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Daft statements on profiles

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Without giving names or details away what is the daftest thing you've ever seen on a profile.

I only ask (and this is genuine) someone has contacted me with this statement on his profile:

"please be in the age range on my profile"

And his profile preferences are:

Couples (MM) Men TV/TS aged 18 to 99. Will meet smokers.

Sorry that any of you 102 year olds can't meet him

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

"Dont both messaging us if you have no pictures."

Guess what they did not have.

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

And my personal favourite

" I am the only true master on here not like all these other fake doms"

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

Using the word discreet

Then you look at their pics and you know more about the women they've had sex with than them

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By *wholeLotOfRosieWoman
over a year ago

Pontypridd

Has safe sex as an interest, and 3 bareback pics of different women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen a very long profile text of a woman which said something like "I'm not here to sleep with everyone, looking for a regular guy to have fun with" and she had about 30 veris from different users within a space of just a few months.

Guess she's still searching for The One.

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

"New on here will fill in later"

Profile is iber 12 months old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dolla Makes Me Holla

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

My favourite "not here to sleep.with the whole of fab"

I'm pretty sure no one is looking to sleep with every person on fab lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I saw a man's profile with..

"I only have sex with straight men"

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

‘100% straight guy’

Looking to meet TV/TS

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Always love when they hide their face, but have some really distinctive tattoo. Something like a sleeve so it would be really easy to recognise if you know that person

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Not having much success, with a string of veris.

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination


"Always love when they hide their face, but have some really distinctive tattoo. Something like a sleeve so it would be really easy to recognise if you know that person "

It's when it's the other way round that's really telling the ones who use photo editing and makeup apps to the point where even their own mother wouldn't recognise their faces, but have to blur out the tattoo anyone they know could identify them by

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By *eamgreen30Couple
over a year ago

stroud

I love it when men use the words girthy and hung to describe their dick only to find it’s neither ????

S x

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By *qua vitaeWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire/Midlands

‘Please ask for face picture’ and they have a face picture as their profile picture already.

In a message I was told: ‘I should adjust my age range’.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Always love when they hide their face, but have some really distinctive tattoo. Something like a sleeve so it would be really easy to recognise if you know that person "

I have my tattoos on show but not my face, and although friends might recognise me or family, the people I care for or their relatives wouldn’t, but they would definitely recognise my face lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""New on here will fill in later"

Profile is iber 12 months old "

See this lots haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any profile that insists you send them face pics, but then states under no circumstance will they provide face pics because their discretion is important!

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By *isaAndNicoleTrans OP   TV/TS
over a year ago

Southport / Ellesmere Port

Another daft thing on profiles are those ridiculous legal statements but the one that winds me up the most is the Facebook one.... Someone really should tell them this isn't Facebook x

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

The quality over quantity statements.

Its not like the two are exclusive.

You can have good quality fun and also have alot of meets

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By *ssex_tomMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

No one liners when their profile is only one line..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People posting that the site is crap or it doesn't work but they have a load of verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad I've read this ... all made me giggle!

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By *ack Flash400Man
over a year ago

The Bat Cave

I particularly like the descriptive:

..........

(I'm currently learning Morse Code!)

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By *exyFunAshWoman
over a year ago

Mansfield

Pr the this site is full of fakes and they have only been on for 4 days lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""New on here will fill in later"

Profile is iber 12 months old "

Winner!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I saw a man's profile with..

"I only have sex with straight men" "

Maybe he meant only if their ‘cock’ is straight, not bent over?

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

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By *eading28Man
over a year ago

Reading

The profiles that say 'always reply to messages with face pictures' not sure I have ever had a reply from one of those profiles, oh the irony.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

"
well as long as they are not fussy should be ok to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

well as long as they are not fussy should be ok to meet. "

Mostly they are seen on single women’s profiles.

About the ‘height’ restriction. We did see one, whereby the woman stated, being as she was short, she would not meet guys taller than her, as she felt ‘intimidated’. Biggest laugh? She was 5’1” tall....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my profile states, right at the start, that I don’t respond to one word or one line messages and guess what...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can give you oral for hours and I can make you squirt like no other have seen this in profiles and had it sent to me in messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are about to rewrite our profile.

Our list:-

Must be breathing

Older than 99 but under 21

Can understand Newton’s little known Fourth Law of Physics

Able to provide a verification from Elvis, within last thirty seconds

Deliver Shergar at first ‘social meeting’, which will always turn into a fuck fest anyway

Cock size must be smaller than 2 millimetres, or, longer than the distance between Earth and Pluto

Must be into everything we are not, just so as we can whinge you have not read the profile

Must have less than 4 letters on their profile, or, more pages than Lord Of The Rings, so as we can complain it is either too long or short

Any other suggestions?

