FabSwingers.com forum: Met someobe on fab twice who has now sent me a friends request on facebook..quite concerning

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

An unwelcome request as I dont have a clue how he would know I was on facwbook as he didnt even know my surname! The second meet was in a hotel which he organised. I havent responded. Any advice please on what to do next? Not sure how he would k ow who i was as he lives 70miles from me

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

WhatsApp can give that information. Block on Facebook and any other media where you know his ID.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is extremely creepy.

Block him on Facebook

If he has your number, and your number is associated with your Facebook, he can find you on Facebook as a contact.

Message me I’ll explain what to do !

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

I would be going bat shit! I hope it's all ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although not the same I had it where people I'd chatted to on fab cane up as friend suggestions on Facebook

Check your phone settings.not quite sure how to do it but Google should lead you to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And report on here for inappropriate behaviour

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He didnt have my number. I am wondering if he could have had access to my car registration number details as we met in the car park. I cant think od anytging else. I have blocked him on fab but didnt know you could block on facebook too

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Personally if I got a friend connection on Facebook from here I'd block on Facebook and remove the information from my memory.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?"

This

If you met him twice , you must have liked each other to a degree so I doubt his intent was malicious,but he inadvertently overstepped the mark .Explain politelywhy you don't wish to accept him before going down the block route

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calm down hide your pics on facebook (visible to friends and your friend list too) so he cannot try to make connection to your friends or family members.

Send nice message with mix of words used by laywers (not threatening polite yet deliver the message) block him everywhere, and keep his pic if you have address etc in case he do any nasty thing, you have enough details of person to guide law enforcement agency to pin him down easily.

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here .. "

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good.

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good."

But he’s put himself at the same risk ?

She did meet him twice .. that says to me he must of been an ok guy ..

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Great advice already, it probably won't go any further than a friend request, however keep screenshots of any messages and a diary. If they do get threatening, immediately contact the Police on 101 (non emergency number) ensure they know you've kept evidence.

Privacy settings on your Facebook, if any friends or family receive any messages ask them to keep them as evidence, just state you've been hacked.

All of that said try not to worry, it's most likely going to be Ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok men or women do not track their fab meets down on Facebook! Weirdos do.

Facebook is personal with personal life info on it. Such as kids and extended family or even our jobs linked to it.

Just because alot of you on here don't care who knows you're on FAB, doesn't mean the OP or the rest of us feels the same!

OP and the rest of us deserve the right to a private personal life. We deserve to keep our kids pics and other info private and away from any man etc on FAB! To keep fab and Facebook seperate!

Telling OP to hide her pics and info, well most likely it's too late for that. That guy if he wanted too, probably has already screenshot whatever he wanted.

It's not ok and it's not right!

OP report him. Block him on everything. He's behaviour isn't the correct way to go about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see what the issue is. You met the guy twice, presumably for sex and you were comfortable enough to go back for a second meet. The guy probably thought it’d be ok to send a friend request after having sex with you twice. If he didn’t murder you the first or second time then I reckon you’re pretty safe. Just have a conversation with him and tell him you keep your personal life separate to fab and see how that goes.

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By *r_goldMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

If you both had your phones on you at the time, with the facebook app installed, they would use your location data to know you were both somewhere at the same time.

Usually facebook would use he knowledge that it is not somewhere either of you usually frequent, this would connect the two of you and as such you could have appeared in his people you may know feed.

Chances are the guy probably isn't trying to be creepy by adding you, just a polite message stating you don't want to mix pleasure with your personal life would probably do the trick and get you an apology from him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calm down hide your pics on facebook (visible to friends and your friend list too) so he cannot try to make connection to your friends or family members.

A tad extreme and over the top I think. If he was going to do anything nasty he’d have done it in the flesh during one of their meets, not via Facebook. Mass hysteria or what, over a bloody friend request.

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

"I don’t see what the issue is. You met the guy twice, presumably for sex and you were comfortable enough to go back for a second meet. The guy probably thought it’d be ok to send a friend request after having sex with you twice. If he didn’t murder you the first or second time then I reckon you’re pretty safe. Just have a conversation with him and tell him you keep your personal life separate to fab and see how that goes. "

Probably easier for the op to actually message him and ask him his intentions than blocking him and posting on here ..

It might of been innocent..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I have found out to my cost that your laptop, phone and so on link everything to everything else so any contact will link phone numbers to whatsapp to emails to facebook etc. I was pressured into giving my number away for text messaging, next thing I am in a whatsapp group with people then able to see my number.

The likes of facebook and so on think it is connecting people whereas in reality it is an invasion of privacy in my opinion.

They have a lot to answer for.

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman
over a year ago

Windsor-ish

Hubby here...im friends on facebook with someone i met and played with from Fab. We have an understanding that the two lifestyles are kept totally seperate and it works well.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Tracey

Perth

Im guessing he searched that on fb and found you quite quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok men or women do not track their fab meets down on Facebook! Weirdos do.

Facebook is personal with personal life info on it. Such as kids and extended family or even our jobs linked to it.

Just because alot of you on here don't care who knows you're on FAB, doesn't mean the OP or the rest of us feels the same!

