FabSwingers.com forum: Jealousy (hotwife)

By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Just recently (since I got a regular bf) my hubby has seemed to have a little of the green eyed monster.. I think it’s cute and obviously means he cares, and the sex is amazing when I come back to him but this one really seems to have wound him up..

Anyone else had similar?

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

From boyfriends perspective hubby quite rightly had concerns when his hot wife started asking to stay over or more on own meets with me...

We all get on well and sat down and chatted through....she feels she can let go more when on our own and enjoy things he's not into more...but equally loves the times he watches or joins in...

Now fully rest assured I'm no threat at all things have moved on incredibly...

Bottom line....openess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you see him(bf) more that you see him (hubby)?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do you see him(bf) more than you see him (hubby)?"

Even further do you think more about him (bf) than you think about him (hubby)?

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"From boyfriends perspective hubby quite rightly had concerns when his hot wife started asking to stay over or more on own meets with me...

We all get on well and sat down and chatted through....she feels she can let go more when on our own and enjoy things he's not into more...but equally loves the times he watches or joins in...

Now fully rest assured I'm no threat at all things have moved on incredibly...

Bottom line....openess"

Thank you, I agree and try to reassure as much as I can x

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Do you see him(bf) more than you see him (hubby)?

Even further do you think more about him (bf) than you think about him (hubby)?"

No I don’t see him more, but as it’s new and exciting yes I do think about him a lot, still love hubby only. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine jealousy is fairly normal in this situation as they say it makes the reclaim sex better. But if it's getting to a point where your hubby is getting too jealous and unhappy about it, discuss it with him and see if he's genuinely happy for you to continue playing with this guy? Make sure you're all in the same boat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine Hubby is so proud of you. He's probably not quite sure how to react. That is the beauty of the head fuck he is experiencing. He is wrestling with the fact that he is playing with the fire of cuckold. Yes, like most people say chat it through as that is part of the spice of it. Resentment can build if you don't and it could be something really simple that is bothering him.

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

"I imagine jealousy is fairly normal in this situation as they say it makes the reclaim sex better. But if it's getting to a point where your hubby is getting too jealous and unhappy about it, discuss it with him and see if he's genuinely happy for you to continue playing with this guy? Make sure you're all in the same boat.

Exactly this, any genuine boyfriend/ bull of a hot wife scenario will appreciate and understand the dynamics of these incredible relationships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

That’s the thing one minute he’s not and the next he’s encouraging me, it’s quite hot but a bit of a head mess situation lol

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

Twice a week, it’s not for everyone and this is our first real attempt at it

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

Need to understand what are you both getting out of this and each others limits...

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"I imagine Hubby is so proud of you. He's probably not quite sure how to react. That is the beauty of the head fuck he is experiencing. He is wrestling with the fact that he is playing with the fire of cuckold. Yes, like most people say chat it through as that is part of the spice of it. Resentment can build if you don't and it could be something really simple that is bothering him."

Oh I know he’s proud but if the resentment starts we will have to think about other options

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

Twice a week, it’s not for everyone and this is our first real attempt at it"

It may be that he's struggling with the attention and head space that you're giving the new bf.

For you it's fun and thrilling, for him, it might be a case of reconciling the reality of the situation; being left alone, the insecurity of what you're feeling and thinking, with the fantasy and pleasure of you coming back.

Talk about it, listen to his concerns. It may be that he is struggling with it but doesn't want to ruin it for you.

Give him a clear understanding that he's your priority and if he's unhappy for any reason that you'll stop (as I'm assuming you would).

I think that a lot of people misunderstand the cuck/stag role in this dynamic and it can get lost in the pleasure/pain.

I hope you work it out.

Tea

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

Twice a week, it’s not for everyone and this is our first real attempt at it

It may be that he's struggling with the attention and head space that you're giving the new bf.

Talk about it, listen to his concerns. It may be that he is struggling with it but doesn't want to ruin it for you.

