone you can never be 100% that they haven't played with someone else and not mentioned it to you..."

'FB' relationship. If that's what it was how come you were exclusive? That's unusual isn't it?

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By *aisy6Woman
over a year ago

bath

B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. You can never be too careful.

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By *ants cockWoman
over a year ago

lincoln

This thread just proves why I never go bareback. People thinking their vanilla fuck buddies are cleaner than their fab ones.

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By *irlintheRedRed dressWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow

What people say they do on Fab and what they actually do are very different. Loads of people play bb on here,you only have to look at the pics/videos for evidence of this.

I have a fuck buddy of nearly two years. He would love to fuck without a condom but the one time we did I immediately regretted it as I dont trust him to be responsible about playing safe with others.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

Does bareback actually increase the emotional bond though?

I think there has to be more than physical attraction and bareback for an emotional bond to occur, but I always play safe with fab meets.

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

Just play with the fwb then bareback isn't an issue.

If still playing with others safe all the way

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By *iamondCougarWoman
over a year ago

Norfuck! / Lincolnshire


"Kind of a mix of b and c.

So if I'm exclusive with a regular partner then absolutely it's bare play (post testing).

If I'm with a regular partner and we meet others but I can trust they are safe with them then again bare is considered.

I personally do think going bare creates a special bond for me so I do think that it's not necessarily a good thing "

In a nutshell ^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask them first to them

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