OP and the rest of us deserve the right to a private personal life. We deserve to keep our kids pics and other info private and away from any man etc on FAB! To keep fab and Facebook seperate!

Telling OP to hide her pics and info, well most likely it's too late for that. That guy if he wanted too, probably has already screenshot whatever he wanted.

It's not ok and it's not right!

OP report him. Block him on everything. He's behaviour isn't the correct way to go about it."

More hysterics, sweet Jesus, the guy sent a friend request to a woman he had sex with twice. Hardly the work of a serial killer is it. If she’d declined and he then turned nasty then that’s another story but up to now he’s done what pretty much every other fucker on the planet does and live their life on Facebook. Well except me, never been on the stupid thing.

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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?"

^^^ This.

You guys met twice. He maybe just thought it was ok to be friends on Facebook because you’ve actually met in real life. Plenty of facebookers have “friends” they’ve never even met, so it’s not that extreme for him to have asked? (Although personally we’d never add anyone unless we had discussed it first offline)

Don’t get too hung up on him finding you on Facebook. While on the face of it it may seem creepy to you, it really isn’t hard to find someone on there. He won’t have used your car reg for example. And he won’t have been in his un-lit computer room for days searching!

I’d suggest a polite message on fab saying thanks for the FB request but I’d really rather keep fab totally separate.

It seems like he got the etiquette wrong that’s all.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

I would contact him and ask him how he found your profile on facebook. You can use that information to stop other people finding you.

I would tell him you don't mix your personal life with your fab life. I would tell him it is out of order that he tried to add you as a friend on facebook.

If he gets funny or shows any more stalkerish behaviour warn him you will go the police. The police will not care how you met him.

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman
over a year ago

Windsor-ish

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

^^^ This.

I’d suggest a polite message on fab saying thanks for the FB request but I’d really rather keep fab totally separate.

It seems like he got the etiquette wrong that’s all. "

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By *eastAndTheHarlotCouple
over a year ago

Hartlepool

Had someone from fab message me on Instagram because we blocked him on here.

It's very easy to do but I don't want to advertise how, pm if you want.

He admitted he didn't realise how creepy it was and apologised but it totally freaked me out. Still creeps me out now.

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal

Probably easier for the op to actually message him and ask him his intentions than blocking him and posting on here ..

It might of been innocent.."

If you put his name and number into your phone and you use the Fakebook app on it it will scrape those into ‘people you may know’. It’s likewise for him on his phone so welcome to the world of Fakebook...

Unless you dig deep into your fb privacy and phone settings it’s best to get another phone for Fab ... way of the world these days ... sadly

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?"

He could be a friendly guy let's remember he found her on facebook without knowing her surname or telephone number. I don't know if he has been to OPs home. If he hasn't it appear the only thing he knows about the OP is her first name and car registration. He must have done detective work to find OP on facebook.

Also why didn't he simply as the OP if she was on facebook and if he could be a friend.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mass hysteria yet again.

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

I’m friends with people on here who I’m friends with on Fb ..

I like to strike up a friendship with people.. I find knowing someone makes for better sex ..

Everyone I meet would know my real name and a lot about me ..

I don’t just fuck and leave, I like good conversation too ..

If I was embarrassed about doing this I wouldn’t do it ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he had your real name and the area you live in he could have done an advanced search. You can literally put in a first name, and then the town/city and find people with that name, from that area.

I’d have a chat with him and explain you don’t want that, and would have rathered he had spoken to you first.

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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

Also why didn't he simply as the OP if she was on facebook and if he could be a friend. "

Totally disagree.

Why “must” he have done detective work? There’s no way he remembered the reg no of her car just to add on Facebook.

If you are this scared of this type of thing then you really need a separate computer and phone that you solely use for fab!

Cookies are most likely to blame. They track everything! It is entirely possible that the OP has actually shown up in this guys Facebook a suggested person he may know, and he’s not even searched for her at all.

Facebook spend billions of dollars, literally, to make this exact thing happen. To suggest people you may know. The OP and the “guy” have met, therefore they know one another. Even if it wasn’t shown in a suggestion, all he’d have done is typed Tracey Perth and seen her face. Creepy? Yes, but not on his part, he’s just thinking about this lovely lady he met and curious. The creepy ness is that Facebook knows OP went from reading a message on fab, then flicked to Facebook, then back to fab. The guy has done the same. Facebook then realises that “Tracey Perth” is on fab regularly, As is this guy, so if he searched Tracey Perth, they’ll put her at the top of his search as they’ve both been on fab and other Tracey’s in Perth haven’t. Also they probably both googled the same location for a meet at the same time...

OP, don’t be freaked out by this guy, he’ll just have been a guy and done what guys do, got it wrong, read the situation wrong... be freaked out at technology and internet tracking.

There are easy (but pain in the ass) ways to help minimise this which I’m happy to explain to you or anyone else if need be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If he had your real name and the area you live in he could have done an advanced search. You can literally put in a first name, and then the town/city and find people with that name, from that area.