Give him a clear understanding that he's your priority and if he's unhappy for any reason that you'll stop (as I'm assuming you would).

I think that a lot of people misunderstand the cuck/stag role in this dynamic and it can get lost in the pleasure/pain.

I hope you work it out.

Tea"

Thank you, I think this is spot on x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Twice a week!

Why?

Try twice a month and concentrate on your hubby ...he will feel appreciated and wanted then when it comes down to your FB it will be more exciting rather than normal.

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Twice a week!

Why?

Try twice a month and concentrate on your hubby ...he will feel appreciated and wanted then when it comes down to your FB it will be more exciting rather than normal."

Because that’s what we agreed upon before hand, it isn’t done without consent..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Obviously he's not comfortable.

So as folk have said chat and ask about boundaries ..Twice a week is more like an affair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

This is my thought. I couldn’t handle it, It would tear me to pieces.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think if one partner is jealous it's disrespectful of their feelings for the other to say it's cute it's cute and shows they care. If you need jealousy to prove he loves you both need another way to get that proof

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

Frequency isn't an issue if all boundaries are known...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Obviously he's not comfortable.

So as folk have said chat and ask about boundaries ..Twice a week is more like an affair"

I have to agree with this.

Me and my wife only play together and I couldn't do what you guys do but I find it interesting to read about it.

When it comes to meets / going to the club me and my wife maybe get 2 a month. That's because we both work full time have normal life commitments, family, vanilla friends etc. Just putting aside 1 night a week for our date night takes planning.

To see your BF / FB twice every week definitely seems excessive and more like the type of time people devote to an affair. Taking that into account I can totally see why it's frying your husband's head.

Good luck I hope it all works out x

Jay

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By *ood girl2010Couple
over a year ago

crewe

"Obviously he's not comfortable.

So as folk have said chat and ask about boundaries ..Twice a week is more like an affair"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Frequency isn't an issue if all boundaries are known...

Emotions know no bounds. Something is sure to arise with such frequent encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you manage to come to an agreement that makes you both happy OP.

I do agree with the others that twice a week seems too much but if that's what you've decided then fair enough, like I said, just have a chat and go through everything you possibly can so you know where you both stand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the minute you refer to the other guy as your boyfriend is when it’s time to move on. I get the whole sex with strangers thing but calling somebody a boyfriend or girlfriend and seeing them very regularly adds feelings and emotions into it which is bound to make your husband feel a bit dejected. Could you stop seeing this other guy today and not give him a second thought?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/19 10:10:11]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

I understand your point but I think you're missing/not understanding the hot wife dynamic that this situation is based around.

For many couples this scenario is what excites them, you may not like it or find it uncomfortable, for others don't and won't.

The OP isn't asking for judgement of their lifestyle, they're asking for help with the situation.

Tea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes the couple i was seeing when she used to come to mine for the weekend he used to pounce on her on the Sunday night soon as she walked thro the door it helped them so much the green eyed monster but it worked good for all of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the minute you refer to the other guy as your boyfriend is when it’s time to move on. I get the whole sex with strangers thing but calling somebody a boyfriend or girlfriend and seeing them very regularly adds feelings and emotions into it which is bound to make your husband feel a bit dejected. Could you stop seeing this other guy today and not give him a second thought?"

I was just about to type exactly this. Referring to a swinging partner as a 'boyfriend' is red flag 1. That your husband is uncomfortable, to put it neutrally, is red flag 2. Twice a week is a relationship and red flag 3.

So the question for you is which relationship is more important. As my advice is you need to choose one or other.

I do not envy your situation, but you need to be decisive.

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By *wist my nipplesCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

From my perspective (Mr), it doesn’t matter what’s agreed beforehand if people’s feelings change. Jealousy can be fun but if it’s realky getting to your husband, then in my respectful view, this relationship with the bf needs to stop, or change. Mrs is loving playing with a few guys just now, but I know I’d struggle with anything regular with one guy - but that’s just our dynamic. I think dismissing his feelings as cute is maybe a mistake, I notice he’s not posting - is he reading this thread? Nobody’s done anything wrong but I feel you’re in a dangerous place and whatever is going in needs sorted ASAP. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

I understand your point but I think you're missing/not understanding the hot wife dynamic that this situation is based around.

