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"Had a few couples and single females message me then, after seeing my pics deleting and blocking!!! If you dont like me cool, just say and we move on, deleting and blocking someone YOU approached after they send over pics YOU asked for, just seems like people are being a dick for no reason Rant over "They didn't block without reason. They blocked without giving their reason. YOU move on. They have. xx Have fun xxx | |||
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"Had a few couples and single females message me then, after seeing my pics deleting and blocking!!! If you dont like me cool, just say and we move on, deleting and blocking someone YOU approached after they send over pics YOU asked for, just seems like people are being a dick for no reason Rant over "Don't expect a rational answer from anyone who does that. Just accept there are some who are not yet ready for you, and move onto the next people you're going to message. To assume anything else of a non-answer/block will send you completely bonkers. Nice blackwork by the way
Wolf
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"Had a few couples and single females message me then, after seeing my pics deleting and blocking!!! If you dont like me cool, just say and we move on, deleting and blocking someone YOU approached after they send over pics YOU asked for, just seems like people are being a dick for no reason Rant over "just happens ive had people wink at me - invite me as friends- chat - delete me - add me as friends - delete - then keep looking at my profile - Also, people who chat then block and then unblock and meet - just relax and go with the flow | |||
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"Had a few couples and single females message me then, after seeing my pics deleting and blocking!!! If you dont like me cool, just say and we move on, deleting and blocking someone YOU approached after they send over pics YOU asked for, just seems like people are being a dick for no reason Rant over
They didn't block without reason. They blocked without giving their reason.
YOU move on. They have. xx
Have fun xxx "
They may have seen read the profile looked at pictures and thought not for us. For what ever reason he wernt for them ie travel distance dee daa dee daa dee daa they dont need to give a reason its there preference aint it at end of the day. The blocking bit is nothing personal just saves any future contact from that usser once you have decided not for you. Far less hassle that way to just block them. Nothing personal at all. Just get over it and move on really aint it lol | |||
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"Had a few couples and single females message me then, after seeing my pics deleting and blocking!!! If you dont like me cool, just say and we move on, deleting and blocking someone YOU approached after they send over pics YOU asked for, just seems like people are being a dick for no reason Rant over "Unless you're a serious fugly with a third eye, pinocchio nose, warts and a tattoo on your forehead saying 'I Blow Goats' - i'm guessing they either just don't fancy you and are too rude to say thanks, but no thanks - or you need to be a little more careful who you send additional pics to and how quickly. Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' (And if they do I suggest asking for theirs first to see the response!) and if they're not verified, sound too good to be true and haven't sent you a decent, well worded, polite message (i.e more than 'Hi, can we meet/fancy a fuck) - then hold back on dishing out the photo's. If they're serious, they'll be happy with a little more conversation first! | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' " I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways! | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways!" Exactly why the people will have then blocked the OP after seeing his face pics - i.e. there was no attraction. It isn't rude, it just saves them sending a message to the person later on and saves them wasted time. | |||
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"I have always been polite and said no thanks only to be questioned as to why i said no. Be adult about it and move onto someone who is interested. At least if you're blocked you won't make a mistake and message them again." If they question "Why"? Thats when I block  | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways!" But there's a difference between 'early on' and those 3 words being the first contact. I peronally couldn't give a rats arse how great someone's profile and pics looked - if i recieved that as a first message then it's straight back with a 'thanks but no thanks' from me! | |||
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"Blocking saves being sent another message few weeks or months down the line. " Spot on that. When I get msg deleted or a thanx but no thanx reply I simply block them. Not out of spite or anything like that at all. Juat saves me from seing the profile again a few months down the line and then sending a msg trying to sort out a meet. Same as when I get msg of some one who is just not for me at all. I send a polite thanx but sod off and then block. Again nothing personal at all just saves any more future un wanted miether dont it | |||
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"Thank you
Just seemed a bit rude but what ever"I agree with u op and I might be in the minority but hey ho Some people obviously think they r above common decency and made of chocolate, so let them get on with their rudeness Say sorry no thanks then block if u so wish to avoid the next message in a few weeks   | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways! Exactly why the people will have then blocked the OP after seeing his face pics - i.e. there was no attraction. It isn't rude, it just saves them sending a message to the person later on and saves them wasted time. "They asked for the pic! They should have had the balls to say "No thanx" before blocking... I know blocking saves wasting time down the line BUT to block without saying anything after they were the ones to ask for pic in 1st place, is just plain ignorant! | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways! But there's a difference between 'early on' and those 3 words being the first contact. I peronally couldn't give a rats arse how great someone's profile and pics looked - if i recieved that as a first message then it's straight back with a 'thanks but no thanks' from me!" Gawd no!! I wouldn't ask in first message if I was the one instigating it! lol I meant if someone mails me... | |||
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" Genuine people don't tend to dive in with 'Face Pics Please!!!' I always ask for face pics very early on....saves time! No point having any kind of a conversation if it turns out there is no attraction....and that counts both ways! Exactly why the people will have then blocked the OP after seeing his face pics - i.e. there was no attraction. It isn't rude, it just saves them sending a message to the person later on and saves them wasted time.
