FabSwingers.com forum: Bi wife in denial

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

I strongly suspect my wife to be bi ... At the very least bi-curious but she denies it.

I would not be upset in any way and would prefer her to feel free to be herself ... With or without me ... What should I do

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing, pushing her will cause untold damage to your relationship.

If, and it's a really big IF, she decides she's bisexual, or would entertain exploring that avenue, I'm sure she'll let you know.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

No intention of pushing ... Rather creat an environment in which she feels free to act

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

Sure this isn’t more about you wanting her to be bi?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enerife_Sexy_AdventuresMan
over a year ago

South Tenerife, Canary Islands

If you are the type of couple to watch porn together... You can tell what she is into by noticing which type of situation makes her most wet & horny. Over a few sex sessions together watching porn, try different themes of film, start with some basic tasteful male & female 1on1 and slowly get around to 3somes with MFF or find a long porno feature filmy that has a variety of scenes including a FF lesbian scene.

Even when a woman says one thing, her body often gives you the real answer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *manaWoman
over a year ago

Basingstoke

"Nothing, pushing her will cause untold damage to your relationship.

If, and it's a really big IF, she decides she's bisexual, or would entertain exploring that avenue, I'm sure she'll let you know."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

It's a straightforward question seeking advice not judgement

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seriously? Why would she bothering denying it? Don't be fooled by the number of seemingly bi women on Fab either - I've met so many women on fab that describe themselves as "bi curious" and yet you get talking to them and they're not bi. Many say they put it on there to not eliminate a lot of couples from meeting them. Case in point: I've got bi-curious on our couples profile - some people see "straight" as being uptight - which I'm not, but I'm 99% straight and I make it very clear in profile text that I much prefer sausage to melons.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"If you are the type of couple to watch porn together... You can tell what she is into by noticing which type of situation makes her most wet & horny. Over a few sex sessions together watching porn, try different themes of film, start with some basic tasteful male & female 1on1 and slowly get around to 3somes with MFF or find a long porno feature filmy that has a variety of scenes including a FF lesbian scene.

Even when a woman says one thing, her body often gives you the real answer. "

We don't watch porn as such but there is enough other content around ... Girl on girl deffo makes her fidget abit

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"Seriously? Why would she bothering denying it? Don't be fooled by the number of seemingly bi women on Fab either - I've met so many women on fab that describe themselves as "bi curious" and yet you get talking to them and they're not bi. Many say they put it on there to not eliminate a lot of couples from meeting them. Case in point: I've got bi-curious on our couples profile - some people see "straight" as being uptight - which I'm not, but I'm 99% straight and I make it very clear in profile text that I much prefer sausage to melons.

Thanks for the constructive comment

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a straightforward question seeking advice not judgement"

I see nobody judging.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner worked out I was bi within a week of us meeting.

He has no problems with it at all.

Why do you think your wife may be in denial?

Sounds a bit strange.

Leave the subject alone unless she brings it up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even when a woman says one thing, her body often gives you the real answer.

We don't watch porn as such but there is enough other content around ... Girl on girl deffo makes her fidget abit"

She might be uncomfortable and not like watching it.

Sounds like you have a lack of respect for her.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol..Mrs is definatly bi-prosecco

After a few opens up and has some soft but passionate play with a lady but....

Next day she is bi-denial..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

[Removed by poster at 22/08/19 12:55:38]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maggie was very much hetro until we had our 1st ffm and she loved it within 2 months of it happening she had her 1st solo meet with a female. She now has me questioning if I'm as hetro as I think I am. If its gonna happen it will happen naturally dont push it and dont try and create anything. she may just be appreciating the female form it doesnt mean she wants to have sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"Lol..Mrs is definatly bi-prosecco

After a few opens up and has some soft but passionate play with a lady but....