For many couples this scenario is what excites them, you may not like it or find it uncomfortable, for others don't and won't.

The OP isn't asking for judgement of their lifestyle, they're asking for help with the situation.

Tea"

There have been recommendations to cut down the frequency of visits. That’s surely the only thing that can be done in this situation. (Unless he we’re to get involved himself)

Twice a week is rather frequent, it doesn’t take much for feelings to develop: add frequent sex to the mix - you know the results.

The op’s other half may be feeling jealous for good reason.

If cutting down or cutting the fb out entirely is not something the op can imagine doing, it may have already morphed into something more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

I understand your point but I think you're missing/not understanding the hot wife dynamic that this situation is based around.

For many couples this scenario is what excites them, you may not like it or find it uncomfortable, for others don't and won't.

The OP isn't asking for judgement of their lifestyle, they're asking for help with the situation.

Tea

There have been recommendations to cut down the frequency of visits. That’s surely the only thing that can be done in this situation. (Unless he we’re to get involved himself)

Twice a week is rather frequent, it doesn’t take much for feelings to develop: add frequent sex to the mix - you know the results.

The op’s other half may be feeling jealous for good reason.

If cutting down or cutting the fb out entirely is not something the op can imagine doing, it may have already morphed into something more.

were*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

I understand your point but I think you're missing/not understanding the hot wife dynamic that this situation is based around.

For many couples this scenario is what excites them, you may not like it or find it uncomfortable, for others don't and won't.

The OP isn't asking for judgement of their lifestyle, they're asking for help with the situation.

Tea

There have been recommendations to cut down the frequency of visits. That’s surely the only thing that can be done in this situation. (Unless he we’re to get involved himself)

Twice a week is rather frequent, it doesn’t take much for feelings to develop: add frequent sex to the mix - you know the results.

The op’s other half may be feeling jealous for good reason.

If cutting down or cutting the fb out entirely is not something the op can imagine doing, it may have already morphed into something more.

I'm not refuting your points nor others, I'm simply stating to the person who's post I responded to; for many people this dynamic works and works well. Just because 'you' wouldn't do it, is no barrier to others.

A little bit of "your kink isn't my kink but that's OK", goes a long way.

Tea

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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago

Bickliegh

A rethink required here we think all the best x

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By *ood girl2010Couple
over a year ago

crewe

"From my perspective (Mr), it doesn’t matter what’s agreed beforehand if people’s feelings change. Jealousy can be fun but if it’s realky getting to your husband, then in my respectful view, this relationship with the bf needs to stop, or change. Mrs is loving playing with a few guys just now, but I know I’d struggle with anything regular with one guy - but that’s just our dynamic. I think dismissing his feelings as cute is maybe a mistake, I notice he’s not posting - is he reading this thread? Nobody’s done anything wrong but I feel you’re in a dangerous place and whatever is going in needs sorted ASAP. Good luck! "

you are so right I was going to say something the same. if it carrys on she will lose her husband and end it for what a bit of sex not worth it

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

"Frequency isn't an issue if all boundaries are known...

Emotions know no bounds. Something is sure to arise with such frequent encounters. "

I've been fortunate enough to have been a bull / boyfriend / lover to a hot wife couple for over 2 yrs now and it could be once a month or 10 times depending on everyones time.

i see her on own or both together (he prefers to watch more than join in).

Ultimately I respect them both and value our friendship to ever think it's more than it is...

Pssss I can give her back lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

there's no jealousy in our cuckold life in fact hes just as eager for me to meet other as I am ...the jealousy side of cuckold is very much a by product of the porn industry ....

Of all the cuckold couples we know not one of them play with the jealousy side of things its playing with fire we are all very long term married people who have seen so so many newbie's split up because they got it all wrong from the start cuckolding is about both of you and to please both of you....

