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Ladies have too much choice!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Sorry you've had a bad experience, hope next time is better.

I don't think women having too much choice causes bad manners though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not replying/deleting isn’t bad manners.

It’s simply another form of filtering.

If she doesn’t reply and your message is deleted, she’s not interested. Have a look at the FAQ’s.

It’s not that we have too much choice, but rather too many messages, even with filters they can be overwhelming. Still, if someone’s not interested, just move on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

If I reply no thank you, I often get pestered or abused. The idea that manners cost nothing is nonsense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

But how does a “No thanks” benefit you anymore than a deleted message?

I’m sure some women on here will vouch that sending “No thanks” opens some up to send more messages such as “Why” “Give me a try” or abuse. It’s far easier to delete who doesn’t interest you.

Maybe you should try deleting your sent messages, atleast then it’s a nice surprise if you get a reply, and you won’t see (Deleted) which seems to bother you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

Most women get well over 100 messages a day. Imagine replying to all those. And then receiving nasty replies back when you do. It’s not worth the unnecessary potential abuse so if I’m not interested I don’t bother. Shame for the genuine ones but that’s the way it is unfortunately. Don’t take it personally.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

And even if I didn't get pestered or abused, why do I owe people the work/ admin that that many messages would entail?

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By *r FirecrackerMan
over a year ago

London

A friend of mine on here gets 100s of messages, she can’t reply to them all even if it is a polite no thank you. Her no thank you is deleting the message, she states this on her profile. Try not to take it personally Op, you are one person in a huge pool of people. Genuine people stand out, if you are struggling try visiting on a club/social event.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was previously on POF, sad to say, but fellas get more respect on there, initially I thought Fab was meant to be more of a more grown up version for meeting new people, but for me it’s sadly turned out quite frustrating, I’ve been on here over two years, think it’s time I finally parted company, I appreciate the feedback tho guys x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women don’t have enough choice!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Don't take deletion as lack of respect. It isn't personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And even if I didn't get pestered or abused, why do I owe people the work/ admin that that many messages would entail? "

Absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take it personal, let it go fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could not say no thank you to all the messages I'm not interested in. It's not bad manners. It's not having the time.

Frustrating that when I tried that initially I got bombarded with why nots and abuse. Deleting is the easiest way to deal with it though even that sometimes leads to messages pointing out to me that I've deleted that person's message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually when you reply no thanks, they try to continue the conversation, so have found it best to delete, even though it seems rude. Also if someone can’t be bothered to send you a decent first message there’s not much point in replying.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Although it can be frustrating when a carefully crafted message is just deleted, the points women make about being inundated are sadly very valid. However, I much prefer the certainty that a deleted message gives, to those that don't get read at all. I can treat a deleted message as "not interested", but an unread one could easily have been missed. And then comes the "do I resend" dilemma...

What we need is more women on the site to even the numbers up, but I suspect I'll be waiting a very long time for that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I could not say no thank you to all the messages I'm not interested in. It's not bad manners. It's not having the time.

Frustrating that when I tried that initially I got bombarded with why nots and abuse. Deleting is the easiest way to deal with it though even that sometimes leads to messages pointing out to me that I've deleted that person's message "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was brought up to respect people, when a lady says no Thankyou, I always reply with good luck finding what your looking for, don’t know whether I’m being too nice, which brings me to another issue! Ha ha, Why don’t Ladies like a nice guy? I personally am always respectful, good looking fella, GSOH, clean & tidy, not clingy, just enjoy meeting new people & pleasuring a lovely lady, but that doesn’t seem to be enough, any advice & tips will be taken on board x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x"

Wow just read your status update, that's really bad and i would hope that most of us ladies wouldn't dream this was acceptable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

Try being on a female profile for a week and see how you go with replying to every message and juggling normal life

Plus replying is open to abuse and people getting whingy and asking why

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By *otlovefun42Couple
over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

In the real world you are right. Manners do cost nothing.

However quite often in the FAB world manners do have a cost, usually in the form of time, grief, abuse, or all three.

