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The great unwashed...

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham

There has been a suggestion tonight that the general public, whoever and whatever they are,all condemn swingers, and that we all cry into our horlicks over this.

Recently i blogged about the krankies,in the course of this i researched various newpaper articles,particually the sun and the guardian. Whilst of course there were a few they will burn in hell comments the majority were positive, either good on them or not for me but each to their own

Those friends who know we swing are not shocked, dont see us a bad ppl. We don't talk about our sex life because it is our sex life, which normal person does bring it up with friends and family?

This is all anecdotal of course but it is my experience that most ppl dont care what others do in bed.

There are of course greater problems if you work in the public sector and have a not bringing the employee into disrepute clause in your contract.As a libertarian if i won the lottery one of my first acts would be to challenge such clauses in the courts, re sexual behaviuor.

So two points for general debate/discussion...

1, Do you believe the average person thinks that badly of swinging and swingers...the average non swining person that is as we are all average too

2.Do you care what the perception of some might be, so long as it doesn't impact on your home and family?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope to think we live in a more open and tolerent society and not with labels anymore.

And most of the people I care about know what I do. I came out as a swinger to my parents last year as I have nothing to hide. And was fed up of lying or making excuses when I was going to chams for the weekend

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham


"I hope to think we live in a more open and tolerent society and not with labels anymore.

And most of the people I care about know what I do. I came out as a swinger to my parents last year as I have nothing to hide. And was fed up of lying or making excuses when I was going to chams for the weekend"

i do hate the excuses i have to make to my parents, sady my dad would kill kev...ironic i know

Do you agree with me then that most ppl dont care what others do in bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My family and friends know that I don't lead a conventional life. Some know that I swing. None have been judgemental or critical of my lifestyle nor have said anything against it. Some have confessed to being envious and one or two are toying with the idea of trying it. Attitudes are slowly changing for the better ...

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

Think the ones that would have anything negative to say about us being "swingers" are the ones that don't know us...so don't care...

Families and a few select friends know, as they all know us well, they have nothing negative to say about it....

The only family members that don't know are both our dads....

Simply, people that don't know you will happily judge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think theres a hell of a lot of people who dont do this who would if they had the balls to talk to their partner about it, or if they single had the courage and know how how to get into to

The thing is they cant admit to this so have to act all shocked when really they'd love to know more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

The thing is they cant admit to this so have to act all shocked when really they'd love to know more "

Ain't that the trutth... I know I'd get a response like 'oooh no, I don't know how you could', and then five minutes later it'd be..

'what's it like?' lol

Those closest to me know we get up to things that are a little more savoury than the average.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only family members that don't know are both our dads...."

That's a bit of a theme, isn't it - mum can know, but dad can't?

I wonder why, are men more judgemental?

Or is there another reason they don't get told...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The only family members that don't know are both our dads....

That's a bit of a theme, isn't it - mum can know, but dad can't?

I wonder why, are men more judgemental?

Or is there another reason they don't get told...?"

maybe neither of their mums are still with us so in theory what they are saying is parents dont know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The majority of our friends know and don't care, in fact they are quite intrigued and always want to know more than we want to tell them. A few have even got into the lifestyle and that's mainly because they see how full of life, confident and happy as a couple we are when we are swinging.

Some of our family know, due to one very indiscreet family friend that spotted our profile and printed it off for them. They don't disapprove, but it's never ever discussed with them and they humour us when we need sitters and we make up excuses as to where we are going.

As for joe blog, I couldn't care less what they thought.

The only time it would concern me is if one of my children's friends found out and they possibly became the subject of bullying because of it. That would absolutely horrify me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"maybe neither of their mums are still with us so in theory what they are saying is parents dont know "

Nah, they'd have said if mum's weren't around. It's a dad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i can honestly say i really have never cared who i admit to being a swinger to

Family all know a lot of my customers know (surprising what you end up talking about)

Pretty much all the regulars in the pub and even the neighbors

I have NEVER had any negative reaction and have actually given advise to some about how to enter the scene

The most recent being a police constable and his wife

So i do think that how some of us see it it really isnt that bigger issue

Newspapers sell on the strength of shock

I know for definite every time a certain swinging hotel in Blackpool run by friends of mine gets an article in one of the womens magazines no matter how that article portrays swinging

Their phone rings off the hook with new inquiries xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't openly talk about swinging to non swinging people so I don't really get to hear the views of the non swingers.