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside


"My favourite "not here to sleep.with the whole of fab"

I'm pretty sure no one is looking to sleep with every person on fab lol "

Working on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something else we find amusing.

In their ‘looking for’ section, it does not say couples...yet, they still view, despite knowing we are a couple.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

The most ridiculous thing is the various forms of notice threatening legal action for anyone knicking their photos.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


""Dont both messaging us if you have no pictures."

Guess what they did not have. "

Private pictures?

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


"Something else we find amusing.

In their ‘looking for’ section, it does not say couples...yet, they still view, despite knowing we are a couple."

Viewing means nothing. I view women's profiles. People can also click on a profile accidentally. Plus most people view in stealth mode anyway.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

"

Which one of these is unreasonable or unachievable?

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By *osmicplusMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Ha some of these are classics

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London


"The most ridiculous thing is the various forms of notice threatening legal action for anyone knicking their photos."

It’s certainly up there. I reckon the perves at Sydney Uni are the least you have to worry about in this day and age.

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


"I've seen a very long profile text of a woman which said something like "I'm not here to sleep with everyone, looking for a regular guy to have fun with" and she had about 30 veris from different users within a space of just a few months.

Guess she's still searching for The One."

This coming from a woman is especially ironic.

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

Which one of these is unreasonable or unachievable?"

I think the point of that one is that it's not a single requirement but lots of very specific ones. Not knocking it myself as everyone is free to see and talk to who they want but i get the point of the post

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By *eal_curves_is_backWoman
over a year ago

London


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

Which one of these is unreasonable or unachievable?

I think the point of that one is that it's not a single requirement but lots of very specific ones. Not knocking it myself as everyone is free to see and talk to who they want but i get the point of the post"

And why not? None of them are impossible to meet by one and the same person.

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley


"Another daft thing on profiles are those ridiculous legal statements but the one that winds me up the most is the Facebook one.... Someone really should tell them this isn't Facebook x "

No! I use them as a filter, so I can avoid.

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By *heslimoneMan
over a year ago

Deeside


"A long list of requirments, eg,

Must be over 6 ft,

Have tats,

No beard,

Shaved top and bottom,

Must be over 29 under 30,

Must not be marreired

Must not playing away

Must have a scotish accent

Have veris but not in the last month

Safe sex

Must have face pics

Must send phone number

The list of musts is unacheivible.

Which one of these is unreasonable or unachievable?

I think the point of that one is that it's not a single requirement but lots of very specific ones. Not knocking it myself as everyone is free to see and talk to who they want but i get the point of the post

And why not? None of them are impossible to meet by one and the same person. "

I'm not saying they are impossible i simply understand that a very long list of specific requests "can" be viewed as a bit ridiculous. Again not saying i disagree with such profiles merely understanding that some people will view it as a bit much and so relevant to the threads subject.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Women who will only meet men 8 inches and above.

And all the pictures look smaller than that.

Some people need to learn how to use a tape measure.

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By *ornLordMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire and London


"Women who will only meet men 8 inches and above.

And all the pictures look smaller than that.

Some people need to learn how to use a tape measure. "

Yep, they seem to have the two sides mixed up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We are about to rewrite our profile.

Our list:-

Must be breathing

Older than 99 but under 21

Can understand Newton’s little known Fourth Law of Physics

Able to provide a verification from Elvis, within last thirty seconds

Deliver Shergar at first ‘social meeting’, which will always turn into a fuck fest anyway

Cock size must be smaller than 2 millimetres, or, longer than the distance between Earth and Pluto

Must be into everything we are not, just so as we can whinge you have not read the profile

Must have less than 4 letters on their profile, or, more pages than Lord Of The Rings, so as we can complain it is either too long or short

Any other suggestions?

"

IT ALL NEEDS TO BE IN CAPITAL LETTERS!!

AND LOTS OF !!!

MAKES IT LOOK MORE FRIENDLY!!!

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By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

Most annoying for me has to silhouette profiles insisting you have profile pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get why some people edit pictures by covering their eyes and leave all the other facial features clearly on show.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Has safe sex as an interest, and 3 bareback pics of different women. "

this OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get why some people edit pictures by covering their eyes and leave all the other facial features clearly on show. "

because they do not want to be seen maybe because of their job and or if someone knows them to recognise them

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