A "no thanks" regularly produces a "why not?" It can occasionally produce something a lot stronger.

Also when (as is usually the case) someone fires a message at us when they have obviously not had the good manners to read our profile beforehand, then why the fuck should we bother to reply?

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By *ogan_198506Man
over a year ago

Hamshire/Surrey

I wouldn’t take personally. At least with it being deleted you get a definitive answer, they aren’t interested. Maybe re-think approach.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You might be, but I have no way of knowing that and have to apply a blanket rule. It's not personal, it's just how it is.

The idea that women don't like nice guys is nonsense on stilts.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I wouldn't say ladies have 'too much' choice when you rule out all those who any particular lady finds unfavourable for any number of reasons they may not be left with much choice at all

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x

Most women get well over 100 messages a day. Imagine replying to all those. And then receiving nasty replies back when you do. It’s not worth the unnecessary potential abuse so if I’m not interested I don’t bother. Shame for the genuine ones but that’s the way it is unfortunately. Don’t take it personally. "

Truth is we can’t imagine getting 100’s of messages in a day. Any guy with half a brain will realise within days of joining here the numbers and not to expect an answer. Without need to read the FAQ’s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So are you saying that an active couple who can get a 100 messages every day or single women who can get many 100s of messages every day (especially people in large population areas) should spend an hour plus every evening responding to every single one?

Some women when they have say posted new photos, meet updates etc have received 1000 messages in less than 24 hours.

Also you expect them to do what's effectively a part time admin job every single day of the year?

So what if they went on holiday for a week and then come back to 1000+ messages should they then spend their entire evening replying to them all 1 by 1?

There is no reply to all function on fab so the only way is to do them is individually.

What about the fact that the majority of these messages 95%+ simply say "Hi" "wanna fuck" etc etc. Or are ones who clearly haven't read your profile e.g no smokers only and they are a smoker?

When we do take time to reply do you realise that a minority but still a significant amount message back with why not? Or worse abuse?

What your saying is simply not logistically possible for certain users who receive large volumes of fab messages. That's why Fab Website rules clearly state a no reply is not rude! and it is to be taken as a polite no thanks for all the reasons I've mentioned above.

What I will say is the people who have sent us a considered message, have photos or have attached them, have clearly read our profile to ensure they are what we are looking for will always get a reply from us regardless of us been interested or not. However these messages make up less than 5% of what is sent to us. There rest are effectively junk mail.

KJ x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I get your blanket rule, but for me personally, it puts things to bed & I know were I stand, it’s hit & miss, like everything in life, it’s a mixed bag I suppose....... respectful people, rude people, genuine people, time wasters & window shoppers with no intention of purchasing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get your blanket rule, but for me personally, it puts things to bed & I know were I stand, it’s hit & miss, like everything in life, it’s a mixed bag I suppose....... respectful people, rude people, genuine people, time wasters & window shoppers with no intention of purchasing x"

No reply = not interested. If you go with that logic, you’ll know where you stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly op there are people on here that have no intention of meeting but act like they are and just mess people about I just block them and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get your blanket rule, but for me personally, it puts things to bed & I know were I stand, it’s hit & miss, like everything in life, it’s a mixed bag I suppose....... respectful people, rude people, genuine people, time wasters & window shoppers with no intention of purchasing x

No reply = not interested. If you go with that logic, you’ll know where you stand. "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I will start going with no reply not interested I think, I always send private pics with my messages & try & put some effort into my messages, I think that’s what’s so disheartening x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women look for Mr Right*.

Men look for Miss Right now...

*Right as in meets their requirements

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By *lienrockMan
over a year ago

Fife


"Women don’t have enough choice!"

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies "

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I get your blanket rule, but for me personally, it puts things to bed & I know were I stand, it’s hit & miss, like everything in life, it’s a mixed bag I suppose....... respectful people, rude people, genuine people, time wasters & window shoppers with no intention of purchasing x"

Purchasing??? Think you need an Escort site with that attitude.

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By *lienrockMan
over a year ago

Fife


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100 "

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same "

Tbh if you have to deal with 80 arseholes, it's not nice.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

Op. These guidelines are there from experience.

Something with have to accept.

Unfortunately it's 'like it or lump it'

I, for one, appreciate that ladies get a lot of messages and some are from neanderthals, so I wait and be patient and hope they get to know me.

Then if I like them - hopefully something comes of it.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same "

I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here. Why would it be good to have a massive choice of bellends? Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same

I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here. Why would it be good to have a massive choice of bellends? Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage."

Oh thanks.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same

I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here. Why would it be good to have a massive choice of bellends? Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage."

Indeed.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough


"Don't take it personal, let it go fella"

This

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

I may not be a 'hot guy' - but I'm not 'excess baggage'

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By *attoodchapMan
over a year ago

Swansea

Quite an interesting post but similar to alot of others in the form us guys don't get replies etc. I've kept things respectful if I message a lady and she does reply, I take advice from other forums about how my profile should look and what it should say, so definitely no winky profile pics, let's fuck in my bio etc....even I read some and wonder if these people actually meet! Yes it's an adult site but the ladies are human and need to be respected. I class myself as a decent looking guy and I've been turned down by deletion and by ladies asking for a face pic and telling me I'm not their type, neither bother me at all! But, if you think someone will look at your dick, read the "let's fuck" in your bio and give you a reply as she's probably received 100+ messages of the same calibre you're on the wrong site. Best advice I was given was treat this like a dating site, build a rapport with the person and ask them out. Alot of the ladies on here are friends too so word of mouth and a good verification really help.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I may not be a 'hot guy' - but I'm not 'excess baggage' "

I don't think you are. I'd say anyone who's respectful is fine. But so many really aren't.

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By *ylvie 888Woman
over a year ago

Cleethorpes


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x

If I reply no thank you, I often get pestered or abused. The idea that manners cost nothing is nonsense. "

Yes... you end up with a pushy man who then blames the female for blocking when the male doesnt take no for an answer. No means no.

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By *bwlookingforfunWoman
over a year ago

crawley

I delete most of the message. One liners, rude, no required subject etc .. but if message is well written I'll reply, even if I don't like someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

at a guess of % of my messages for every 100 id say 80% insant delete 10% totaly not for me 5% ruin it by sending more message's before even looked at the first one that leave's 5% left of proper message,s of which i properly wont be atracted to ?? how the hell is that too much choice ????

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By *adyinred696969Couple
over a year ago

Brecon


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

Its a shame that happened to you, but you have to make sure your selection process is not being run by your cock!

It's not bad manners to delete with no reply, most of the mail I get is from guys who havent even read my profile, or if they have they ignore what it says, that there is bad manners.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"I may not be a 'hot guy' - but I'm not 'excess baggage' "

You maybe hot to some on here. However, if people don't fit what others are looking for then they don't factor in the pool they would chose from.- hence excess baggage. I could have 1000's of men message me. I'm not interested in any of them - how does that give me too much choice?

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
over a year ago

Gravesend

Manners cost nothing but time does. I don’t have time to reply to messages from people that I have no interest in

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"at a guess of % of my messages for every 100 id say 80% insant delete 10% totaly not for me 5% ruin it by sending more message's before even looked at the first one that leave's 5% left of proper message,s of which i properly wont be atracted to ?? how the hell is that too much choice ????"

Yeah, it's 80-95% work and 5% potential. Pain in the arse.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

A couple of thoughts on this OP - firstly sorry that you were messed around in the instance your status refers to that's never good - one question on that though - how sure are you it was actually a woman, or a woman who was genuine in her intentions? There are men pretending to be women on here who get a sick kick out of messing men around like that even to the point you describe - I daresay there *may* be some women that do it too - either way my advice would be to spend time getting to know someone before diving into meeting and being as sure as you can be that they are genuine in their intentions - I've been here 3 years and am happy with my experience and never once have I been messed around like that.

