FabSwingers.com forum: Is swinging just sex...

By *parxyndpetal OP Couple
over a year ago

Durham

Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When me and my hubby meet couples swinging then yes its just sex. When meeting a single guy a few times then it can easily develop into more than just sex.

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By *inky VikingMan
over a year ago

Hull

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "

For myself and my wife it's more than just sex. Because we enjoy the social side to swinging as well. It's the only time we can be 100% ourselves. The friends we made even with the sex made this whole endeavour worth while.

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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago

Norfolk

We are here for sex.

But if a friendship develops then that’s fine but it’s not a mean reason for being here.

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By * Lexi xWoman
over a year ago

stockport

Just depends.

I’ve had “just sex” but I’ve also developed feelings.

If you meet someone along the way and that happens it can’t be helped.

You never know who your gonna bump into.

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

I always thought swinging was about being open minded....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, originally, joining this site was mainly about sex - not necessarily just the one-offs, but still NSA. I never imagined I'd find a very good friend on here, who really came through for me when I had my accident, as well as a soulmate. So I guess it's not just sex any more lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much more than just sex, for us, sex is the least important part of swinging. We know it sounds crazy but the social side is what makes it, having a laugh and not worrying about what is said, we guess it's the freedom it brings. We host a lot of parties and have known couples for over a year and not played, not because we dont want to, just haven't got round to it, cause we all enjoy each others company and it's not a priority.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For some it’s clearly sex and they manage swinging to meet those needs. Others are less rigid and sometimes it changes to more than simply sex. Or it could be part of a dynamic where sex is a part of something else, e.g. cuckolding or some D/s relationships where sex is not the sole interest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "

Depends on the person, some seenit as a social activity. Some see it as a release or escape, some see it as an agreeable way to spice up relations.

Its open for an incredible amount of interpretation.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

Social and sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "

We don't do it just for sex we prefer a social as well as sexual connection over a longer term, as you get to know people's likes and dislikes over time.

This connection makes the sex better for us, I suppose we make love without being in love.

In fact some couples we have been sexual with have become friends without the sex anymore. Male

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By *parxyndpetal OP Couple
over a year ago

Durham

Thank you all for your response,

I think being in a couple makes it different as such for me anyways.

I absolutely love sex but when meeting others I want a little bit more. I've said it a thousand times but I feel sorry for the genuine single blokes on here as the ones who are using this site thinking they can get free sex puts me off wanting to meet a bloke.

I'm definitely a social person so would want that to be part of it for me not the 'meet me in 20 mins for the fucking of your life' kind of thing

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By *he riverdeep69Couple
over a year ago

North west ish

As a single I was here for the social side too. As a couple we have our friendship circle so am just here for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just depends.

I’ve had “just sex” but I’ve also developed feelings.

If you meet someone along the way and that happens it can’t be helped.

You never know who your gonna bump into. "

it is beautiful when it happens even more so when it is unexpected

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "

We see it as a hobby, we don’t get emotionally attached to anybody we swing with. We just have sex with them,sometimes really naughty sex too!

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

For us it was suppose to be just sex in the beginning but found we have made some amazing true friends along the way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being a single guy of older years it's both great company and great sex...

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By *aughty Little SecretsCouple
over a year ago

Wetherby

Love the social side

Made some lovely connections xx

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By *wosmilersCouple
over a year ago

Heathrowish

It shpuld be fun but not emotional......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For us it's just sex, we'd have a social before just to make sure the attraction is mutual.

After the meet if we saw the person/people in the street/pub etc then we'd say hello but we're not really looking for friendships.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

People vary. For ourselves it's about sexual interaction primarily although friendship would be nice if it developed. I think anyone looking for more than just sex needs to be very wary as people will offer what they think you want to achieve their own aim.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It's a broad subject. It's different things to different people, and for me at least, it can't be pinned down to a single thing.

For me: At its best, swinging is a lot more than just sex. It's people you have real relationships with, can do non-sexual things as friends with. And sex with them as well. These can be fairly shallow relationships, but it's nice to be able to go to dinner with someone and have a decent conversation before heading to bed. And there's occasionally one that goes much deeper.

