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Social expectations

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

For me social means social and nothing else

Few laughs hopefully flirting obviously but not secret code for guaranteed shag

I don’t spell this out in my profile due to knowing I may flex this rule should the stars align ( unusually with women)

Guys I need to meet first and see if we click and that all important trust is there so when chatting and agreeing a meet I do spell this out to them

I have been let down last minute twice in as many weeks for a social with a guy and pretty this is a factor not willing to change my rule just venting as guys bitch they can’t get socials when all they really mean is quick and easy shags !! Not all of course !!

Rant over !!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

So social doesn't mean social only except with men. You could spell that out on your profile

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I get what your frustration is. I think they need to take a look at their approach.

How do you know this is the cause though (only asking out of interest) I’m assuming they start try turning the chat sexual and then throw a fit when you say there’ll be no action involved? Xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"So social doesn't mean social only except with men. You could spell that out on your profile "

I know myself well enough to m ow that I may break this rule for the right person my frustration is if I need a social first and I’m clear on that why even bother agreeing to meet if looking for instant shag?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get what your frustration is. I think they need to take a look at their approach.

How do you know this is the cause though (only asking out of interest) I’m assuming they start try turning the chat sexual and then throw a fit when you say there’ll be no action involved? Xx"

Sexual banter is great love it but if I’m. It 100% I always insist on just drink first and that is agreed then something comes up last minute ?? Could be genuine I guess but I do think they’d make more effort if I said sex is possible ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Mind you we spell it out on our private that we want at least one social and get quite a few messages suggesting a social and "maybe more" . So on second thoughts spelling it out might not work

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Mind you we spell it out on our private that we want at least one social and get quite a few messages suggesting a social and "maybe more" . So on second thoughts spelling it out might not work"

No right or wrong I guess just a forum for venting

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I found when I met as a single woman that many soon changed their minds about meeting ,if i told them it was a social only 1st meet.

I used it as a kind of filter,so stopped contact with those who pushed for more or tried to persuade me to invite them over etc.

My best meets were ways after socials.

Miss

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I find that a lot of single guys don’t want to make the effort of having a social without the promise of more. I just assume that they therefore also won’t make much effort to satisfy me anyway as it’s all about their needs.

Like the previous lady said it’s a good filter and respectful guys don’t have a problem with a social only meet.

I can’t accommodate most of the time so I like to have a social first for my own safety.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me, a social is just that. I’m under no illusions about whether it will progress past that, I’m just happy to meet a likeminded soul and see if there’s a spark.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I found when I met as a single woman that many soon changed their minds about meeting ,if i told them it was a social only 1st meet.

I used it as a kind of filter,so stopped contact with those who pushed for more or tried to persuade me to invite them over etc.

My best meets were ways after socials.

Miss"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"To me, a social is just that. I’m under no illusions about whether it will progress past that, I’m just happy to meet a likeminded soul and see if there’s a spark."

Nice to see

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To me, a social is just that. I’m under no illusions about whether it will progress past that, I’m just happy to meet a likeminded soul and see if there’s a spark.

Nice to see "

I think as a single man, anything I can do to make a woman feel as safe as possible is a good thing.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I found when I met as a single woman that many soon changed their minds about meeting ,if i told them it was a social only 1st meet.

I used it as a kind of filter,so stopped contact with those who pushed for more or tried to persuade me to invite them over etc.

My best meets were ways after socials.

Miss"

Me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've actually offered to meet newbies before just for a coffee to give them a starting veri (turns up, looks like their pic, polite etc) and been turned down as it's only a coffee! Now I can't be bothered ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've actually offered to meet newbies before just for a coffee to give them a starting veri (turns up, looks like their pic, polite etc) and been turned down as it's only a coffee! Now I can't be bothered ... "

It’s sad that people can’t take the time to actually get to know someone first.

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By *kus2Couple
over a year ago

west malling

We post as social plus.

We explain that it is a social only but on that ultra rare occasion things can further but there should be NO expectation from any party.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I’ve had socials in the past I’ve had expectations, to have a laugh a chat and just a great time . Never been disappointed either xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've actually offered to meet newbies before just for a coffee to give them a starting veri (turns up, looks like their pic, polite etc) and been turned down as it's only a coffee! Now I can't be bothered ...

It’s sad that people can’t take the time to actually get to know someone first."

Only offering a coffee, chat and a laugh so that they can get a first veri but only interested in sex! Doesn't bother me but can't be arsed now as it's just disrespectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've actually offered to meet newbies before just for a coffee to give them a starting veri (turns up, looks like their pic, polite etc) and been turned down as it's only a coffee! Now I can't be bothered ...

It’s sad that people can’t take the time to actually get to know someone first.

Only offering a coffee, chat and a laugh so that they can get a first veri but only interested in sex! Doesn't bother me but can't be arsed now as it's just disrespectful "

I completely agree, and then there are guys like me who would love the chance.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I've had a fair few socials over the last two years and only one person seemed to think it was going to lead to a guarenteed shag . I disabuse him of that idea pretty darn sharp and it's one of the only socials where I didn't finish my coffee.

Otherwise it's all been good

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I've had a fair few socials over the last two years and only one person seemed to think it was going to lead to a guarenteed shag . I disabuse him of that idea pretty darn sharp and it's one of the only socials where I didn't finish my coffee.

Otherwise it's all been good "

Fortunately for me most people show their arses (apt given my profile picture) before the social and I cancel (by giving them a chance to reconsider then telling them why it's not happening when they don't, not by not showing up).

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