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By *risrugbyfanMan
over a year ago

yate

Would the OP think it was cute if her hubby had a gf he saw twice aweek ?

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By *ooskiMan
over a year ago

south coast

Sit down and share open honest conversation......respect each others concerns and feelings...outcome whatever that may be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

Never got our head around it either, but each to there own

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Ok it seems some of you are painting me out to be a monster lol, so first off this was all hubbies idea and he had to really talk me into it (not that I mind now), I’m asking if there’s ways to address his jealousy and make him at ease a bit more Is all.. maybe twice a week is too much but if he said no of course I wouldn’t do it, and to try to shame us for what we do as some seem to be doing on this thread is frankly unexpected given the site we are all on

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Poor choice of words should say fb not bf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok it seems some of you are painting me out to be a monster lol, so first off this was all hubbies idea and he had to really talk me into it (not that I mind now), I’m asking if there’s ways to address his jealousy and make him at ease a bit more Is all.. maybe twice a week is too much but if he said no of course I wouldn’t do it, and to try to shame us for what we do as some seem to be doing on this thread is frankly unexpected given the site we are all on

Maybe the fantasy your hubby had is totally different to the reality of you basically having a relationship with the other guy. The best thing for you to do is ask your husband what he wants you to do. If he asked you to stop seeing the other guy completely could you do it without giving it a second thought?

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By *p for fun 250172Couple
over a year ago

hull

It will end in tears if u carry on,dump ya new guy and concentrate of ya hubby.

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Yes I could

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"It will end in tears if u carry on,dump ya new guy and concentrate of ya hubby."

My hubby is why I’m doing this in the first place, if he didn’t get a little jealous I’d be worried, but he has nothing to worry about from my end

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope that my posts hadn’t come across that way. I know that this may sound rather counter-intuitive though, having a more varied selection, opposed to the one guy may help? It means that there’s no room for anything to develop emotionally.

What was it that your husband had desired from this scenario? Does he ever get involved himself?

It is likely that his imagination has tricked him into this situation and, the reality is far from what he’d imagined.

It is rather unfortunate for you to have to stop if you’re having fun.

I’m guessing that you’ve both been to clubs before and played with others?

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By *averockrockMan
over a year ago

swindon

I would be jealous too but then this is the hotwife scenario isn’t it? Check with him if he feels comfortable and if not cut short with the third one or reduce the meet with the same guy!

he will appreciate

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By *uzz And WoodyCouple
over a year ago

Maidstone

Please don’t take this the wrong way OP but maybe if we heard a reply from hubby on here? I’m sure he has the answer you seek. The question is do you want to hear/believe it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I could "

Well do it then, it’ll show your husband that you’re not emotionally attached. You say you’re only doing it for him so you could also stop it for him too. Plenty more fish in the sea if you both want to carry on doing it.

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Yes I could

That’s the point of my whole message, I’ll drop this guy and he’ll ask me to see him again a day later, when the horn grabs him lol

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By *averockrockMan
over a year ago

swindon

He is testing you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I could

That’s the point of my whole message, I’ll drop this guy and he’ll ask me to see him again a day later, when the horn grabs him lol"

If that’s the case, tell him to deal with it and proceed to see your fb

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By *limmatureguyMan
over a year ago

Tonbridge

Perhaps if you put your husband in charge of the diary, so you only see your fb when your husband arranges it. That way he would see he is in control of the situation and can stop it or pause if he wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It will end in tears if u carry on,dump ya new guy and concentrate of ya hubby.

My hubby is why I’m doing this in the first place, if he didn’t get a little jealous I’d be worried, but he has nothing to worry about from my end

"
why would you want him to get jealous tho?

Horny yes but not jealous ?

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"It will end in tears if u carry on,dump ya new guy and concentrate of ya hubby.

My hubby is why I’m doing this in the first place, if he didn’t get a little jealous I’d be worried, but he has nothing to worry about from my end

why would you want him to get jealous tho?