They asked for the pic! They should have had the balls to say "No thanx" before blocking...
I know blocking saves wasting time down the line BUT to block without saying anything after they were the ones to ask for pic in 1st place, is just plain ignorant!
"And as this thread is a wee bit of evidence of it, the OP might (I did say might) have come back with "oh but why, you asked for the pic first, thats just not fair, blah, blah, blah!" Blocking is a great wee tool that saves time and any further hassle! | |||
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" And as this thread is a wee bit of evidence of it, the OP might (I did say might) have come back with "oh but why, you asked for the pic first, thats just not fair, blah, blah, blah!" Blocking is a great wee tool that saves time and any further hassle! "Noone is saying the block button isn't a great tool....IT IS!!! "No thanx not out type" SEND...BLOCK! Easy | |||
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" And as this thread is a wee bit of evidence of it, the OP might (I did say might) have come back with "oh but why, you asked for the pic first, thats just not fair, blah, blah, blah!" Blocking is a great wee tool that saves time and any further hassle!
Noone is saying the block button isn't a great tool....IT IS!!!
"No thanx not out type" SEND...BLOCK!
Easy "As you have stated earlier in the thread, you use the block button your way - others will use it their way! It's easier to just block than to send a message then block. | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? " Sadly some don't like rejection....lol | |||
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" As you have stated earlier in the thread, you use the block button your way - others will use it their way! It's easier to just block than to send a message then block. "IF the op had sent out messages to females/couples in hope they would respond, YES I agree with block without reply! But as the op is talking about people that contacted him first the least they can do is say "No thanx" after asking!! | |||
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" And as this thread is a wee bit of evidence of it, the OP might (I did say might) have come back with "oh but why, you asked for the pic first, thats just not fair, blah, blah, blah!" Blocking is a great wee tool that saves time and any further hassle!
Noone is saying the block button isn't a great tool....IT IS!!!
"No thanx not out type" SEND...BLOCK!
Easy "Blocking should never be a substitute for courtesy and manners! Sometimes I think people use it for the wrong reasons - as just a way of avoiding the need to say sorry, but no thanks. If someone said hello at a club or social and you weren't attracted and had no interest in them - would you just blank them and walk away? Methinks not! | |||
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If we get face pics from couples, and we NOT interested, I always send our face pics back as I see that is only fair!
But thats just me  | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? " Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things. | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things."
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle. | |||
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" And as this thread is a wee bit of evidence of it, the OP might (I did say might) have come back with "oh but why, you asked for the pic first, thats just not fair, blah, blah, blah!" Blocking is a great wee tool that saves time and any further hassle!
Noone is saying the block button isn't a great tool....IT IS!!!
"No thanx not out type" SEND...BLOCK!
Easy
Blocking should never be a substitute for courtesy and manners!
Sometimes I think people use it for the wrong reasons - as just a way of avoiding the need to say sorry, but no thanks.
