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"I think the issue is some people get frustrated if they don't fit what the person is interested in. Also a lot mistake NSA as "I will shag anyone". I get guys getting funny or occasionally rude because I delete or ignore their message even though my profile is clear. " I guess it's just part and parcel of such a site  | |||
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"I think the issue is some people get frustrated if they don't fit what the person is interested in. Also a lot mistake NSA as "I will shag anyone". I get guys getting funny or occasionally rude because I delete or ignore their message even though my profile is clear. I guess it's just part and parcel of such a site "But that's the point, it shouldn't be. I assume that most of the people that are rude or persistent would not behave in such a way if I ignored or rejected their advances in person. People seem to think that social norms don't apply to interaction on line. | |||
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"I think the issue is some people get frustrated if they don't fit what the person is interested in. Also a lot mistake NSA as "I will shag anyone". I get guys getting funny or occasionally rude because I delete or ignore their message even though my profile is clear. I guess it's just part and parcel of such a site
But that's the point, it shouldn't be. I assume that most of the people that are rude or persistent would not behave in such a way if I ignored or rejected their advances in person. People seem to think that social norms don't apply to interaction on line. "agree it should not be... | |||
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"I think the issue is some people get frustrated if they don't fit what the person is interested in. Also a lot mistake NSA as "I will shag anyone". ... " 
The ones who cry about hoops don't give a shit about what that person wants, they just want to fuck them.
OP don't feel bad about the ones whining about hoops. You're not compatible. Their whining has saved you wasting time meeting them. See it as a positive.  | |||
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"I think the issue is some people get frustrated if they don't fit what the person is interested in. Also a lot mistake NSA as "I will shag anyone". ...
The ones who cry about hoops don't give a shit about what that person wants, they just want to fuck them.
OP don't feel bad about the ones whining about hoops. You're not compatible. Their whining has saved you wasting time meeting them. See it as a positive. "This!! | |||
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"The other misconception I’ve seen a lot of is ‘box-ticking’. As in ‘I tick all your boxes why won’t you have sex with me’. Many people don’t seem to understand that these are baseline criteria and beyond that there needs to be an attraction." oh another one i get often too ...why not ive ticked all your boxes we match ...yep up until the point you send a face pic and start typing a porn scrip ... ive unticked all my boxes now barr cuckolding seems to have stop that to some degree .... for the life of me you dare not tick the anal box oh no | |||
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... " ??? but if that person has to jump through hoops then he is contacting the wrong people ?? as they are not matching ?? everyone meet with there own terns but its about matching terms nothing selfish about that and im afraid that is swinging no one is just going to lay back and say yeah just fuck me we dont match but hey just carry on ???... my rules are the same on my single account as they are on our joint account and the same rules we've had for the last 25 yrs of swinging ..sorry but i aint desperate to fuck anyone lol never | |||
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"If people don't read my profile then get arsey when I say no thanks, the problem is with them, not me. " That is more than I do, I ignore them if they have not read my profile which many clearly have not. | |||
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... ??? but if that person has to jump through hoops then he is contacting the wrong people ?? as they are not matching ?? everyone meet with there own terns but its about matching terms nothing selfish about that and im afraid that is swinging no one is just going to lay back and say yeah just fuck me we dont match but hey just carry on ???... my rules are the same on my single account as they are on our joint account and the same rules we've had for the last 25 yrs of swinging ..sorry but i aint desperate to fuck anyone lol never" This!!
These so called hoops are only in the “jumpers” mind!!
Everyone has the right to expectations and wants if someone doesn’t meet that then in my case they’re not a match, and a guy trying to meet those wants and expectations will always feel like he’s jumping through hoops but that’s not what anyone wants.