Horny yes but not jealous ?

Simple answer to that one is I don’t want him to get jealous as I know he has no need to, but jealousy is a perfectly normal reaction when you love someone and they’re getting attention from someone else, if he didn’t care then we’d have problems. No?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a hot wife but doughnut is a 'hot husband' if that's ever a thing.

He had a regular fb and we joke she's both our girlfriend as we all hang out together and sometimes play together but I'm equally happy for him to go off with her.

At the start I did see the green eyed monster rear her head a little because even though we discussed it at length, once in reality it was entirely different.

We all meet on average about once a week and she's been on holiday with her, where boundaries were set and moved according to how we all felt.

The moment I don't feel easy about something we all discuss it and she is very much in the loop with it all.

When we meet up it might be just a afternoon hanging out but no sex or it might be full on sex.

Doughnut listens to me and any concerns I have we talk it through, if ever I said I wanted him to stop etc he would in a heartbeat.

Danish x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

I agree, when does swinging become something else? Regular = relationship to me.

Obvs thats just me, much respect to those who can handle it though x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We been swinging 20 ++ years 95% of that was hotwife fun that we both wanted there is no jealousy in hotwife fun the idea should be both of yours if hes getting jealous then its not right for him ?? the day my hubs or I get jealous is the day we give in and go back to the vanilla world.... jealousy destroys relationships not build them ... oh and by the way no one is saying your a monster everyone is saying that your hubs being jealous is not right

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?

I agree, when does swinging become something else? Regular = relationship to me.

Obvs thats just me, much respect to those who can handle it though x"

I have sexual relationships with regular guys that know me and my hubs but that's just it ''sexual'' the moment anyone becomes clingy or emotional they are out the door like a shot so yes regular can and does work as long as the ground rule are laid in the first place

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By *tarbeckCouple
over a year ago

york

"I think if one partner is jealous it's disrespectful of their feelings for the other to say it's cute it's cute and shows they care. If you need jealousy to prove he loves you both need another way to get that proof"

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Am I the only one hearing alarm bells !!

As the song goes!

There maybe trouble ahead !!

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By *lixir of lifeMan
over a year ago

knob Creek

Respect your marriage!!

First and foremost x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/07/19 09:25:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s the point of my whole message, I’ll drop this guy and he’ll ask me to see him again a day later, when the horn grabs him lol

Go for it then and say bollocks to all the sanctimonious and wannabe relationship counsellor’s advice in here. As for the comments relating to the frequency of your meets, we’d say bollocks to that as well! A bit of the green eyed monster coming out in what some people think they’re providing as advice. You both know what you’re doing and know what the consequences will be if established boundaries are broken; go for it and enjoy. New fb might get boring anyway, find another one as a backup. Can someone print us off a counselling certificate too now please? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been the guy a hubby was unsure of. After time when his wife would be delivered to me I would notice he hung around a bit instead of leaving. She told me his interest was getting more in what we did, not just from a sexual view but how she felt when with/ leaving me to go home etc. We all eventually sat down and talked for the time it took to convince him.

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By *exy BeckyCouple
over a year ago

Bergerac, France

That’s the point of my whole message, I’ll drop this guy and he’ll ask me to see him again a day later, when the horn grabs him lol

Without doubt, this is the best advice on this thread. Couldn't have put it better...

The OP was asking for advice on the jealousy issue and several posters have given that in a sensible way.

As to people saying it's too often etc, the OP has said that it's within the agreed scheme of things.

They know what they want and what the risks are. I don't feel able to dictate their choice, they can obviously read the situation well enough

Hot wife and cuckold often have a blurred line.

For us, the jealousy issue is monitored regularly and luckily it's never been a problem.

The whole dynamic of this lifestyle is extremely complex and can't be judged on one element.

And as was said earlier, what's good for one is poison for another.

Jealousy is often part on the thrill and as long as it's regulated, it will provide an extra kick in the relationship.

Bearing all that in mind, our advice is still to go for it...