If someone said hello at a club or social and you weren't attracted and had no interest in them - would you just blank them and walk away? Methinks not!"What's manners and courtesy? Never seen those words here before.  | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle."It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection. Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice? And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing! | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!"Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way | |||
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"If you dont want to say no, dont ask people to have sex with your wife in the first place thn just delete them!"  | |||
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"I do agree with you, and the more people who influence others to communicate in words, rather than use blocking tactics, the greater the likelihood that more of us will message etc. The issue with Fab I think, is that some members get a disproportionately high volume of messages, compared to others, and blocking has become an escape route, to help manage some of that load. Maybe we could have a new option - block and send a polite 'thanks, but no thanks' message. If it was a one click activity, then it wouldn't impose a higher effort level, but would give something to the recipient of the blocking. Standard letters/messaging aren't the best, but are likely better than nothing at all. If all users were as decent as you, ie. not hounding others, to the point of it being harassing, then probably more members would use messaging with less blocking... we're not there yet, so I'm assuming blocking will continue. " Good points! I've seen this first hand (Yes - was once thick enough to sign up to AFF!) where a drop down list of quick responses could be used to provide a variety of instant replies - not all negative - a mix of 'Thanks, but no thanks', 'You're not what i'm looking for' as well as 'I'm really busy but will get back to you as quick as I can'. Gave those busy people a quick tool to get their point across - but with the ability to have the courtesy to respond rather than ignore - without having to respond individually to each message! Not sure if Admin have ever considered it or if it's been suggested before? | |||
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"I do agree with you, and the more people who influence others to communicate in words, rather than use blocking tactics, the greater the likelihood that more of us will message etc. The issue with Fab I think, is that some members get a disproportionately high volume of messages, compared to others, and blocking has become an escape route, to help manage some of that load. Maybe we could have a new option - block and send a polite 'thanks, but no thanks' message. If it was a one click activity, then it wouldn't impose a higher effort level, but would give something to the recipient of the blocking. Standard letters/messaging aren't the best, but are likely better than nothing at all. If all users were as decent as you, ie. not hounding others, to the point of it being harassing, then probably more members would use messaging with less blocking... we're not there yet, so I'm assuming blocking will continue. Good points! I've seen this first hand (Yes - was once thick enough to sign up to AFF!) where a drop down list of quick responses could be used to provide a variety of instant replies - not all negative - a mix of 'Thanks, but no thanks', 'You're not what i'm looking for' as well as 'I'm really busy but will get back to you as quick as I can'. Gave those busy people a quick tool to get their point across - but with the ability to have the courtesy to respond rather than ignore - without having to respond individually to each message! Not sure if Admin have ever considered it or if it's been suggested before?" it has...do u know what happens on sites with automated replies? People start threads on the forum complaining about how rude it is not to write a proper reply, and just send an automated one...they always write a proper reply, its just bad manners....yadda yadda yadda Thing is to not let swinging drive u mad u have to accept ppl to id differently, not right and wrong, just different. In the long run its a far better answer than trying to mind read or suggest tweaks to the site. | |||
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"If you dont want to say no, dont ask people to have sex with your wife in the first place thn just delete them!" You have to get over blocking being rude...that was their no... | |||
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"People moan as much about automated no thanks They want a personal no thanks "oi copy cat | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way "It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you? And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings? | |||
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"People moan as much about automated no thanks They want a personal no thanks
oi copy cat "Oops did'nt read your post  | |||
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"People moan as much about automated no thanks They want a personal no thanks
oi copy cat
Oops did'nt read your post "bloody hell...were u fooled by my new avatar,dos it mean i can get away with being naughty  | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?"what he said | |||
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" And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?" And some need to be adult enough to accept that people will use the block button and they might not get "no thanks" back. | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?"By the same argument u could not get het up about others way of using the site...as an adult dont let it bother you. Right now i have 129 messages in my inbox...we dont have a meet up and i haev answered all from friends. So the 129 are all unsolicited ...do you want to come and answer them for me since your the one bothered so much? (btw i reply to most messages eventually but i will defend to the death the riht for ppl to use the site as they see fit without being called rude) Threads like this always make me just want to delete everything in my inbox though as entitlement pisses me off | |||
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" And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings? And some need to be adult enough to accept that people will use the block button and they might not get "no thanks" back. "Never happened to me yet - but when it does i'm adult enough to accept it, move on, carry on enjoying myself on site and remember to show the people i'm communicating with a little more courtesy and respect. But hey - that's just the way I was brought up! | |||
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" And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings? And some need to be adult enough to accept that people will use the block button and they might not get "no thanks" back.
Never happened to me yet - but when it does i'm adult enough to accept it, move on, carry on enjoying myself on site and remember to show the people i'm communicating with a little more courtesy and respect.