Next day she is bi-denial..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said that woman.. Perhaps hoping for 'the fringe benefits'...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eamgreen30Couple
over a year ago

stroud

I find it odd that she deny it if she truly felt like she was attracted to women. Personally, if I fancy a girl I make it very clear, I wouldn’t be able to hide it or deny it. Are you sure you don’t just want to believe it yourself because you like the idea of her being with another woman? Because you know she could be with another woman without being bi, she could just want to do it every now and then because it’s hot.

S x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of women find other women attractive without ever wanting sex with them depends what you are basing this on if you have found hundreds of pages of lesbian porn on her laptop maybe you right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 08:30:13]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

It's up to her not anyone else. Leave her alone about it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

How does she feel about your Fab account? Perhaps she’d be more comfortable with you introducing couple swaps and then if the right bi lady comes along then maybe things will naturally develop if she really is bi...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

OP, maybe your wife thinks you're bi and in denial? Why should she just believe what you say? You need the sausage, yes?

Same thing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well OP I would suggest you try a little sausage or if you prefer a big sausage yourself then you can constructively advise he from the first person perspective how good being bi is or isn't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eamgreen30Couple
over a year ago

stroud

Mmmmmm sausage.......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Mmmmmm sausage......."

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"Well OP I would suggest you try a little sausage or if you prefer a big sausage yourself then you can constructively advise he from the first person perspective how good being bi is or isn't. "

Lol ... Thanks ladies for all the unbiased advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice)....."

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Why do you suspect that she might be bi is my first question. What signs are there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

What? I thought was funny and no typo!! What typo? That’s more offensive than saying self righteous !!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I strongly suspect my wife to be bi ... At the very least bi-curious but she denies it.

I would not be upset in any way and would prefer her to feel free to be herself ... With or without me ... What should I do"

Sounds like she’s trying to be herself but you won’t accept it. If the lady says she isn’t bi or bi-curious then just accept it and leave her be. Sounds more like she isn’t living up to your fantasy than anything else.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

How am I biased? I'm a bi woman. I struggled to find and accept my sexuality against a homophobic upbringing. Biphobia is a whole other thing to contend with.

It was a journey I had to do on my own. Anyone who tried to apply pressure to me either way alienated me.

Just because it isn't what you want to hear, doesn't mean it isn't my truth as a bisexual woman.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

What’s a considering message? Or is that a typo for condescending?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

Also OP, I’d genuinely like to know what she thinks of your single Male Fab account?

My suggestion of a couples swap and how one day that might naturally lead into a bi experience for her (presuming she really is bi) appears to have been ignored?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a straight lady but can (& do) think other ladies are simply perfectly gorgeous and sexy! That doesn't make me bi!

What has she said/done to make you think this?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex-wife always preferred girl on girl porn but she wasn’t bi. I discussed the possibility of a ffm but she wasn’t into the idea. Porn habits mean nothing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"My ex-wife always preferred girl on girl porn but she wasn’t bi. I discussed the possibility of a ffm but she wasn’t into the idea. Porn habits mean nothing."

She doesn’t even watch girl on girl porn.

Apparently there’s enough “other content around” and it makes her fidget?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

What’s a considering message? Or is that a typo for condescending?

More important.....where is my typo???

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

What’s a considering message? Or is that a typo for condescending?

More important.....where is my typo???"

OP has clearly never watched Keith Lemon!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP you've not actually said what proof or reasons you have behind your suspicions..... if she says she's not the leave it at that. Oh and for your information girl on girl porn gets me going yet I'm not bi nor bi curious. Think your making a song and dance about nothing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes mine is too. Deffo bi sexual as she’s never told me she is, never played with a woman, never hinted at it and loves cock. But deffo secret lesbican (Keith lemon voice).....

Isn't it so frustrating when your self righteous considering message is ruined be a tpyo ... I mean typo pmfsl

What’s a considering message? Or is that a typo for condescending?

More important.....where is my typo???

OP has clearly never watched Keith Lemon!"