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By *risrugbyfanMan
over a year ago

yate

Would love the ops hubby to come on and comment so we can hear from him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can never get my head round a wife or hubby having a regular FB.

Only thing regular in a marriage should be the husband and wife.

Yeah still meet others but how regular is regular?"

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"Would love the ops hubby to come on and comment so we can hear from him ."

This

At the end of the day it is how he feels and / or thinks about it that matters; not what the counselors on here are assuming.

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

That’s the point of my whole message, I’ll drop this guy and he’ll ask me to see him again a day later, when the horn grabs him lol

Without doubt, this is the best advice on this thread. Couldn't have put it better...

The OP was asking for advice on the jealousy issue and several posters have given that in a sensible way.

As to people saying it's too often etc, the OP has said that it's within the agreed scheme of things.

They know what they want and what the risks are. I don't feel able to dictate their choice, they can obviously read the situation well enough

Hot wife and cuckold often have a blurred line.

For us, the jealousy issue is monitored regularly and luckily it's never been a problem.

The whole dynamic of this lifestyle is extremely complex and can't be judged on one element.

And as was said earlier, what's good for one is poison for another.

Jealousy is often part on the thrill and as long as it's regulated, it will provide an extra kick in the relationship.

Bearing all that in mind, our advice is still to go for it...

Thanks for the support guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see both sides....for us though I am totally in charge! If he was jealous it really would be unlucky ha! We live the live 24/7 so he knows.... plus he enjoys it x

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"We been swinging 20 ++ years 95% of that was hotwife fun that we both wanted there is no jealousy in hotwife fun the idea should be both of yours if hes getting jealous then its not right for him ?? the day my hubs or I get jealous is the day we give in and go back to the vanilla world.... jealousy destroys relationships not build them ... oh and by the way no one is saying your a monster everyone is saying that your hubs being jealous is not right"

No everyone is not saying that, thanks anyway

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Respect your marriage!!

First and foremost x"

thanks doctor Phil, but of course I do that

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By *kbloke_11Man
over a year ago

Hockley

If hub has a hard on, he is into it, if he doesn't, you need to back off and talk

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By *appypaul69Man
over a year ago

vale

I personally think he’s a lucky man. I was cuckold in a previous relationship and loved it. Jealousy is a part of it and adds to the excitement

Oh to be him!!! ?? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Give your hubby a gorgeous girlfriend twice a week, problem solved

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By *iilboyCouple
over a year ago

walsall

as a cuckold of 18 years my wife had a regular bull for 5 years I think to be jealous is perfectly normal reaction to a guy giving your wife the fucking you can not and its so much better when she comes home

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"as a cuckold of 18 years my wife had a regular bull for 5 years I think to be jealous is perfectly normal reaction to a guy giving your wife the fucking you can not and its so much better when she comes home

Of course it’s normal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course it’s normal

I’m confused as to the point of this thread then?

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

It's a difficult one OP and whilst some very valid points have been made 9n the thread the right answer for you can only come from you and hubby - it does sound like you need to sit down and have a long talk and try to understand a few things, including what is behind his jealousy, whether he *really* wants you to carry on as you are, or just feels he's opened Pandora's Box but doesn't know how to put the lid back on.

It's a dangerous line you are treading, and that's not to be critical, but the fact you've asked the question here suggests you know that already anyway.

A few things to consider - is his jealousy because you're guarded with what you tell him perhaps? Maybe if you do, you do so because you think it'll hurt his feelings if you tell him in detail about your meets, whereas by doing so it could have the effect of him thinking you're hiding something, and blowing that out of proportion in his head.

Is it a simple thing of he's just as free to play with others, but has been unable to find anyone, and so gets jealous of the fact that you have? Or perhaps he'd like to have that opportunity but it's not been discussed.

Maybe it is simply a case of the reality being very different from the fantasy and he just can't handle it, or maybe even he'd feel better if he was present even if he's not participating.

