FabSwingers.com forum: Missed out, it's a shame etc

By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Why have I "missed out" or been told "its a shame", "don't know what I'm missing" etc from people who don't match my preferences? None of the above really applies, or does it?

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

I get this a lot.

Thing is, I know what I like, what I find attractive, what I want.

So if I decided that, that person doesn't match up to that, then I'm really not missing out on anything.

You can only 'miss out' if it's something you want and can't have

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I suppose their reasoning is that they're great and you'd love it. They can stroke their ego that way if nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this annoying too. It isn’t a shame for us as we won’t regret choosing not to meet people we don’t want to meet

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I just file this under "stupid shit people say"

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"I just file this under "stupid shit people say" "

Yes!

I'm a vegetarian, I'm not missing out on meat either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If find it funny as fuck.

It must shatter the ego when I respond that I'm not missing out, or it's a shame for you, not for me.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"If find it funny as fuck.

It must shatter the ego when I respond that I'm not missing out, or it's a shame for you, not for me.

Those are my general responses actually.

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

I had this response after a social when I declined the offer to come back to hers. She was really taken back by my assertion that I didn’t feel a connection with her, and called me a time waster, and that this “wasn’t a dating site” and that she gave the “best blow job on fab” . This, I hasten to add, after she had been stood up, saw that I was online and nearby, and invited me for a drink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a repose people make to try and save face I wouldn't let it bother you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why have I "missed out" or been told "its a shame", "don't know what I'm missing" etc from people who don't match my preferences? None of the above really applies, or does it? "

lol i get this all the time

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

I feel like we’ve been missing out now on being told that we would be missing out, we must adjust our fab settings so we can catch up with all the missing out that we’ve missed out on so far.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I had this response after a social when I declined the offer to come back to hers. She was really taken back by my assertion that I didn’t feel a connection with her, and called me a time waster, and that this “wasn’t a dating site” and that she gave the “best blow job on fab” . This, I hasten to add, after she had been stood up, saw that I was online and nearby, and invited me for a drink. "

I get the instinct to say it. Rejection sucks! But we need to be adults and tend to our feelings without lashing out at people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well at least you get a response I guess.. I don't even get replies to my messages lost of the time after taking time to ensure I match preferences and have read their entire profiles.. some have rather extensive wish lists eg;

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

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By *ir-spunk-alotMan
over a year ago

Southern England

"Why have I "missed out" or been told "its a shame", "don't know what I'm missing" etc from people who don't match my preferences? None of the above really applies, or does it? "

Its a way for the insecure person to feel better about themselves, rejection can melt snowflakes.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Well at least you get a response I guess.. I don't even get replies to my messages lost of the time after taking time to ensure I match preferences and have read their entire profiles.. some have rather extensive wish lists eg;

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here.."

Delete without reply means no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not really rejection, not to want to have sex with someone. I don't have sex with almost everyone.

People make positive choices.

Only pushy people force a negative choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

Delete without reply means no thank you. "

Most of the time they just stay unread.. are they replying? Are they interested? No idea lol

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

Delete without reply means no thank you.

Most of the time they just stay unread.. are they replying? Are they interested? No idea lol"

Assume no and you might get a pleasant surprise.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"It's not really rejection, not to want to have sex with someone. I don't have sex with almost everyone.

People make positive choices.

Only pushy people force a negative choice. "

Absolutely this.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here.."

But they could make it easier on themselves by reading profiles first?

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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago

Maldon and Peterborough

"I get this a lot.

Thing is, I know what I like, what I find attractive, what I want.

So if I decided that, that person doesn't match up to that, then I'm really not missing out on anything.

You can only 'miss out' if it's something you want and can't have "

I think charm school was closed on the day they went.

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By *moothman2000Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I think a small but significant number of people join Fab in the mistaken assumption that it guarantees sex on demand.

They then get rather pissed off when it doesn't happen that way.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think a small but significant number of people join Fab in the mistaken assumption that it guarantees sex on demand.

They then get rather pissed off when it doesn't happen that way.

Very much. Or they think a refusal says something about them. It doesn't, necessarily.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no illusions but some people think they are god's gift! Get over yourselves,if you were as good as you think why did you join a swingers site? Surely you get sex on demand! Oh and the whiny statuses from single men do my head in. You do realise it makes you even more off putting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here.."

Sorry but that's bollocks!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Didn’t you know? You missed out.

That guy. Yeah - he was about to offer you mind blowing sex & orgasms like you’ve never had before....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is the problem on here I spoke to you a long while ago you were polite as was I you told me politely that I didn’t fit the bill and I accepted that and haven’t bothered you since unless to comment on something you’re a very nice person I just feel that the pushy ones seem to get further than the nice ones don’t know what you think

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By *moothman2000Man
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Very much. Or they think a refusal says something about them. It doesn't, necessarily. "

Excellent use of a comma there...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like to elaborate on that?

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"This is the problem on here I spoke to you a long while ago you were polite as was I you told me politely that I didn’t fit the bill and I accepted that and haven’t bothered you since unless to comment on something you’re a very nice person I just feel that the pushy ones seem to get further than the nice ones don’t know what you think "

Thanks, and actually the pushy ones are worse off as I don't end up chatting to them at all. Think we spoke about a year ago, feel free to stop by for a chat anytime.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are plenty of the “your loss” brigade on here and is seen in both the attitude and profile of lots of people here, that’s the pre-repost and just shows peoples insecurities, avoid

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By *owhambamMan
over a year ago

clacton

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

Sorry but that's bollocks!!"

