FabSwingers.com forum: When does crossdressing = gay

By *tacey4u OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm often pigeon holed as gay because I enjoy crossdressing in lingerie. I love women and don't fancy men but bi cock play with a couple works for me. Why do people judge and how do I convince partners that I'm not gay??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn’t need to convince anyone. They should respect your sexuality. If they don’t, would you want to meet them anyway?

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By *anDare70Man
over a year ago

kirkby

"I'm often pigeon holed as gay because I enjoy crossdressing in lingerie. I love women and don't fancy men but bi cock play with a couple works for me. Why do people judge and how do I convince partners that I'm not gay?? "

Oh it simple ignorance, presumption and loud opinion.

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By *tacey4u OP TV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Be good to hear more on the topic but I guess it's late and sleep time is ahead x

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By *arakiss12TV/TS
over a year ago

Bedford

You'll never make some people think other than they want to think. As long as you explain as early as possible what exactly you are into and where you're coming from in terms of likes n dislikes when engaging with people, you should get your message across.

It can be confusing for some, and stereotyping can hinder.

Keep to your mantra, and take the rough with the smooth. Never take things too seriously or to heart.

There are tons of couples and ladies looking for you too.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

You don't need to convince anyone of anything, if they want to pigeon hole you, let them. While they are wallowing in their swamp of narrow-mindedness, you're out and about looking fabulous and having fun!

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By *ittleAcornMan
over a year ago

visiting the beach

It's an interesting question. I think the knee jerk simple answer is probably the most correct.

On the whole, most blokes are scared of their sexuality, if it deviates slightly from the perceived "norm".

Therefore, they crush it in themselves, and even more so in others.

If you're not a blokey bloke, you are immediately suspect. Liking women's clothes is quite un-blokey!

Though I am always amused at the number of guys, given the chance (fancy dress, charity run etc.), who leap into women's clothes as "a joke"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds dead poofy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nothin wrong with being bi,,thats what you sound to me,,BI

oh n why do people keep mentioning pigeons holes,,thats disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m completely bi but love dressing as a woman and wearing lippy, wig etc. Gay guys generally aren’t into cross dressers in my experience too!

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By *obi_DDCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

"nothin wrong with being bi,,thats what you sound to me,,BI"

Sexuality doesn't have anything to do with what you wear.

OP if people still think you're gay, I don't know if I'd spend time trying to convince them otherwise. Sounds like they just don't get it and they're not the right people for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it doesnt - i am bi but the fact o like to wear womwens underwear has nothing to do with it!

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By *lterego78Man
over a year ago

Here, There, Everywhere...

It doesn't.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

People who limit their thinking and understanding of the world, including the huge complexity of people, to below the level a typical kindergarten pupil can manage, are prisoners of their own mindset. Wanting everything to be black or white, refusals against greys, miss the wonders of the world and probably themselves too.

Much of our personality is better thought of as situated along a continuum, each the spectrum of the many factors that are within or are us. Gender, extroversion/introversion and sexual orientations are the same as well as sometimes contextual and with a range of flexibility.

I'd not get in to someone else's straightjacketed way of thinking, they're welcome to it.

Bisexuality is as complex as most of human personality - we can share our inner interests with others and it can be better than using a label. If it misses someone's preferences, however ignorant or otherwise, it's simpler for us to move on to those we do match with.

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By *sername Bi CDTV/TS
over a year ago

Richmond, North Yorks and Kent

Being gay and wearing lingerie are, I think, largely unconnected phenomena ! Imagine a Venn diagram where the two circles just have a bit of overlap.

I think men who have sex with men is not the same as men who have relationships and emotionally fall for men. This time the little gay circle is inside the big 'men who have sex with men circle'.

Best not worry about it though. People who get it get it and you'll have a fun time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's an interesting question. I think the knee jerk simple answer is probably the most correct.

On the whole, most blokes are scared of their sexuality, if it deviates slightly from the perceived "norm".

Therefore, they crush it in themselves, and even more so in others.

If you're not a blokey bloke, you are immediately suspect. Liking women's clothes is quite un-blokey!

Though I am always amused at the number of guys, given the chance (fancy dress, charity run etc.), who leap into women's clothes as "a joke"... "

what he said, best thing is to not care what they think and live your life

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