But hey - that's just the way I was brought up!"I (and probably most people on here) was never brought up with the idea that I might one day join a swinging site and might be arranging meets with people for casual sex through a website, so, I tend to look at this differently and if someone wants to block me and not say "thanks but no thanks I don't want to shag you" then so be it! | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?
By the same argument u could not get het up about others way of using the site...as an adult dont let it bother you.
Right now i have 129 messages in my inbox...we dont have a meet up and i haev answered all from friends.
So the 129 are all unsolicited ...do you want to come and answer them for me since your the one bothered so much?
(btw i reply to most messages eventually but i will defend to the death the riht for ppl to use the site as they see fit without being called rude)
Threads like this always make me just want to delete everything in my inbox though as entitlement pisses me off "I don't feel entitled to anything at all! If someone I messages wants to block me - no worries! I won't cry, get in a strop or throw myself off a tall building - i'll just consider then either rude or lazy and in a way be grateful that I can't then accidentally contact them again. And before you say 'that's why people use the block button' - IMHO it doesn't circumvent the option of a polite response before they reach for the magical effort saving button. As for the 129 messages you've got - congratulations! I'm sure many are from people that couldn't be arsed to read your profile, rude, abusive or not your cup of tea - in which case they should expect nothing but a rapid deletion (and in the case of the rude/abusive ones a block). As for the rest? Personally i'd hate for anyone to percieve me to be too rude to respond (not instantly but at all) just because I was spoilt for choice and felt my time was in any way more valuable than theirs! But thats just me! And we're all different! | |||
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" And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings? And some need to be adult enough to accept that people will use the block button and they might not get "no thanks" back.
Never happened to me yet - but when it does i'm adult enough to accept it, move on, carry on enjoying myself on site and remember to show the people i'm communicating with a little more courtesy and respect.
But hey - that's just the way I was brought up!
I (and probably most people on here) was never brought up with the idea that I might one day join a swinging site and might be arranging meets with people for casual sex through a website, so, I tend to look at this differently and if someone wants to block me and not say "thanks but no thanks I don't want to shag you" then so be it! "I guess technology doesn't improve everything! I'm pretty sure people arranged casual sex/swinging encounters before the dawn of the internet - and I wonder how successful those that couldn't communicate politely and with repect faired then? Guess the web and the annonymity it offers means you can treat people how you want - after all you'll never meet them face to face so who cares! Doesn't necessarily make it right though! | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?
By the same argument u could not get het up about others way of using the site...as an adult dont let it bother you.
Right now i have 129 messages in my inbox...we dont have a meet up and i haev answered all from friends.
So the 129 are all unsolicited ...do you want to come and answer them for me since your the one bothered so much?
(btw i reply to most messages eventually but i will defend to the death the riht for ppl to use the site as they see fit without being called rude)
Threads like this always make me just want to delete everything in my inbox though as entitlement pisses me off
I don't feel entitled to anything at all! If someone I messages wants to block me - no worries! I won't cry, get in a strop or throw myself off a tall building - i'll just consider then either rude or lazy and in a way be grateful that I can't then accidentally contact them again.
And before you say 'that's why people use the block button' - IMHO it doesn't circumvent the option of a polite response before they reach for the magical effort saving button.
As for the 129 messages you've got - congratulations! I'm sure many are from people that couldn't be arsed to read your profile, rude, abusive or not your cup of tea - in which case they should expect nothing but a rapid deletion (and in the case of the rude/abusive ones a block).
As for the rest? Personally i'd hate for anyone to percieve me to be too rude to respond (not instantly but at all) just because I was spoilt for choice and felt my time was in any way more valuable than theirs!
But thats just me! And we're all different!"We are, i personally would hate for ppl to think i felt morally superior because of how i answered messages on a swinging site...
AS for thinking my time is more valuable than theirs...i didnt ask them to message, it was there choice nothing to do with me. And we dont have a meet up, so spoilt for choice doesnt come into it...
This is the entitlement u fail to see, you are treating women on here as available because u want them to be...oh i accept it is subconcious, but it comes out from every man who posts this its rude rant...
As u say we are all different thank god | |||
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" And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings? And some need to be adult enough to accept that people will use the block button and they might not get "no thanks" back.