I’d have a chat with him and explain you don’t want that, and would have rathered he had spoken to you first. "

Say your name is Sandra, and you’ve told him this. You’ve also told him you’re from Newcastle. He could type in ‘Sandra’ into his search bar. Then you can change the filters; you can enter a town/city etc. He could type in ‘Newcastle’.

Boom. There’s probably a fuck tone of Sandra’s in Newcastle, but it’s literally as easy as that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It's quite common for women on fab to Google their prospective meets and search for them on Facebook in the name of security.

Several things we should all be doing if we want fab life to remain private

Turn off location services.

Never 'sync contacts' or devices

Don't use the same phone number or e-mail for Facebook and fab

Don't use whatsapp to communicate with fab friends.

Never use the same photo on Facebook and fab.

Never tell anyone from fab your full name

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

He may have tracked you down deliberately or you might have shown up on his Facebook feed inadvertently. But he should have asked before sending a friend request.

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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"He may have tracked you down deliberately or you might have shown up on his Facebook feed inadvertently. But he should have asked before sending a friend request."

Agreed that the etiquette should probably be to ask, however, is a friends request not just the same thing?

Guy: clicks invite to be friends

Other person: clicks yes or no as appropriate.

It’s not like he’s hacked her account and accepted the request on her behalf!

I can understand it may seem scary that someone “found” her, a bit of a shock maybe but it’s really not that sinister.

There seems to be a bit of hysteria about this issue but as already mentioned, it is not likely to be the guy stalking or doing anything “wrong”. It’s modern technology doing what it is designed to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a friend request...nothing more. Just don't accept it. Facebook can work off WhatsApp and add contacts.

At the end of the day we are all on here for the same reason. We have a lot of pur fab friends on Facebook as sometimes wi-fi filters mean you can't chat over fab.

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By *ustjay1985Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Is say if your uncomfortable just tell him. When I was on here as a couples profile we had a woman friend me and my wife it was nothing more than friendly, we'd met 2 or 3 times and got on so I didn't see the harm in it. We're still friends now just don't have sex anymore.

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By *inkyNinjaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere over the rainbow...

I had a guy send me a request on LinkedIn. He was quite proud of himself telling me ‘it only took me 10 seconds to find you!’

Well no shit Sherlock, you had my first name, the county I live in andI told you my area of work - I’m the first result to come up!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block him from all possible social media,WhatsApp and on Fab .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cookies are most likely to blame. They track everything! It is entirely possible that the OP has actually shown up in this guys Facebook a suggested person he may know, and he’s not even searched for her at all. "

Not entirely true can be ditch to computer/phone, but not everyone's cup of tea. Use chrome/safari incognito mode, or duck2go browser never tracks anything

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By *bzcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Not entirely true can be ditch to computer/phone, but not everyone's cup of tea. Use chrome/safari incognito mode, or duck2go browser never tracks anything

No idea what your first sentence means?!

Using private browsing doesn’t always help either, all that does is clears caches and history. It is still possible to track which sites you go to from another one, i.e. facebook to fab, Facebook knows where you went.

Either you need to use a separate browser for fab, or better still, a separate user account in windows or Mac, but that’s a pain in the arse!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good."

That was also my concern

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"An unwelcome request as I dont have a clue how he would know I was on facwbook as he didnt even know my surname! The second meet was in a hotel which he organised. I havent responded. Any advice please on what to do next? Not sure how he would k ow who i was as he lives 70miles from me"
yes the wonders of Facebook who own WhatsApp, they may even be able to track Urls Google Chrome as well I'd be a little wary of that to

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?"

Agreed..plus you don't have to accept the request.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/19 08:31:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No face book account.

Social foot print very small

Use different email adresses & have 2 mobile numbers

Not that i value my privacy!!

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By *oneyjule65Couple
over a year ago

Halifax

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a guy send me a request on LinkedIn. He was quite proud of himself telling me ‘it only took me 10 seconds to find you!’

Well no shit Sherlock, you had my first name, the county I live in andI told you my area of work - I’m the first result to come up!!!! "

That happened to me too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good.

That was also my concern"
Facebook is intrusive it always has been I noticed this year's ago and ditched anything related to it

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By *ryst In IsoldeWoman
over a year ago

your imagination

Most communication apps synchronise with your contacts on your phone unless you make a point of disabling synchronisation when you download or start using the App. Facebook, Viber, WhatsApp, Messenger, Snapchat, Kik.... They will all synch if you don't tell them not to, and if you've spoken to anyone using kik for example, they will suddenly start appearing in your 'suggested friends' on Facebook (and you in theirs), so it's actually very easy for someone you've met for NSA and told very little about your personal life, to suddenly send you a friend request... It's not that they had gone searching for you.. Your lack of privacy settings simply allowed Facebook to suggest to him that he knows you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most communication apps synchronise with your contacts on your phone unless you make a point of disabling synchronisation when you download or start using the App. Facebook, Viber, WhatsApp, Messenger, Snapchat, Kik.... They will all synch if you don't tell them not to, and if you've spoken to anyone using kik for example, they will suddenly start appearing in your 'suggested friends' on Facebook (and you in theirs), so it's actually very easy for someone you've met for NSA and told very little about your personal life, to suddenly send you a friend request... It's not that they had gone searching for you.. Your lack of privacy settings simply allowed Facebook to suggest to him that he knows you! "
so eloquent in your analogy

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By *inkysexpotMan
over a year ago

leeds

The problem with social media is you can search for people very easily now.

