FabSwingers.com forum: Going to full swap

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,

We have been to club nights and ‘soft swapped’ ( we loved it and played with several couples each time) now we both love the idea of going to full swap.

The idea turns me (male) on massively however one day I feel like yeah let’s do it (when we are back meeting) but I do have jealous tendencies and I can not be 100% sure how I would react, which I suppose is the fun of it but I can’t make my mind up is the risk/ reward is worth jeopardising our relationship.

L is very keen to see me sleep with another woman and is actively encouraging it for when we are back on the scene.

Has any other male half of couples been the jealous type ( not crazy jealousy type I may add) and had their reservations yet incredibly turned on by the idea gone through to full swap?

How did you react after the event, did it bother you? How did you talk it through etc?

Apologies for the long post.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Dave is extremely jealous by nature, but found what makes him so, and now we love full swap & group fun.

Trick is to find what your trigger is and avoid it or see if you can talk it through, then focus on what turns you both on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There isn’t any trigger per se, I would be jealous for example is she enjoyed him more than me, I think.

Loved seeing her with others when soft swapping and we love to fantasise about her fucking other men.

She doesn’t want to risk it however I would be willing to.

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By *ud and BryanCouple
over a year ago

Boston, Lincolnshire

Ah yes, the old, "what's he/she doing better than me?".

Thing to remember is, you're together for many reasons, no matter how good we are at something, there'll always be someone who does it better, but you're a better 'all rounder', and we often find Caroline gets more turned on in a group situation than when we're at home, due to the sexually charged atmosphere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We never get jealous, if someone does something different, nicer or better then we just incorporate that technique in our own play together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm jealous in the vanilla world, if a woman is flirting with my OH, I'm not a happy bear.

But been swinging for 5 years and watching him fuck someone else and everything in between doesn't bother me, one bit.

I know it seems odd but in my head sex is just sex but vanilla world is much more than that.

We started with soft and decided there was no jealousy and when we swapped fully, there was no problem.

Maybe bite the bullet but let the other couple know it's your first time, so you can go easy and just say stop if you feel jealous. It's much better than having an animosity after the event.

Katie xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ah yes, the old, "what's he/she doing better than me?".

I agree regarding the sexually charged atmosphere to be honest and some very good advise there, thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm jealous in the vanilla world, if a woman is flirting with my OH, I'm not a happy bear.

But been swinging for 5 years and watching him fuck someone else and everything in between doesn't bother me, one bit.

I know it seems odd but in my head sex is just sex but vanilla world is much more than that.

We started with soft and decided there was no jealousy and when we swapped fully, there was no problem.

Maybe bite the bullet but let the other couple know it's your first time, so you can go easy and just say stop if you feel jealous. It's much better than having an animosity after the event.

Katie xx "

My thoughts exactly but L isn’t overly keen as she feels the risk/ reward isn’t worth it.

We will get some more club visits once we are back on the scene and go from there.

I can compartmentalise our sex life and the swinging sex, some wise advise on here so far.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if one's not keen, its probably best to stay at soft swap, you may find you do it spontaneously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If in doubt do nowt

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By *ikeandmollyCouple
over a year ago

swindon

Only do what your both happy with and see how things happen naturally if you push things they may go wrong.

Molly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If in doubt do nowt "

Absolutely the best advice, think how mortified your play partners would feel if you pushed to full swap and you ended up getting upset

Harsh but true and not meant to annoy you but the phrase “sort your own shit before involving others” is a good way to look at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If in doubt do nowt "

This, unfortunately.

I know it's probably not what you want to hear, but if you have doubt you have to weigh up the risks and consider if it's worth it to you.

You've done the right thing to start off with (in my opinion) by starting off soft. I once played with a lovely couple but heard soon after that swinging made them decide they wanted different things and parted ways. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, expediting the process, but it's not something I'd want to gamble.

Jealousy is a really difficult thing to overcome from my own experience.

I guess you could try moving forward in slower steps and imposing rules to negate the jealousy? Remove any contact between him/her, never meet the same person twice etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you aren't sure yet..wait. You can always do it another time when you both feel ready...but you can't take it back. Is it really worth the risk?

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

There will always be when swinging in a couple a certain element of jumping into the unknow. However much you talk, set boundaries and wait till your ready you can never fully know how each other will feel and react when you do something new. That's why great communication, understanding and acceptance/tolerance that mistakes may happen is key. Sometimes however much you try to mitigate it someone may get slightly hurt. Maybe not even the first time because every new person into your world brings a new dynamic. Sometimes maybe 10+ people down the line someone new enters your world that triggers the green eyed monster or causes hurt or exposes a problem. With swinging is risk. You need to be realistic about that and be secure in your relationship to deal with it. What's important is you listen to each other as much as you talk and remember your relationship is king, priority number one. So if something is not working for one of you then it don't work for both of you.

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By *ouplefor funCouple
over a year ago

near kilmarnock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for the replies really appreciate it.

So there isn’t any doubt in my mind we will be fine, we are totally secure and trust one another 100% in our relationship.

We aren’t in any doubt swinging isn’t for us, it totally is. Have had some great experiences thus far.

Perhaps the full swap will be parked for a while and once back meeting progress from there.

I personally think I will be fine with it all, L thinks I may regret it. If that was to be the case our relationship is strong enough to learn from it and leave full swap there.

Have a good day guys

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By *ornydanabcMan
over a year ago

huddersfield

I did a full swop once when I was with someone. I spend the night with one at their house and he went to our house to spend the night there. It was all night fucking and was really hot thinking they was back home doing the same. Slept very little lol ??

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"If in doubt do nowt "

Exactly - jealousy has no place in swinging. It can ruin the fun for all concerned and destroy a relationship. Make sure that all feelings of jealousy have gone before moving on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well let me tell you how did it started with me and my partner..

We soft swapped for a bit..then added oral to others..and then we find we really LOVE to see each other enjoy with others..

And actually.. jealousy in both of us actually made the orgasms stronger..

It was for me like .. this shag cost me her to be fucked in front of me

lol

Besides the idea of kinkiness which appears on mmfs with every thrust I got a stronger boner

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

The concept of jealousy in swinging is beyond me, it makes no sense yet it happens all the time

I've seen men who I'm going "steady" with get jealous when I fuck other men even though it's their bed I'd return to

I've seen wives get jealous when I fuck their bloke even though she's right there and he goes back to bed with her not me

Fact is that sex with a different person is ALWAYS going to be better and more fun just because it breaks the monotony of monogamy. Doesn't mean I want to spend my life with the guy I'm fucking. And doesn't mean the guy I'm going out with means any less, it's just that I've had sex with him many times and sex with someone new is tastier at that moment. Yet jealousy creeps in.

Rambling, I know. SOrry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant answer lol x every word of it is exactly the same way as i see it

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

We started as soft swap but quite quickly progressed to full swap as we both wanted it. But we have met couples that will swap fully but no kissing or oral as that is too intimate or it makes one of them jealous... so it's not always the case that full swap is the thing that causes jealousy...

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We also started soft swapping in clubs; he was happy for a full swap quite soon, but she had reservations about him going off her after seeing her fucking another man. We'd only been a couple for a few weeks.

One night we swapped with another couple and she just decided to go for it - he saw her rolling a condom onto to the man then getting on top, so he and the woman went for it too. Afterwards we both agreed we'd been turned on by the sight of the other with somebody else and hadn't felt jealousy.

Think it's best to go slowly until you are both ready for that big step. But once you've done it, then full swaps become normal and you experience the full joy and excitement of swinging.

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