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Help me get started in staffordshire

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals "

That made me laugh way too hard,especially as I'm a Staffordshire lass.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ladies in Staffordshire wont let OP wedge his wood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the thread title, I thought someone had broken down on the M6

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By *irkydirkyMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

A grown man that uses the word ‘naughty’ and cheats isn’t too high up on the ladies pecking order here..

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

That made me laugh way too hard,especially as I'm a Staffordshire lass. "

Obviously not from the Puritan parts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals "
You don't know the half of it. The pig incident was the only incident known and reported about. There we may rumours surrounding the King, many too horrific to consider. Search records for the 'Marmite proxy'. It'll blow your mind.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals You don't know the half of it. The pig incident was the only incident known and reported about. There we may rumours surrounding the King, many too horrific to consider. Search records for the 'Marmite proxy'. It'll blow your mind. "

The Marmite Proxy? As I recall , wasn't that the enforcement of yeast infections on all unmarried women?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals You don't know the half of it. The pig incident was the only incident known and reported about. There we may rumours surrounding the King, many too horrific to consider. Search records for the 'Marmite proxy'. It'll blow your mind.

The Marmite Proxy? As I recall , wasn't that the enforcement of yeast infections on all unmarried women?"

You know your history

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A grown man that uses the word ‘naughty’ and cheats isn’t too high up on the ladies pecking order here.. "
don't kick a man while he's down

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

That made me laugh way too hard,especially as I'm a Staffordshire lass.

Obviously not from the Puritan parts "

Is it that obvious

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

"

The thing is why would anyone choose someone appearing to be dishonest when there are so many genuinely single guys on here??

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By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

That made me laugh way too hard,especially as I'm a Staffordshire lass. "

Even being from the border of Staffs, I thought that was great!

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

Unfortunately, from my point of view there is no point in meeting you. a) no pictures, b) you're attached, so not worth me investing time in you, c) as you are attached and doing this, means for me I wouldn't be able to trust you.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I've got a poster of King Æthelred the Flaccid on the back of my toilet door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A grown man that uses the word ‘naughty’ and cheats isn’t too high up on the ladies pecking order here.. "

But he will give them a buzzin time...

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"I've got a poster of King Æthelred the Flaccid on the back of my toilet door. "

Did you have trouble getting it up there?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals "

Couldn't have put it any better!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals "

I think I kind of love you

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

I think I kind of love you "

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By *ffanotdykeCouple
over a year ago

Telford

Thats a very sweeping statement about Shropshire ladies. Just because the alternative name for Shropshire is Salop and we know what a salop(e) is in french.

No? Look it up.

G&A

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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago

Cheshire/Staffs

Charles II, during his extensive journey from Perth in 1651, journeyed through Staffordshire and was afforded plenty of protection.

So we Staffordshire folk were not as Puritan as has been alleged on his thread.

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By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone


"Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

"

But you have no photos so how could I/we consider you?

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

The thing I've never understood about Æthelfuck the Flaccid is how he managed to have 14 children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

"

Oohh, Imagine that!!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The thing I've never understood about Æthelfuck the Flaccid is how he managed to have 14 children. "

He didn't. His wife told him they were his but really they were the spawn of Frædærick the Fertile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing I've never understood about Æthelfuck the Flaccid is how he managed to have 14 children.

He didn't. His wife told him they were his but really they were the spawn of Frædærick the Fertile. "

Yeah, cos they didnt establish proper sperm banks, until the reign of Canute.

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By *uliaChrisCouple
over a year ago

westerham


"The thing I've never understood about Æthelfuck the Flaccid is how he managed to have 14 children.

He didn't. His wife told him they were his but really they were the spawn of Frædærick the Fertile.

Yeah, cos they didnt establish proper sperm banks, until the reign of Canute."

You lot are bonkers

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

I’m in Staffordshire and there’s nothing wrong with the place! Full of plenty of people with open minds and keen to have fun.

Shropshire however is one of the most depraved filthy places you’ll ever visit in your life

I go there regularly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The thing I've never understood about Æthelfuck the Flaccid is how he managed to have 14 children.

