FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Anxieties

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...

My problems;

Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...

Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.

Am I the only one?

And

Do you have the secret to get over it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Regarding sending face pics - fuck it, you only live once!

I remember a motormouth at work saying that someone told her that I was on a swinger site. I just acted like I didn't know what she was on about

She didn't bring it up again but I'll have loved to know which saddo told her, so that I could give them a slap!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks


"Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...

My problems;

Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...

Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.

Am I the only one?

And

Do you have the secret to get over it?

"

Yes...the solution is having a Zero Fucks Given Policy when it comes to what other people think and also having the confidence of a cocky Kitten in a ring of Pit Bulls

If you send a pic and they dont like you then its no biggie. Im a fat bird on the wrong side of 40 with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. If folk like me then great, if they dont then i dont lose sleep over it. You shouldnt either x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/07/19 07:27:10]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks


"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more"

And you sir...that 21st May pic...just phwoooorrrr!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more"

Sorry to hear about the shoulder, sucks that people have a now or not good enough mentality

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Regarding sending face pics - fuck it, you only live once!

I remember a motormouth at work saying that someone told her that I was on a swinger site. I just acted like I didn't know what she was on about

She didn't bring it up again but I'll have loved to know which saddo told her, so that I could give them a slap! "

I think I would have gone into full panic mode haha

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Being a single guy comes with obvious issues of alot of rejection which makes it harder but I guess everyone might have dealt with this at some point so I'd love some Intel...

My problems;

Face pics - Always paranoid about sending it to someone and them knowing me in real life already...

Body pictures - I'm not muscley,toned or thin. I don't think I'm sexy so find it hard to believe anyone else would.

Am I the only one?

And

Do you have the secret to get over it?

Yes...the solution is having a Zero Fucks Given Policy when it comes to what other people think and also having the confidence of a cocky Kitten in a ring of Pit Bulls

If you send a pic and they dont like you then its no biggie. Im a fat bird on the wrong side of 40 with a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp. If folk like me then great, if they dont then i dont lose sleep over it. You shouldnt either x"

Haha, nothing in your pics looks remotely bad. I think as much as I'd like to try all this out the lack of confidence is a mood killer towards others and that impacts me... it's a vicious cycle

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

I used to worry about not being able to last long after seeing lots if profiles demanding that they get a long hard seeing to etc

A couple of lady friends on here have convinced me it's not a problem at all and the worst that can happen is you cum quick and then after a while go again. And to take it as a compliment that I found them so attractive

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks


"I think as much as I'd like to try all this out the lack of confidence is a mood killer towards others and that impacts me... it's a vicious cycle "

Fab definitely isnt a place to build confidence for anyone, but you can project confidence even if you dont feel it, in your words, your interactions, your outlook.

Are you a confident person IRL? If not then working on building that up will in turn benefit you here x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

I know most of my rejections come because the other person realises I am a league above and too good for them . Once you accept that you will be fine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

We're all our worst reasonable critics. I've had the same anxiety as you. It's rarely as bad as you imagine.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *YC SausageMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I suffer from anxiety, currently off work because of it. And add the fact that I have Aspergers which basically means I’m useless in social situations (obviously there’s more to it than just that though) and you’ll see how it’s not just you that struggles.

I force myself to go to clubs, and I try and get myself into situations where I’m talking to people. The hottub is my favourite place to do this. It helps me relax.

As for face pics, I have one thought about that. And I use this same mentality in my life.

If they see my face, will it change their life?

If someone says I’m ugly, will it change their life?

If I get blocked, will it change their life?

If the answer is yes, then I’ll do something about it.

If the answer is no, then why let it bother me? It doesn’t bother them, so why should I lose sleep?

Oh and I also have no shame, I’d love to be recognised haha it would give me something to talk to them about

Good luck on fab, I hope this has helped somehow.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey Op

I (mr) suffer with anxiety and depression. and i know exactly what your talking about.

Im at this point now where if we were at a club and getting on well with a cpl, i would make an excuse to leave the chat to avoid playing as i feel with low confidence a take one for the team, is my cock enough? i rock the dad bod, will i satisfy her etc etc

Weve had many offers but just cant seem to pass that point.

Mrs reassures me and amazing and if anything my cock is to big as i hit her 'top' and its deep.