No need to answer all of that here, just some points to consider - the key, as I started by saying is, discussing it between you and both being open and honest and deciding how you progress from there.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's a difficult one OP and whilst some very valid points have been made 9n the thread the right answer for you can only come from you and hubby - it does sound like you need to sit down and have a long talk and try to understand a few things, including what is behind his jealousy, whether he *really* wants you to carry on as you are, or just feels he's opened Pandora's Box but doesn't know how to put the lid back on.

It's a dangerous line you are treading, and that's not to be critical, but the fact you've asked the question here suggests you know that already anyway.

Maybe it is simply a case of the reality being very different from the fantasy and he just can't handle it, or maybe even he'd feel better if he was present even if he's not participating.

Good luck

Pandora’s box can not be shut, once it has been opened. That’s the gist of the mythology.

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

It's a dangerous line you are treading, and that's not to be critical, but the fact you've asked the question here suggests you know that already anyway.

Maybe it is simply a case of the reality being very different from the fantasy and he just can't handle it, or maybe even he'd feel better if he was present even if he's not participating.

Good luck

Thank you, he has no interest in meeting anyone else.. and as always we keep the dialogue going and discuss all issues, if it ever got to much the plug would be pulled believe me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Frequency isn't an issue if all boundaries are known...

Emotions know no bounds. Something is sure to arise with such frequent encounters. "

???? 100%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would the OP think it was cute if her hubby had a gf he saw twice aweek ?

????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love reading these things. The one thing I've noticed from taking it all in the OP will only derive from this what she so wishes. Eaxch relationship is very different but you must have noticed a problem for you to post it here but it seems you are looking for reassurances rather than actual advice.

I suggest maybe saying no to meeting the FB when the hubby suggests. If he asks why then you can openly discuss it, even mentioning that you have posted here. If he says nothing and goes with it then you have your answer.... He clearly isnt as into it as you are.

Hope this advice. Doesn't come across negative as its not the intention

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By *iganpairCouple
over a year ago

Wigan, Lancs.

"Twice a week!

Why?

Try twice a month and concentrate on your hubby ...he will feel appreciated and wanted then when it comes down to your FB it will be more exciting rather than normal.

Because that’s what we agreed upon before hand, it isn’t done without consent.. "

Jess used to meet her ex lover more or less every day night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t see any issue, you have acted within set agreed and encouraged parameters, you have recognised some feelings that were more than expected, are openly talking it through with him and have brought it to the forum for advice from others and have taken all of it (good and bad) on board.

I hope you have received the kind of confirmation and advice you were looking for, to put your mind at rest.

Cuckold feelings are in themselves demonesq, he is riding a rollercoaster of emotions, emotions he wants but sometimes is struggling to process.

You are giving him what he craves, but cuckolds are quite demanding, is possible he has got what he wished for, and the frequency and absolutely spot on nature of your delivery is past what he can deal with when he is not horny.

Perhaps a good test would be to dial it back to once a week or less even, let him enjoy it assisted by his horn, process what is happening and grow back from there?

I wish you all the best with it, your selfless willingness to can the whole thing if needed shows you care, and am sure once he gets used to things he will adore you even more for it.

Xxx

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Maybe time to take a break from the bf for a while and have a straight talk with hubby about where this is headed. I can see why he is feeling the way he is. Twice a week is a bit much tbh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both agreed only meet as a couple so this problem wouldn’t arise. I couldn’t handle the wife meeting alone and even worse for me would be her having a bf she saw regular on her own. I know I would start to resent the other guy

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Would the OP think it was cute if her hubby had a gf he saw twice aweek ?

????"

No probably not but it’s not my fantasy where as it is his, I’m not sure you understand how the hotwife scenario works to ask that question

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"I don’t see any issue, you have acted within set agreed and encouraged parameters, you have recognised some feelings that were more than expected, are openly talking it through with him and have brought it to the forum for advice from others and have taken all of it (good and bad) on board.

I hope you have received the kind of confirmation and advice you were looking for, to put your mind at rest.