Mobile numbers, email address, image searches on Google.

Glad I'm no longer on any but it's not that easy for some not use them.

Check privacy settings and just make sure it's as secure as you want it to be.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all your feedback on this. I will certainly be changing a few things now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so as a person on a swinging site having sex and fun with others its ok to try and track someone down off the site ?? sorry but i find that very creepy indeed just the intent to do so would creep me out.

swinging is swinging ...private life is just that ''private''

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beggars belief how many people do not go through the privacy settings on FB and set them all to private or friends only at the very least.

Don’t know why you would block him on Fab though unless he has totally creeped you out.

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By *ooliganMan
over a year ago

Preston

It's really not difficult... You can trace most people if you have a couple of "digital footprints" as a starting point.

If you've got a mobile number it's usually pretty easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he saw a pic of you that you also use on one or more of your social media profiles, it's possible he used reverse image search to track you down (sounds creepy, but that's the Internet for you).

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By *uicyfruit3Man
over a year ago

portsmouth

It's ridiculously easy to find people on other social media like insta and fb without trying too hard. It often takes no detective work whatsoever, as the whole goal of big social media companies is to use algorithms to get as many people connected as possible.

Just being on Facebook at the same place at the same time might be enough to cause a potential connection if your privacy isn't tight enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so as a person on a swinging site having sex and fun with others its ok to try and track someone down off the site ?? sorry but i find that very creepy indeed just the intent to do so would creep me out.

swinging is swinging ...private life is just that ''private''

Only if you want to keep it private...some of us don't mind who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

swinging is swinging ...private life is just that ''private''

Only if you want to keep it private...some of us don't mind who knows"

yes thats fine if you say that of course thats your choice but think most of these post are about someone not wanting attention outside of the swing bubble

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/07/19 14:25:34]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you sent him a face pic I bet he used reverse image search to find you.

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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago

my own little sanctuary

You’d be surprised how information is passed digitally. Algorithms based around cookies and apps are the most likely source. You would be surprised how common Technology connects the dots. It can be rather complex how it does so but it can be as simple as setting something up with one email, your social media being on another but both emails having been accessed through the same port/IP address. Equally it’s also rather simple to obtain a mountain of personal information through software and even just one message to someone with such capabilities can allow them access. Personally I would say your best bet to avoid these things is to mask your IP and to use VPN’s. Privacy is far more difficult to achieve than you’d think!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have whatsapp contacts i've chatted to here, they pop up on facebook or insta saying from your phone contacts. I just dont add them, pretty simple.

Not sure why people think just coming across another profile on fb/ig is stalker behaviour when these websites link your phone.

Admittedly he shouldn't have added you. but people seem to be blowing this out of proportion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Block them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Facebook uses location information when suggesting friends. You probably popped up in the suggested friends bit. I doubt he went out of his way to search for you, especially considering the little amount of info he had.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

Yes!

Adding someone you've met for casu sex on other social media is a bit of a liberty imo. Lots of people like to keep the two worlds seperate.

If she's not happy for him to be contacting her via social media, block him

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Personally if I got a friend connection on Facebook from here I'd block on Facebook and remove the information from my memory. "

Yep I would not be impressed one bit.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

Yes!

Adding someone you've met for casu sex on other social media is a bit of a liberty imo. Lots of people like to keep the two worlds seperate.

If she's not happy for him to be contacting her via social media, block him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete. No fucks given x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And report on here for inappropriate behaviour"

Absolutely and ASAP

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

Think I would have asked how he found me on Facebook before blocking and then explain you want to keep things separate, I have heard some horror stories of people becoming besotted and jealousy issues and friends and family members being made aware of fab profiles which isn’t good, never been on Facebook myself so don’t know how it works but get the gist that all and sundry would know if he posted a message

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have some people on here that I’ve chatted to for ages on WhatsApp add me. I don’t mind though as we have become online friends with intention to meet. I only chat on WhatsApp with people I would add anyway if they wanted to. Just delete the request. No big deal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And report on here for inappropriate behaviour

Absolutely and ASAP"

Why? It’s just a friend request. No different than on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

I agree.

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By *isa2018Couple
over a year ago

East Northamptonshire

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good.

But he’s put himself at the same risk ?

She did meet him twice .. that says to me he must of been an ok guy .."

The difference is that single guys playing the field are less likely to see it as an issue being on fab. It's more of a guy thing where they would probably be happy that their mates k ow what they are up to and they would think he's a bit cool and wish they could do the same thing.

It's not the same for single ladies and couples in general; I think they more generally dont want general friends and family to know due to the negative reactions that come from people less liberated believing its 'wrong' to do what we do.

Each person has a right to as much privacy as they want, so many do want to keep things secret. I know some of our friends and family would be extremely shocked and not sure how else they would react. I also know that ha ing our own secret and a bit if a different life, that none of our normal friends know about, is part of the excitement as it is something that only the two of us share explicitly.

