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Mental or Physical attraction first

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey

So I know the correct answer is both but I have a genuine question.

When you get into a decent conversation with a profile which should come first developing a mental attraction (ie working out that you click sexually and looking for same things) or after brief conversation share a pic to see if there is enough of a physical attraction before continuing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/08/19 18:17:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I deleted by mistake.

Mrs here: for me either can catch my eye initially but I think mental wins.

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

I doubt not many people would bother having a conversation with a profile that has no photos on show. Oh the irony lol.

Ed

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey

Fair point... I do have photos for friends but think that is more than fair

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

I really didn’t mean to offend, apologies. It just tickled me that’s all.

Ed

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Tried in the past when I've had a really great and well structured message, that's incorporated preferences in my profile and obviously read it. However sooner or later I get the photo and think, sorry no. You actually feel bad for that person who has a great personality, but not sexually attractive for me to want to be intimate with them. So it's much harder to then cut them off and say sorry, it's easier to see if there is an attraction first for both sides

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey

Yes that is the absolute dilemma but then photo too early and not chance for personality to shine

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey


"I really didn’t mean to offend, apologies. It just tickled me that’s all.

Ed"

None taken

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By *aughty Lovers 69Man
over a year ago

Wallasey

It may sound shallow but I think a physical attraction would come first then see if there is any chemistry through convos xx T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental attraction over eye candy any day! A beautiful face doesn't go far when there is not a lot upstairs for me

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey

Not shallow at.. No wrong answer hence the question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical to begin with, as an initial attraction, but if I didn’t find the mental attraction then I’d bail.

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey


"Mental attraction over eye candy any day! A beautiful face doesn't go far when there is not a lot upstairs for me "

The the opposite right review, so general conclusion is who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have to be both for me. If I don't like pictures or the text in the profile / message it's a no go.

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By *hoenixAdAstraWoman
over a year ago

Hiding in the shadows

The physical, visual would catch my attention, but I need a mental attraction to hold it.

Wouldn't matter how good looking a person was, someone with the personality of a tin of baked beans wouldn't make my fanny flutter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Physical attraction turns my head

Mental attracts my mind, body, soul & keeps me addicted

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By *yrdsisWoman
over a year ago

Gleam Street

On here unfortunately, its physical initially for me. But as I point out on my profile, this isnt the real world.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely has to be a mental connection first both here and in the real world, I need the grey cells stimulated first then the rest follows naturally

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has to be a mental connection first but physical has to be there too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It may sound shallow but I think a physical attraction would come first then see if there is any chemistry through convos xx T xx"

general and practical, everyone follows this, but few Express.

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Yeah it's the physical that attracts the eye and the mental connection follows.

The forum's can subvert that, I've seen a few posts that I've really liked and then looked at the profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental.. without question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the real world physical but that can soon change once you start talking.On here then physical isnt so important and if there is a connection then looks dont really matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get into a conversation without knowing I am physically attracted to someone, when looking for playmates on here.

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By *latinumkittenWoman
over a year ago

from Home Counties to Middle Earth

I've turned away some incredible eye candy. A meeting of minds is irresistible, and sometimes why I don't like seeing pics too early and clouding my judgement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually chat first. I'm not bothered if they have no pics on their profile.

They have to send me a pic at some point. I don't send one back.

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By *razoMan
over a year ago

Kent

Connection first...if there is no connection doesn’t matter how hot the woman is...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s all very well, but how do you define ‘connection’?

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By * and R cple4Couple
over a year ago

swansea


"Mental attraction over eye candy any day! A beautiful face doesn't go far when there is not a lot upstairs for me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/08/19 20:11:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m going to go with something else. I think there is some combination that causes me to click. There are very beautiful women on here I am not attracted to and there are very intelligent and witty women I’m not attracted to. Yet there are some that I feel a strong attraction to and it cannot be simplified to the mental or the physical

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental connection everytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't get into a conversation without knowing I am physically attracted to someone, when looking for playmates on here. "

A crappy personality, once chatting, would mean an end to any attraction though... Looks don't trump personality but I can't fuck someone I am not attracted to physically aswell as mentally

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By *inful xWoman
over a year ago

In a sleepy little village

Physical attraction first followed very closely by mental. If they can't hold a conversation or keep my attention I get bored regardless of how attractive they are!

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

Mine is mental first the physical straight after and there has only really been one woman that has captured my mental and physical attraction

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By *ustard_keen_uk OP   Man
over a year ago

Bermondsey

Super interesting wide selection of views..guess there is no formula and so no right or wrong way.

Some people will find you mentally attractive and others will find you physically attractive - that works other way too.. So all in all keep ploughing on in whatever way works for you and hope it is the same on the other side

For the record mentally stimulation is probably the very definition of virtual fun,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental all the way.

Physical only works if you are horny and want a meet right away... whereas having a social or mental connection with someone will give you that motivation to continue chatting and trance a meet.

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By *easidegirlWoman
over a year ago

south shore

I have had the best conversation with guys who have made me laugh .

Then they send a face pic and there's just no attraction for me..sounds shallow I guess but that's how I feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Tried in the past when I've had a really great and well structured message, that's incorporated preferences in my profile and obviously read it. However sooner or later I get the photo and think, sorry no. You actually feel bad for that person who has a great personality, but not sexually attractive for me to want to be intimate with them. So it's much harder to then cut them off and say sorry, it's easier to see if there is an attraction first for both sides "

I totally agree with this. I’ve gotten into a conversation with people due to such a nice message but then feel awful when you see a pic and your not sexually attracted to them. I hate having to say sorry your not my type

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By *otwife for useCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Mental attraction every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mental for me too

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Face

Body

Personality

I mean they have to have a personality but be good looking also. If I was looking for anything more than a lover then personality would be more important to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say face first. Then the personality. When i saw LJ's profile, i really fancied him. It was looking at his posts and getting a feel for the person that took it from the superficial to the need to know this man.

Holly

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Physical every time. I do need a superficial mental connection but there's no way I can get to know someone well enough to form any kind of meaningful bond. Ultimately we're here for fantasy fulfilment and my fantasies feature men I find attractive

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By *r_Jake70Man
over a year ago

London

For me physical attraction often emerges from mental attraction, but never the other way round. I never pursue based on looks alone, and if a profile doesn’t stimulate me I won’t engage with it. I tend towards being a sapiophile, although intelligence can be measured in many different ways. Without a sense of mental connection I am going to politely walk away pretty quickly.

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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago

London

Always physical first. Look at tinder for example. If anyone goes straight to the bio without checking the 2nd, 3rd, 4th photo then I'll believe you are mental first.

If there's no bio I'd recommend to swipe left regardless if photos remain to be viewed.

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

We swing for sex and to fulfill our fantasies, not to make friends or mental connections - we have plenty of people in our vanilla life for that. So, in our case, it's physical attraction that is key.

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