I haven't heard, or rather I haven't taken any notice of what they might think.

We are adults and we choose to engage with other consenting adults, and as long as what we do doesn't impact on their lives, it's got nothing to do with them. Likewise, I don't care if they choose to play bowls and bingo

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham


"The only family members that don't know are both our dads....

That's a bit of a theme, isn't it - mum can know, but dad can't?

I wonder why, are men more judgemental?

Or is there another reason they don't get told...?"

i think it has to do with how dads view their daughters, pretty sure that despite having 2 kids my dad still hopes i am a virgin.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham


"The majority of our friends know and don't care, in fact they are quite intrigued and always want to know more than we want to tell them. A few have even got into the lifestyle and that's mainly because they see how full of life, confident and happy as a couple we are when we are swinging.

Some of our family know, due to one very indiscreet family friend that spotted our profile and printed it off for them. They don't disapprove, but it's never ever discussed with them and they humour us when we need sitters and we make up excuses as to where we are going.

As for joe blog, I couldn't care less what they thought.

The only time it would concern me is if one of my children's friends found out and they possibly became the subject of bullying because of it. That would absolutely horrify me."

Thats my view of the general perception, its partly why i started the thread, i was quite shocked that someone could think swingers are sitting at home worrying about people who dont know them think of swinging.

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham

Thanks for all your answers, i wonder if it has to do with being confident in ourselves and what we do,and therefore not needing validation for our choices.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all your answers, i wonder if it has to do with being confident in ourselves and what we do,and therefore not needing validation for our choices."

Looking into the swinging world of now its not dirty or seedy we all value our sexual health a lot more than other people it is a lot about sexual liberation and I would much rather go a swinger club on my own than into town as I know I would be safe and well looked after it is a very friendly and warm community. Its for those who dont know that judge and quite frankly they dont know what they are talking about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people have a "I'm doing what I want and blow the consequences" attitude.

I think what would surprise the public is that swingers are as critical of unfaithfulness as everybody else.

I think many people would consider us sex maniacs who go to clubs, strip off and dive into a pile of naked strangers grabbing whatever falls in their hands first. No choice, no selection just a mechanical act.

I remember being in a Brighton pub many years ago with a male friend. When he returned from the loo he remarked that he thought we were in a gay pub because there were no women and they were selling Gay News behind the bar. I told him not to worry and they'd just think we were together, but then thought it's the same with gay men. Just because you're in a gay pub it doesn't mean you're going to be approached any more than you would be by a woman in a straight pub.

Misconceptions

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

My best friend who knows everything about me doesnt understand it and sees it as unfaithfullness and also sad that people dont feel sexually fulfilled by their partners i have tried to explain to her its not about that but despite her thinking she is broadminded she really isnt she accepts it from me but then she knows im submissive too and doesnt understand that either. Some people will always make their own assumptions about this community we are all in we cant change their opinions

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By *plpxp2Couple
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

I thought this was going to be another thread about personal hygiene

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

as a bi male in a swinger couple (mr new). i not only have to deal with swinging but with the fact that i might accidentally look at any straight man's cock and suddenly he is all "dahrlink" and booking in season tickets to Mamma Mia

As I say "I am what I am", naturally sung with a flamboyant gesture and a seeky peak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There has been a suggestion tonight that the general public, whoever and whatever they are,all condemn swingers, and that we all cry into our horlicks over this.

Recently i blogged about the krankies,in the course of this i researched various newpaper articles,particually the sun and the guardian. Whilst of course there were a few they will burn in hell comments the majority were positive, either good on them or not for me but each to their own

Those friends who know we swing are not shocked, dont see us a bad ppl. We don't talk about our sex life because it is our sex life, which normal person does bring it up with friends and family?

This is all anecdotal of course but it is my experience that most ppl dont care what others do in bed.