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By *ultry SuccubusTV/TS
over a year ago

London

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

This

If you met him twice , you must have liked each other to a degree so I doubt his intent was malicious,but he inadvertently overstepped the mark .Explain politely why you don't wish to accept him before going down the block route"

Just explain to him the need to keep fabs in fabs. I'm sure he will understand.

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By *igjig40Couple
over a year ago

elland

"That is extremely creepy.

Block him on Facebook

If he has your number, and your number is associated with your Facebook, he can find you on Facebook as a contact.

Message me I’ll explain what to do !"

So very glad you posted that ! Very useful information, I’ve just removed my mobile number from FB .

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I wouldn't be pleased at the request - but surely it's just a simple case of a firm message to say I've deleted your request, I keep the two separate and please don't add me again. Some people do find the line between friends and fab friends difficult to separate but if he's someone she was getting on with, it's hardly a hanging offence.

Obviously if he does then continue to be inappropriate, next steps are clear but it's not like he's gone around adding all of her friends and turning up at her home or workplace at weird times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WhatsApp is owned by Facebook. If you've been chatting to him on WhatsApp then he could have come up as a friend suggestion on FB then he's just sent the fr. We've had 3 or 4 of our fab friends pop up as friends suggestions o fb but we know where the line is & just ignore the suggestions

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Facebook is very creepy. If you have the app installed, it can search others by stored contact numbers and pop up as recommended friend requests... Can't escape it unless you remove your fb.... Or just block him. He won't know!

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By *ackandJill1Couple
over a year ago

Leeds

I had something similar happen to me, a social only meet admitted that he had checked me out on Facebook, commented on a couple of pictures way down my dateline and mentioned my son

all my settings were friends only!! I still have no idea how the fuck he saw what he saw, he had no idea he'd stepped way over the line and I genuinely think he was just being nosy but it did make me cringe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally disagree.

Why “must” he have done detective work? There’s no way he remembered the reg no of her car just to add on Facebook.

If you are this scared of this type of thing then you really need a separate computer and phone that you solely use for fab!

OP, don’t be freaked out by this guy, he’ll just have been a guy and done what guys do, got it wrong, read the situation wrong... be freaked out at technology and internet tracking.

There are easy (but pain in the ass) ways to help minimise this which I’m happy to explain to you or anyone else if need be. "

This ^^

Technology is your friend and also your stalker in your pocket. It knows where you are, who you talk to, what you look at. Your whole life is in your phone or PC and sites like Facebook use that info for themselves and others (Cambridge Analytical anyone).

The OP and this guy would not even have had to swap numbers, cookies and location trackers do all the work behind the scenes.

Yes the guy did a dick thing, but as has been stated the OP has met him twice, he was obviously of interest to her to go back the second time. Yes he should not have sent the request but should have asked the OP if it was something she would want.

The reaction on here is classic Facebook comments, let's all lose out shit whilst not knowing all the facts and only hearing one side of the story.

So let calm the fuck down, put those pitchforks away, disperse the mob and not have a burning today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally disagree.

Why “must” he have done detective work? There’s no way he remembered the reg no of her car just to add on Facebook.

If you are this scared of this type of thing then you really need a separate computer and phone that you solely use for fab!

OP, don’t be freaked out by this guy, he’ll just have been a guy and done what guys do, got it wrong, read the situation wrong... be freaked out at technology and internet tracking.

There are easy (but pain in the ass) ways to help minimise this which I’m happy to explain to you or anyone else if need be.

This ^^

The OP and this guy would not even have had to swap numbers, cookies and location trackers do all the work behind the scenes.

The reaction on here is classic Facebook comments, let's all lose out shit whilst not knowing all the facts and only hearing one side of the story.

So let calm the fuck down, put those pitchforks away, disperse the mob and not have a burning today. "
I'm always calm

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

It is not unusual, technology has it's pros and cons. I have had quite a number of requests over the years. No big deal I just reject (or accept in some cases). They can only see my limited profile anyway unless I accept.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think some on here already have convicted him of being a serial killer.

If you fucked someone in a normal situation twice and a friend request came through then so what. What is the difference here.

As for one saying report him... why he has done nothing wrong

Explain you don't mix shagging with personal life.

You are 2 single people so there is nothing to worry about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is not unusual, technology has it's pros and cons. I have had quite a number of requests over the years. No big deal I just reject (or accept in some cases). They can only see my limited profile anyway unless I accept.

"
But how do you know what they can see, can you see it from their end?

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By *elshsunsWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

This happened to me where someone I’ve met on here once and played with and then ran into on social occasions appeared in my Facebook and Instagram feeds as people you know cos we have each other’s phone numbers .... and guess what we are friends on Facebook and on Instagram ... no issues we are adults and know how to behave appropriately ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not sure what the fuss is tbh ... get a burner phone for fab = untraceable to other media. Just block him on FB, what's the problem? We're all linked to everything now, either take precautions or except it I'm afraid

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not sure what the fuss is tbh ... get a burner phone for fab = untraceable to other media. Just block him on FB, what's the problem? We're all linked to everything now, either take precautions or except it I'm afraid "
she's on the pill will that help?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"And report on here for inappropriate behaviour"

Bit over the top. Just tell him you think it's inappropriate and you are not comfortable with him adding you on social media.