As for no replies - I think that's been pretty much covered but another way to think of it is the analogy of the unsolicited junk email from a company trying to sell you something - do you reply to all those that you receive, or straight delete them? Same principle here really.

You might think you match a profile and can offer what they want - but the key is whether they do or not, and if they don't then not replying is just their way of letting you know.

One of the best tips I can give is delete your sent messages then you're not tempted to watch them and try to analyse what's happening

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Oh and with regards to women having too much choice - at face value it may appear so with the number of men to women here (which is roughly 10 or 15 to 1) but if you take out the men who don't "get" the site, have the wrong attitude, approach and expectations then the number is a lot more evenly balanced and the "choice" is almost equal.

The key is finding the right attitude, approach and expectations, coupling that with a decent profile and pics and whilst it won't guarantee a thing it will enhance your chances and stand you aside from the crowd.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Oh and with regards to women having too much choice - at face value it may appear so with the number of men to women here (which is roughly 10 or 15 to 1) but if you take out the men who don't "get" the site, have the wrong attitude, approach and expectations then the number is a lot more evenly balanced and the "choice" is almost equal.

The key is finding the right attitude, approach and expectations, coupling that with a decent profile and pics and whilst it won't guarantee a thing it will enhance your chances and stand you aside from the crowd."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and just because you match some one profile with like for likes that does not mean anything you still have to have some sort of attraction ...you can match a million profiles on here not much good if the face pic fails to work

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By *o_eye_deerMan
over a year ago

The South Near That London


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

And isn’t it good manners to give (send a message) and not expect anything in return (a reply)?

Just suck it up and move on, whinging on here and in status updates won’t win anyone over - in fact it will just make it even harder to get a response.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In saying Purchasing I meant just looking, having a perv, with no intention of ever meeting anyone, my attitude is fine, I need to remember that ladies think differently than men, as you know, we’re from different planets! x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thankyou all got your points of views, hints & tips, I will take on board & hopefully a nice lady will restore my faith in fab x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x"

Best way to combat this is to meet women at socials. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for that, deleting sent messages sounds like a good plan of action, if & when a message drops in will make it be a nice surprise

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks, tourcright, socials & club meets will help build relationships x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the problem with the "a simple no is all I ask" mindframe is thatthe person making it comes across as feeling entitled to a reply and a bit sulky because someone didnt write back.

Its not in my opinion a great look for anyone.

I dont reply too all the messages I get, they dont all interest me and some a clearly not what I have stated I am looking for. I am nlt too busy or swamped with messages I just at times couldnt be arsed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same

I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here. Why would it be good to have a massive choice of bellends? Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage."

Thats pretty spot on

Literate ones, and those with a bit of sexual experience are rare too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its a problem in reality for the good looking men, the interesting men and the charismatic men they seem to do ok. Its more the boring feckers that struggle and the ones who put so little in.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I don't think its a problem in reality for the good looking men, the interesting men and the charismatic men they seem to do ok. Its more the boring feckers that struggle and the ones who put so little in. "

Quite.

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough


"I don't think its a problem in reality for the good looking men, the interesting men and the charismatic men they seem to do ok. Its more the boring feckers that struggle and the ones who put so little in. "

Here's hoping so.

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By *lienrockMan
over a year ago

Fife

I'm picking up here that lots of guys who message women are childish about responses or taking no for an answer etc so women feel bombarded with arse holes trying to pull them. It's probably the opposite for guys where some would at least like the chance to decide who's decent and who's not but unfortunately the ratio of men to women doesn't make that happen. I still reckon having a pool to choose from must be better than no pool

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By *annyboy2Man
over a year ago

stuttgart

No one has any obligation to message back, why ohhh why would some one reply to messages with a no thanks then delete when they can just delete.

Taking things personal on a swinging site surely is ridiculous and shows emotional immaturity.