He didn't. His wife told him they were his but really they were the spawn of Frædærick the Fertile.

Yeah, cos they didnt establish proper sperm banks, until the reign of Canute.

You lot are bonkers "

"Some people pay for thrills

But I get mine for free"

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

According to Sven Fukwit in his 13th century book, A Fabricated History of Pre-Norman England,Frædærick the Fertile was a Danish warlord who would regularly cross over from the Danelaw to meet the Lady Efferdamp,and satisfy her in the way her husband Æthalfuck was unable to,hence the 14 bastard offspring

The eldest of these,Harold Frontbottom,would often cross into Shropshire where the Wanton Women of Wenlock(the WWW) had founded a brothel known as a Jezebelry to service the needs of their sex starved neighbours, giving rise to the expression"Hast thee had Much Wenlock?"

Harold Frontbottom sired an heir,Eustace, with one of these women,known as Dorothy Comebody, or as she is now known WWWDotCom .After many years fighting to claim his ancestral birthright, he united the various English lands under one crown.Sadly the puritanism which was still rife in his native Staffordshire meant he had to change his name to a more respectable sounding Canute ,rather than his birth name of Eustace Cnut,before ascending the throne in 1016.The rest is history

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Thanks so much Clare for the history lesson. Much appreciated. Any info about what became of the other 13 bastard offspring ?

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Thanks so much Clare for the history lesson. Much appreciated. Any info about what became of the other 13 bastard offspring ?"

According to Sven, six died in infancy, the second son Brim became a feared warrior,climbed a giant oak tree to spy on his enemies and never came down,no trace was ever found

The third son Obtuse entered the priest hood,attempted to establish Lichfield as a papal alternative to Rome,and drowned in a vat of communion wine.

The three surviving girls were married off across Europe to build alliances The last surviving son reputedly died of rhubarb ( that's how it translated?)

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

Sometimes I have no idea what is fact or fiction! Staffordshire lass with a Shropshire man. We don’t meet attached men as there are many single men out there to choose from.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals "

Exactly where in Shropshire are these loose moist women

#askingforafriend

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds


"The last surviving son reputedly died of rhubarb ( that's how it translated?) "

Raw rhubarb is poisonous so he must not have stewed it for long enough.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!


"Unfortunately parts of Staffordshire are still under an ancient Mercian law,brought about by King Æthelfuck the Flaccid who was caught sodomising a Tamworth pig in 969 AD and in repentance he outlawed all forms of non-procreational sex outside of marriage .Sorry you live in the Puritan Zone, try Shropshire,it's full of moist women with loose morals

Exactly where in Shropshire are these loose moist women

#askingforafriend"

On Midsummers Eve,they dance naked around the Devil's Chair on Stiperstones.You've just missed it

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By *J coupleCouple
over a year ago

stone


"Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

"

Very local but seems your only identifiable part (photo to see) is that of a cock. It’d be nice to maybe chat to a person, preferably not a cock.

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By *irl1234xxxWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

You’re profile is horrid.

No photos, a buzzin time? Wtf?

Is your age range an oversight?

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

You "grind really well".

What do you grind ? Peppercorns?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Just return on here with a new profile after a big break.

It's so harder for guys on here who are attached or married and playing away from home. Lots of people give us a bad time on here.

No ladies will play.

"

Why not sort out your stuff at home instead of expecting women to join you in disrespecting your girlfriend?

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By *harliedrMan
over a year ago

stoke

Bit harsh guys.

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley


"Bit harsh guys. "

Not really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I forgot how funny this thread was.

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

I'd forgotten about it completely

I think the OP ran for the hills away from these STRANGE peoples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 my boy OP

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By *ust ClareTV/TS
over a year ago

Settlewick!

Just revisited this thread as something else reminded me of it.

I wonder what happened to the OP after he ran away in bemusement.

Did he ever rejoin under a different name or is he feasting with the gods of Unlos in Fabhalla?

If you're out there ,show yourself!

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By *alty surpriseMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

He probably joined forces with tony Robinson on time team.. Looking for phallic symbols in staffs

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