Cuckold feelings are in themselves demonesq, he is riding a rollercoaster of emotions, emotions he wants but sometimes is struggling to process.

Perhaps a good test would be to dial it back to once a week or less even, let him enjoy it assisted by his horn, process what is happening and grow back from there?

I wish you all the best with it, your selfless willingness to can the whole thing if needed shows you care, and am sure once he gets used to things he will adore you even more for it.

Xxx"

Perfectly put and helpful. Thank you x

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"I love reading these things. The one thing I've noticed from taking it all in the OP will only derive from this what she so wishes. Eaxch relationship is very different but you must have noticed a problem for you to post it here but it seems you are looking for reassurances rather than actual advice.

Hope this advice. Doesn't come across negative as its not the intention "

Not looking for reassurances for myself at all, looking for ways to reassure him and maintain a healthy ongoing kink we both enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

those that say if your not jealous then you dont care ??? really there 1,000s of couples who do this day in day out and have done for years yet dont suffer from it in any form.

its about knowing what you want and if done correctly and both fully on board then sorry jealousy just never comes into it ever just pure fun and a giggle thats it ..... i think jealousy is a sign of being insecure with whats going on.

for me/us jealousy of any form should not be apart of swinging as a whole

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"those that say if your not jealous then you dont care ??? really there 1,000s of couples who do this day in day out and have done for years yet dont suffer from it in any form.

for me/us jealousy of any form should not be apart of swinging as a whole "

Of course that’s just your opinion though, 1000s of couples have also experienced a tinge of jealousy too doesn’t make them wrong does it? Jealousy if harnessed properly can make the experience so much more intense, Hence the whole “claiming back” part of the hotwife / cuckold scenarios

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

"Just recently (since I got a regular bf) my hubby has seemed to have a little of the green eyed monster.. I think it’s cute and obviously means he cares, and the sex is amazing when I come back to him but this one really seems to have wound him up..

Anyone else had similar? "

What would you do or like him to do if the situation was reversed?

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

Anyone else had similar?

What would you do or like him to do if the situation was reversed?"

I’d be straight forward with him and not chop and change my mind every other day lol, and I’d like him to do what I’m doing, seeking advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else had similar? "

I think that is the fun part.

It's obviously "jelousy" but he will become really horny thinking about it and accepting it also.

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By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Twice a week!

Why?

Try twice a month and concentrate on your hubby ...he will feel appreciated and wanted then when it comes down to your FB it will be more exciting rather than normal.

Because that’s what we agreed upon before hand, it isn’t done without consent.. "

Do you 'play' exclusively with the boyfriend now?

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By *otwife34 OP Couple
over a year ago

wiltshire

"Twice a week!

Why?

Try twice a month and concentrate on your hubby ...he will feel appreciated and wanted then when it comes down to your FB it will be more exciting rather than normal.

Because that’s what we agreed upon before hand, it isn’t done without consent..

Do you 'play' exclusively with the boyfriend now?"

No not exclusively

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone else had similar? "
why is he wound up are you doing anything different with this guy than you did the others? Is he particularly handsome?

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By *uriousTwosomeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Mrs occasionally wants BBC, which is fine, but there’s a fine line between liking a Bull for an occasional fuck, and her enjoying being with him... that’s the point it will damage a marriage (just see how many ex single cucks are on Fab!)

Personally, if you both get off on her fucking other men, maybe have a few regulars, and not fixate on one ‘boyfriend’ as it could naturally be just a matter of time til feeling develop and that is where it becomes more than just sex!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps when the fb isn’t as good looking or as fit or doesn’t have much to offer a potential partner out of the bedroom as the husband it can seem great but if say this new fb has the full package going for them then maybe it’s all a bit too much, perspective can be a very big thing. The guy who is maybe not the most arts active but has a huge cock might appeal to some, the guy who’s gorgeous but is a total player maybe appeals to other, the intellectual who’s more about the chat and the foreplay but doesn’t really finish the job so well to others but maybe this new guy ticks too many boxes ???

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