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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Some might say shoving your cock into people's inbox without invitation lacks some respect and manners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not to say it's anywhere near the same for the ladies on here, but a few years ago, I was becoming very popular within a burgeoning music scene. The amount of messages I was getting was unreal and no way could I respond to all without sitting in front of my laptop or on my phone 24/7. Now, translate that to (what sounds like) the majority of those messages just wanting sex with little to no intention of actually speaking to a fellow human being. Yes, I get it can be frustrating, but try to see it from the woman's perspective. As a straight male myself, I can 100% say that for every 1 genuine, honest guy, there are 10 dickheads sadly, I've seen this play out in real life many times, not just online. Don't mean to offend anyone btw, just saying put yourself in their position is all

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Definitely not immature Danny, I’ve been on fab over two years & this is the first time I’ve posted anything negative, I’m a positive person in life, I’m one of the good guys, just a tad disappointed with recent events mate, I can assure you I can take rejection, as you can see, I’m a big boy! Ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Manners just gets you a bucketful of abuse. Last time I politely declined a 'gentleman' who was 180 miles away and smoked (although he had read my profile!!) I was told I am a fat slag who is up her own arse. You also get 'wouldn't want to fuck a munter like you anyway' and 'you really do think your something special don't you'. Don't know about others, but I don't need stuff like that in my life.

I've always been told that no reply is the polite way of indicating that the person isn't interested. It's far from bad manners. Nobody is entitled to a response, a meet or sex. I'm afraid your comment suggests you feel entitled to this. If you want to meet, try clubs and parties. That's the best way. Not moaning on Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x"

Not a good status wow!

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I don't think its a problem in reality for the good looking men, the interesting men and the charismatic men they seem to do ok. Its more the boring feckers that struggle and the ones who put so little in. "

Nailed it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I say no thanks, then block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those are the rules of the game, sadly. I don't agree with them. Just as women say men don't understand the volume of messages, I'm not sure women know what it's like to get rejection after rejection. It is what is. Accept it or leave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always rejecting women it's scandalous I tell you!

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By *lan157Man
over a year ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 26/09/19 14:19:17]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They never ignored me

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Women don’t have enough choice!

I think on here they definitely have a bigger pool to choose from than the ladies

Yeah but there’s like 1 good guy in 100

Agree that quality is more important than quantity although it's nice to have a choice all the same

I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here. Why would it be good to have a massive choice of bellends? Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage."

Very true!

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I really don't think some men understand how it is for single ladies on here."

I think both sexes could benefit from spending a week looking after the other's Fab mailbox. I certainly had my eyes opened when a ex-partner showed me the quantity and calibre of communications she received!


"Respectful, polite, hot guys, who get what swinging is about, are the true unicorns on here. The rest are just excess baggage."

Ah well, I guess three out of four ain't bad! Three quarters of a unicorn anyone?

I do get the impression that the type of guys described are simply "slipping through the net" for a lot of women though, because large quantities of messages must just get lost amongst the chaff in women's inboxes without ever being read, and genuinely decent guys don't want to appear pushy by repeat messaging.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"I do get the impression that the type of guys described are simply "slipping through the net" for a lot of women though, because large quantities of messages must just get lost amongst the chaff in women's inboxes without ever being read, and genuinely decent guys don't want to appear pushy by repeat messaging."

I hear what you're saying but don't necessarily think it's a case of "slipping through the net" - guys that "get" it and adopt the right approach and attitude will always shine through and stand out in some way.

Guess it also depends what you are looking for as an individual - either way as I said further up the scale is a lot more evenly balanced when you take the guys that don't "get" it out of the equation.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"I hear what you're saying but don't necessarily think it's a case of "slipping through the net" - guys that "get" it and adopt the right approach and attitude will always shine through and stand out in some way."

I'm not sure how, if their email never gets read! I suppose the forums have their part to play; I've been contacted after posting on here in the past, but then only a tiny subset of members use the forum.


"Guess it also depends what you are looking for as an individual "

Agreed. I'm primarily on the site for something quite specific, which reduces the "field" even further, but even so I've not done too badly on the site.


"either way as I said further up the scale is a lot more evenly balanced when you take the guys that don't "get" it out of the equation."

