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How to say no ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/07/19 10:15:07]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classes as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around d what asses as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

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By *rwolfMan
over a year ago

bristol

If there is no connection with one of the partners you can be honest about it, most couples know everyone has to feel something for it to work.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

You can't please everyone.

Sorry, you aren't for us, best of luck to you.

If they can't accept that it's their problem.

(I'm not sure about liking one half of the couple but not the other, I can't imagine that'd go down well)

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

You don't need a rule book Just be polite but honest with people whether it be on fab, in a club or in day to day life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classes as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around d what asses as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

"
just say sorry you're not for us but have fun......... Many will say just block mind

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Never say my wife doesn't fancy your husband but you're welcome to join us that's not only rude it's insensitive.

Just say something like "thanks for the chat, we don't feel we're compatible".

Don't explain why, don't make it personally and don't respond to rudeness from them. If they ask why or make a fuss block

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just to clarify my example of wife not fancying tour husband on here .are not what I would send ... I'm just trying to work out what people class as acceptable .

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classed as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around what classes as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

"

I find this quite tricky as I am naturally very polite and anxious not to hurt people's feelings. We usually go with something like "Sorry, but we don't feel like this is going anywhere, so we're going to bow out. Hope you find what you're looking for. " Polite but to the point and no room for misunderstanding.

Mrs TMN x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say that the wife can join but husband is a no go. That's more insulting than thank you but no thank you to both of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classed as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around what classes as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

I find this quite tricky as I am naturally very polite and anxious not to hurt people's feelings. We usually go with something like "Sorry, but we don't feel like this is going anywhere, so we're going to bow out. Hope you find what you're looking for. " Polite but to the point and no room for misunderstanding.

Mrs TMN x "

Exactly how we feel . We feel it's almost too rude to point blank say no thanks after they show us thier faces lol .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classed as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around what classes as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

I find this quite tricky as I am naturally very polite and anxious not to hurt people's feelings. We usually go with something like "Sorry, but we don't feel like this is going anywhere, so we're going to bow out. Hope you find what you're looking for. " Polite but to the point and no room for misunderstanding.

Mrs TMN x

Exactly how we feel . We feel it's almost too rude to point blank say no thanks after they show us thier faces lol . "

It's ruder and misleading to give them false hope by being vague.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classed as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around what classes as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

I find this quite tricky as I am naturally very polite and anxious not to hurt people's feelings. We usually go with something like "Sorry, but we don't feel like this is going anywhere, so we're going to bow out. Hope you find what you're looking for. " Polite but to the point and no room for misunderstanding.

Mrs TMN x

Exactly how we feel . We feel it's almost too rude to point blank say no thanks after they show us thier faces lol . "

The couple your speaking to or will speak to in the future will have had the same problem with other couples. Everyone on here has had to reject someone one way or another.

Mutual attraction isn't easy when it's 4 way. Hard enough as it is when only 2 people but 4.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Nice but not for us.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As newbies we are slightly unsure on the protocol of saying no to people .

For example

After chatting for a bit getting on great and swapping pics.

You realise they are not for you....

How exactly do you explain this .. is a simple no thanks classed as Rude as 10 minutes ago you were getting on great.

How about . My wife doesnt fancy your husband but your still welcome to join us ...

I just cant quite get my head around what classes as rude or is it to be expected as we are all on here for one thing (albeit several different versions)

And is it the same in clubs if you make small talk is that leading someone on ,when you quite clearly know nothing is going to happen .

Just want to be clear as there isnt exactly a rulebook for this sort of thing

I find this quite tricky as I am naturally very polite and anxious not to hurt people's feelings. We usually go with something like "Sorry, but we don't feel like this is going anywhere, so we're going to bow out. Hope you find what you're looking for. " Polite but to the point and no room for misunderstanding.

Mrs TMN x

Exactly how we feel . We feel it's almost too rude to point blank say no thanks after they show us thier faces lol .

It's ruder and misleading to give them false hope by being vague. "

Appreciate the advice .cheers

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By *ovelifelovefuntimesMan
over a year ago

Where ever I lay my hat

Just be straight. Attraction is a must. Grown ups understand that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Delete message and block them, harsh but it's the best way I've found

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything but ghosting...

That's by far the most frustrating thing on here.

Let them know.

When I've been told I log it into the personal notes so that I don't bother again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/07/19 11:11:38]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swap pics early on rather than after you’ve chatted for a while, a simple “not for us thanks” will then suffice x

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