Being single, and wanting to stay single, swinging gives me the opportunity to have several of these relationships without any of us getting jealous, or expecting them to go the conventional route of living together and getting married. And when the other people are already married to someone else, it means it's possible for the relationship to exist at all.

But sometimes it ends up just being sex. If I meet someone, I always hope that there'll be more than just a physical connection. Sometimes there isn't. That's OK. We might not get the full experience, but we can still enjoy it.

And that's fine. I can't handle many friendships at one time, so really it's a good thing that not every encounter goes that way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm here to place my penis into vagina. Many many times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For couples it's swinging

For singles it's sex with others

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

For us it's just sex,we are happy with that ,if someone wants to meet again then we'd be open to it.does that mean a relationship has formed I'm not sure.if so it would be just a sexual one.id be pretty shocked if I walked in and the wife is sitting down with the kids and our meet from the week before is sitting there having a coffee chatting the small stuff with our kids lol

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By *urboTongue21Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Think swinging is a lifestyle choice whereas some people are on Fab just for whatever sex they can get?

I would differentiate between sex and swinging although the two have a clear crossover.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it’s mostly deleted messages and no sex!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Happy with good sex.

If I like them too much i walk away

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

My personal take on swinging if not actually about the sex. For me it's about being part of the Swinging community, supporting clubs and events making new friends that I do have an interest in apart from in any kind of sexual way.

The intimacy and liberation is kind of on top of all that. I love being able to go to single clubs as an independent woman and wear whatever I like without judgement, to meet lots of new people and be able to talk honestly about more sexual things, and be in a socially charged environment. When something more sexual happens with me, well that's wonderful but it is not what I go out looking for as a priority.

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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago

norwich

My icing on the cake is going to "swinging" clubs , I will spend half my time playing ,sucking and fucking .

Then just as much time chatting and dancing.

I could happily go to a club and not have any sexual contact.

Everyone is so relaxed and happy.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s just fun

Either socially or sexually or both

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Booking.

Jo.Xx

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By *p4funCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth

"It’s just fun

Either socially or sexually or both"

This

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By *rtraymondo76Man
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Thank you all for your response,

I think being in a couple makes it different as such for me anyways.

I'm definitely a social person so would want that to be part of it for me not the 'meet me in 20 mins for the fucking of your life' kind of thing

Xx"

Read through a few replies to your enquiry OP (petal) and it sounds as if you've gleaned from them a lot of good sense. This sounds almost the complete answer to me.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

It really can be anything. You can swing with person/s you love romantically and you can swing with people you've just met and never see again. Often there is freindship and love involved (love to me is very broad, you can love your freinds). I often see sex as an extension of the love between freinds (different that romantic love). Sex to me can be used in a number of capacities to show love, care and acceptance of others and to me this is the same in swinging.

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By *ntrigued32Couple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Bookmarking.

Jo.Xx "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It shpuld be fun but not emotional......"

Its hard for me too see where caring about another's needs isn't an emotional process. Although I don't want an relationship with another person but my caring side wouldn't allow me to upset them or breach their boundaries.

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

For us it’s about exploring new adventures pushing boundaries, trying new things which I suppose in simples terms means yes it’s just about the sex for us

MrsH

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"id be pretty shocked if I walked in and the wife is sitting down with the kids and our meet from the week before is sitting there having a coffee chatting the small stuff with our kids lol"

That's what happens with some of my swinging friends. I've met their families, and one of them has met mine (my family lives in Australia, so it doesn't happen often). They're friends. There's nothing wrong with your friends meeting your family. We just don't go into detail about the exact nature of our friendship...

It doesn't happen with everyone. Some people want to keep the two worlds completely separate. I respect that.

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Depend on what you want varies for everyone but swinging in the sense of the name is just sex but comes with many dynamics from cuckold, hotwife, DM, FWB, and other connection you can think of.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "
Depends in what context.... As a lifestyle no its not, in regards to this site for many yes but not everyone here is a true swinger, lots of single people use it as a way of meeting partners, some use it as a chat site, some are exhibitionists, every scenario is present here, sex is thrust in your face as it is in advertising, you can't avoid that aspect of it, I certainly never lead with sexual innuendo

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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago

leeds

"Or do people see it as more than just sex??