I think it would be nice if that were the case - perhaps everyone would get the partners they "deserved" in that case!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I say no thanks, then block

"

Me too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Some might say shoving your cock into people's inbox without invitation lacks some respect and manners. "

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

[Removed by poster at 26/09/19 17:16:35]

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like.

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By *ustalittleKinkWoman
over a year ago

in the shadows

Too much choice? When you have 50 messages all of people that haven't read your profile or respected the fact you've clearly stated what you're looking for , where is the choice there ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x"

It's the mens' fault. If they didn't send so many pointless messages to unsuitable women, their inboxes wouldn't be full of messages that they don't want. Then they could actually reply to the decent men.

The rude men just piss the women off. The abuse and vile messages put them off men. It's the mens' fault.

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I currently have 118 unread messages and that's just a couple of days worth. I work full time and am studying so I can't spend hours replying to each and every one but I did when I first joined and just got a load of abuse back so I realised it's better just to delete

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By *ing_Wookie_RodeoMan
over a year ago

stockport wasteland

You don't get a reply boohoo dude if you get its deleted and not read then try messaging again, after they do a complete delete of mass messages you never know you might get a reply you might of just slipped through the net. But going off the fact you put this makes you seem like you much more like the sulky abusive cry babies that don't like it when they get turned down. Man up you could get turned down in a pub too but you don't get this offended do you?

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex


"Good morning all, I’m so easy going & laid back, the latest status I put up wasn’t for that one particular incident, yes it obviously pissed me off but it’s just so hard to get a lady’s attention as your all getting battered with loads of messages from so many men, too much choice equals bad manners as ladies then don’t even bother replying ninety percent of the time x"

Reading your status that’s an awful thing that’s happened to you

However

Yes , I do have a lot of choice but I have great manners and fantastic morals so I would never do such a thing to anyone myself

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By *ing_Wookie_RodeoMan
over a year ago

stockport wasteland


"You don't get a reply boohoo dude if you get its deleted and not read then try messaging again, after they do a complete delete of mass messages you never know you might get a reply you might of just slipped through the net. But going off the fact you put this makes you seem like you much more like the sulky abusive cry babies that don't like it when they get turned down. Man up you could get turned down in a pub too but you don't get this offended do you? "
but mate no one deserves that kinda treatment in your status

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It’s rude and ignorant to arrange a meet and back out without notice. Loads and loads of men on here is good news because then I can float above the dross and get noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a very rude and ignorant person

I'm lucky to manage my profile in such a way that I do manage to reply to 98%of messages (only delete the rare ignorant one) and hardly ever get rude or ignorant messages or replies, so we're not all the same!

Also luckily have never let anyone down yet or been let down with meetings in all the years I've been on here but am only waiting for the time it happens, so don't get too despondent, there are also lots of polite and interesting people on here too and I'm sure you'll meet a few

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By *arkbaneMan
over a year ago

East leeds

Think with OP in this instance

Manners cost you nothing....

Most people just blanket delete their messages anyway, so can’t say you have read the messages and then decided to delete them.

Even seen some delete messages without looking at the persons profile. So how can you say that you don’t like the person.

People who have good manners are always treated in the same way.

Saying I get loads of messages is not an excuse as what did you expect coming on to this site really!!!!

My rant over for another year ??

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Think with OP in this instance

Manners cost you nothing....

Most people just blanket delete their messages anyway, so can’t say you have read the messages and then decided to delete them.

Even seen some delete messages without looking at the persons profile. So how can you say that you don’t like the person.

People who have good manners are always treated in the same way.

Saying I get loads of messages is not an excuse as what did you expect coming on to this site really!!!!

My rant over for another year ??"

Actually, I expected people to read my profile, take into account my preferences and act like human beings not like a dog with 2 dicks.

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish


"Think with OP in this instance

Manners cost you nothing....

Most people just blanket delete their messages anyway, so can’t say you have read the messages and then decided to delete them.