Never happened to me yet - but when it does i'm adult enough to accept it, move on, carry on enjoying myself on site and remember to show the people i'm communicating with a little more courtesy and respect.
But hey - that's just the way I was brought up!
I (and probably most people on here) was never brought up with the idea that I might one day join a swinging site and might be arranging meets with people for casual sex through a website, so, I tend to look at this differently and if someone wants to block me and not say "thanks but no thanks I don't want to shag you" then so be it! "Now thats a man without a sense of entitlement... how you doing | |||
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" I guess technology doesn't improve everything! I'm pretty sure people arranged casual sex/swinging encounters before the dawn of the internet - and I wonder how successful those that couldn't communicate politely and with repect faired then? Guess the web and the annonymity it offers means you can treat people how you want - after all you'll never meet them face to face so who cares! Doesn't necessarily make it right though!" I never said people didn't arrange "casual sex/swinging encounters before the dawn of the internet", I said I wasn't brought up thinking I was going to be one of them!
Anyway, I doubt back in the days of "contact mags" everyone who read them wrote a polite "thanks but no thanks" reply back to everyone they didn't want to shag! | |||
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" Now thats a man without a sense of entitlement... how you doing "Doing good here thanks, albeit with a wee bump forming on my forehead, that wall really is hard.
How's you? | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?
By the same argument u could not get het up about others way of using the site...as an adult dont let it bother you.
Right now i have 129 messages in my inbox...we dont have a meet up and i haev answered all from friends.
So the 129 are all unsolicited ...do you want to come and answer them for me since your the one bothered so much?
(btw i reply to most messages eventually but i will defend to the death the riht for ppl to use the site as they see fit without being called rude)
Threads like this always make me just want to delete everything in my inbox though as entitlement pisses me off
I don't feel entitled to anything at all! If someone I messages wants to block me - no worries! I won't cry, get in a strop or throw myself off a tall building - i'll just consider then either rude or lazy and in a way be grateful that I can't then accidentally contact them again.
And before you say 'that's why people use the block button' - IMHO it doesn't circumvent the option of a polite response before they reach for the magical effort saving button.
As for the 129 messages you've got - congratulations! I'm sure many are from people that couldn't be arsed to read your profile, rude, abusive or not your cup of tea - in which case they should expect nothing but a rapid deletion (and in the case of the rude/abusive ones a block).
As for the rest? Personally i'd hate for anyone to percieve me to be too rude to respond (not instantly but at all) just because I was spoilt for choice and felt my time was in any way more valuable than theirs!
But thats just me! And we're all different!
We are, i personally would hate for ppl to think i felt morally superior because of how i answered messages on a swinging site...
AS for thinking my time is more valuable than theirs...i didnt ask them to message, it was there choice nothing to do with me. And we dont have a meet up, so spoilt for choice doesnt come into it...
This is the entitlement u fail to see, you are treating women on here as available because u want them to be...oh i accept it is subconcious, but it comes out from every man who posts this its rude rant...
As u say we are all different thank god "Treating women as available? Not sure where that comes from? I'm pretty sure the original point was whether or not blocking without responding first was rude? I don't personally treat anyone - women, couples or men - as 'available' - except in the sense that I read profiles, establish whether we have similar interests and whether or not they are looking for people such as myself - and then choose whether to send a message or not. If by doing this I am somehow treating those who choose to be members of a wbsite where they are actively seeking company - then i'm guilty as charged and shoot me at your will! As for the 'i didn't ask them to message me' remark - how very dare they! I'd suggest placing a line in your profile somewhere stating 'Please do not message unless we've a meet up or have requested you to' - and hopefully that might reduce the interest! I was under the impression that most people liked the idea of recieving messages as it lead to potential new experiences, chats and the occasional meet. And manners and morals are two distinctly seperate things. | |||
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" Now thats a man without a sense of entitlement... how you doing
Doing good here thanks, albeit with a wee bump forming on my forehead, that wall really is hard.
How's you? "wishing i could post links to feminism 101, that dams wall is giving me a headache too
nice avatar btw | |||
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"Someone says no thanks you dont look like our type why would you need to message them again? Why is it so important to recieve a what is effectively a 'rejection'. Think about it... It isn't nice sending one. It isn't nice recieving one. It's so much nicer to concentrate on positive things.