Lock your social media down so that people can't find you, remove you're phone number as that will link you to your Facebook.

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

"Although not the same I had it where people I'd chatted to on fab cane up as friend suggestions on Facebook

Check your phone settings.not quite sure how to do it but Google should lead you to it

Xx"
this happen to me.. your phone is always spying on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although not the same I had it where people I'd chatted to on fab cane up as friend suggestions on Facebook

Check your phone settings.not quite sure how to do it but Google should lead you to it

Xx this happen to me.. your phone is always spying on you "

It can be as simple as using FB on your phone, have your phone no on FB or you log into Instagram on your phone etc they are all linked

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By *edHeadedFunWoman
over a year ago

Didsbury

But how do you know what they can see, can you see it from their end?

Yes on the app if you click on your profile and view as and select public it will show you what they can see, so on mine it is just basic information and some profile pics that is it. If they can see everything then just go in to privacy settings and change there.

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By *istretchMan
over a year ago

leeds

I bet the poor blokes reading this and shitting himself , i talk to people ive met on here asking how their week was ect . I call it politeness. As for fb friends request dont accept it end of

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By *ob_bieMan
over a year ago

Bath

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More sensible examinations are coming through now the pitch fork mob have split

Don't worry about it and talk to him

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By *lscmnmytngMan
over a year ago

J13 of the M5

If both of you took your mobiles to the meet and both of you had "location" set to high accuracy. The operating system of the phone will place you both at the same place at the same time.

Your timeline is updated and applications that use the timeline will try to bring you back together. (Android)

It helps to know your phone OS.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could accept and put him on limited profile. So that he only has access to certain parts of your profile.

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By *letchMan
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

This

Wow a sensible conclusion, so refreshing when you look at all of the over reactions in this thread

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By *ovingittwoCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"I think this guy was just being friendly..

He may of known your name and the area you live in .. it’s not hard to search for someone on Facebook..

I don’t understand the panic from you Op or other people on here ..

You’re not doing anything wrong by being on here ..

The panic would be he could trace other family members on facebook which is not good.

But he’s put himself at the same risk ?

She did meet him twice .. that says to me he must of been an ok guy .."

We're friends with lots of swingers on Facebook, never had any trouble x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And report on here for inappropriate behaviour

Bit over the top. Just tell him you think it's inappropriate and you are not comfortable with him adding you on social media.

Lock your social media down so that people can't find you, remove you're phone number as that will link you to your Facebook. "

This. What would you be reporting him for exactly? He hasn’t broken any Fab rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you have jumped the gun and labelled a guy a stalker or a serial killer without thinking about how most people are just genuinely nice people and aren’t after anything from it

Just my opinion but I think you have taken it completely the wrong way and like everyone labelled a guy before even speaking and along why and I don’t see the issue if you’ve already fickle each other twice surely that is a lot more personal that a friend request

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is perfectly normal for Fab meets to show up on Facebook suggested friends!!!

Yes it came as a shock to us too and no we haven't been able to stop it completely. We first realised after our very first meet a couple of years ago. First the guy we met appeared in our friends suggestions, then his wife (who thankfully also swings) and so on. I contacted him right away through the traditional chanels to give him the heads up and assure him we were not stalking. We didn't know the phones (apps on them) were synching at the time. Although we have altered all the settings it still happens.

This doesn't mean you have a stalker. I have had a fab stalker and that isn't fun. A friends request on Facebook is a fo pa's but it is not stalking.

I have a few fab friends on my Facebook and we sometimes chat about fab life using messenger. I have friends on facebook from all over the world I chat to about those stupid games I play. I also have family members I never ever speak to. It's the world we live in today.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

No! He stalked her and tracked her down off and away from this site. Onto Facebook where her friends, family and May be kids are.

Everyone has a right to privacy. He walked all over her right to privacy.

If OP wanted him to have her number or Facebook, then that's her choice to hand it over. It's not his place to trace her away from fab.

Just because she met him twice, doesn't mean it was for sex and doesn't mean she ended up liking him. I've had two or more meet ups without sex because I want sure my first opinion on a man was correct. As a single woman I take my safety seriously. As does the OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

No! He stalked her and tracked her down off and away from this site. Onto Facebook where her friends, family and May be kids are.

Everyone has a right to privacy. He walked all over her right to privacy.

If OP wanted him to have her number or Facebook, then that's her choice to hand it over. It's not his place to trace her away from fab.

Typical Facebook response, you've only heard one side of the story and you believe it. I hope you're never called to jury service cos whoever is on trail won't stand a chance with you.

Before knee jerking get all the facts.

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Stevenage

If you’re that paranoid, it’s time to delete fab, delete Facebook, delete Instagram, delete bebo, burn off your fingerprints, dye your hair, get a new SS number and move to a deserted island...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok men or women do not track their fab meets down on Facebook! Weirdos do.