Shes suggested i just do it, but them nerves soon reappear

I wish you all the best op

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm not happy others have to deal with these issues but I'm glad that I'm not alone in it, really appreciate everyone who replied

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Now I know I have topless photos on my profile, but I am the same as you. I don't first message in general, because I feel I'm not good enough, and I feel that my photos put women off messaging me. The last message I got was off a woman who just wanted to do impact play for the first time, and because I can't do it at this moment in time due to a trapped nerve in my shoulder, she didn't reply and deleted the message, even though I said I would be more than happy to when my shoulder is better. That upset me even more

And you sir...that 21st May pic...just phwoooorrrr! "

Why thank you. That's me throwing some photography skills about and experimenting with reflected light in a pitch black room. I really enjoyed editing what I did that night, and learned a couple of things

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.

Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.

Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr "

I think this is true to a great degree. There has to be a lot Of "water off the ducks back" with things. Though it's also increasingly disheartening when either people either don't reply or send an obnoxiously or offensively worded no in reply to a message. Also people not responding to replies in forum threads can be disheartening too. I stay out of all the snog/fuck/avoid style threads, because from previous experience on other sites, people jump back either to someone they know or someone they want to fuck and are trying to get the attention of, and ruin the continuity of the thread. I also don't like these "Mr/Mrs X (insert body part here) appreciation" threads, because it makes things feel like a competition where only the biggest will win.

I do suggest, as hard as it might be, to try and get talking to some people as a friend, just as someone to hang out with at social events, so you don't turn up and just feel like a lemon sat on your own all night

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You have to have a strong positive sense of self for fab. It's only a add on for us so if people don't like us that's fine, even after having a social. We just treat it as an honesty from the other people.

Someone said to us at the start of this fab journey 2 years ago "too get four individuals who connect both physically, mentally and socially is never easy" We have given a polite No to others we have met as have they done to us. Don't worry if people say no it's not a reflection on you but on there needs. Mr

I think this is true to a great degree. There has to be a lot Of "water off the ducks back" with things. Though it's also increasingly disheartening when either people either don't reply or send an obnoxiously or offensively worded no in reply to a message. Also people not responding to replies in forum threads can be disheartening too. I stay out of all the snog/fuck/avoid style threads, because from previous experience on other sites, people jump back either to someone they know or someone they want to fuck and are trying to get the attention of, and ruin the continuity of the thread. I also don't like these "Mr/Mrs X (insert body part here) appreciation" threads, because it makes things feel like a competition where only the biggest will win.

I do suggest, as hard as it might be, to try and get talking to some people as a friend, just as someone to hang out with at social events, so you don't turn up and just feel like a lemon sat on your own all night"

Indeed we go to socials and find if you make the first polite move then people do talk to you and that opens up to other people talking to you, tip don't sit down unless your already conversing with others.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

a lot of socials are very clicky too weve found

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I have a lot of issues with body confidence but I just think what the hell. People will either like me or they won't.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

im like that sparkle but you look amazing weve had sone real horrible messages off people about my size

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes just take pics of your best bits and use a professional photographer that's what women do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

dont have any best bits lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds


"im like that sparkle but you look amazing weve had sone real horrible messages off people about my size"

I've had them too but learned to ignore, says more about them x P.s You look great x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

true sparkle and thankyou xx f.k em lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a lot of issues with body confidence but I just think what the hell. People will either like me or they won't."

We all have parts of our body we arnt happy with, even the so called beautiful people, but it's about the person not the body I find that attracts me, by the way you look stunning. Once went to a club and saw a female with an amazing body but when I overheard the derogatory things she was saying about other people that totally changed my mind about her, she might be beautiful on the outside but very ugly on the inside.

Be beautifully you and don't worry about others views of you that's there problem not yours. Mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"a lot of socials are very clicky too weve found "

After years on the fetish scene, socials can be like this, but I have found it varies from social to social though, and depends on the people running it too

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hatterbox 2Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

i totally agree oceanmachine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *otfabcouple2017Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

I'm the Mr

I think we all have anxietys and insecurities about ourselves and our bodies.

I used to hate taking off my clothes and revealing my body, then i started gyming and dieting. This helped dramatically, but still took some time adjusting mentally but haven't looked back. I definately helped with my overall attractiveness and confidence, just had to get off my ass and make it happen.

Granted some things can't be addressed this way, but it's a good start and you will find other things naturally fall into place.

Just my 2 cents

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I appreciate what you said there, I suppose if I'm not happy with my body I should work to improve it, even if it's just for me. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I also think confidence is sexy, even if it's a matter of just putting yourself out there even if u don't feel great, cause hearing from you all and then seeing how sexy and amazing u all are is mind blowing x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top