Even seen some delete messages without looking at the persons profile. So how can you say that you don’t like the person.

People who have good manners are always treated in the same way.

Saying I get loads of messages is not an excuse as what did you expect coming on to this site really!!!!

My rant over for another year ??"

I expect people to at least read the FAQ when they come onto a site like this. Also to not have to spend hours replying to people who I am not interested who can't be arsed reading the FAQ. I owe those people nothing.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

1. Too much choice doesn't exist. Every man and woman here wants a well matched meet. Choice supports people being able to ensure that partners are as well matched as possible.

2. It's not bad manners to not reply. We all agree to Fabs site terms of use and the guidelines are clear - no reply = no interest. It's good manners to appreciate what we've accepted from the site. If it's not to your expectations, you can change them, or continue to feel aggrieved, or stop using the service.

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Not sure we have a lot of choice;

if we do a search we get profiles;

- without face pics

- without text

- guys who can't accommodate (assume married so avoid!, avoid!, avoid)

- bollocked if we don't respond to unsolicited messages and dick pics

That's why we bang on about quality profiles!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure we have a lot of choice;

if we do a search we get profiles;

- without face pics

- without text

- guys who can't accommodate (assume married so avoid!, avoid!, avoid)

- bollocked if we don't respond to unsolicited messages and dick pics

That's why we bang on about quality profiles!"

I can't accomodate because I'm looking after my mum who has been very poorly for quite a long time now. Hoping the situation will improve soon and I can get my own place. Guess I should probably mention that in my bio. Didn't even consider 'can't accomodate' would be interpreted as married. Eep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, if fab isn't working for you but POF was, perhaps you find your answer there..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was brought up to respect people, when a lady says no Thankyou, I always reply with good luck finding what your looking for, don’t know whether I’m being too nice, which brings me to another issue! Ha ha, Why don’t Ladies like a nice guy? I personally am always respectful, good looking fella, GSOH, clean & tidy, not clingy, just enjoy meeting new people & pleasuring a lovely lady, but that doesn’t seem to be enough, any advice & tips will be taken on board x"

Most women do like nice respectful men. Your status update doesn't really support your claim that you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think with OP in this instance

Manners cost you nothing....

Most people just blanket delete their messages anyway, so can’t say you have read the messages and then decided to delete them.

Even seen some delete messages without looking at the persons profile. So how can you say that you don’t like the person.

People who have good manners are always treated in the same way.

Saying I get loads of messages is not an excuse as what did you expect coming on to this site really!!!!

My rant over for another year ??"

Read this back and see if you think it portrays you as being mannerly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like."

This is a perfect analogy!

This is exactly what it’s like.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Not sure we have a lot of choice;

if we do a search we get profiles;

- without face pics

- without text

- guys who can't accommodate (assume married so avoid!, avoid!, avoid)

- bollocked if we don't respond to unsolicited messages and dick pics

That's why we bang on about quality profiles!"

All fair points apart from the "accommodate" one. Obviously if using that as a filter works for you then you're perfectly entitled to do so but c'mon, you said yourself that is a huge assumption. There are loads of reasons both guys and gals might not accommodate, not least of which is not wanting to have a stranger in their home!

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

...which is why I tend to like hotel meets; neutral ground so to speak, although plenty of women rule that out on their profiles too!

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London

OP, let me put it this way. Yes, women have choice. However, not as much as you imagine. I refuse to choose from dozens of desperados who either can't read a profile or won't read one because who cares what a woman wants or thinks, right?

Also, I will confess. I do reply to all the messages. Something tells me though that most of the addressees probably wish I hadn't.

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like.

This is a perfect analogy!

This is exactly what it’s like. "

Whereas for guys a lot of the time it's like going to a restaurant, liking two items, getting told one is off the menu, ordering the other and it never arriving!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like.

This is a perfect analogy!

This is exactly what it’s like.

Whereas for guys a lot of the time it's like going to a restaurant, liking two items, getting told one is off the menu, ordering the other and it never arriving!"

So it's men who have the most choice!