Facebook is personal with personal life info on it. Such as kids and extended family or even our jobs linked to it.

Just because alot of you on here don't care who knows you're on FAB, doesn't mean the OP or the rest of us feels the same!

OP and the rest of us deserve the right to a private personal life. We deserve to keep our kids pics and other info private and away from any man etc on FAB! To keep fab and Facebook seperate!

Telling OP to hide her pics and info, well most likely it's too late for that. That guy if he wanted too, probably has already screenshot whatever he wanted.

It's not ok and it's not right!

OP report him. Block him on everything. He's behaviour isn't the correct way to go about it."

This!!

It's clear most on here haven't been a victim of stalking. I have and it's not nice. Not from fab, but a guy would stalk me on Facebook as pretending to be other people. He tried to message my wife, my brother and his wife too! There are sadly some very fucked up individuals in this world. Someone who Facebook friend requests without asking if for me not ok at all!

Black mail is not a nice thing at all!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

No! He stalked her and tracked her down off and away from this site. Onto Facebook where her friends, family and May be kids are.

Everyone has a right to privacy. He walked all over her right to privacy.

If OP wanted him to have her number or Facebook, then that's her choice to hand it over. It's not his place to trace her away from fab.

You don't know that he stalked her. She could have just come up on his friends suggestions. Yes it's weird that he added her but to label someone a stalker without all the facts is a bit fucking harsh.

I get loads of people suggested to me as friends that I met off here. Does that make me a stalker?

These are words with strong consequences you are throwing about.

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By *ebenhamCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereinSuffolk

KiK doesn’t require a phone number, only an email. Set up KiK with a different email to ‘nosey’ Facebook and voila.

None of my KiK friends have appeared in the suggested friends section of FB.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

"Ok men or women do not track their fab meets down on Facebook! Weirdos do.

Facebook is personal with personal life info on it. Such as kids and extended family or even our jobs linked to it.

Just because alot of you on here don't care who knows you're on FAB, doesn't mean the OP or the rest of us feels the same!

OP and the rest of us deserve the right to a private personal life. We deserve to keep our kids pics and other info private and away from any man etc on FAB! To keep fab and Facebook seperate!

Telling OP to hide her pics and info, well most likely it's too late for that. That guy if he wanted too, probably has already screenshot whatever he wanted.

It's not ok and it's not right!

OP report him. Block him on everything. He's behaviour isn't the correct way to go about it.

This!!

Black mail is not a nice thing at all!"

The OP hasn’t come back to tell us so you, and others, are assuming it was done with negative intent. In fact, it could be a thoughtless action after she popped up as a suggestion. Perfectly innocent if not naively overstepping a line.

How about we hold fire with the pitchforks until we know?

And yes, I have been stalked. It took a day in the local nick for him to stop so I totally get it. But let’s deal in facts, not assumptions first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always err on the side of caution; assume the worst and take steps to ensure your safety and privacy.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island

Whats on FAB stays on FAB

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Block them

She met him twice for sex but he dared send a friend request, what a cheeky bastard eh.

No! He stalked her and tracked her down off and away from this site. Onto Facebook where her friends, family and May be kids are.

Everyone has a right to privacy. He walked all over her right to privacy.

If OP wanted him to have her number or Facebook, then that's her choice to hand it over. It's not his place to trace her away from fab.

I get loads of people suggested to me as friends that I met off here. Does that make me a stalker?

These are words with strong consequences you are throwing about. "

I've sent friend requests to people on fb just to see if they accept. Got allsorts of hassle for it off one person.

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By *gnitemybodyWoman
over a year ago

Onestepoutofthedoor

The stalking delights of Facebook

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats on FAB stays on FAB"

Says who?

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By *heEpicureanMan
over a year ago

Warminster

I’ve noticed when away with work, that blokes who I’m around will suddenly start appearing on my “people you may know” list on Facebook and instagram.

It’s bizarre they’d not ask to add you but all the “their a stalker” brigade could definitely have it wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people on fab really do overreact sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a "straight" lad once who enjoyed it so much that he begged and begged me for a 2nd meet but I kept politey refusing. So he started walking past my work and staring through the window at me menacingly. Eventually he stopped but it was quite and unsettling time

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By *yn drwgMan
over a year ago

Camarthen

Block, block and block way out of order!

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By *moelmoWoman
over a year ago

windsor

Every so often I get a message saying people have seen us on Facebook groups or friends you might know.

I’ve locked the profile down as much as I can and don’t tend to worry about it. I mean we’re all on this site for the same thing.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

bedford

Happened to us don't know how, wasn't friend request just people we may know, they popped up not overly worried as they where people we met who we trusted

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By *moelmoWoman
over a year ago

windsor

It must be that you were in a location at the same time or something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've overstepped the boundary before. I'm usually quite a god guesser of how open someone is prepared to be with me and got it very wrong on that occasion.

I meant no harm, but I feel bad about it, because it was a strong reaction so must have felt unpleasant.

Learnt from my mistake. Though I'm still pretty open and prefer the transparency. It's probably best I avoid talking to those who prefer privacy.