Blocking is a site tool it is not rude to block ppl, many do it so as to avoid futher hassle.
It's only a problem to those that can't handle rejection.
Why is sending a polite 'Thanks but no thanks' not nice?
And i'm not saying the ability to block isn't a useful tool - but without repeating my previous post - does it not also make it easy to avoid common courtesy? Use it as you will - manners still cost nothing!
Perhaps you could have consideration for them...they might hate saying no and find it hard, or have hundreds of mails to get through...rather then giving them bad motives give them nice ones...the worlds a better place that way
It's hard being popular! So the volume messages you get directly relates to how you get to treat those that have made the effort to interact with you? I'm not saying those sending 'Fancy a fuck?' style rubbish desrve much time and effort but if someone's taken the time to write you a decent message surely a four word reply isn't going to kill you?
And sorry - but if someone is adult enough to be on a site such as this, then surely they should also be adult enough to deal with rejection occasionally and be able to say no without worrying they're hurting someone's feelings?
By the same argument u could not get het up about others way of using the site...as an adult dont let it bother you.
Right now i have 129 messages in my inbox...we dont have a meet up and i haev answered all from friends.
So the 129 are all unsolicited ...do you want to come and answer them for me since your the one bothered so much?
(btw i reply to most messages eventually but i will defend to the death the riht for ppl to use the site as they see fit without being called rude)
Threads like this always make me just want to delete everything in my inbox though as entitlement pisses me off
I don't feel entitled to anything at all! If someone I messages wants to block me - no worries! I won't cry, get in a strop or throw myself off a tall building - i'll just consider then either rude or lazy and in a way be grateful that I can't then accidentally contact them again.
And before you say 'that's why people use the block button' - IMHO it doesn't circumvent the option of a polite response before they reach for the magical effort saving button.
As for the 129 messages you've got - congratulations! I'm sure many are from people that couldn't be arsed to read your profile, rude, abusive or not your cup of tea - in which case they should expect nothing but a rapid deletion (and in the case of the rude/abusive ones a block).
As for the rest? Personally i'd hate for anyone to percieve me to be too rude to respond (not instantly but at all) just because I was spoilt for choice and felt my time was in any way more valuable than theirs!
But thats just me! And we're all different!
We are, i personally would hate for ppl to think i felt morally superior because of how i answered messages on a swinging site...
AS for thinking my time is more valuable than theirs...i didnt ask them to message, it was there choice nothing to do with me. And we dont have a meet up, so spoilt for choice doesnt come into it...
This is the entitlement u fail to see, you are treating women on here as available because u want them to be...oh i accept it is subconcious, but it comes out from every man who posts this its rude rant...
As u say we are all different thank god
Treating women as available? Not sure where that comes from? I'm pretty sure the original point was whether or not blocking without responding first was rude?
I don't personally treat anyone - women, couples or men - as 'available' - except in the sense that I read profiles, establish whether we have similar interests and whether or not they are looking for people such as myself - and then choose whether to send a message or not. If by doing this I am somehow treating those who choose to be members of a wbsite where they are actively seeking company - then i'm guilty as charged and shoot me at your will!
As for the 'i didn't ask them to message me' remark - how very dare they! I'd suggest placing a line in your profile somewhere stating 'Please do not message unless we've a meet up or have requested you to' - and hopefully that might reduce the interest! I was under the impression that most people liked the idea of recieving messages as it lead to potential new experiences, chats and the occasional meet.
And manners and morals are two distinctly seperate things."where did i say i didnt like getting messages...u are the one bothered by how i operate my inbox not me.
Quite correct about the manners and morals...some people can have no compassion for others but be v polite about it...