There are of course greater problems if you work in the public sector and have a not bringing the employee into disrepute clause in your contract.As a libertarian if i won the lottery one of my first acts would be to challenge such clauses in the courts, re sexual behaviuor.

So two points for general debate/discussion...

1, Do you believe the average person thinks that badly of swinging and swingers...the average non swining person that is as we are all average too

2.Do you care what the perception of some might be, so long as it doesn't impact on your home and family?"

I was concerned about how people would react if I told them about what I was doing, and must confess I still haven't told my friends and family as I'm not sure they'd understand and wouldn't want them to worry about me as I do meet single males privately. I do sometimes want to tell my friends though as I'd love to be able to talk openly about some of my experiences...maybe one day I will.

However, a colleague at work joined the site and came across my profile (I used to have my face pics public), and instead of saying something to me...even something in jest or a dig at my 'skills', he decided to show it to everyone else in the building. I only found out a couple of weeks after my profile and verifications had been widely discussed and critiqued!

To this day only two people from work have mentioned it to my face...one who wants an invite round, and one who is on here with her partner! I asked both what had been said about me, expecting all kinds of names, but was surprised to learn that the general opinion seems to be that I am doing no one any harm, it's my body and my life. In fact, most were more disappointed by the guy who outed me as they just saw that as a spiteful act that could have caused me real issues at work

So I guess in summary, I expected my lifestyle to be a huge issue when really no one was overly arsed! I was always a little concerned about getting grief or people think I was 'unclean'(!), and whilst there maybe individuals who feel that way about me, generally I think most people are too concerned with their own life to be worrying about mine! x

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By *emima_puddlefuck OP   Couple
over a year ago

hexham


"There has been a suggestion tonight that the general public, whoever and whatever they are,all condemn swingers, and that we all cry into our horlicks over this.

Recently i blogged about the krankies,in the course of this i researched various newpaper articles,particually the sun and the guardian. Whilst of course there were a few they will burn in hell comments the majority were positive, either good on them or not for me but each to their own

Those friends who know we swing are not shocked, dont see us a bad ppl. We don't talk about our sex life because it is our sex life, which normal person does bring it up with friends and family?

This is all anecdotal of course but it is my experience that most ppl dont care what others do in bed.

There are of course greater problems if you work in the public sector and have a not bringing the employee into disrepute clause in your contract.As a libertarian if i won the lottery one of my first acts would be to challenge such clauses in the courts, re sexual behaviuor.

So two points for general debate/discussion...

1, Do you believe the average person thinks that badly of swinging and swingers...the average non swining person that is as we are all average too

2.Do you care what the perception of some might be, so long as it doesn't impact on your home and family?

I was concerned about how people would react if I told them about what I was doing, and must confess I still haven't told my friends and family as I'm not sure they'd understand and wouldn't want them to worry about me as I do meet single males privately. I do sometimes want to tell my friends though as I'd love to be able to talk openly about some of my experiences...maybe one day I will.

However, a colleague at work joined the site and came across my profile (I used to have my face pics public), and instead of saying something to me...even something in jest or a dig at my 'skills', he decided to show it to everyone else in the building. I only found out a couple of weeks after my profile and verifications had been widely discussed and critiqued!

To this day only two people from work have mentioned it to my face...one who wants an invite round, and one who is on here with her partner! I asked both what had been said about me, expecting all kinds of names, but was surprised to learn that the general opinion seems to be that I am doing no one any harm, it's my body and my life. In fact, most were more disappointed by the guy who outed me as they just saw that as a spiteful act that could have caused me real issues at work

So I guess in summary, I expected my lifestyle to be a huge issue when really no one was overly arsed! I was always a little concerned about getting grief or people think I was 'unclean'(!), and whilst there maybe individuals who feel that way about me, generally I think most people are too concerned with their own life to be worrying about mine! x"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i think it has to do with how dads view their daughters, pretty sure that despite having 2 kids my dad still hopes i am a virgin. "

I reckon that's about it - despite all the things dad's get up to with mum's - they still live in a dream world of purity. I'm the same!

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