Oh thinking lesbican is spelling mistake?!! And I was only joking! Sense of humour bypass

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oAngelsCouple
over a year ago

Sutton

Maybe she's spaghetti - Straight until wet....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she's spaghetti - Straight until wet...."

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asha86Couple
over a year ago

walsall

"I strongly suspect my wife to be bi ... At the very least bi-curious but she denies it.

I would not be upset in any way and would prefer her to feel free to be herself ... With or without me ... What should I do"

OP what makes you think that your wife may be? If you've asked your wife and shes said no there is not much you can do besides take her word for it. If you've offered to listen and be understanding regardless you cant do any more than that. Just ensure that by you asking that you aren't giving her the impression that it is what you want her to be (if that makes sense) xT

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People come to their own self-understandings at their own pace. When we learn something about most things, rather than just being given facts, it's a very different process. Likewise, someone imposing their take on someone's inner world is worlds away from when a penny drops and we truly grasp something about ourselves. Having a desire to get someone to reach a conclusion about themselves, for your own motivation, can appear like coercion, so should be avoided.

Discussion and open communication can be how we help each other gain a better understanding of what may lie within, in addition to our own self-reflection. Sometimes it's easier, when we discuss something, as it can be expansive.

Your partner presumably is someone that you share most/all things with op. Presumably you discuss sex and sexuality, so I'd just continue to do that but leave any expectations aside. Your motivation can just be about becoming closer and sharing more. It's also very frequent that people have sexual interests in things that they never actually engage with. If someone would never act on something, gaining their own understanding of it might be similar to academic understanding of abstract physics but never actually working in the field or having much interest. Conversely, some people do explore things, never to really think much about them again. This could be something that has a far bigger interest level for the op, rather than the partner. Consider pursuing things that are her priority and interest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"People come to their own self-understandings at their own pace. When we learn something about most things, rather than just being given facts, it's a very different process. Likewise, someone imposing their take on someone's inner world is worlds away from when a penny drops and we truly grasp something about ourselves. Having a desire to get someone to reach a conclusion about themselves, for your own motivation, can appear like coercion, so should be avoided.

Keith Lemon ... would rather eat a dead rat sandwich than watch that knob.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Keith Lemon ... would rather eat a dead rat sandwich than watch that knob.

Think you’ve posted reply to wrong person there mate.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham

Even when a woman says one thing, her body often gives you the real answer.

We don't watch porn as such but there is enough other content around ... Girl on girl deffo makes her fidget abit"

Fidget a bit? That proves it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"Beyond reasonable doubt" is i think the term

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My Mrs says she’s not bi but would be ok with a lady rubbing her breasts and gets tingle when getting her waxing if the woman gets close to her bits. And likes looking at women’s bodies........

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences."

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?"

Secy?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept she isn’t and it’s you that wants advice on trying to convince her she is to suit you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?

Secy? "

Lol .. quality response

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?

Secy?

Lol .. quality response

Karma !! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I strongly suspect my wife to be bi ... At the very least bi-curious but she denies it.

I would not be upset in any way and would prefer her to feel free to be herself ... With or without me ... What should I do"

A chat about kinks when relaxed with a drink about kinks and say you love to see her with a woman. If it doesn't go down well you can blame on drink. My husband hated it so she could be hiding it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/08/19 21:48:16]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *winkleFairyCouple
over a year ago

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?"

Actually yes the line does matter. It’s called boundaries and consent.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ake it easy! OP Man
over a year ago

Burton

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?

Secy?

Lol .. quality response

Karma !! Lol "

Would love to have a mass debate some other time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"May I clarify ... Bi or straight ...who is qualified to draw the line ... Whichever I just want her to enjoy her life x

Your wife. That’s whose qualified to draw the line in her sexual preferences.

Does the line really matter ... Are we not all just secy people?

Secy?

Lol .. quality response

Karma !! Lol

Would love to have a mass debate some other time

Can’t beat a mass debate. Can beat an egg!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread