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Goldfishing

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By *lick9 OP   Man
over a year ago

Stockport

I saw something on TV a week or so ago about a sex act called goldfishing. I cannot actually believe its true. Does anyone know if it is or not or heard of any other strange sexual acts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw something on TV a week or so ago about a sex act called goldfishing. I cannot actually believe its true. Does anyone know if it is or not or heard of any other strange sexual acts "

Is it wanking whist you’ve got your fishing rod in the fish tank ?

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By *nglishdoodMan
over a year ago

Morristown


"I saw something on TV a week or so ago about a sex act called goldfishing. I cannot actually believe its true. Does anyone know if it is or not or heard of any other strange sexual acts

Is it wanking whist you’ve got your fishing rod in the fish tank ? "

No, that's "Garden-gnoming"

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By *lick9 OP   Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Your both close ax it's to do with fish lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your both close ax it's to do with fish lol"
Feeding the fish..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pulls up a chair intriguing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it the same act as when sailers from the 1800’s carried out . They got an std skirvey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/08/19 18:49:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop being koi and tell us!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This was on celebrity juice. Make what you will from that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The things that get trawled up on here, never fail to amaze me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Load of pollocks really

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"Stop being koi and tell us!!"

Maybe he needs to mullet over

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Any one a dab hand at it ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eel tell us soon

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate


"Eel tell us soon "

Dolphinately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you get a fish and fillet.

Sorry, shouldn't have said that, it wasn't my plaice.

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Oh for cod's hake, this is ling-ering on a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a sole knows!!

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

I'm perched on the edge of my seat waiting

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

The tench-ion is killing me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve haddock with this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There’s little to bass this idea on

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Let minnow when all is revealed

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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago

Hillside desolate

Perhaps it wasn't real, all just a vivid bream

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Shirley Conran - lace circa 1990

- inserting goldfish into a woman and the fluttering cause orgasm.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everything has its plaice on Fab

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I can't rudd-y wait to find out

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

Ooh actually was 1984 the book was published - showing my age

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By *lick9 OP   Man
over a year ago

Stockport


"This was on celebrity juice. Make what you will from that. "

Is that where i saw it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dangling your maggot?

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By *lick9 OP   Man
over a year ago

Stockport


"Shirley Conran - lace circa 1990

- inserting goldfish into a woman and the fluttering cause orgasm..... "

I guess that's one use the other suggested one was putting in a guts arse and hitting his prostate. Same difference I guess lol

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

Sounds like a whale of a time

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

There is a law saying that the private parts of a skate cannot be landed.. say no more

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By *est Wales WifeCouple
over a year ago

Near Carmarthen

The Urban Dictionary is your friend.

1. When someone is so messed up, they head in one direction with a goal in mind but half-way there, forget that goal and wander off in a random direction with or without another goal in mind. Term comes from goldfish in an aquarium acting the same way due to their seconds-long memory.

2.A common occurrence at rock and hardcore shows where an audience member will attempt to mouth along to the song being played but having no idea what the words are. They will often simply open and close their lips in a manner similar to a goldfish.

3. Similar to catfishing, where a fake person is created to lure people in, goldfishing is when someone fakes being wealthy in order to find romantic partners.

This is especially true of middle-aged men, who use expensive leased cars to hopefully find a 20-something gold digger. Basically the reason anyone would do this is because they're too insecure in their own socioeconomic standing, and feel the need to act like someone they're not.

4.The act of "gold fishing" is define as, when a person who has water poured containing one or more "G*** F*** into their anus and removes them by anal insertion of some kind. Asterisks because the act is probably illegal

5. When a man masturbates, ejaculates skyward, and then attempts to catch his own airborne gob of semen in his mouth. This act is known as goldfishing for the manner in which a goldfish patiently awaits his feeding while swimming vertically, mouth ajar. Men who goldfish tend to be unpleasant, lonely, and simple human beings.

6. Used when you're forgetting something or have forgotten something. In reference to goldfishes' short/nonexistent memory.

7 goldfishsex (not gold fishing) A spontaneous erection of the male penis, usually the result of something completely non-sequitur, such as thinking about goldfish

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Well perhaps it's one of the seven

.

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By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke


"The Urban Dictionary is your friend.

1. When someone is so messed up, they head in one direction with a goal in mind but half-way there, forget that goal and wander off in a random direction with or without another goal in mind. Term comes from goldfish in an aquarium acting the same way due to their seconds-long memory.

2.A common occurrence at rock and hardcore shows where an audience member will attempt to mouth along to the song being played but having no idea what the words are. They will often simply open and close their lips in a manner similar to a goldfish.

3. Similar to catfishing, where a fake person is created to lure people in, goldfishing is when someone fakes being wealthy in order to find romantic partners.

This is especially true of middle-aged men, who use expensive leased cars to hopefully find a 20-something gold digger. Basically the reason anyone would do this is because they're too insecure in their own socioeconomic standing, and feel the need to act like someone they're not.

4.The act of "gold fishing" is define as, when a person who has water poured containing one or more "G*** F*** into their anus and removes them by anal insertion of some kind. Asterisks because the act is probably illegal

5. When a man masturbates, ejaculates skyward, and then attempts to catch his own airborne gob of semen in his mouth. This act is known as goldfishing for the manner in which a goldfish patiently awaits his feeding while swimming vertically, mouth ajar. Men who goldfish tend to be unpleasant, lonely, and simple human beings.

6. Used when you're forgetting something or have forgotten something. In reference to goldfishes' short/nonexistent memory.

7 goldfishsex (not gold fishing) A spontaneous erection of the male penis, usually the result of something completely non-sequitur, such as thinking about goldfish"

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Urban dictionary...

Excluding rural readers I assume..

Authors had a vivid imagination on this one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For goodness saaahake!!!

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By *xperimentalistMan
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I was thinking of something different, something for the fellas, maybe that is carping?

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

You could have got PPI back if had a Goldfish credit card.

It's probably inserting live gold fish into an orifice and hope they survive the experience while you orgasm. Nemo's safe he's clown.

xxx Carassius Auratus, I'm a pisces. Float... float on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Shirley Conran - lace circa 1990

- inserting goldfish into a woman and the fluttering cause orgasm..... "

nope! As avid aquaria keepers, nope nope nope!

S

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham


"Is it the same act as when sailers from the 1800’s carried out . They got an std skirvey "

This one intrigues me.. What act did they carry out..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont be a pollock

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By *andkCouple
over a year ago

Wisbech

I remember an old German 1980s porn film doing the rounds where a lady (for use of a better word) put a dead, smoked Mackrell in a condom and then had a hearty wank

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Warmed the cockles of my heart this thread.

It's the plaice to be.

Cod knows what it is though (I thought the Shirley Conran, Lace book thingy with the goldfish up her fifi)

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford


"I remember an old German 1980s porn film doing the rounds where a lady (for use of a better word) put a dead, smoked Mackrell in a condom and then had a hearty wank"

Why does this ring a bell? I vaguely remember seeing this. Just reminded me.

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By *ame-room-no-swapCouple
over a year ago

Taunton

This thread is breaming with useful information, some of it a bit in-conger-ous ...

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

It has gone a bit flat fish obviously aren’t that interesting when you can be sharking round fab looking for a plaice to dab your cockle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wonder, if we ever encountered intelligent life forms, how would they consider us?

"Hey, avoid the Earthlings, they have holes, and they like to put living beings into their holes"

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By *elliNevvaMan
over a year ago

London

The Op is being a total Spratt for not telling us

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By *eedsmale36Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I ORCAsionally enjoy this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Time and plaice for all these bad puns

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry, can you say it again.

I didn't quite catch it

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By *elliNevvaMan
over a year ago

London


"Time and plaice for all these bad puns "

No use for trawling the depths after the ship has passed

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Op must have gone on playing with his tackle

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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol East

A court case a few years ago.

A guy at a party in North East regurgitated a gold fish and spat into toilet.

Film on social media.

He was convicted of cruelty.

Apparently, if it's got a spine, the law says you cannot be cruel.

Just sayin'

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

This whole thread just skates over the issue tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FISH!!

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By *rtraymondo76Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"This whole thread just skates over the issue tbh. "

Just when I thought there was a Ray of hope that we'd finally Plaice'd the C'reel answer, you Skate'd off in another direction.

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