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... ??? but if that person has to jump through hoops then he is contacting the wrong people ?? as they are not matching ?? everyone meet with there own terns but its about matching terms nothing selfish about that and im afraid that is swinging no one is just going to lay back and say yeah just fuck me we dont match but hey just carry on ???... my rules are the same on my single account as they are on our joint account and the same rules we've had for the last 25 yrs of swinging ..sorry but i aint desperate to fuck anyone lol never" A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” | |||
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... " This is illogical Captain
For all involved to meet on mutual terms each individual’s terms must first be met. | |||
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" A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” " A reply but no need to decend into sarcasm. Why would two or more people meet in the the first place if they were not mutually happy to? Once both are happy to, based on profiles and communications, how would either need to jump through anything? | |||
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" A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” " Then why is the person whose requirements that aren’t being taking into account equally even wanting to meet the other person?? | |||
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" A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” Then why is the person whose requirements that aren’t being taking into account equally even wanting to meet the other person?? " Because some people are desperate.... | |||
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" Then why is the person whose requirements that aren’t being taking into account equally even wanting to meet the other person?? " Exactly. | |||
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"A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” " lol ok lol but thats just common sense because once a meet is agreed that is what happens alway its equal but think your missing the whole point this is about someone looking at your profile and saying im not jumping through hoops not after a meet has been agreed ... and why the snottyness its only a discussion | |||
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" Then why is the person whose requirements that aren’t being taking into account equally even wanting to meet the other person?? Because some people are desperate...." Right!! So why should people with standards lower them for the desperate people??? | |||
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" Because some people are desperate...." This is true, though that is their own issue. If they choose to change who/how they are just to try and get sex then that’s up to them. It’s not the fault of the people that know what they do and do not want. And have stated it clearly on their profile. | |||
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"I think the main issue of this site is now most single guys on here are not genuine swingers, just guys trying to save £20 on a prostitute. Comparing fab to when we first joined in 2012 it’s way more hard work to find the genuine swingers. " I’ve been here since 2012, only allow single guys to message me and absolutely nothing has changed. | |||
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"I think the main issue of this site is now most single guys on here are not genuine swingers, just guys trying to save £20 on a prostitute. Comparing fab to when we first joined in 2012 it’s way more hard work to find the genuine swingers. I’ve been here since 2012, only allow single guys to message me and absolutely nothing has changed." Perhaps in your area but there has definitely been an influx of single guys in our area that aren’t genuine swingers. | |||
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"Perhaps in your area but there has definitely been an influx of single guys in our area that aren’t genuine swingers. " Yes they are here as well, but always have been. Using Fab successfully is more about learning to filter them out, rather than worry about the volume of them. Anyway, we are totally off the OP’s topic | |||
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"Perhaps in your area but there has definitely been an influx of single guys in our area that aren’t genuine swingers. Yes they are here as well, but always have been. Using Fab successfully is more about learning to filter them out, rather than worry about the volume of them. Anyway, we are totally off the OP’s topic "A quick “if you see us in a club say hi” puts 90% off | |||
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"Because some people are desperate...." Looking at it a different way, I do not meet couples. You do not meet straight women. Therefore neither of us would ever even dream of meeting, and correctly so. That’s the situation over before it even starts. Now, if I were to start complaining that to meet you I’d have to “jump through hoops” that would be wrong of me, That is what the OP is taking about. Not anything to do with an actual meet. Where selfishness is not good. Unless that’s some kind of part of the play of course | |||
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"Anyway, we are totally off the OP’s topic
A quick “if you see us in a club say hi” puts 90% off "Attending swinging clubs is not a legal requirement to be a ‘genuine’ swinger  | |||
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... ??? but if that person has to jump through hoops then he is contacting the wrong people ?? as they are not matching ?? everyone meet with there own terns but its about matching terms nothing selfish about that and im afraid that is swinging no one is just going to lay back and say yeah just fuck me we dont match but hey just carry on ???... my rules are the same on my single account as they are on our joint account and the same rules we've had for the last 25 yrs of swinging ..sorry but i aint desperate to fuck anyone lol never" Absolutely. I don’t eat certain foods so I won’t eat in certain restaurants. Does that make it simpler? You don’t hear all the restaurants complaining because I don’t eat burgers or curries. The same applies to our sexual preferences. I do agree that if people think they are jumping though hoops to meet someone then they aren’t compatible and they should move on. I’ve left restaurants because there’s nothing on the menu I’d eat. I can’t force myself to like something. | |||
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"I use the word or pfrase jumping through hoops on my profile, I see on some profiles 'demands''hoops' guys do certain things. Folk have contacted me (Its their profile so their choice) to ask for certain things if I consider them ott, nope, find someone else. " You seem to have nice hoops  | |||
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"Jumping through hoops is a term bandied around on here and rightly so, many people have so many rules and regulations it’s ridiculous, people who are only looking to meet on their own terms rather than mutual terms of everyone involved is just selfish and making people jump through hoops to meet, that’s not swinging... ??? but if that person has to jump through hoops then he is contacting the wrong people ?? as they are not matching ?? everyone meet with there own terns but its about matching terms nothing selfish about that and im afraid that is swinging no one is just going to lay back and say yeah just fuck me we dont match but hey just carry on ???... my rules are the same on my single account as they are on our joint account and the same rules we've had for the last 25 yrs of swinging ..sorry but i aint desperate to fuck anyone lol never" | |||
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"I think the main issue of this site is now most single guys on here are not genuine swingers, just guys trying to save £20 on a prostitute. Comparing fab to when we first joined in 2012 it’s way more hard work to find the genuine swingers. " I agree partly the whole scene and ethos has changed over the 20 years + been on the scene. Yes guys come on here looking for free sex and moan when they don't get it. But the term swinging is an umbrella term for many different facets - so to say just because you're not on here and for the same thing, you're not a swinger. What give me angst is when you get rude messages from couples when the say "your not a genuine swinger, what you doing here" because I'm not interested by swapping have no interest and not prepared to sum into bed with them. Have bitter messages from females also just not intested in their partner. | |||
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" A response but actually your retort misses our point completely, maybe a simplified version would help? Swinging is a two way mutual liaison, if one person has to comply with specific requirements of the other and not have there own requirements taken EQUALLY into account then in effect they are “jumping through hoops” A reply but no need to decend into sarcasm. Why would two or more people meet in the the first place if they were not mutually happy to? Once both are happy to, based on profiles and communications, how would either need to jump through anything?" | |||
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