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand "

This might help explain it - I have a profile with 1 pic, nothing interesting either. I log on twice a day or so. I currently have 329 unread messages from the last week or so. Some women get several hundred messages a day! They’d need a PA to read them all.

Then you also have to add in the fact that sometimes women mark messages as unread rather than saying “No thanks” or deleting because those two options can lead to a barrage of messages demanding to know why or downright giving abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why have I "missed out" or been told "its a shame", "don't know what I'm missing" etc from people who don't match my preferences? None of the above really applies, or does it? "
they were the best thing since sliced bread and what woman ever knows what she wants

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand

And we wonder why some women

Get cocky (no pun intended) when they aren’t the best looking. Obvious the hundreds of messages don’t help.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

Sorry but that's bollocks!!

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand "

We generally try to reply to most messages even if it’s a polite no thanks however some crude or abusive or one word or generic messages are not worth our time and effort.

Normally an instant delete from us means not interested. An unread message normally means it’s under consideration or one to refer back to and revisit when we have more time. Everyone runs their own profiles in their own little way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand

And we wonder why some women

Get cocky (no pun intended) when they aren’t the best looking. Obvious the hundreds of messages don’t help. "

To be honest the majority of them contain “Wnt 2 fck”, “Phone sex now?”, “pics...” or just a phone number (mostly all accompanied by dick pics). So it’s often more wading through drivel than anything ego building.

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By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago

mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds

"Why have I "missed out" or been told "its a shame", "don't know what I'm missing" etc from people who don't match my preferences? None of the above really applies, or does it? "

Same when ladies post about some things and folk say "their loss"..

Its just 1's and 0's on a screen.

Delete , move on, block if necessary.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand

Agreed, however filters are available to use so you don't get so many messages. Generally speaking I haven't used them much myself, however, as you say, due to the volume of messages currently being received, I've decided to use them now. Unfortunately this also means less help for newbies is available if they fall outside my preferences, they can still talk to me in the cam rooms and the advice on my profile still stands though.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Must be 5'11" and a half tall

Must have previous veris

Must have fewer than 2 previous veris

Must have 30 face pics (even though they don't)

It really is tough for guys on here..

Delete without reply means no thank you.

Most of the time they just stay unread.. are they replying? Are they interested? No idea lol"

How long are your messages? I have to admit that I don't need to open the majority of mine to read them. If a message is less than a dozen words ('hi there, how's you sexy?' for example), once it's on my inbox I can read it, and I just scroll down the page hitting delete on all the generic messages, or ones from people with cock pic avatars, etc., as I go.

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Apparently my pics are now being fabbed lol. Funny as they are all set to private and I can't fab my own.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the instinct to say it. Rejection sucks! But we need to be adults and tend to our feelings without lashing out at people. "

Well said.

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By *ir-spunk-alotMan
over a year ago

Southern England

"It's not really rejection, not to want to have sex with someone. I don't have sex with almost everyone.

People make positive choices.

Only pushy people force a negative choice. "

Well it is.

Would you like to have sex with me?

No.

Thats rejection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably some kind of pathetic guilt trip attempt

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"It's probably some kind of pathetic guilt trip attempt

It doesn't work lol

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I’m glad you replied to this

So many times it’s us ladies that have to turn men down and it’s refreshing to see that it does in fact go against the gran that men won’t just do anything and are just as picky

Good for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m glad you replied to this

So many times it’s us ladies that have to turn men down and it’s refreshing to see that it does in fact go against the gran that men won’t just do anything and are just as picky

Good for you

"
yes, we're very fussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how about reading "its a shame" as you look great and the person sending that message feels they are missing out on some fun! lol

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"how about reading "its a shame" as you look great and the person sending that message feels they are missing out on some fun! lol

I do, but just wonder why they send it at all in the first place lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had something similar with a lady where because I couldn’t travel 100 miles in half hour !

I apparently missed out and she had the best ever meet ! Still waiting to see the verification

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

How come when men say it they are demonised, yet when a man doesn’t meet a women and a thread is posted about it, the term “his loss” is banded about by other women(and sometimes men) as some sort of comfort?

It appears to me that the” their loss” statement is gender neutral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How come when men say it they are demonised, yet when a man doesn’t meet a women and a thread is posted about it, the term “his loss” is banded about by other women(and sometimes men) as some sort of comfort?

It appears to me that the” their loss” statement is gender neutral."

That's fab for you! And you have to remember that the forums are also only a tiny part of the site that a vast majority never use.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's their last word.

I am not missing out. More like escaping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone who joined here just over a week ago I agree with the previous comment. It is confusing when you send a message, and 5 days later still unread, a deleted message easy to understand

Easy solution

Just block single guys from messaging, end of problem....

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By *sGivesWood OP Woman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I'd have to block everyone then lol.

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By *nabelle21Woman
over a year ago

B38

missed out on not missing very much..if that's their attitude

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