As for entitlement, it screams out from your attitude to me and the other people whi dare to be on here but not ask in the manner you deem acceptable. | |||
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"Wow you are all mental!! i just said i thought it was a bit rude to ask some one to meet up and then when they send a pic over they delete and block you, I dont care about being blocked just dont contact me first they block me!!! You've all kinda missed the point here, shouldnt you all be meeting up and having naked fun instead of talking about how the meets are made? ha x" I do think everyone should have a choice of wether to reply to inital mails or not, but once you have mailed for a while I think it is rude to just block to save saying No thanks. We are in a different camp than a lot of members in as, we think if someone takes the time to mail us, then we will reply ( unless I hit the delete all button instead of all read like I did a couple of weeks back so can't reply to those ones ) In turn if we had mailed someone and then decided we were not going to take it further we would mail them to let them know. We think it is polite to do. I don't buy with the whole people may not like saying no thing, it is an adult site, surely they can mail without any problems. They could always block straight after. | |||
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"Wow you are all mental!! i just said i thought it was a bit rude to ask some one to meet up and then when they send a pic over they delete and block you, I dont care about being blocked just dont contact me first they block me!!! You've all kinda missed the point here, shouldnt you all be meeting up and having naked fun instead of talking about how the meets are made? ha x I do think everyone should have a choice of wether to reply to inital mails or not, but once you have mailed for a while I think it is rude to just block to save saying No thanks. We are in a different camp than a lot of members in as, we think if someone takes the time to mail us, then we will reply ( unless I hit the delete all button instead of all read like I did a couple of weeks back so can't reply to those ones ) In turn if we had mailed someone and then decided we were not going to take it further we would mail them to let them know. We think it is polite to do. I don't buy with the whole people may not like saying no thing, it is an adult site, surely they can mail without any problems. They could always block straight after. " which is what i do(actually i rarely block) but im not going to judge those who dont, esp as im not a single woman and dont haev their levels of mail to deal with | |||
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and many others who may be reading this thread..... | |||
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"Wow you are all mental!! i just said i thought it was a bit rude to ask some one to meet up and then when they send a pic over they delete and block you, I dont care about being blocked just dont contact me first they block me!!! You've all kinda missed the point here, shouldnt you all be meeting up and having naked fun instead of talking about how the meets are made? ha x" Totally agree! People are so rude it's untrue. You asked a simple question/ made a comment and some have made all sorts of assumptions! I find it very annoying that some people are so rude. I agree with your original post. They messaged you, they didn't want to meet (for whatever reason) so say thanks but no thanks. I feel your pain. Rude people make me want to come off this site. But good ones like you make me want to stay. | |||
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"do you know in the other thread you started where people were saying "time,patience and common sense".... well the opening post looks whiney, spoiled, petulant, and would send people running for the hills"..... people tend to be here for good sex, not just any sex... and if that means you don't float their boat after seeing a picture... then such is life.. each to their own... and yadda yadda.... they are not deleting for no reason... they are deleting because you happen to not be what they are after...... these is a difference.. and if you take rejection like this then i would seriously consider being here... because if rejection burns a hole in you like this.... swinging isn't really going to be for you!!!! and then starting threads like this is probably reaferming the decision they made..... and many others who may be reading this thread....."Good grief! Yes people can have their own opinion and likes and dislikes. But what's wrong with a bit of fucking courtesy? That's all he was asking for. He didn't ask for a 100 word essay on why he wasn't their type. Just courtesy. If that's too much to ask then........ Fucking hell!!! | |||
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"I'm quite happy to have a mutual facepic send system(for those that request it)...I'm tired of sending facepics myself..i dont have much probs meetswise...but as a courtesy, when ur sked to send a pic(and if theres a reply to come), I sorta think i should see a facepic dont request a facepic if unwilling to send one urself...this in my opinion goes to anyone i message that requests it...so a 'halfway house' might be beneficial " reminds me to unblock you and to send you a facepic in return | |||
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"There's nothing wrong giving and expecting courtesy. People would never behave this way if you were in face to face with them in a club or pub. So I always reply, saying thank you for their interest and tell them if I'm not interested. Ok I don't reply if it's a first time writer with a one liner like 'wanna fuck' or 'great tits'. Some are saying here that the guys can't take rejection and ask why or get nasty. From my own experience there may be 1 out of 50 who would write back and ask why. 1 out of 100 may get rude and those are the ones which deserve a block in my point of view. About 80 out of 100 would write back thanking me for letting them know and actually emphasising that it's nice that someone shows some decency and takes time to write back. " i agree..can i do ur backdoor in | |||
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"I have always been polite and said no thanks only to be questioned as to why i said no. Be adult about it and move onto someone who is interested. At least if you're blocked you won't make a mistake and message them again." Very true Vicars Wife | |||
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