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit


"Think with OP in this instance

Manners cost you nothing....

Most people just blanket delete their messages anyway, so can’t say you have read the messages and then decided to delete them."

How do you know what *most* people do?


"Even seen some delete messages without looking at the persons profile. So how can you say that you don’t like the person."

How do you know they didn't look at the profile? If they looked in stealth mode you'd never know whether they had or hadn't


"Saying I get loads of messages is not an excuse as what did you expect coming on to this site really!!!!"

Perhaps they expected polite and respectful messages and not to be subjected to abuse for politely rejecting someone who had sent them an unsolicited message because *they* thought they were a good match

Bet you don't answer every piece of junk mail you received - is that bad manners or common sense?


"My rant over for another year ??"

You can rant all you like - but surely it's better to accept the way things are and the very valid reasons behind them - worry about how *you* choose to use the site and not other people? If they are really being that rude by not replying to you (in your eyes) would they be the type of person you'd want to meet anyway?

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

... then leaving hungry and having to go home and make our own dinner!

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"... then leaving hungry and having to go home and make our own dinner! "

That's probably the only way some of the reprobates on here will get any sustenance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like.

This is a perfect analogy!

This is exactly what it’s like.

Whereas for guys a lot of the time it's like going to a restaurant, liking two items, getting told one is off the menu, ordering the other and it never arriving!

So it's men who have the most choice! "

Sounds like it!

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By *aughtyYorkGentMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire


"Just because there's alot of men on here, doesn't mean they are what we are looking for. It's like going to a restaurant and there only being one dish that you like.

This is a perfect analogy!

This is exactly what it’s like.

Whereas for guys a lot of the time it's like going to a restaurant, liking two items, getting told one is off the menu, ordering the other and it never arriving!

So it's men who have the most choice! "

Not really - if items that the diner simply doesn't like aren't a choice, then those which aren't available or never arrive certainly aren't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Want some cheese with your wine sir?

Profile picture is a dick,no other pics and virtually no profile info.

Are you really that surprised you don't get any interest?

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"I was previously on POF, sad to say, but fellas get more respect on there, initially I thought Fab was meant to be more of a more grown up version for meeting new people, but for me it’s sadly turned out quite frustrating, I’ve been on here over two years, think it’s time I finally parted company, I appreciate the feedback tho guys x"

Did you introduce yourself with a picture of your penis on POF?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was previously on POF, sad to say, but fellas get more respect on there, initially I thought Fab was meant to be more of a more grown up version for meeting new people, but for me it’s sadly turned out quite frustrating, I’ve been on here over two years, think it’s time I finally parted company, I appreciate the feedback tho guys x

Did you introduce yourself with a picture of your penis on POF? "

That's why he said "previously"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was previously on POF, sad to say, but fellas get more respect on there, initially I thought Fab was meant to be more of a more grown up version for meeting new people, but for me it’s sadly turned out quite frustrating, I’ve been on here over two years, think it’s time I finally parted company, I appreciate the feedback tho guys x

Did you introduce yourself with a picture of your penis on POF? "

this

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By *inks_apeyCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

We've had it, it's not just women to be fair (although I suppose they get more than us to deal with)

If you reply even with a "no thanks" lots of people take is as "being hard to get" and just drag it out etc etc, and that's nothing to say they always just assume its kinks replying to all of the messages, so nowadays we just delete them, nothing personal, it's just not worth the agro in the long run, so I feel for the single ladies on here.

Apey

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL


"Manners cost nothing, no thanks/not for me would be sufficient, unless Fab is over run with non genuine time wasters nowadays x"

'manners' lead to abuse, why not and pestering in a lot of cases. Please have a look at other threads similar to your OP. It will soon become clear that no response is no interest, it's stated in the fab faq section, I would suggest you read it OP. Now, how about you go to your spam folder and reply to all this junk emails with a polite no thanks, surely, according to your post this is the polite thing to do? Please do let us know how you get on with this and how long it takes before you get fed up with doing it.

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