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By *iscreet UnicornWoman
over a year ago

Windsor-ish

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

Also why didn't he simply as the OP if she was on facebook and if he could be a friend.

Totally disagree.

Why “must” he have done detective work? There’s no way he remembered the reg no of her car just to add on Facebook.

If you are this scared of this type of thing then you really need a separate computer and phone that you solely use for fab!

OP, don’t be freaked out by this guy, he’ll just have been a guy and done what guys do, got it wrong, read the situation wrong... be freaked out at technology and internet tracking.

There are easy (but pain in the ass) ways to help minimise this which I’m happy to explain to you or anyone else if need be. "
i had a similar thing happen. I messaged someone on instagram about a tattoo they had and the next time i went on facebook they popped up as a suggested person i may know..hubby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've overstepped the boundary before. I'm usually quite a god guesser of how open someone is prepared to be with me and got it very wrong on that occasion.

I meant no harm, but I feel bad about it, because it was a strong reaction so must have felt unpleasant.

Learnt from my mistake. Though I'm still pretty open and prefer the transparency. It's probably best I avoid talking to those who prefer privacy.

I tend to avoid such people myself. Just doesn’t work with the kind of person I am and what I want from fab.

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By *lascumMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It can pic up your location and rother random people that have been there eg shops stations etc so perhaps you cane up on his

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've overstepped the boundary before. I'm usually quite a god guesser of how open someone is prepared to be with me and got it very wrong on that occasion.

I meant no harm, but I feel bad about it, because it was a strong reaction so must have felt unpleasant.

Learnt from my mistake. Though I'm still pretty open and prefer the transparency. It's probably best I avoid talking to those who prefer privacy.

I tend to avoid such people myself. Just doesn’t work with the kind of person I am and what I want from fab. "

If they trust me enough then it's quite flattering to be let in, but I do prefer the more open book if I'm honest x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've overstepped the boundary before. I'm usually quite a god guesser of how open someone is prepared to be with me and got it very wrong on that occasion.

I meant no harm, but I feel bad about it, because it was a strong reaction so must have felt unpleasant.

Learnt from my mistake. Though I'm still pretty open and prefer the transparency. It's probably best I avoid talking to those who prefer privacy.

I tend to avoid such people myself. Just doesn’t work with the kind of person I am and what I want from fab.

If they trust me enough then it's quite flattering to be let in, but I do prefer the more open book if I'm honest x"

It makes things so much easier. Guys I connect with usually spend time at the house I live in which means getting on with my housemates. I’m pretty open about being on here so it helps if they are too as they get to meet my friends sometimes.

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

A big no no there delete and block

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By *layer oneMan
over a year ago

mirfield

"Happened to us don't know how, wasn't friend request just people we may know, they popped up not overly worried as they where people we met who we trusted"
that gets me “ people you may know” thats Facebook listening and storing all your info

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Erm... he could just be a friendly guy, and not a creepy serial killer or stalker

Maybe just say you prefer to keep Fab and real life seperate!?

This

This ^^^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't get too stressed about it. I have 3 fab people on my facebook. They have never been innapropriate on there. Could be he just doesn't have the same etiquette as you. I doubt it is a sinister add. You've met twice, so he likely just thought he'd send you a request. Just expalin to him that facebook to you is about your family and vanilla friends. I'm sure he'll understand

Holly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The thought of this gives me anxiety

How did they find you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The thought of this gives me anxiety

How did they find you?"

Loads of people explained above. It’s not likely ominous.

OP I hope you asked and got to talk about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very easy to find anyone on facebook, if they or their contacts have poor security you can pretty much stalk them with no more than a first name, a town and a rough description.

One of the many reasons I am not on it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've overstepped the boundary before. I'm usually quite a god guesser of how open someone is prepared to be with me and got it very wrong on that occasion.

I meant no harm, but I feel bad about it, because it was a strong reaction so must have felt unpleasant.

Learnt from my mistake. Though I'm still pretty open and prefer the transparency. It's probably best I avoid talking to those who prefer privacy.

I tend to avoid such people myself. Just doesn’t work with the kind of person I am and what I want from fab.

If they trust me enough then it's quite flattering to be let in, but I do prefer the more open book if I'm honest x

It does pay to remember that not everyone is like us though. It doesn't make things easier for them, it makes it more complicated.

Anyone concerned about it needs to look at whether they want to hand out there phone number. Given Facebook, LinkedIn, WhatsApp all link via phone number and it's only a matter of time before your profiles are recommended to each other through "Contacts you may know".

Once its sat there tempting you to look.. it's hard not to. Not necessarily the stalker like behaviour its associated with. Enough to scare the pants off a more private person though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As long as rules are set. wouldn't have a problem with it, but he should of asked you before anything , friends are friends so what if they are fab friends

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By *xdirtyboyxxMan
over a year ago

chorley

Totally agree.Weird and creepy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many single people have another single person on their Facebook that they shag now and then?

Millions I bet.

It's just a fuck buddy , it goes in everyday all over the country.

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By *inkycreamCouple
over a year ago

manchester

Most would be concerned if the person was reckless or got the hump. Having access to your family and friends for most it’s a secret lifestyle.

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