I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??

Would love others perspectives.... "

For us swinging is only about the sex. It is the opportunity for us to share our sexual fantasies and share each others enjoyment at living them out. We have no need for any emotional connection with others, or any need to socialise before play. So for us clubs provide the ideal swinging environment: We can meet and play with strangers and keep the swinging totally separate from our vanilla lives. Having said that, a few regular playmates have become friends, and interestingly a vanilla friend has become a playmate, but those are exceptions.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

Yes just sex, it is the best way to make contacts for sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the person / people. Mostly it is just sex for me and I don't usually have a desire to continue chatting after a meet. Don't usually like to do repeat meets either. However, I met a lovely guy on here who has become a friend because he is just so lovely and is the only person so far I have played with again.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

As I'm half a couple its just sex as in i'm not looking for anything more.

That doesn't mean i don't like the social side and friendships too.

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By *hewifeandiCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"As I'm half a couple its just sex as in i'm not looking for anything more.

That doesn't mean i don't like the social side and friendships too."

Exactly this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always care - even if I don’t want to take it any further with someone, I still feel something. NSA doesn’t exist, for me. Always been the same, regardless of whether it was a friend, sexual partner, or long term boyfriend.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

For me it's the intimacy. I love sex with multiple partners and love the intimacy it engenders. I always have soft spots for the men I've slept with it's not love but definitely is not totally no strings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always care - even if I don’t want to take it any further with someone, I still feel something. NSA doesn’t exist, for me. Always been the same, regardless of whether it was a friend, sexual partner, or long term boyfriend."

This

I don't think I could have a one night stand, it would feel awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sex

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By *ohnandLucyCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle

No, it's a social connection and playing is part of that social connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is the last in a long list of things I'm here for.

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By *old1974Man
over a year ago

Manchester

I met someone at a club and ended up in a relationship for two years so yes it can be more than just sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sex.

You can make friends along the way..but mostly just sex.

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By *hickennchipsWoman
over a year ago

up above the streets and houses

Just sex for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say that it is yes

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By *esires of HertsCouple
over a year ago

Herts and London Borders

Mostly just sex, with some socialising at parties and clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is a tricky business.

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By *ipi2001Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Finding a definition is impossible. Swinging can be sex, social, ect ect. The main point is the people to whom you interact. That my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its all about respecting other people’s desires and wishes, I don’t think there is definition of what swinging is the only common denominator seems to be we have decided that we’d like to have sex with more than person for the rest of our lives. Everyone is different and sex is more important to some than others and it’s natural to attach more importance to sex with people you care for..some people can switch off from this easily. Its not always easy though and how many of us on here take a break every few months or so?

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By *r and Mrs A HornyCouple
over a year ago

coventry

So for us it sex and social xx

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By *rl322Man
over a year ago

wr11

Hi I'd like it to be more than just sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally depends.....

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By *ocketman20Man
over a year ago

Douglas

Totally just sex, but sometimes friendships are made along the way.

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By *loswingersCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

Anyone who may be reading this and wondering , here’s our take on it after eight years of swinging , and currently over a year out of it .

If you really think the friendships you develop while swinging are really anything more than acquaintances you met while enjoying this hobby , you’re going to be disappointed at some point . Most people will say and do anything to get what they want when it comes to this lifestyle , so if you want more than sex , beware . Pretty much everyone we know that wanted more , were let down and often were left feeling gullible . Especially the singles looking for love .

As a couple we quickly learned that swinging is a great hobby , and extremely shallow . Nothing wrong with that , and we loved it . But expect it to have meaning and depth and you’ll be wondering why you bothered .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Anyone who may be reading this and wondering , here’s our take on it after eight years of swinging , and currently over a year out of it .

Spot on

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

It's recreational sex for highly-sexed people with the need for variety. Being in a group makes things more intense than one-on-ones, in our opinion.

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